Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years

Status
Not open for further replies.
:/
EDIT: Smudges are on the mirror, not my clothes, lol

Lookin good my man.

Button up some of the bottom buttons, but not the bottom most button, and loosen that scarf a little bit.

Also, a black cardigan and a gray striped v-neck would look great with a colored scarf of some kind too. Monochrome plus a colored accessory is one of my favorite things to do.

Edit: Devo beat me to it!
 
You guys underestimate the power of monochrome. Getting gray, black, and white properly put together is beautiful.

There's also nothing wrong with using some item of color. For instance,

tumblr_m71mipLBDK1qbzysno1_1280.jpg
 
i always feel weird wearing all one color.

I have a hard time believing any of the people in here who whine about how they're ugly and can't land women have ever been legitimately cocky and funny.

no problems there...
actually that brings a whole set of unrelated problems in my classes but that isn't really that big of a deal.
 
Monochrome rocks, trust me I know.

Tomorrow, in fact, I'm wearing a white collared shirt with a black vest and gray tie. Darker gray corduroy pants and black shoes, as well.

Gonna wear my black jacket and a colored scarf for my outside ventures. Gonna be sweet.
 
I have a hard time believing any of the people in here who whine about how they're ugly and can't land women have ever been legitimately cocky and funny.

I have been told I'm super funny, personable, great speaker (despite having what some would call a bad voice), and some others I forget. All coming from girls, not guys. I'm also pretty sure I'm not ugly at all but I've been called that before.

And yet, I still lack that ability to fully attract someone. I'm trying to find that missing piece. No whining just finding.
 
I have been told I'm super funny, personable, great speaker (despite having what some would call a bad voice), and some others I forget. All coming from girls, not guys. I'm also pretty sure I'm not ugly at all but I've been called that before.

And yet, I still lack that ability to fully attract someone. I'm trying to find that missing piece. No whining just finding.

Yay good points.
Personally, I think my smile is excellent. I have been told directly that it is "cute, with just a dash of mischievousness". Too bad that girl was a little too old for my tastes.
 
So seeing some of the above... I'm curious. So I'm finally meeting up with someone this week, but it's not a date. Should I be flirting at all? Or maybe it is a date but I'm so lost on this stuff.
 
So seeing some of the above... I'm curious. So I'm finally meeting up with someone this week, but it's not a date. Should I be flirting at all? Or maybe it is a date but I'm so lost on this stuff.
Sure, it's natural to flirt with people even if you are not interested. What do you guys have planned?
 
You must be such a nice guy!

Tell us more about how good you are and how she should like you.

I know right lol

care to explain?

Girl comes to me asking for advice about a guy we both know. I help her, but she gives up and he backs away. My idiot self encourages her to go and talk to him. Everything is fixed.

Problem is, I ended up caring for the girl as more than a friend and badtiminglol.jpg

It's my fault anyway and I know what I did wrong. I talked to her about how I felt and what not to give closure to it. So moving on now, nothing to see here ;)
 
Look up better ways to tie that scarf. And you need a splash of color somewhere.

/fashionista bullshit

Lookin good my man.

Button up some of the bottom buttons, but not the bottom most button, and loosen that scarf a little bit.

Also, a black cardigan and a gray striped v-neck would look great with a colored scarf of some kind too. Monochrome plus a colored accessory is one of my favorite things to do.

Edit: Devo beat me to it!

Thanks, guys! I just kinda flipped the scarf instead of tying it, lol.
 
So seeing some of the above... I'm curious. So I'm finally meeting up with someone this week, but it's not a date. Should I be flirting at all? Or maybe it is a date but I'm so lost on this stuff.

If you fancy yourself a flirtatious person and you're attracted to her then you'll probably naturally do it, but it should be subtle and not and over the top at all. It's a hard thing to verbalize.

Is this a business meeting or something? What was the conversation that got you guys to meet? Where are you going? How do you know each other?

I have been told I'm super funny, personable, great speaker (despite having what some would call a bad voice), and some others I forget. All coming from girls, not guys. I'm also pretty sure I'm not ugly at all but I've been called that before.

