hahaha
I tried acupuncture despite knowing about its questionable homeopathic nature
such a waste of time
the electricity they pump into you makes you feel like you're going super saiyan though
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
- Start date
- Status
hahaha
I tried acupuncture despite knowing about its questionable homeopathic nature
such a waste of time
the electricity they pump into you makes you feel like you're going super saiyan though
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Speaking of therapeutic, I got a waiter job a few weeks ago. Has been good in combating feelings of sadness (although the sadness may be replaced with feelings of stress and anger 
). You get a little better with people since you're forced to interact with them at an effective level. I've also found that it helps with not caring so much about how others perceive you (not in a belligerent "fuck everyone else" mentality but in more of a neutral "I'm fine" kinda mentality if that makes any sort of sense)
I think hard work in general can be a way to fight depression. As long as it's not work that you absolutely despise.
). You get a little better with people since you're forced to interact with them at an effective level. I've also found that it helps with not caring so much about how others perceive you (not in a belligerent "fuck everyone else" mentality but in more of a neutral "I'm fine" kinda mentality if that makes any sort of sense)I think hard work in general can be a way to fight depression. As long as it's not work that you absolutely despise.
ZackusMaximus
Banned
So I killed it at that job interview and start Wednesday. Now I have two nights to change my sleep cycle from falling asleep at 6am to waking up at 6am. FML.
It depends on what you take, how often and how much. But the benzo's can be very addictive. But normally you shouldn't be taking anymore than 2-3mg daily, unless you've got severe issues where nothing else helps.
In my experience, as a long time benzo addict, is that without them I'd be a 99% danger to myself and others, bottom line without doubt. The addiction or withdrawls notwithstanding. In my case it's not that they remove anxiety because truthfully I generally don't give a shit, but they calm my nerves and my disposition in a way that I'm not a asshole and at worst obsessive paranoid psychopath. So they allow to to not care in a positive proactive way as opposed to a negative destructive way. This allows me to have a job, go to college, have relationships, etc where it just wouldn't be possible otherwise.
I don't like to get too personal about myself, issues or past because that seems to make a lot of people uncomfortable and it offends people. But suffice it to say in my case, it's the better of two evils for me to stay under the influence and relatively calm instead of sober and a immediate danger to everyone around me (both psychologically and physically). So I can't say that this or that anti-anxiety would be right for you, because it's different with everybody's situation, but all you can do is try to see what works through experience. Not a lot of doctor's are comfortable prescribing benzo's to patients but my advice is if you know something isn't working by the 2nd dosage increase, don't let a quack continue to make excuses to up the dose "just to see". Which is what many doctor's tend to do.
element
Member
Winter Depression is hitting me big time the last week or so. Seattle has been covered with thick fog the last week or two. That and some unfortunate chain of events in dating have really taken their toll on me. It just seems to be a compounding depression where everything seems to happen all at the same time.
Oh well. Time to get a SAD light, take some vitamin d, and go for a longer dog walk I guess.
Oh well. Time to get a SAD light, take some vitamin d, and go for a longer dog walk I guess.
TUROK
Member
I was having a really really bad day yesterday. I was filled with all sorts of fucked up thoughts and was close to doing something really stupid like hurting myself or somebody else. I then saw this picture (and a few others), and it really helped. It just cheered me up a bit. I hope it can help you guys as well.
Wow, cool thread. Didn't knew a thread like this would exist on neogaf.
Personally, I suffer from a combination of OCD (really obsessed with certain thoughts), anxiety and depression. I'd like to share my tale.
To begin, my life started with a tiny miracle. You see, my mother was supposed to give birth to two children, a non-identical twin. Now, I don't know the exact details, but apparently there was a problem with our hearts and both me and my brother died. (Our hearts weren't strong enough). Now, then the miracle happened (according to the doctors back then). Apparently, I came back to life. Yay for me. The sad part was that it was only me, not my twin brother. I often think about that. What if he lived through it like me? How would it be to have a twin brother (although not identical)? It's like I feel incomplete sometimes, but I try to not think too much about it.
