ZackieChan
Member
Yeah, that's usually done it for me, as well. Look at it this way - if the situation is so precarious that asking for a second date 24 hours too soon blows up the whole thing, then the bond wasn't so strong in the first place.
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
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Yeah, that's usually done it for me, as well. Look at it this way - if the situation is so precarious that asking for a second date 24 hours too soon blows up the whole thing, then the bond wasn't so strong in the first place.
What's confusing is why wasn't the bond strong when she was acting so eager and receptive. I've been on lots of of dates and know when ice had a good one.
I've been in situations like this and the best thing I can tell you is, just keep on dating and talking to other people. She may never contact you again, and you'll never know why.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
I think I've begun to hate dating sites. Everything vaguely interesting or promising goes south, the nicer looking girls never reply. My profile's fine, I've tried a variety of approaches when messaging/asking out, something should have stuck by now surely? It's been months since my last date, I'm just sick of this now. I've tried so much to improve my self-confidence and not "needing" a date. It's just naturally depressing, I miss companionship.
Messofanego
Banned
Maybe she's commitment-phobic and is on a casual roll right now. That would explain why she hasn't done anything past that first day.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
The nature of the market - for want of a better word - is completely broken in online dating. It is far better to meet people through friends and parties or anywhere non-digital.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
Yeah that'd be great, my friends seem hesitant to match-make though haha. I go to bars and stuff but the average age round here seems to be in the high fourties... man I can't remember the last party we went to
My friend's dating a girl and we went out with her friends, all of which were taken. Just not meant to be for now it seems!
So I'm really bad at flirting via message so I need gaf help.
Sent a girl on POF a first message about trying a busking date with a girl. Asking if it would be a good idea. She was a fun girl and I got an almost immediate response. It seemed flirty she made a joke about hoping your date was a good singer.
I then responded with a joke about meeting on a rainy day because everyone can sing in the shower. She replied with a one word answer (totally) so I thought I was doing well. (Was I really?) so I said that if she knew anyone who was interested that I'd love to hear from them. The. Radio silence.
Did I overplay my hand? Was she ever interested? Thoughts
Sent a girl on POF a first message about trying a busking date with a girl. Asking if it would be a good idea. She was a fun girl and I got an almost immediate response. It seemed flirty she made a joke about hoping your date was a good singer.
I then responded with a joke about meeting on a rainy day because everyone can sing in the shower. She replied with a one word answer (totally) so I thought I was doing well. (Was I really?) so I said that if she knew anyone who was interested that I'd love to hear from them. The. Radio silence.
Did I overplay my hand? Was she ever interested? Thoughts
There is no tipping in the UK with pubs though.
She's not like it with my other mates and she'd have literally nothing to gain by being friendly to me specifically.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
To be entirely honest I prefer bars over pubs. Pubs seem to be full of really old people and aren't as lively.
Fudgepuppy
Banned
GAF, I need you to explain a situation for me, as a guy who hasn't dated at all.
So I met this girl at work, we talked once or twice during lunch and I felt immediately like she and I could talk for hours. She also seemed interested.
Last thursday, I text her asking what she's doing. She replies that she's helping her friend move and asks what I have in mind. I ask if she wants to go out and grab a beer. She says she would love to but that she was busy that day. But she immediately asked if we could go out on saturday instead.
We go out, have a lovely but slightly stiff time. Then at the way home, things start flowing a lot better, as we had basically left the stage of me only asking her questions, it instead became completely free flowing.
We get outside of my apartment, I ask her if she wants to come in and watch a movie. She says yes.
We start watching Cabin in the Woods, as both of us love it. We talk throughout the entire movie, going into deeper conversations about our families and past. I put my arm on her back, and she doesn't flinch, move away or anything. We continue talking.
At the end of the movie, I ask if she wants to see another movie, and she replies immediately "I was just about to ask you if we could".
We start watching The Fly, my arm now completely around her, stroking her shoulder. We continue talking, laughing and having fun.