And yet, I still lack that ability to fully attract someone. I'm trying to find that missing piece. No whining just finding.

How old are you? Telling yourself that you've found that missing piece might be what you need to get over that hump. I bet you'd find success by a direct approach if people are saying that kind of stuff about you.

Try bantering about your intentions early on in conversations with girls. "oh you shouldn't even be talking to me, I have this tendency to give out my number" kind of thing.
 
If you fancy yourself a flirtatious person and you're attracted to her then you'll probably naturally do it, but it should be subtle and not and over the top at all. It's a hard thing to verbalize.

Is this a business meeting or something? What was the conversation that got you guys to meet? Where are you going? How do you know each other

Met thru an online dating site. We've talked a few times on the phone and she was the one that brought up wanting to meet. So no, it's not a business meeting.
 
You know, I spent so many years hating myself for all the thing I didn't htink I could be do and working so hard to get to a place where I felt good about ymself. But after the everything; the good job, apratment and car it's really just me they always hated. It's been pretty much ten years since since I;ve had a relationship. All the ones that have any interest in me are datingins someon or married or would sleep witgh anyone. All the ones that I care about just don't just a shit, and you can't really hold that aginst them. You can;t hate someone for what they feel. I don't know what thf fuck it is I'm supposed to care about and I really can;t take this shit anymore.
/vent
thx
 
No interest in dating, but I just wanted to pat OP on the back for all those glorious Maiden references.

You ever been to 22 Acacia Avenue for a date, OP?
 
Update on my situation:

-Took a girl to coffee. Time went really well, had some laughs, very positive vibes all around. Got her number, and she said that we should hang out over break and to text her.

-Waited a couple days, then texted her and had some light conversation back and forth, though her replies took hours to get back to me.

-Told her I was playing music at my church and when I did she said she'd want to go to a service the next time I play.

-I told her I'd let her know the next time I'm playing and then I proceeded to invite her to see a movie on what would now be today. That was several days ago. No reply still! I've not sent any follow-up texts or anything, I've just been waiting to see if she says anything.

Should I just wait until the end of the week and if no reply, drop it? Another small detail is... She's foreign, so she doesn't really act like a "typical western girl", if that means anything.
 
If she wants you, she'll talk to you. She won't need a reminder that you exist.

My assumption would be she was/is into you but timing is bad or she's got other options. Don't take it personally.
 
How old are you? Telling yourself that you've found that missing piece might be what you need to get over that hump. I bet you'd find success by a direct approach if people are saying that kind of stuff about you.

Try bantering about your intentions early on in conversations with girls. "oh you shouldn't even be talking to me, I have this tendency to give out my number" kind of thing.

22. I think one of the key issues is that I'm not a very assertive person. I just sort of go with whatever happens and don't take command but I can handle myself if I have to. I never really saw this as any kind of problem but perhaps girls are looking for an aggressive type of guy or they mistake my laid back attitude towards life for something else.
 
Met thru an online dating site. We've talked a few times on the phone and she was the one that brought up wanting to meet. So no, it's not a business meeting.

Go for it then. Have fun!

22. I think one of the key issues is that I'm not a very assertive person. I just sort of go with whatever happens and don't take command but I can handle myself if I have to. I never really saw this as any kind of problem but perhaps girls are looking for an aggressive type of guy or they mistake my laid back attitude towards life for something else.

There's a big difference between being aggressive and assertive, though. Assertive folk are self-sure and they act based upon a belief that their behavior in the given situation is correct. That's really what that blanket term "confidence" means. Aggressive people can do that, but will often simply act out in a way that fixates attention on them. Sometimes it's impossible to tell the difference, especially in the short term.

Sounds like the best thing you could do for yourself is to step outside your comfort zone as consistently as possible. Force yourself to be more assertive in conversations and I'm sure you'll see improvement immediately. Everybody likes an intelligent, funny, personable person around.
 
Update on my situation:

-Took a girl to coffee. Time went really well, had some laughs, very positive vibes all around. Got her number, and she said that we should hang out over break and to text her.

