Yeah, really, seek professional help.
My Grandfather is in his late eighties now, and has been depressed on and off throughout his life. The weirdest thing is though, when he isn't depressed, he is the most funniest, charismatic man you will ever meet. At parties and special occasions he'll write funny poems and generally joke around, he's the life of the party. I actually have a poem he wrote (and performed) for my 18th framed on my wall. I absolutely adore him, so it's night and day when he goes through one of his bouts. He gets put on medication, but this means he can't drink or eat too much, and he loves his food and drink. He won't accept psychiatric help, because being older he's rather set in his ways and I think the whole stress and stigma of that would just send him further down. When we were younger, it always used to be half-understood by me and my siblings, we just thought he was in a bad mood. He's been generally fine until about a year ago. He got really bad and OD'd on pain killers and whiskey. You never want to say in that situation "He was trying to kill himself", but well. You tell me. And honestly that was heart-breaking, to think of what may have been. Your life might be not what you want it to be right now, but imagine the alternative.
I will say this, don't shut out your family. Because the worst thing is when depressed, you push away your relatives and friends. And that hurts them, as well as you. They could be helping you get better, even though the last thing you might feel like is company. I absolutely sympathise, and I have to tut at anyone who writes off depression as just being "sad". It's so much more than that, and I really hope you get through this. And again, nothing I can say on this message board, nothing anybody can say will truly make it right for you, because you can't just tell someone to be happy. That's not how it works. I would say, initially, medication can help. But my Grandfather takes his medication, and it only keeps him steady. It doesn't make him neccesarily better. Counselling I would say, would do a lot more. All the medication does is alter your emotions chemically, it can't alter the situations or people around you, or the way you choose to live your life.
But remember, it's okay to be down sometimes, without sounding like Dr. Phil. It sounds like you've gone through a very rough patch in your life, and I'd be a little disturbed if you were ecstatic about it. I think I probably speak for everyone in this thread when I say I wish you will take a turn for the better, but I implore you to seek help from those around you. If you don't have any close friends, make some. You are 24 years of age man. People have turned their lives around decades after you. You are young, you're alive, and you can obviously think. That's a brilliant thing, and without being crass, there are many in worse situations than yourself. I know it's a cliche, and does nothing to further your own personal situation, but it's the truth.
Anyway, nobody can tell you what to do. It is your life, and the choice to keep on living it or end it ultimately remains with you. You have that power, but like I said, as a guy who can think, think for the better, don't throw it away. Your life can be redeemed, and it's not wasted anyway. You've got life experience. Horrible experience, yeah, but something you can work with, and ultimately work away from to live the opposite.
EDIT: I realise the OP posted over two years ago. Feel silly now, but yeah, above is my personal experience with depression.
