ThisWreckage
Banned
I had a scary thought the other day that has more validity to it than I feared: I will always be a chronically disappointed person and I will never learn what being satisfied actually means.
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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I had a scary thought the other day that has more validity to it than I feared: I will always be a chronically disappointed person and I will never learn what being satisfied actually means.
scar tissue
Banned
Yeah, I can somewhat relate to that. I know that I made huge progress in the last 3 years, but on an emotional level, I cannot appreciate it or even be remotely satisfied with it.
Although I like to think that the fact that I'm still a virgin pretty much justifies my disappointment. How the fuck does one manage to not get laid at university?
SpaceBridge
Member
This is me right now in life since I've been out of work. Been applying and very little feedback. I stay home so I don't spend money that I'm quickly running out of. Started selling off my precious game collection online to make extra cash to pay for my bills. I'm too embarrassed to ask my family for help so I suffer in silence. I'm up until 6 am reading the Internet and sleep till noon. Wake up and rinse repeat.
ThisWreckage
Banned
I can relate. This is going to sound vain, but I think it bothers me more that I'm good looking and not getting steady action (or any, for that matter) than it would if I were actually unattractive. I feel like Tantalus.
scar tissue
Banned
This x1000
I like to think I'm a rather attractive guy, at the very least I'm way more attractive than many guys who get laid on a regular basis. Hell, I've seen downright ugly or fat guys pull quality pussy.
And I'm pretty sure I'm a more interesting person than the average guy. At least that's what I gather from the feedback from my peers.
And I can't even get laid ONCE. Fuck me.
The oldest whine in the book
(I suffered from it as well until I decided to live my life instead of almost living it)scar tissue
Banned
The oldest whine in the book
Were it that easy. It's mostly the social anxiety.
I do everything to combat it: therapy, saying yes to every opportunity for socializing, doing presentations, and so on. Doesn't help that much, so far.
Nevertheless, I actually had 3 or 4 surefire chances at getting laid in the last two years, but I just couldn't do it. When it comes to making an actual move, I'm paralyzed.
Buddha Beam
Banned
This is basically what finally caused me to get over my constant feelings of depression a few years ago. I'm still prone to the occasional cratering of my self esteem and optimism, mind you... but one day I just... got tired of it. Truly, undeniably sick and tired of that internal fighting and putting up a guard. So I just let it drop and became more of a "whatever happens, happens" kind of guy.
It was really liberating for me in so many respects. I'm a lot more open to just taking things as they are nowadays.
I'm not sure if that helps anyone, though... It felt like, to me, it was a place that I had to arrive at organically. Maybe because at heart I'm a pretty laid back (or lazy, if you prefer) person.
ThisWreckage
Banned
Women have told me repeatedly that I'm intimidating. It's quite possibly the worst trait to have.
scar tissue
Banned
I dunno, some women like to have physically intimidating boyfriends, possibly for the safety bonus they provide?
Are you a huge, towering giant of a man, or do they mean intimidating in terms of personality? Because the latter probably really isn't a good trait to have. A girl needs to feel comfortable around you.
You'll be fine if you genuinely are a nice guy and keep trying, keep it up!
ThisWreckage
Banned
They're referring to my intellect. I'm well read and very opinionated. I am no genius, but I'm smart enough to bother them. That's all that really matters, I suppose.
sonikokaruto
Banned
Been trying to sleep for 4 hours. Feel like shot that my SO is being an asshole to me, fucking amazing to then go to bed, she's on a different sheet cover (protection?) I ask her if it doesn't bother her when I move and she says no, it's actually almost perfect. The sheet under it is the fucking mattress. Also her brother just came in and started banging his chick. Fucking awesome, I've been at this for fucking 7 years and haven't gotten fucking anything I'm so angry and sad and then afraid and then angry again and this has happened several times, and every time it happens I just feel like fuking dirt, dont wanna work, don't wanna do anything but lie wherever I fall on
Edit: I really don't know if this is depression or if am just being a fucking pussy or both. Sorry I'm not even sure this might be depressing or non important, you can ignore it if you want, I don't care, been ignore everywhere all my fcking life and had wouldn't be the first or the last.