-Waited a couple days, then texted her and had some light conversation back and forth, though her replies took hours to get back to me.

-Told her I was playing music at my church and when I did she said she'd want to go to a service the next time I play.

-I told her I'd let her know the next time I'm playing and then I proceeded to invite her to see a movie on what would now be today. That was several days ago. No reply still! I've not sent any follow-up texts or anything, I've just been waiting to see if she says anything.

Should I just wait until the end of the week and if no reply, drop it? Another small detail is... She's foreign, so she doesn't really act like a "typical western girl", if that means anything.
If she didn't reply back and today was the proposed movie date, I think it would be good to move on. Letting you hang knowing you asked her our today is pretty crappy. How significant is this foreign thing? It's the only part of the equation that I'm unfamiliar with. I can't imagine that she comes from a culture where being rude and unresponsive is normal. Did you set up a firm day when she was going to meet you at your church? If so, let that be the final straw. If she shows up to that then you're still in business.
 
Been going out with my girlfriend for 11 months and a half, and I don't want to be with her forever. But I think she kinda thinks that we're going to be together forever.
I've never been in a long relationship before so I don't really know much about how these things work. But does she actually think we're gonna last forever?

She knows very well that she was my first, and I'm a 20 year old dude. I want to have my fun, I don't want to be tied down for too long. Is it fucked up I feel these things?

How the hell do I go about this.
Do I break up with her now, right around Xmas and our one year?
Or do I wait till after all this so her heart is less broken.
I do love the girl, and there was a time when I felt like she could have been my future, but lately she's kinda fucked that up. But even though she's made mistakes and so have I, she still thinks our relationship is perfect.
This girl wants marriage from me. I don't want that from her. Well I don't eat marriage from anyone right now actually. Way too young for that.

Arghjjhnhnmdeidklevjho
 
If she didn't reply back and today was the proposed movie date, I think it would be good to move on. Letting you hang knowing you asked her our today is pretty crappy. How significant is this foreign thing? It's the only part of the equation that I'm unfamiliar with. I can't imagine that she comes from a culture where being rude and unresponsive is normal. Did you set up a firm day when she was going to meet you at your church? If so, let that be the final straw. If she shows up to that then you're still in business.

Yeah it is a pretty bad feeling, getting no reply after asking her.

I didn't set up a firm date for the church thing, but I was thinking of inviting her to the Christmas service since I'm playing at it next week. But I mean, it'd be kinda weird to be like, "...Anyway, so next week _____!" considering she hasn't even replied, haha.

As for the foreign thing ... I have no clue! She's Korean, and I'm not too familiar with Korean culture and communication. I'm guessing it varies from family to family?

She told me she's not living with her immediate family since they're in Korea and she's in the states, and her parents sounded very controlling from how she described them. Part of me wonders if maybe she has to get her parent's approval before dating anyone? It could be anything, I guess. I'm not Korean so maybe she's not allowed to date me or something. :x
 
bahahahah

drop that shit like its hot and moonwalk away.



do it after the holidays though so you dont look like the grinch.

Never broken up with a girl before. How do I actually do it?

Face to face of course. Do I give her signs that its going to happen (she's been kind of oblivious to any signs) or do I just surprise her with it?
 
Arghjjhnhnmdeidklevjho

I would wait till around January so you don't look like an asshole. But I would just open with the cliché " I don't know if this is gonna work." State your reasons after that and GTFO. It happens sometimes, people just lose interest. Especially when your young.
 
Never broken up with a girl before. How do I actually do it?

Face to face of course. Do I give her signs that its going to happen (she's been kind of oblivious to any signs) or do I just surprise her with it?
That all depends on the type of girl she is. Will giving her clues help her move on, or will it make her cling to you even tighter?
 
I would wait till around January so you don't look like an asshole. But I would just open with the cliché " I don't know if this is gonna work." State your reasons after that and GTFO. It happens sometimes, people just lose interest. Especially when your young.

It makes me real sad thinking about it, because we really have a had a great time. But there's just no reason to tie myself down now. Especially with someone that has many faults.
 