Anyway, I avoided certain death but my life didn't really start all too well. At young age, I had epilepsy and a lot of coughing problems. I had to skip school a lot because of the epilepsy attacks AND I had to use some kind of breathing device for the coughing (don't remember the name, but it was awful imo). Doctors were saying I could potentially live my entire life with these problems, especially the epilepsy.
That was before tiny miracle #2 though, because somehow the epilepsy/coughing problems just.... vanished. Completely gone. We even moved to a new city after, I got a new school, new friends etc. I really felt "normal" back then, like without problems or anything.
Unlucky as I am though (I blame my birthday, 13th of july!), life decided to change things around (again). At the age of 18 (around january 2011), I began to feel different. It started with something small... I was watching tv and all of a sudden, the sound felt off. I was hearing some loss in quality when certain voices said certain tones (this might sound obsessive and I think it is). Now, I just had the flu so I figured my ears were a little messed up or something. Went to the doctor, he told me that my right ear has some problems. Went to a specialist and apparently I had a rare condition that usually only happens to older people (like 60years old and up). I remember him looking at me, expecting a surprised look, but I was just like "Oh well, at this point I can have anything I guess".
Thing is, the really funny part is that the ear problem had no connection with me feeling differently. I just discovered it by accident. I noticed this because the following days I began to notice other things, began to obsess over different things, followed by a strange anxiety feeling in my stomach. Like some feeling of impending doom, that I'd never be "normal again". Sometimes, the feeling (which I now know is OCD/anxiety/depression) became manage-able and I would worry 90% less. The next week it came back though and I began to think "aww I just spent an entire week feeling normal, worrying about nothing... WHY?!" It really was bad.
It's 22 january 2013 now, about 2 years after the first encounter. I'd like to say the problems are gone (like the epilepsy, like the coughing...) but they aren't. I just recently learned how to cope with them, how to manage. I'm not sure if I will ever "feel normal" again, but that is not my concern anymore. I'm just trying to live my life the best I can, that's all I want right now. Sometimes I would joke that I'm cursed or something (born on the 13th!), but I know that's just silly. Maybe I'll look back to these day(s) in a few years and say "Wow, I'm glad those days are behind me. I really feel better now, it was worth it" or maybe life will become worse. I don't really know. (I noticed my hands are having this spasm lately, kinda the same as epilepsy in the old days, it better not come back :'( )
Anyway, I'm glad that I could share this tale. It might be long, but I hope you'll enjoy the read.
Personally, I suffer from a combination of OCD (really obsessed with certain thoughts), anxiety and depression. I'd like to share my tale.
To begin, my life started with a tiny miracle. You see, my mother was supposed to give birth to two children, a non-identical twin. Now, I don't know the exact details, but apparently there was a problem with our hearts and both me and my brother died. (Our hearts weren't strong enough). Now, then the miracle happened (according to the doctors back then). Apparently, I came back to life. Yay for me. The sad part was that it was only me, not my twin brother. I often think about that. What if he lived through it like me? How would it be to have a twin brother (although not identical)? It's like I feel incomplete sometimes, but I try to not think too much about it.
Anyway, I avoided certain death but my life didn't really start all too well. At young age, I had epilepsy and a lot of coughing problems. I had to skip school a lot because of the epilepsy attacks AND I had to use some kind of breathing device for the coughing (don't remember the name, but it was awful imo). Doctors were saying I could potentially live my entire life with these problems, especially the epilepsy.
That was before tiny miracle #2 though, because somehow the epilepsy/coughing problems just.... vanished. Completely gone. We even moved to a new city after, I got a new school, new friends etc. I really felt "normal" back then, like without problems or anything.
Unlucky as I am though (I blame my birthday, 13th of july!), life decided to change things around (again). At the age of 18 (around january 2011), I began to feel different. It started with something small... I was watching tv and all of a sudden, the sound felt off. I was hearing some loss in quality when certain voices said certain tones (this might sound obsessive and I think it is). Now, I just had the flu so I figured my ears were a little messed up or something. Went to the doctor, he told me that my right ear has some problems. Went to a specialist and apparently I had a rare condition that usually only happens to older people (like 60years old and up). I remember him looking at me, expecting a surprised look, but I was just like "Oh well, at this point I can have anything I guess".
