Not going to the gym today. work sucked and i want to avoid that guy if even for a day. sigh.
I failed all my public speaking presentations in college. I always got worked up on people looking at my fat.
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
- Start date
- Status
Not going to the gym today. work sucked and i want to avoid that guy if even for a day. sigh.
I failed all my public speaking presentations in college. I always got worked up on people looking at my fat.
Dr_Boris_Goltz
Banned
Oh man, coming off Prozac and getting on Wellbutrin is--excuse the lowbrow vernacular--weird as fuck.
I feel exhausted but wide awake, both energetic and happy BUT ALSO contemplative and morose!
I went from sleeping all day to being awake to the point that my body gave up the need to blink.
My new psych said I would feel really shitty for a week, but I didn't expect this!
Edit: I swear... my teeth fucking hurt and it's gotta be because of this. I think my brain is just firing off random feelings and sensations because it doesn't know what else to do with itself.
I feel exhausted but wide awake, both energetic and happy BUT ALSO contemplative and morose!
I went from sleeping all day to being awake to the point that my body gave up the need to blink.
My new psych said I would feel really shitty for a week, but I didn't expect this!
Edit: I swear... my teeth fucking hurt and it's gotta be because of this. I think my brain is just firing off random feelings and sensations because it doesn't know what else to do with itself.
I've started to use exercise as an almost self-punishment. Like, when I'm out bike riding and see a big hill, I force myself to ride out of spite for myself even though when I get to the top my heart feels like it's going to explode. This is probably a fucked up way at looking at exercise, but it's been working so far to help me push myself past my usual comfort-zone.
As long as you're not hurting yourself it's the best way to get your metabolism up and it makes you feel (mentally) great after (aside from pain).
ClassyPenguin
Banned
Bel Marduk
Banned
Not true at all... People will miss you on this very thread.
Collete
Member
Sunday? The world broke my heart ten ways in the last few hours.
Not many, so what's it even matter?
Bel Marduk
Banned
Come to the chat.. lets talk about this, bro.
When I'm depressed, there's a place I always go to walk and sit. It's a public place, but I usually go at like 4am so there's no one there. Tonight I went at 10:30 and while I was sitting there two girls ran up to it acting giggly and stuff. It was surreal to have "my place" encroached on like that. I'm not mad or anything, it's a public place. It was just weird.
Collete
Member
I can't even get into the chat again because my internet sucks...*sigh* Today's just not a good day...
Bel Marduk
Banned
There's an abandoned amusement park not too far from here that closed down about ten years ago. It was called Splendid China and its beautiful. Its got giant Buddha statues and a (small) replica of the great wall. There are pagodas everywhere and decaying buildings. Next to it is a large mesa where you can see the whole thing. I like to go there and think.. and blaze.
Collete
Member
Collete
Member
Good work. You got this, man.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Lets take down that bastard weight!
Well, I think I feel a little better right now, hope my effort will pay back
blame space
Banned
.
Is the site not loading for anyone else?
That's the spirit! You know, if you actually do it, I promise I'll go back again too next Monday.
If you're being serious now, is there something you want to talk about? Maybe in private?
blame space
Banned
sorry everyone. carry on.
Collete
Member
I don't know but I gave up. It's fine....It doesn't matter anymore....not for me.
...Please tell me you're not trying to mock people? If it is, you have no place here. Unless you're actually in need of help, that is definitely not the way to go out of it.
Same boat... nothing matters in the end if you're just going to die someday. If you're suffering, I don't get why you should have to prolong it. But that's just me (and I see the glass as half empty, pessimist yada yada).
I wasn't telling you that, I was asking because you already came to troll this thread once. Now I am telling you that you're not being serious.
Please don't say these things, Oomi. Don't give up the fight.
Here's a little song I'd like you to hear: "It's gonna get better" - Genesis. Yes, it's too cliché now. I don't know if things are gonna get better. I don't. But I believe it's worth it to keep living and see if they do. And if, in the end, you still think the message is bullshit, at least you have listened to a good song
Same thing I said to Oomi: to find out if the suffering ever stops. To see if you discover something you end up liking, if your life starts getting better somewhere down the line. To be honest, I'm skeptical myself, but I don't want to give up. We shouldn't let this fucking depression win.
You actually are welcome here, same as anyone else. Or you can appear in chat if this damages the blame space brand too much.
*not defending trolling of the thread. That crap is never acceptable*
Going through a similar situation like this with my mother.
It's so frustrating and stressful most of the time.
I bought a homeless guy lunch the other day. He asked for change and I offered to get him something from Subway instead.
I didn't do it because I wanted to feel good about myself. I just did it because he looked hungry.