It makes me real sad thinking about it, because we really have a had a great time. But there's just no reason to tie myself down now. Especially with someone that has many faults.

If you put it that way maybe you do wanna be with this girl but you're just not ready to settle down? I still would end it just because i wouldnt wanna make her wait just because i don't wanna settle down yet.
 
22. I think one of the key issues is that I'm not a very assertive person. I just sort of go with whatever happens and don't take command but I can handle myself if I have to. I never really saw this as any kind of problem but perhaps girls are looking for an aggressive type of guy or they mistake my laid back attitude towards life for something else.

Seek your our rhythm instead of going with the flow.
 
My girlfriend gave me a watch as a birthday/Christmas gift. However, the watch she gave me had everything that I didn't like in a watch. It was big (I have small wrists), had a leather bracelet (my current watch has a metal bracelet and I've had it for years), and it had actual numbers instead of lines (which my current watch has).

For a couple of years now, the way me and my GF have done Christmas gifts is that we buy them together so that we can both choose the gifts we want. I wanted to do it a little differently this year so I decided that we buy gifts for each other separately so that the gifts would be a surprise. Seeing as we've been together for years, I didn't expect to receive a gift I didn't actually like at all.

I decided to give back the watch. Yeah, extremely rude I know, and of course she's really pissed off and I understand why she would feel bad, but man, I didn't really like that watch.
I thought returning it was the right thing to do since she could give it to her brother or her dad instead of me accepting it but not using it at all.

Thoughts?
 
My girlfriend gave me a watch as a birthday/Christmas gift. However, the watch she gave me had everything that I didn't like in a watch. It was big (I have small wrists), had a leather bracelet (my current watch has a metal bracelet and I've had it for years), and it had actual numbers instead of lines (which my current watch has).

For a couple of years now, the way me and my GF have done Christmas gifts is that we buy them together so that we can both choose the gifts we want. I wanted to do it a little differently this year so I decided that we buy gifts for each other separately so that the gifts would be a surprise. Seeing as we've been together for years, I didn't expect to receive a gift I didn't actually like at all.

I decided to give back the watch. Yeah, extremely rude I know, and of course she's really pissed off and I understand why she would feel bad, but man, I didn't really like that watch.
I thought returning it was the right thing to do since she could give it to her brother or her dad instead of me accepting it but not using it at all.

Thoughts?

In a world where everyone would think in efficient terms, this would be the best solution. However, we are human beings with emotions. Therefor, I understand completely that your gf is pissed off. Not saying you didn't do the right thing, but I'd feel pissed off as well.
 
In a world where everyone would think in efficient terms, this would be the best solution. However, we are human beings with emotions. Therefor, I understand completely that your gf is pissed off. Not saying you didn't do the right thing, but I'd feel pissed off as well.

Yeah, the bolded part is was what I was going for but as emotions are also involved, her being pissed off was expected. To be honest, I think it could end our relationship based on how bad/hurt I think she felt and because was pissed.
 
As for myself, I do want to point out that at the same time last year... I fit many of those points in the cracked article however, I came to the realization myself after trying to analyze my own situation plus... having a job in sales put me in place mentally. However, I never took the initiative to put myself in such a position to find a mate(granted I have never really been looking). Anyways, for the past 4-5 months I picked up salsa dancing and its completely changed me. Confidence has been at a high point(probably my highest) and there is literally a new group of ladies every 2 months to get to know. Now, I have finally come across someone that makes my heart pound faster. Known her for 3 weeks now and we have only hung around at these salsa social events. Funny thing is that all of my friends from the group say its obvious that we like each other, Ended up getting her number the second week and we have been chatting on and off since then. I am gonna end up seeing her on wednesday because its the final class of the year and she leaves on thursday for 2 weeks. She did ask me to hang out with her saturday night at this latin club when she comes back. Now comes the point where I am unsure of what to do.