Thing is, the really funny part is that the ear problem had no connection with me feeling differently. I just discovered it by accident. I noticed this because the following days I began to notice other things, began to obsess over different things, followed by a strange anxiety feeling in my stomach. Like some feeling of impending doom, that I'd never be "normal again". Sometimes, the feeling (which I now know is OCD/anxiety/depression) became manage-able and I would worry 90% less. The next week it came back though and I began to think "aww I just spent an entire week feeling normal, worrying about nothing... WHY?!" It really was bad.
It's 22 january 2013 now, about 2 years after the first encounter. I'd like to say the problems are gone (like the epilepsy, like the coughing...) but they aren't. I just recently learned how to cope with them, how to manage. I'm not sure if I will ever "feel normal" again, but that is not my concern anymore. I'm just trying to live my life the best I can, that's all I want right now. Sometimes I would joke that I'm cursed or something (born on the 13th!), but I know that's just silly. Maybe I'll look back to these day(s) in a few years and say "Wow, I'm glad those days are behind me. I really feel better now, it was worth it" or maybe life will become worse. I don't really know. (I noticed my hands are having this spasm lately, kinda the same as epilepsy in the old days, it better not come back :'( )
Anyway, I'm glad that I could share this tale. It might be long, but I hope you'll enjoy the read.
I finally decided to make an appointment with my GP to discuss my depression that I've lived with for at least the past 5 years. I've finally accepted that I need help with my hopelessness that life isn't worth living and I'm not really accomplishing anything. The funny thing is yesterday I went out with two of my close friends and we had a long train journey back so I was just telling them stories to make them laugh, two people opposite us were listening and when we got up to leave they both said you're number 1 that was really fun to listen to. It was totally unexpected and I actually felt on top of the world and could take on any challenge. I woke up this morning and I felt like shit again.
I've always feared seeing the doctor because I'm not sure if I believe in the power of meds to alter my state of mind. I would much rather be referred to a therapist than get addicted to drugs with side effects that are potentially worse than the symptoms I'm experiencing. Is there anyone here with experience taking depression and anxiety meds and eventually weaning off them? Or is there any recommended articles about the usefulness of meds to combat depression and anxiety.
I've always feared seeing the doctor because I'm not sure if I believe in the power of meds to alter my state of mind. I would much rather be referred to a therapist than get addicted to drugs with side effects that are potentially worse than the symptoms I'm experiencing. Is there anyone here with experience taking depression and anxiety meds and eventually weaning off them? Or is there any recommended articles about the usefulness of meds to combat depression and anxiety.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
I was on Lexapro for half a year at 20MG/day. Went cold turkey and for weeks I felt dizzy and terrible. Eventually stabilized though. You can always talk to your doc about weaning yourself off, that's what you're supposed to do anyways with regards to coming off any sort of medication.
As far as the ability of meds to alter your mind, we're not talkin' some sort of voodoo alternative ancient Chinese herbal medicine here. They can affect you just like any drug as sure as alcohol will get you drunk. Keep in mind that a lot of meds don't work for certain people so you might try one and still not feel anything after a few weeks and then you'll want to try a different one or a different dosage.
Therapy can be extremely helpful but I'm sure many therapists would still want to refer you to a psychiatrist. That's my personal experience anyways. Also, good on you for accepting your problem, hope your issues get sorted out for the most part.
ZackusMaximus
Banned
dang bro. right in the feels.
Hey guys, I've got a question and I think I'm posting in the right topic.
I've been discussing, with my female friend, the possibility of seeing a therapist.
Now, she said that it all depends on what you expect from the therapist - do you want meds? Advice? Someone to simply talk to? etc. Then there are different types of therapies, e.g. Ericksonian, psychoanalytical.
Well, the point is - I'm not sure. I'd definitely like to see someone who would listen to me and offer some sort of advice (I'm not expecting silver bullet here, but some guidance would be welcome), but I'm not saying "no" to meds either. Who knows, maybe I just need to leave the slump that I'm in (and have been for a few years now) and I'll recover by myself?
What do you guys think? Did you see any therapists? What kind of therapy are you undergoing?