I should feel good about myself when I do things like that, though, right? But I don't. I can easily think up a dozen things I've done that I'm ashamed of and beat myself up over them and make myself feel miserable, but I'm unable to do the opposite with the good things I've done.
I don't understand why.
I didn't do it because I wanted to feel good about myself. I just did it because he looked hungry.
I should feel good about myself when I do things like that, though, right? But I don't. I can easily think up a dozen things I've done that I'm ashamed of and beat myself up over them and make myself feel miserable, but I'm unable to do the opposite with the good things I've done.
I don't understand why.
Poor self-esteem and overly critical attitude towards oneself. I know the feel because I deal with it myself.
I will miss you. I absolutely will.
I want to post in here more often. I'll get back to it soon. My job has been absolutely destroying my desire to engage in much of anything recently. I'm quitting in a week. Girlfriend and parents have noticed me getting distant and sad.
I've found some new mindfulness and meditation techniques and books that I want to share. But I pulled a muscle in my left hand and can only type with one right now. So...not now.
I love you all.
But you love some of us more than others, right? Right?!
You've likely heard this before, but at least give life-post-high-school a shot. High school is such a universally shitty place that it becomes a literal insult from one adult to another: "What is this, high school?"
Hang in there. I mean, the Oculus Rift is coming soon! That's way too awesome to miss.
Waking up with anxiety is always fun, right? Today will suck. I'm off school and I guess I should try to do some calculus work, but I don't understand it. *sigh* Another day of not bring productive and feeling like crap, yay!
If Oculus Rift will be the future of gaming, I wouldn't mind missing it. Personally I think it looks stupid.
If Oculus Rift will be the future of gaming, I wouldn't mind missing it. Personally I think it looks stupid.
Dear Neo Gaffe Depression Thread,
Part of my psychology project involves me surveying a bunch of people, like going up to them and asking them to do a survey. I am very shy, awkward and socially inept, therefore this isn't going well ( either because of my procrastination or awkwardness when asking, people saying no, etc). I have to survey 50 people, I've only got like 11 done and I just don't have the strength to continue.
My question: How would you all go about faking this? The survey is in the form of a piece of paper that people have to do, all of which have to be turned in with a psychological paper. please help.
Love,
Antroid
Part of my psychology project involves me surveying a bunch of people, like going up to them and asking them to do a survey. I am very shy, awkward and socially inept, therefore this isn't going well ( either because of my procrastination or awkwardness when asking, people saying no, etc). I have to survey 50 people, I've only got like 11 done and I just don't have the strength to continue.
My question: How would you all go about faking this? The survey is in the form of a piece of paper that people have to do, all of which have to be turned in with a psychological paper. please help.
Love,
Antroid
malingenie
Member
Don't fake it!
One of my best experiences were all those things in my Psychology undergraduate that forced me to fight my shyness. I too was (and am) very shy, but having to do oral presentations, patient interviews, and surveys made me a stronger person. I know every man is an island, but I am 99% confident that you will be much better if you try this!
it may not be be easy and it may not get easy for a while, but you owe yourself a shot!
Bel Marduk
Banned
Don't fake it! Does it have to be filled out by hand? If not, I'll do your survey.
Thanks for the reply. I am aware that I could grow if I pushed through this, but I really just need to get this done so I can focus on other stuff. I have a couple others papers due in the next few weeks. I was planning on having everyone surveyed by Saturday... didn't quite work out like that lol. If I had the time to progress in small bits I'd totally approach it like that.
It does, but that information would be more accurate than if I just faked it.
Okay, so I worked up the courage to ask another group of people. They declined, of course.
I think I'm realizing that I just painted myself into a corner by choosing a topic that I liked, that many people hate (math). The survey is about how people perceive their math skills, eventually leading to a paper that talks about differences between men and women in that area. Those who would want to talk about it would dilute the survey ( I.e. people who like math). Those who don't obviously will opt to not take it. I feel like I'm fucked. I don't have the strength to do this as much times to get the results I need.
Fake edit: luckily, just talked to teacher and she said I don't have to do college students and I can also have others hand them out for me. Saved.
I think I'm realizing that I just painted myself into a corner by choosing a topic that I liked, that many people hate (math). The survey is about how people perceive their math skills, eventually leading to a paper that talks about differences between men and women in that area. Those who would want to talk about it would dilute the survey ( I.e. people who like math). Those who don't obviously will opt to not take it. I feel like I'm fucked. I don't have the strength to do this as much times to get the results I need.
Fake edit: luckily, just talked to teacher and she said I don't have to do college students and I can also have others hand them out for me. Saved.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
I've spent most of the past two weeks just laying in bed and can't figure out what initiative it's going to take for me to start caring about anything again.
School?
Come on! You can go forward. I know you can. Think about your possibilities and plan your next moves.