Then when I tell her I have to work today, she sounds sad, but I say I'm okay no matter how much I sleep. She says there's no tram left and that she's gonna have to take a cab. I offer to walk her home, then I offer for her to sleep at my place. She says no because it would be weird.
Sounds like it's getting worse? Yeah.
We walk home, talk. We get outside her apartment, and I say "I really like you". She says that she doesn't want to lead me on, that she had a long relationship with her ex and that she just wants to focus on herself. I say that's completely fine and that she's not obligated to do anything. She says I'm probably the manliest person she has ever met, as I was honest and told her straight away how I felt.
I walk home, bit sad but feeling proud still.
Then, THEN! I get home, and she sends me a text message that reads:
"Fudgepuppy, I had an awesome time this night and I really like you as well. So let's just see how things will go. I just don't want to rush into anything as I told you. You're a really great guy. I can feel it. I don't only think that way. So let's just go with the flow and see what comes next
".
And ever since then, we've been flirting a lot on phone, she asked me out on a date tomorrow, if we could eat or watch a movie together, perhaps at her place. Then she said that she was really happy as her mother is visiting on tuesday, but also because she gets to meet me tomorrow.
So here I am, completely smitten with a woman who basically says that she likes me as well, and yet I'm so confused as to what happened. One second she's responding to all my advances, the next second she says no, and then all seconds after that, she talks about how much she likes me, how much I make her laugh and how fun she has with me.
Tl;Dr: Met girl, seemed to like me, then says she doesn't want anything, the next second she says she really likes me and wants to be with me.
I'm not worried or obsessing really, I'm just slightly confused as a guy who has little experience with relationships.
So I met this girl at work, we talked once or twice during lunch and I felt immediately like she and I could talk for hours. She also seemed interested.
Last thursday, I text her asking what she's doing. She replies that she's helping her friend move and asks what I have in mind. I ask if she wants to go out and grab a beer. She says she would love to but that she was busy that day. But she immediately asked if we could go out on saturday instead.
We go out, have a lovely but slightly stiff time. Then at the way home, things start flowing a lot better, as we had basically left the stage of me only asking her questions, it instead became completely free flowing.
We get outside of my apartment, I ask her if she wants to come in and watch a movie. She says yes.
We start watching Cabin in the Woods, as both of us love it. We talk throughout the entire movie, going into deeper conversations about our families and past. I put my arm on her back, and she doesn't flinch, move away or anything. We continue talking.
At the end of the movie, I ask if she wants to see another movie, and she replies immediately "I was just about to ask you if we could".
We start watching The Fly, my arm now completely around her, stroking her shoulder. We continue talking, laughing and having fun.
Then when I tell her I have to work today, she sounds sad, but I say I'm okay no matter how much I sleep. She says there's no tram left and that she's gonna have to take a cab. I offer to walk her home, then I offer for her to sleep at my place. She says no because it would be weird.
Sounds like it's getting worse? Yeah.
We walk home, talk. We get outside her apartment, and I say "I really like you". She says that she doesn't want to lead me on, that she had a long relationship with her ex and that she just wants to focus on herself. I say that's completely fine and that she's not obligated to do anything. She says I'm probably the manliest person she has ever met, as I was honest and told her straight away how I felt.
I walk home, bit sad but feeling proud still.
Then, THEN! I get home, and she sends me a text message that reads:
"Fudgepuppy, I had an awesome time this night and I really like you as well. So let's just see how things will go. I just don't want to rush into anything as I told you. You're a really great guy. I can feel it. I don't only think that way. So let's just go with the flow and see what comes next
".And ever since then, we've been flirting a lot on phone, she asked me out on a date tomorrow, if we could eat or watch a movie together, perhaps at her place. Then she said that she was really happy as her mother is visiting on tuesday, but also because she gets to meet me tomorrow.
So here I am, completely smitten with a woman who basically says that she likes me as well, and yet I'm so confused as to what happened. One second she's responding to all my advances, the next second she says no, and then all seconds after that, she talks about how much she likes me, how much I make her laugh and how fun she has with me.