I've been discussing, with my female friend, the possibility of seeing a therapist.
Now, she said that it all depends on what you expect from the therapist - do you want meds? Advice? Someone to simply talk to? etc. Then there are different types of therapies, e.g. Ericksonian, psychoanalytical.
Well, the point is - I'm not sure. I'd definitely like to see someone who would listen to me and offer some sort of advice (I'm not expecting silver bullet here, but some guidance would be welcome), but I'm not saying "no" to meds either. Who knows, maybe I just need to leave the slump that I'm in (and have been for a few years now) and I'll recover by myself?
What do you guys think? Did you see any therapists? What kind of therapy are you undergoing?
There's therapist and psychiatrist. I think psychiatrists can prescribe medication, but not sure. Therapist are people like Human Resources. They'll listen to your problems and give you advice. They went to school but may not be doctors. Really, i don't think it really matters. I had a psychiatrist that gave me terrible advice and would have to send me to a medical doctor to get medication, but he had a "Dr." in front of his name.
Really if you feel you have a problem just look them up on the internet. Google your problem and your town/zip code and see what comes up. Never hurts to just go have a meeting with someone. If they seem cool and give you useful advice go back, if not, don't. You're paying for a service here. Ask them about what medicine they think will help, then go home and do your own research on it and decide, it's your well being here.
Oh and, I finally start work on Thursday AND I may be able to sign up for classes too! I have a meeting with an advisor tomorrow to see if I can take some morning classes, before I go to my afternoon job. I went from bleak to hopeful over night. I just need to see how I react to anxiety.
Lots of stuff to respond to, but this drives me nuts. A psychiatrist is, by definition, a medical doctor. I'm planning to be a psychiatrist, so I'm in medical school with the future cardiologists and dermatologists, doing all the same stuff. I'm delivering babies for the next 3 weeks. You don't specialize until residency.
A psychologist may be Dr. So-and-so, but then they have a PhD. They can prescribe some things in some places, but are not physicians.
You might meet psychiatrists who do only talk therapy and thus do not prescribe meds, but that's based on their area of practice, not their degree. That's getting pretty rare - psychiatric training has become very biomedical (with some exceptions, depending on the program) - you're expected to know the meds very well. Nowadays, all physicians need a decent knowledge of antidepressants. You're tested on it repeatedly. But even a psychiatrist who will practice primarily talk therapy has to know the meds very well.
VanillaCakeIsBurning
Member
Just came back from my first session with a psychologist.
I think it went pretty well. He brought up some things that made me question myself. Including how I view myself and how I view my successes and failures.
Going back for another round next week. I left with good feelings so hoping that it goes well next time.
I would suggest to anyone who is struggling with their own thoughts to see a psychologist. It really helps to have another voice analyze your issues and also point out how you go about forming them.
I think it went pretty well. He brought up some things that made me question myself. Including how I view myself and how I view my successes and failures.
Going back for another round next week. I left with good feelings so hoping that it goes well next time.
I would suggest to anyone who is struggling with their own thoughts to see a psychologist. It really helps to have another voice analyze your issues and also point out how you go about forming them.
I got turned down from one of the only good jobs available to me.
I'm so tired of this, my money is getting low and I'm all alone. I'm just a useless autistic, can't even join the military to repay my debts.
I m thinking of leaving home to just struggle alone on the streets with nothing. I've always been alone, but this way I won't have to deal with anyone.
Thanks everyone, I hope everyone gets better.
I'm so tired of this, my money is getting low and I'm all alone. I'm just a useless autistic, can't even join the military to repay my debts.
I m thinking of leaving home to just struggle alone on the streets with nothing. I've always been alone, but this way I won't have to deal with anyone.
Thanks everyone, I hope everyone gets better.
Saw my psychiatrist yesterday, and he switched me from 60mg of Cymbalta to 50mg of Pristiq since I was having very annoying muscle twitches/spasms. Anxiety has been mounting the last few days, especially at night. The Cymbalta helped control it for the most part, but it didn't totally take it all away. Hopefully Pristiq works out better than the Cymbalta and Cipralex did.
terrdactycalsrock
Member
Soo ummm I think I might be clinically depressed. Today I just broke, Im starting school tomorrow, I had two love ones die over the weekend, I worry about how many hours my mom works and her happiness, and I often fear for my own self worth, meaning I dont feel like Im worth that much.