Man, I know the felling all too well. It really sucks..I lost more than one job because of it. (That and alcohol, which I don't take anymore)
Used to take anti-depressant (Effexor) but didn't do much. Then my doctor prescribed me some Methylphenidate (Ritalin) and, HOLY shit, the difference is huge. I have much less problem with procrastination and doing stuff I don't feel like doing. More motivation overall.
I don't want to sound like a pill pusher but the difference it made for me is incredible. Medication is not for everyone but it can help, you just have to find the right one.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
Medication isn't a viable option for me, unfortunately. That's pretty much why my depression has been such an on-going problem for nearly 20 years.
I lost my job recently (laid off) and finished school back in March, so I don't have many reasons to get out of bed right now. I just eat and eat and eat and sleep.
I lost my job recently (laid off) and finished school back in March, so I don't have many reasons to get out of bed right now. I just eat and eat and eat and sleep.
I'm not at school today, but I don't know. That could be it, but it doesn't seem likely. Just woke up anxious, and the anxiety is still here with me 5 hours later. It's really getting in the way of my concentration (attempting to do some calculus work... it's no use).
Wow, never really looked through this thread until today. I recently have been suffering through some kind of weird depression. My wife is finishing up her masters to be a therapist and somehow along the way the stuff she learned and we talked about caused a lot of buried things I had inside to come to the surface. I had a very thick layer of denial and I don't know exactly why but it disappeared and it caused my life to basically flip upside down.
It was like my entire way of being has shifted and I am outside of myself, seeing myself for the first time. One would think that having to be honest with yourself would be a really good thing and I think maybe in the long run it will be but right now I am struggling to put myself back together, I am not sure what makes me happy anymore as I realize I was never really happy before, I was only convincing myself I was.
I still have happy moments but the swings are really intense and when I get down I get really down. Over the last year or so I have become much less social than I ever have been in my entire life. I am bordering on reclusive these days as I find social interaction difficult, tedious and unenjoyable.
My wife highlighted a part of the book she is currently reading and it struck a major chord with me and my recent struggles.
Mostly the latter part, I just don't feel like anything is real... I feel like my entire life is lacking substance and I don't have the slightest clue on how to fix it or what to do.
Anyway sorry for the ramble but I don't really have anyone to talk to about it besides my wife and since she is a therapist she usually tries to help me more than listen to me ( which isn't her fault I realize she feels guilty but I would rather face a horrible truth than live a lie)
It was like my entire way of being has shifted and I am outside of myself, seeing myself for the first time. One would think that having to be honest with yourself would be a really good thing and I think maybe in the long run it will be but right now I am struggling to put myself back together, I am not sure what makes me happy anymore as I realize I was never really happy before, I was only convincing myself I was.
I still have happy moments but the swings are really intense and when I get down I get really down. Over the last year or so I have become much less social than I ever have been in my entire life. I am bordering on reclusive these days as I find social interaction difficult, tedious and unenjoyable.
My wife highlighted a part of the book she is currently reading and it struck a major chord with me and my recent struggles.
Mostly the latter part, I just don't feel like anything is real... I feel like my entire life is lacking substance and I don't have the slightest clue on how to fix it or what to do.
Anyway sorry for the ramble but I don't really have anyone to talk to about it besides my wife and since she is a therapist she usually tries to help me more than listen to me ( which isn't her fault I realize she feels guilty but I would rather face a horrible truth than live a lie)
Same here. I have classes again next week though, but it's extremely exhausting. I have no energy at all and anything I try to do completely drains me.
I think I do have plenty of energy though but my depression and anxiety are taking up all of it.
I really need to start taking medication (quit taking Zoloft a year ago) and I want to try Paxil but I have to wait at least two weeks to get an appointment with a psychiatrist. I still have a month's worth of Zoloft from last year, could I start taking that for a few weeks and then immediately switch to Paxil?
Collete
Member
Why would I even bother staying right now then?...
malingenie
Member
Alright! Crisis averted! Good luck in your studies, my undergrad and masters were the most stressful parts of my life. But also indubitably the most rewarding ones.
SpartanForce
Member
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzcpUdBw7gs
This song gives me back strange memories. Bad, traumatic memories... It's been 13 years and is still on my mind sometimes. I guess being victim of child rape continuously for months never goes away from your mind, no matter the time passed. I still have flashs... and I'm taking an AD for PTSD (sertraline).
This song gives me back strange memories. Bad, traumatic memories... It's been 13 years and is still on my mind sometimes. I guess being victim of child rape continuously for months never goes away from your mind, no matter the time passed. I still have flashs... and I'm taking an AD for PTSD (sertraline).
I didn't mean "you" as in you, oomi. I just meant it as a general "you", but mostly I was applying it to me. Sorry.
- Status