Edit: I really don't know if this is depression or if am just being a fucking pussy or both. Sorry I'm not even sure this might be depressing or non important, you can ignore it if you want, I don't care, been ignore everywhere all my fcking life and had wouldn't be the first or the last.
A screen so easy even an Orthopod can do it: SIG E CAPS
Sleep (too much, too little)
Interest decreased in activities (anhedonia)
Guilt or worthlessness (Not a major criteria)
Energy decreased
Concentration difficulties
Appetite disturbance or weight loss
Psychomotor retardation/agitation
Suicidal thoughts
How many symptoms have you experienced in the past two weeks?
sonikokaruto
Banned
Like 3 times? It depends on the month week. Sometimes more sometimes less. Work is a fucking pain in the ass when you're feeling like shit. But I'd say more than usual
Does anyone here struggle with hypochondria? I've been doing okay emotionally but any time I have a hypochondriac episode it totally destroys whatever emotional progress I've made. Part of my mind being convinced that I have some kind of horrible disease, as irrational as it is, can pretty much leave me curled up in a dark room for days at a time.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
I sort of know this, but I'm still not sure if I'm ugly or if I just have a terrible personality is the reason I haven't ever been in a relationship. I juggle between the two regularly. Social anxiety doesn't help either, I'm getting better I think though.
njean777
Member
That was me yesterday, although near the end of the night that feeling went away. Some days are really hard
Yes. I hate smoking to this day. (Although once a year I'll get really, really drunk and chain-smoke like half a pack. Then, the next day I'll want to die. Good times.)
Believe me, I used to think the same, but once it happened I realised that not, it doesn't help at all. Well, it actually does during some time, but if you spend long enough without contact with another woman (or man, if that's your preference) you'll end up depressed again, and thinking you'll never find another person who wants to be with you. Or maybe that's just me, and I have no way of ever being happy and satisfied with my life.
I'd just like to report that my first interview is edited and is just waiting approval from the interviewee. I'm not sure I did an amazing job (I'm still learning to do a non-medical student interview - "So what brings you in to the clinic today?"), but my interview subject had a great story to tell.
I don't want to post any spoilers, but I might have earned myself a tag, a subject about which I'm having second thoughts...
I've been turned down by a few people I'd love to interview, and gotten a few more people agreeing to do it. If there are things you'd like asked of your fellow depression-GAFfers, let me know.
I don't want to post any spoilers, but I might have earned myself a tag, a subject about which I'm having second thoughts...
I've been turned down by a few people I'd love to interview, and gotten a few more people agreeing to do it. If there are things you'd like asked of your fellow depression-GAFfers, let me know.
Its even worse when you have to pay for it.
Yeah, it's like stimulant drugs.
i feel like i should be on drugs everyday just so i don't have to think at all.
admit yourself to a hospital and that will very much be the case
I do not recommend it though
Is there nothing you can do to distract you from your thoughts? Music, videogames, learning a language or an musical instrument, reading, drawing, photography, astronomy? Nothing at all?
Learning helps very well for me. I made a list of subjects I wanted to learn more about. Then for each subject I searched for the best book(s) to learn from and now I'm reading those. For me those subjects are astronomy, classical antiquity, music and French. I couldn't enjoy any of those if I didn't have the right material. Most books are a drag to learn from, but I eventually found some that were more enjoyable.
Maybe read some philosophy? There are tons of different world views and learning about them has really helped me to develop a more exciting outlook on life. You can take elements from each world view to create your own. I think a lot of people can't get out of their depression because of their world view.
I know this could be useless advice, but it might be useful for some. Things aren't going to get better just like that, so you might as well try out a lot of things.
I guess it would be terrible since i would be alive. you know one of the terrible truths about being gay is that i will never meet anyone and be alone. my dreams of having a family buying a house having kids are meaningless. i admit i hate the show my gf/bf thread or when people post photos of their newborns since i will never have any of that ever. its like looking into an abyss of nothingness and that's my life that's my future. it makes me crazy it makes me hate everything, it makes me just want to blow my brains away. And to top it off i am the antithesis of attractiveness in the gay world so i cannot even find anyone. it sucks to feel for guys that want nothing of me or guys who are straight. even gaygaf hates me so i try not to post in their thread a lot. i wish i knew this is the way my life was going to turn out so i could have just killed myself in high school.