To make things worse, when I say broke I mean I started crying, yelling and throwing things around the house. I just feel like a shitty person because I want to be a good guy but those things are just horrible. Especially, with your mom sitting there wondering what the hell is wrong with you. I must admit, I wonder the same thing. I would skip school tomorrow and go see a doctor however my uni has a policy where if you dont show up on the first day then the teacher has the right to give your seat away. Luckily, all of my classes are early and I'll be done by two. Hopefully I can squeeze in a doctors appointment afterwards
To make things worse, when I say broke I mean I started crying, yelling and throwing things around the house. I just feel like a shitty person because I want to be a good guy but those things are just horrible. Especially, with your mom sitting there wondering what the hell is wrong with you. I must admit, I wonder the same thing. I would skip school tomorrow and go see a doctor however my uni has a policy where if you dont show up on the first day then the teacher has the right to give your seat away. Luckily, all of my classes are early and I'll be done by two. Hopefully I can squeeze in a doctors appointment afterwards
Remember when we all thought this year would be different? Better? How we would make sure that this is the year all the changes we needed in our lives would someone come to fruition? Yeah me neither. Shitty worthless life. Wish I lived in the States so I could enlist and die in some undisclosed trench in the middle of nowhere, at the very least by the hand of anyone else than myself.
So, in some way, I feel like I've reached a turning about when it comes to people, relationships, social interactions...
The last couple of days I've just sort of shrugged up my shoulders and have basically said "I don't give a fuck".
I've lost interested in really talking to guys, I've lost interest in hanging out with people... I feel more comfortable alone, with myself, just depending on myself.
I feel that when I am around people, I have to put up this persistent fake persona than I am a happy, or well-off person and that I am never allowed to drop it or else I run people off.
Many people that used to talk to me don't talk to me anymore.
I'm becoming more reclusive and stand offish and I am honestly okay with that.
It's sad to realize this and it's sad to be going through it.
Yeah, 2013 has been pretty shitty from the word "Go".
The last couple of days I've just sort of shrugged up my shoulders and have basically said "I don't give a fuck".
I've lost interested in really talking to guys, I've lost interest in hanging out with people... I feel more comfortable alone, with myself, just depending on myself.
I feel that when I am around people, I have to put up this persistent fake persona than I am a happy, or well-off person and that I am never allowed to drop it or else I run people off.
Many people that used to talk to me don't talk to me anymore.
I'm becoming more reclusive and stand offish and I am honestly okay with that.
It's sad to realize this and it's sad to be going through it.
Yeah, 2013 has been pretty shitty from the word "Go".
The year has barely started and already you are giving up? Already you are fatalistic? This year can be different with enough effort and determination. Trust me I know it ain't easy. It's never easy. I'm trying to stay positive and motivated and I hope I can encourage others to do the same.
Hey, just want to say hello to everyone and hope all is going well.
I've been a long-standing sufferer of deep, deep depression pretty much my entire life, but especially since high school. I've never attempted, or even seriously considered suicide, but like... it's always just one of those things that's in the back of your mind at even the tiniest little problem.
Compounded with a lot of issues related to my time in the military and PTSD, some of my days can be absolute living nightmares. Even just a few days ago I had a particularly emotional experience and sat in front of my computer monitor crying for almost an hour. I'm only 27, sometimes I think I'm just too young for this shit and how can I have gone through the things that I did. What happened to the tough guy I used to be? Is there anything more poisoning to the mind than "I wish I had just died over there"?
Nice to see a good GAF community around here, I shall subscribe and hopefully visit more frequently. I certainly don't feel sorry for myself, though, I understand and accept that almost everything I've done in my life is my own responsibility and through my own choice, I'm certainly not anyone's victim. At least I have that to be proud of.
My life is hardly hopeless, though, I do have a steady part time job while attending school on the GI Bill. I'm more than half-way to my Bachelor's Degree, with plenty of opportunities before me. But when you're depressed... it just.... surrounds everything in this dark, black cloud, even your victories.