Tl;Dr: Met girl, seemed to like me, then says she doesn't want anything, the next second she says she really likes me and wants to be with me.
I'm not worried or obsessing really, I'm just slightly confused as a guy who has little experience with relationships.
Alright, at this point, I really have to ask: On OKCupid, why do so many people from the Philippines visit my profile (and sometimes also message me)? There's at least three per week. I live in Austria. I have never been to the Philippines. The only thing these users seem to have in common is a relatively low match rate with me (<40%). I don't get it.
Fudgepuppy
Banned
Lots of white men in Scandinavia, get with women from the Philippines. Wouldn't surprise me if these are girls that want to get out of there and go to a more western country.
Yeah, that's probably it. There's a lot of guys as well.
A few visitors were from Saudia Arabia and Indonesia, but the vast majority were from the Philippines.
Bananajama
Banned
Just had my first date in 9 years
It went well - I got a second....dunno how!
Relationship blues still on me but doing my best to hide it
It went well - I got a second....dunno how!
Relationship blues still on me but doing my best to hide it
haha I'm not really a Do It kind of guy though i aim to be more spontaneous.
I guess I'm seeking answers and validation over every little thing because I understand very little about dating right now. it's a strange world, the only dates was with someone who turned out to be a friend with benefit so I imagine it's going to be very different when I have an actual date...
ZackieChan
Member
Women generally like a "Do It" kind of guy.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Probably just took her a while to realise the hangups of the last relationship weren't affecting her anymore. Sounds really good!
Etrian Oddity
Member
So this girl I've gone out with a few times will only give me the gimpy one-armed side hug when I go to say bye.. then I see her male friends and coworkers get a full proper hug.
Uh, yeah... next.
Uh, yeah... next.
Adam_Roman
Member
Do those of you who use Tinder delete and remake your accounts much? I stopped using it for a year until this past March. I've been checking it regularly, but I started to realize communication and new matches were slowing, and since I've lost some weight I remade my profile with newer photos today. It feels good to start fresh.
I feel like I should do this it seems to be buggy AF.
I get about 10 people in a day, besides that it just searches for people...
eyeball_kid
Member
I didn't see any part where she 'wants to be with you', but she's obviously enjoying her time with you, and also made it clear that she doesn't want to rush things. Because you don't generally want to say you really like someone on your first date. It can be a bit intense for the other person. You have to ease into those kinds of statements.
But she is digging you, so just enjoy her company, respect her desire to take things slow, and see where things go. Good luck!
Set up tinder and okcupid accounts again
https://m.okcupid.com/profile/tylerldr?cf=home_orbits
Been less than a day, so I'm hoping it's still got its magic
https://m.okcupid.com/profile/tylerldr?cf=home_orbits
Been less than a day, so I'm hoping it's still got its magic
Fudgepuppy
Banned
Only a comatose person would not have gotten that I like her.
Also, as said, she said how refreshing and impressed she was with my honesty. She's said afterwards how she feels like she can open herself to me and feel safe with me.
I'm not trying to be difficult, it's just there isn't a whole lot going on in this area and I'm at a loss.
I can try the drinks, just wish there was a decent bar here.
ZackieChan
Member
Are you on a Mars colony, space station, or trapped in a well or something?
Exactly why you should do it. Making a fool of yourself by being bad is a great way of opening up and connecting with someone. Since you'll both be terrible, you can laugh at eachother. Also hold hands to keep your balance together.
No, just Cape Breton, Nova Scotia. But it's close.
Looking online it doesn't appear any of the rinks have an open skate in the evening on weekdays, and I'm not spending $200 to book the ice.
Lionheart1827
Member
Dude the ice skating thing is exactly why you should do it. Like Jokab said, being silly together is a bonding experience. If you guys are falling and slippin around together trying to hang on to eachother and laughing, thats a great combo. You want physical contact, and you want laughter. Definitely look into it, unless she is a miserable person that doesnt want to have fun and laugh
Oh damn. There's gotta be more stuff to do. I would say dinner if you just got some ice cream as first date.
smallish town, older population though.