I have no talent and i've lost interest in games, reading, learning Japanese, everything. There is no point to life, no point to live, nothing at all.
Ether_Snake
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Yesterday, since there were renovations in my apartment, I took the opportunity to clean up the fridge. Removed everything, cleaned every boards, left them to dry, put everything back in. Cleaned the top of the fridge which was disgustingly full of dust (crazy how must dust finds itself where you never look). Tried to clean the inside of the oven but I can barely scratch anything off so I gave up on that. Did the laundry too, and washed the floors quickly. Next weekend I'll redo the caulking around the bath.
Really nothing fun, but it feels good to clean things up and put some order in the house. Even feels good to put stuff in the recycling bin or the compost bin. Something about putting things where they should be and getting rid of old crap feels therapeutic. I recommend it
Really nothing fun, but it feels good to clean things up and put some order in the house. Even feels good to put stuff in the recycling bin or the compost bin. Something about putting things where they should be and getting rid of old crap feels therapeutic. I recommend it
you really think your problems would go away if you weren't gay? you seem to have this conception that being gay makes it harder to find someone
All my male cousins are either married or have kids and me the only one of age and i have nothing. i hate to visit their homes and see them on holidays so i don't. my cousin is marring her boyfriend next year and everyone keeps telling me i must go, but i know i will not i wont not for anything.
You literally did not address the question at all. That would be like me responding to "Is rain good for plants?" by claiming the flower outside my door was wilting.
You need to get your self esteem and your interests back. I notice that your standards are very high, so you have to change your world view dramatically. Then everything else will follow. You'll start seeing beauty in life again, you'll suddenly be more social, find a partner eventually and then you could adopt.
Stop focusing on your long term desires and seek therapy to work on your self esteem. Self esteem is EVERYTHING. With it you can make a lot of progress, without it you lose all interest and you're much less productive.
well it is harder since the gay world is all about looks. I've had few girls ask me out before but guys never. half of all my problems or more would be gone if i was straight.
that seems impossible right now.
The grass is always greener...
Its not fun seeing myself become that old gay guy at the end of the bar that everyone ignores and having to go home sad and alone or having to pay someone to be with you.
A lot of what makes attractive people desirable is their confidence. Granted, it's easy to feel confident when you know you look great. Still, you can go a long way toward being more desirable by being confident. Emphasize your best qualities. Work out. Try to dress your best. You can add several points of attractiveness without cosmetic surgery just by doing the best with what you've got and learning to be comfortable in your own body.
Want to change places? A guy once tried to hit on me while I was waiting for some friends outside a bar, you can have him if you want. I'd gladly take your girls from you
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
Want to change places? A guy once tried to hit on me while I was waiting for some friends outside a bar, you can have him if you want. I'd gladly take your girls from you
Haha, this. I've had quite a few guys hit on me, but no real girl attention.
this is such utter bullshit
ive been hit on by guys, never by girls
Girls dont tend to want anything to do with you if you're depressed
Its like you're telling us that we're shit because we're straight and still have problems
well guess what, its not easy so you can stop blaming your sexuality
I already said i am the opposite of attractiveness in the gay world, who would want to be with me at all. I am already attracted to a certain type already and that type of guy doesn't like me in any bit. Least if i was straight i would have had a family by now worrying about buying a house or what birthday cake for my kid or a nice wedding anniversary present for my wife. My life is an empty abyss the best way to save it is to commit suicide.
I'm not even saying that. Just my family and peers around me are getting married and having families and i have none of that.
You're how old? A lot of people grow into their looks. My dad and grandfather are both handsome men, but when my mom brings out the pictures of my dad from their wedding it's always a laugh riot.
huh? grow into my looks. so why not start dating when i am 50 maybe 70. no thanks if i have to wait that long i might as well just die now.
Not THAT long. I looked pretty pitiful until my late teens and I really came into my own in my twenties. In my thirties, I think I still look pretty okay.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
I'll attest to this, I don't know how attractive I am right now, but I look much better than I did even just two years ago.
Well i guess that does not apply to me at all. At any age i look horrible.
Well, you're going to have to do what men have been doing since the dawn of time: cultivate something else. If you don't think you can cut it with looks, you're going to have to be funny, or interesting in some other way, or kind.
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