I've been a long-standing sufferer of deep, deep depression pretty much my entire life, but especially since high school. I've never attempted, or even seriously considered suicide, but like... it's always just one of those things that's in the back of your mind at even the tiniest little problem.
Compounded with a lot of issues related to my time in the military and PTSD, some of my days can be absolute living nightmares. Even just a few days ago I had a particularly emotional experience and sat in front of my computer monitor crying for almost an hour. I'm only 27, sometimes I think I'm just too young for this shit and how can I have gone through the things that I did. What happened to the tough guy I used to be? Is there anything more poisoning to the mind than "I wish I had just died over there"?
Nice to see a good GAF community around here, I shall subscribe and hopefully visit more frequently. I certainly don't feel sorry for myself, though, I understand and accept that almost everything I've done in my life is my own responsibility and through my own choice, I'm certainly not anyone's victim. At least I have that to be proud of.
My life is hardly hopeless, though, I do have a steady part time job while attending school on the GI Bill. I'm more than half-way to my Bachelor's Degree, with plenty of opportunities before me. But when you're depressed... it just.... surrounds everything in this dark, black cloud, even your victories.
Maddocks
Member
I feel just like this. Everytime I open up to people or discuss my issues they don't care and talk about themselves. If they do actually care, it doesn't last. Last time I opened up to a person they pretty much said they would always be there to talk and when I needed them last week, they pretty much said,"im sure you will figure it out" That's why I now just don't want to deal with people and just be alone.
Had a job interview the other day, don't think it went well. Had a phone interview for a different job before that which I totally bombed, which sucks because I really would have liked to have a one-to-one interview for that job. Feel really miserable today... completely worthless, useless, lost. I just wish I knew what to do in life.
Inspirational. Thanks for sharing!
Yeah, I know that.
Or I feel I just can't open up to people or they start to think I crazy and I drive them off.
I just couldn't care less anymore. I have more important things I need to deal with than people right now.
Necronomikon
Member
This is exactly what happens to me.
2012 last quarter was interesting but it dive into oblivion and it all went to shit. Last year's last week started off badly and it spread to 2013. My credit card got hijacked (there was an unauthorized transaction for around $600), I trample my middle finger and my nail is fucked, my job applications are stood still, and to top it all, this girl I liked that I opened to was honest and told me she was still in love with her Ex, but at the same time things started to go shitty with her and we keep on fighting and I keep on changing myself for her, but she just doesn't seem to notice or even care now, and the problem is that she knows me a lot and I feel kind of vulnerable there.
I try to keep positive, but everything is so fucked up that it's really hard. I hadn't cry for years but I just recently did because I felt alone and hopeless. I try to focus on different things but I keep getting reminded that through my 27 years I've been struggling alone over and over, and it sometimes feels pointless.
And showing my true self to someone seems to be part of the issue why I'm alone. So I'm starting to think that maybe I should lie about myself to everyone this point forward to see if I get different results, but I just feel that I'm betraying myself... but after thinking shit over and over, the common denominator in every hassle I have with relationships and stuff it's me! I'm a bit OCD and over analyze shit, which is good for my daily job life but not for my personal life it seems.
It just saddens me that my true self is discouraging for people that I give the opportunity to get to know me.
I'm venting GAF, I'm kind of sad and pissed at this year's beginning but I must stay positive as there is always people in worst situations that manage to get through. But I just hate feeling weak and vulnerable and susceptible to everything.
Best wishes to all!
malingenie
Member
As a psychologist, I am not too fond of most therapists for depression. Maybe cognitive-behavioral psychologists, because they will try and give you actual behaviors you can do to change (catch and change your negative thoughts). I went to a Freudian psychoanalyst who was concerned with the root cause of the problem, and well, was so predictable
your mom
The single most important change, in my journey, was medication after a long time of being symptomatic. I was then able to set my life in such a way I could be rewarded internally and then the meds came off. YMMV though.