Guess that's what I'll try, and see what she says.
The only other place I really know of is the casino but it's predominantly populated by old folks until Friday/Saturday nights.
Like I said I don't live here anymore, haven't for years, so I'm almost as unfamiliar with social areas as she is.
ZackieChan
Member
I think he lives in a post-apocalyptic prison colony.
If you don't live there, why not go somewhere else? Have her meet you where you live, if it's a more interesting place to go.
Macadinho94
Member
Why not head out of town and go hiking/ have a picnic etc. Nova Scotia's on the coast right (My geography is limited in that part of the world) so why not go to the beach?
ZackieChan
Member
Or Google it - http://www.novascotia.com/about-nov...o-nova-scotia-you-might-not-have-even-thought
There's even a comedy club on there.
There's even a comedy club on there.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Absolutely agree with this. Very good idea (speaking from experience)
These are the things you are good at? Really? Not getting sick?!
There's nothing exciting there!
Also, you are a pretty handsome guy. TAKE BETTER PICTURES. Your first one you are wearing a far too big shirt (not to mention the colour/tie combo!), the second is good, third is grainy and worthless, four just seems a bit awkward? The raw materials are great, you just need to show them off!
Well its like 12 C currently, and she is only available in the evenings and shes gone this weekend. A hike in the afternoon would probably be good but she won't be around.
Maybe after drinks we can go for a walk along the waterfront boardwalk, if things are going ok.
There is lots to do in Nova Scotia in general but we can't go for a 4 hour drive to get to Halifax (where that comedy club is). Everything is spread out or concentrated in Halifax
ZackieChan
Member
Then just go get dinner and hang out and watch a movie.
Pasta_Soup
Member
Your profile is currently super boring and generic, and doesn't convey any kind of uniqueness about who you are as a person or what you can offer a potential partner. You surely have some great qualities, and you want to present these in a strong, confident and fun manner.
A few quick suggestions:
- Instill some humor throughout. Rather than just listing a standard fact about yourself, make a joke about it or use sarcasm to imply things about yourself.
- Your "favorites" section has literally nothing in it. You're basically saying "I almost never partake in media entertainment and have no interest in any of it."
- The "6 things" section shouldn't be a boring list like this. Even if you don't list 6 things, this needs to be humorous or interesting.
- Drop any instances where you use the phrase "looking for love". It just adds an unnecessary element of pressure to potential suitors.
You want your profile to be enticing. If you were reading a woman's profile that had cliched responses like all of these, would you be interested in her? Not trying to be harsh, just want to see you succeed!
Also, take War Peaceman's advice on getting better pictures. You look stiff, rigid, and uncomfortable in the pictures that are actually readable.
eyeball_kid
Member
You asked for an explanation and I'm trying to explain. The thought process of women is not a binary situation. She may say that she likes your honesty, but she also said she doesn't want to rush into anything. She's basically trying to say, "I really like you and appreciate the honesty, but don't come on to me too strong, too quickly." She said she got out of a long relationship, so she may not be totally ready for something else, but she likes you enough to try.
I know you're excited about this woman, but please just try to follow the signals she gives you. For instance, you said "things sounded worse" when you invited her to sleep over and she declined. There's nothing bad about her saying no. Most women won't sleep over on a first date or second date for that matter unless they're looking for a one-night hookup. There are exceptions, but it's not something you should expect.
Gonna grab a friend and take better pictures tonight...and gonna get some feed back on my editing. I'll post something else tonight
I appreciate the feedback, that's why I posted it. I want advice so I can succeed
Edit...I think I saw both of your profiles...which one are you?
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Good good! I was worried you might be a little offended by what I said, was only trying to be constructive.
I was logged out earlier, but I just looked at yours again, Im the uk guy
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