So, I'm actually playing the game now!
1) Man, I have the worst memory ever. I don't remember saying ANY of these lines.
2) The first trial basically assumed I was a moron, but I'll cut it some slack because it was the first trial.
3) The free time feels super annoying to me (especially because I feel like I need to go through the slow, slooooooooowwwwwwww MonoMono machine animation for gifts). Running around trying to find specific people is lame, and what good are all these abilities and SP+1's anyway? The "rhythm" portion of the game is mind-numbingly dull, even on Mean.
4) Still enjoying it a lot, though. The localization really is extremely well done. (Thumbs up to Houk) I love Celeste. Hate Hagakure.