Wait a couple of weeks, you may be mourning. It is important to be able to determine the existence of symptoms without a recent stressor, like death of a loved one.
malingenie
Member
DP
revolverjgw
Member
Eh, literally the only notable thing that happened to me in 2012 was cancer, getting my guts torn out and laying around for months not even being able to sit down in my chair properly. So going into this year I did feel like it had to be better, how could things possibly be worse, and that prompted me to get off my ass, get into respectable shape again and at least start trying to make changes that I should have made years ago but felt there was no point, like finally talking to a psychologist and getting put on meds (just starting this week... might not work but at least I'm trying something that is a big change ). Whichever mindset you have, whether it's things can't be worse or that things can and will get worse, the latter will happen unless you make some moves.
But I don't know your health/living status or where you live, or what moves you made or haven't made, so I'm not suggesting anything about you in particular, though since you half-seriously mentioned enlisting... is there anything keeping you from trying something like that? Not to die in trench, of course, but there's tons of shit you can do in the military. I used to toy with the idea of dropping all my boring unsatisfying studies and joining the police academy, it was something I could have afforded and something I figured could be more fulfilling. And I probably would have... I had to drop that idea but options like that may be there.
If nothing else I've got a folder full of Super Mario Galaxy shots that you made, be proud of that
What does it say about me that I automatically read that as "double penetration"?
Could be the initial side effects? Or have you been feeling like this since before starting? Either would be normal. I was always tired/indifferent on Cipralex, even before I started. Didn't do anything for me.
Cymbalta withdrawal is a bitch; feeling light-headed, unable to concentrate, dizzy, tired... Ugh.
Hi GAF, I'm new here and this is the only place I can talk/vent. For the past two years, I've been gearing up to go a university in Japan for the fall semester of 2013. I've worked hard at a community college an hour and a half away but I don't know what I'm going to do if I get rejected. My mother was suicidal during a semester so I ended up failing two classes, putting my overall GPA at a 2.8 right now. The university accepts a 2.5 minimum and up. I know this probably doesn't sound like a huge problem, but I'm just afraid of what happens if I get that letter telling me I'm not good enough.
Edit: I should probably expand a bit. My only friends live in Japan, which is a big reason I want to go to school there. Skype only helps so much, so I miss them.
Edit: I should probably expand a bit. My only friends live in Japan, which is a big reason I want to go to school there. Skype only helps so much, so I miss them.
Yeah blue beetle is my favorite DC character.
I'm starting to make a budget for myself and get myself out of credit card debit. I estimate by the end of march I would have paid off 4 of my credit cards then in 5 months pay off my major credit card. After that I'm going to plan a trip to Japan and maybe by an iMac. My sister just bought one and now I want one. The old me would just order it and finance it and juggle that extra bill with my others now I am going to make sure most if not all cards are paid up before financing a pc. I've also started to include my saving acc as part of my budget.
I've also plan on taking a Japanese course to help prepare for the Japanese proficiency test. I'm also going to take a course in teaching English in another country.
My meds and groups I've been going to has helped me visualize plans for myself that I could not see before. I am praying that by the end of the year I am at least close to some of my goals.
Hey,
So uh, yeah I got the diagnosis a month ago, but I delayed on it quite a lot I guess. I mean getting it identified and whatnot. For years it was because of family, but now I'm away from home, it was a lot of fear, because the diagnosis seemed so final, like something that couldn't be dismissed as a brief moment of madness. I mean, I know the root causes, but now I'm rather removed from them, but the depression persists. The root cause was the force that got the ball rolling, rather than the momentum behind the ball. The root cause could be non existent at this point, and it would not matter a damn, damage done.
Uni work is getting pretty tough, I woke up, and found myself already "falling". Forced myself to get up for lab work, and felt like I would have rather have spent the whole 6 hours huddled in the corner. Went home and thats exactly what I did. Friends came by a few hours later, so I fake some degree of, well, I don't know really, but, its weird, because I find myself thinking through everything far more than ever. I think for a few years its been like this, but more lately I'm registering myself mimicking emotions almost, because nothing goes in. A product of how I was brought up I guess. I don't know. Emotions were bad growing up, so they were silenced, hidden, bottled and eviscerated. It was a constant outer layer, which at first was born from circumstances to survive, but then grew into something else entirely, into a plan. A vague plan, with one core idea. Escape.
Venting. My heads a throbbing mess at the moment.
So uh, yeah I got the diagnosis a month ago, but I delayed on it quite a lot I guess. I mean getting it identified and whatnot. For years it was because of family, but now I'm away from home, it was a lot of fear, because the diagnosis seemed so final, like something that couldn't be dismissed as a brief moment of madness. I mean, I know the root causes, but now I'm rather removed from them, but the depression persists. The root cause was the force that got the ball rolling, rather than the momentum behind the ball. The root cause could be non existent at this point, and it would not matter a damn, damage done.
Uni work is getting pretty tough, I woke up, and found myself already "falling". Forced myself to get up for lab work, and felt like I would have rather have spent the whole 6 hours huddled in the corner. Went home and thats exactly what I did. Friends came by a few hours later, so I fake some degree of, well, I don't know really, but, its weird, because I find myself thinking through everything far more than ever. I think for a few years its been like this, but more lately I'm registering myself mimicking emotions almost, because nothing goes in. A product of how I was brought up I guess. I don't know. Emotions were bad growing up, so they were silenced, hidden, bottled and eviscerated. It was a constant outer layer, which at first was born from circumstances to survive, but then grew into something else entirely, into a plan. A vague plan, with one core idea. Escape.
Venting. My heads a throbbing mess at the moment.
I don't know if its depression per say but man does it feel like it's heading that way.
The constant anxiety, worrying, being overly critical of myself, pent up anger, feeling like shit makes life so frustrating at times.
Whats really frustrating though, is not having somebody to really talk to about this stuff who can understand what its like to go through this. Any time I try to bring this up with people, they just can't relate or give off some lame advice.
The constant anxiety, worrying, being overly critical of myself, pent up anger, feeling like shit makes life so frustrating at times.
Whats really frustrating though, is not having somebody to really talk to about this stuff who can understand what its like to go through this. Any time I try to bring this up with people, they just can't relate or give off some lame advice.
blame space
Banned
fuck niggas in paris just came on after ghetto anthem never mind
fuck niggas in paris just came on after ghetto anthem never mind
I know it's your shtick, but kindly stop trolling the thread Blame...
fuck niggas in paris just came on after ghetto anthem never mind
I was giving you the benefit of the doubt for a while, but now I'm pretty sure you're just trolling. In which case, kindly fuck off.
If not, please contribute to having any sort of actual discussion.
It sounds to me like it is. If you have the opportunity try to talk to someone about it. If you go to a university they have both student health and student counseling. I can't stress enough to try to talk to someone about it. Depression, even major depression, can be very manageable. If this doesn't apply to you, and you don't have insurance, then I'm really sorry. Wish there was something I could do to help. Feel free to vent if you'd like.
I've been feeling pretty low myself: bad education/career choices, loads of debt, no job and plain dissatisfaction with life. I'm not quite suicidal, but I have been thinking about death and dying a lot. I'm really starting to lose the desire to live. It seems so unnecessary, ephemeral and filled with nothing but long stretches of suffering with sprinkles of happiness and satisfaction. I think not existing would be a better thing.
User 100115
Banned
Wanted to rant a bit, since no one else will listen, feel free to ignore.
I lost a really good friend today. I've know her for years, god, going on 11 years now, and we talked nearly every day. I can't stop crying, but I can't really talk about it with anyone, since I'd never actually met her. She was 'just' an online friend. So yeah. Ranting here. And I get to go mourn quietly.
I lost a really good friend today. I've know her for years, god, going on 11 years now, and we talked nearly every day. I can't stop crying, but I can't really talk about it with anyone, since I'd never actually met her. She was 'just' an online friend. So yeah. Ranting here. And I get to go mourn quietly.
I really hate sounding like a emotional fuckwit but all I can do is keep cutting myself, like.. it's because of my relationship but she is the only friend I have now but she makes me feel horrible. I was with my friends and my friend Rex vomited so I bought her water and kissed her cheek and my girlfriend tells my I cheated and is getting all my friends agains me and they believe her but I don't want to Lose my friends cause I don't have any... I feel like cutting till I can't cut no more but my sheets are already soaked in blood
I'm in the same boat <3
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