Sorry for the wall of text... started with one train of thought and went right into my personal situation ... which does need help cause Id like the relationship to work. Btw she is absolutely beautiful and that is pretty intimidating to me cause I consider myself average looking
 
As for myself, I do want to point out that at the same time last year... I fit many of those points in the cracked article however, I came to the realization myself after trying to analyze my own situation plus... having a job in sales put me in place mentally. However, I never took the initiative to put myself in such a position to find a mate(granted I have never really been looking). Anyways, for the past 4-5 months I picked up salsa dancing and its completely changed me. Confidence has been at a high point(probably my highest) and there is literally a new group of ladies every 2 months to get to know. Now, I have finally come across someone that makes my heart pound faster. Known her for 3 weeks now and we have only hung around at these salsa social events. Funny thing is that all of my friends from the group say its obvious that we like each other, Ended up getting her number the second week and we have been chatting on and off since then. I am gonna end up seeing her on wednesday because its the final class of the year and she leaves on thursday for 2 weeks. She did ask me to hang out with her saturday night at this latin club when she comes back. Now comes the point where I am unsure of what to do.

Sorry for the wall of text... started with one train of thought and went right into my personal situation ... which does need help cause Id like the relationship to work. Btw she is absolutely beautiful and that is pretty intimidating to me cause I consider myself average looking
Her beauty means nothing. She likes you, that much is clear and it seems like you're already set and things are looking good. Come back if there's ever a real problem ;)
 
Her beauty means nothing. She likes you, that much is clear and it seems like you're already set and things are looking good. Come back if there's ever a real problem ;)

haha alright, I guess I would have to do an update if at all in about 2 weeks time. I am just nervous because I haven't been in a relationship in 5 years. However, I think that mostly attributed to me not looking. It definitely helps that I have become awesome at dancing :D
 
As for myself, I do want to point out that at the same time last year... I fit many of those points in the cracked article however, I came to the realization myself after trying to analyze my own situation plus... having a job in sales put me in place mentally. However, I never took the initiative to put myself in such a position to find a mate(granted I have never really been looking). Anyways, for the past 4-5 months I picked up salsa dancing and its completely changed me. Confidence has been at a high point(probably my highest) and there is literally a new group of ladies every 2 months to get to know. Now, I have finally come across someone that makes my heart pound faster. Known her for 3 weeks now and we have only hung around at these salsa social events. Funny thing is that all of my friends from the group say its obvious that we like each other, Ended up getting her number the second week and we have been chatting on and off since then. I am gonna end up seeing her on wednesday because its the final class of the year and she leaves on thursday for 2 weeks. She did ask me to hang out with her saturday night at this latin club when she comes back. Now comes the point where I am unsure of what to do.

Sorry for the wall of text... started with one train of thought and went right into my personal situation ... which does need help cause Id like the relationship to work. Btw she is absolutely beautiful and that is pretty intimidating to me cause I consider myself average looking
Accurate username. This is awesome.
 
met this girl at my gym. got her number, turns out shes about to start working here (with me). she gets hired, and we don't actually work the same shifts or anything. anyways, she tells me shes not looking for anything more than friends. so i'm like, ok, thats fine, and quit talking to her so seriously. then she starts texting me constantly, sending multiple texts if i don't respond to certain things relatively quickly. or she'll say something at the end of the night, when i'm already in bed, so i just ignore it. next morning i wake up to a text saying "i was kidding"...

anyways, then she asks me to come sit in the sauna with her and just shoot the shit. we end up in there for an hour ish, and then go out in the back to cool off. she tried flipping the big tire. (lol) anyways that just ended in a hug.

but wtf does she want? should i straight up ask her?

tl;dr: girl says she wants to be friends, texts me constantly, gets mad when i don't respond quickly enough, wants to sit in the sauna and flirt for an hour.

ps-i forgot to mention she is finalizing her divorce today. shes only 20, and i'm 21. she makes about 36k/year before taxes, i make 8/hour. could she just be using me for emotional support while she figures this divorce thing out?
 
validation for what? the divorce? i've only been texting her for a few weeks, shes been in the middle of divorcing this guy for like 6 months.
I've been saying this for a while but you have to understand that some girls just like having a guy around. The relationship is platonic, don't expect anything to come of it. Either bail now or let her lead you on until you get sick of it.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom