TUROK
Member
People underestimate the connection people can have via only written communication.
I'm sorry you lost someone you really cared about.
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
- Start date
- Status
I'm sorry you lost someone you really cared about.
Online, rather than physical, proximity doesn't disqualify the possibility of it being an immensely important relationship. I'm truly sorry for your loss. Please allow yourself to mourn - whether other people understand is secondary.
I ask in total sincerity - what fuels your anger with yourself? It sounds like a multifaceted situation - but do you feel it's all your fault? And does cutting yourself introduce any peace to your presence?
In the mean time, please refrain from hurting yourself, to the best of your ability. I know it's not that simple. Far more complex than most people care to know, I'm sure.
Define normal job.
I feel trapped, I can't do anything without my girlfriend telling me I'm ruining her night. She makes my friends hate me by telling lies and she goes all cute and they hate me and never listen to me, I told my friend what I felt and he said I was pisssing him off for telling him and tells me it's my fault.
Example, she tells me it's okay if she makes out with her best friend because they're just friends. If I try to console my friend who I've known for years she convinces everyone I'm with that I ditched her even though she told me I was the problem cause I kissed my friend on the cheek And "how do I think that makes her feel" and my friends now think I ditched her cause I'm a dick
I know I'm ranting and I'm sorry thanks for the help I just can't I want to cut because I feel I should be, all over until its super deep
Tl dr - I get told its my fault from everyone' I hang out with and I feel that I get told bulllshit about because my gf admits to making stuff up to get people to feel sorry for her
Example, she tells me it's okay if she makes out with her best friend because they're just friends. If I try to console my friend who I've known for years she convinces everyone I'm with that I ditched her even though she told me I was the problem cause I kissed my friend on the cheek And "how do I think that makes her feel" and my friends now think I ditched her cause I'm a dick
I know I'm ranting and I'm sorry thanks for the help I just can't I want to cut because I feel I should be, all over until its super deep
Tl dr - I get told its my fault from everyone' I hang out with and I feel that I get told bulllshit about because my gf admits to making stuff up to get people to feel sorry for her
I'm really sorry to hear that. Feel free to rant as much as you'd like.
My condolences. Just because you never met the person, doesn't mean you didn't share something special.
A normal office/desk job with full time hours. My current job is packing food in containers. I hate it. It's so dirty.
I went to the library today and saw a girl whose only job is to ring up books and handle new applications. I also hate working part time. I sometimes go to the library or Barnes and Noble and pretend I'm at work to look busy and avoid my dad.
As someone who'd consider his online friend to be his best friend. Online relationships don't intrinsically have less value than a normal everyday friendship. I mean in some ways they can be just as strong because the online setting can allow you to be more "open" about certain things that would be harder in a normal friendship.
Online relationships may be more genuine than IRL ones, for they obliterate a lot of artifices. Condolences.
You're not trapped, ditch your girlfriend and look for a better one.
blame space
Banned
sorry I'm not being depressed right for you people
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Not much of a girlfriend or friend if she manipulates everyone like this. It's better to have no one than to be in a toxic relationship.
I literally have no one else who looks out for me though. I have no friends at all, I try to make them but I can't, she's the only friend I have and all my other friends don't like me now because she tells them things that aren't true and when I tell them that they tell me I'm the one who's being a dick because she acts all cutesy and nice and they won't even listen when I tell them my point of view because they are dead set on believing her - I don't even wish I was making this up because its horrible
Edit: "all" my other friends being 2 who, despite only meeting my gf tonight, believe her over me And I'm not even trying to make them dislike her just believe what I am saying cause she is lying uh ); I don't know who I have though If I break up with her
Edit: "all" my other friends being 2 who, despite only meeting my gf tonight, believe her over me And I'm not even trying to make them dislike her just believe what I am saying cause she is lying uh ); I don't know who I have though If I break up with her
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
She's not your friend.
But if I stop believing that she cares I literally have no one and I mean literally. And no one likes a Debby downer
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
How is it that you're thinking having no one is worse than having an asshole sabotage your life?
Because its lonely being on your own. I don't know it's hard I stood in the middle of a road today waiting for cars to hit me :/
And also even if they are thinking bad things about me at Least they're thinking about me
Leave it. Toxic relationships will ruin you. Trust me, I've been on toxic relationships all of my life and I am royally fucked because of them.
It will hurt, but getting away from something that is bad for you will be beneficial in the long run.
Thanks guys for your words of support; and advice! I tried messaging my friends but no one replied so its nice that anons would listen
<3Thank you
User 100115
Banned
Thank you everyone for your support, it means a ton to me. You guys are the best. Seriously.
This is the worst thing you could possibly think. You're a prisoner to your own life/relationship.
Don't do that.
If you have family, they'll be your friends.
If you have any friends, it'll be an excuse to get closer to them.
If you have neither, you have GAF while you can try making new friends.
Nothing is worse than what you're feeling and it won't get better unless you leave or you express how you feel and she makes a radical and active effort to change.
Honestly, if she's sabotaging you and your relationships, it's best for you to ditch her and start over. It'll be scary at first but you can do this.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
I'm sorry to hear about that Fiction. I've never lost anyone like that (yet...) so I can't imagine how horrible you must feel right now. Feel free to rant at us all you want. That's what we're here for.
TUROK
Member
That is beyond fucked up.
Honestly, having such a person in your life is toxic to yours. Loneliness seems a lot scarier than being used, but it is honestly the better option. It seems like you're being taken advantage of.
ha, I know exactly how you feel. Only that my gf of 3 years broke up with me yesterday and... well, here I am! I'll let you know how it goes... without friends and all.
Icelandic_Jazz
Member
My anxiety is getting to be a bit too much lately. Graduated college in May and still no job. I'm really trying to break out of my rut, get out to California, get a job in my field, and finally get on with life, but fear is completely crippling me. I have the abilities and I feel like I'm really close to finally being up to speed (I've felt behind my whole life) but job anxiety and fear of rejection just keeps taking its toll on me.
I've had anxiety problems for most of my life and I've always been against the idea of medication for it, but god dammit I just want my brain to stop worrying about everything and just relax. It has gotten better. College was a fantastic and successful life-changer for me but anxiety is still keeping me from enjoying life.
Right now I'm saying fuck it and planning a trip out to California in 3 weeks to see college friends and try to line up as many interviews as possible. I don't have any place to stay other than bumming on friends' couches and no car, but I gotta break this somehow. I will admit that I'm scared shitless and don't feel prepared at all, but I feel less and less prepared the more I wait.
Am I making life harder for myself by not considering medication? I've been trying really hard to break the anxiety forever now. It messes with my sleep and I feel overly tired most days as well. I just... I feel close to fixing myself and want to get on with things.
I've had anxiety problems for most of my life and I've always been against the idea of medication for it, but god dammit I just want my brain to stop worrying about everything and just relax. It has gotten better. College was a fantastic and successful life-changer for me but anxiety is still keeping me from enjoying life.
Right now I'm saying fuck it and planning a trip out to California in 3 weeks to see college friends and try to line up as many interviews as possible. I don't have any place to stay other than bumming on friends' couches and no car, but I gotta break this somehow. I will admit that I'm scared shitless and don't feel prepared at all, but I feel less and less prepared the more I wait.
Am I making life harder for myself by not considering medication? I've been trying really hard to break the anxiety forever now. It messes with my sleep and I feel overly tired most days as well. I just... I feel close to fixing myself and want to get on with things.
I'm not sure if I'm depressed or if I have bi-polar to be honest :/
In terms of why I'm depressed..I just feel "lost".
I go to college, but I'm not studying what I really have a passion for (like painting, or writing short stories and novels. Honestly, I would love to one day be a Hollywood script writer, or even become a director one day and direct my own film)...
Butttttt:
My parents tell me it's unrealistic, and I have to focus on something that's "solid" and will guarantee a better future for me, rather than just daydreaming about "foolish fantasies". So I do, and I take classes that I have very little interest in, and classes that hardly engage me. So I feel as if I'm wasting valuable time rotting in a classroom, paying thousands of dollars to be lectured on things I don't give 2 shits about.
But it's "realistic for my future."
So I get depressed..wondering what fucking direction am I heading towards..a life that's dictated by my dreams and passions..or a life dictated by "guarantees" and "realism".
I don't like living where I live. I want to live somewhere else..always had a fascination with Europe..sometimes I would close my eyes, pretending I'm at some Parisian cafe sipping on some brandy, while just painting shit and chilling with my gf and kids.
But no..my life is probably destined to become a life that is dull, boring, and grey, and one that I feel no real "life" in..but hey it pays the bills right.
Sigh...
In terms of why I'm depressed..I just feel "lost".
I go to college, but I'm not studying what I really have a passion for (like painting, or writing short stories and novels. Honestly, I would love to one day be a Hollywood script writer, or even become a director one day and direct my own film)...
Butttttt:
My parents tell me it's unrealistic, and I have to focus on something that's "solid" and will guarantee a better future for me, rather than just daydreaming about "foolish fantasies". So I do, and I take classes that I have very little interest in, and classes that hardly engage me. So I feel as if I'm wasting valuable time rotting in a classroom, paying thousands of dollars to be lectured on things I don't give 2 shits about.
But it's "realistic for my future."
So I get depressed..wondering what fucking direction am I heading towards..a life that's dictated by my dreams and passions..or a life dictated by "guarantees" and "realism".
I don't like living where I live. I want to live somewhere else..always had a fascination with Europe..sometimes I would close my eyes, pretending I'm at some Parisian cafe sipping on some brandy, while just painting shit and chilling with my gf and kids.
But no..my life is probably destined to become a life that is dull, boring, and grey, and one that I feel no real "life" in..but hey it pays the bills right.
Sigh...
What's so bad about France?? Come down to Austria. Your food is better, the art is better, better modern music, being boisterous is part of the mentality.
Also, as tourists, you have no manners
I enjoy those as well, but still...
Prax
Member
That is awful and my condolences for your loss and the loss of who I can only assume was a really good person to the world. Online friendships can be just as awesome as physically close friendships. The emotional and communication bonds are still made no matter the distance and they become a part of your life.
It's good that you mourn, and you don't have to do it quietly. Who would even really judge? A friend is a friend regardless, especially one you've talked to for 11 years!
I hope you've been able to save a lot of conversations or pictures or random things you've done together on your harddrive or something and can one day look through those again and feel that gratefulness for being in each other's lives no matter how long or brief. Those memories and experiences are things you can cherish that you had together, and they never have to leave you.
And I am getting choked up just typing this out, so know that my words are sincere.
You may feel that way, but many people can't, so you are not alone! I think in this economy, it's really the luck of the draw. Oh how I would love to just have a braindead data entry job that would pay me to just type in garbage information for money to play with, but alas!
Keep trying though. Opportunities are bound to pop up as long as you keep plugging away.
Why does it sound like your "girlfriend" is a manipulative jerk that is using you and you are suffering from battered wife syndrome? Possible it's true? I don't know "her side of the story", but if what you're saying is all true, then you don't need her in your life.
My advice would be to tell her you're not going to take anymore of her lies and cruelty (and frankly.. jerkfacedness on levels of a low tier teenage soap opera) and end that toxic relationship. Even if that means you don't feel like you have anyone that "looks out for you", you can change that by at least being the one person that looks out for yourself!
Also, if you feel your levels of frustration going out of control and wanting to harm yourself, remember to take deep breaths. You don't need to punish yourself for something you didn't do. Slow down. Open your hands (maybe lay them flat on the table if you need to) and then let them curl back up naturally. Then work the rest of your body. Slowly shrug your shoulders as you take in a breath and release and relax. Then go do a task (like reading a book, water plants, making crackers and cheese, etc.) and let the moment fade away.
If anxiety is really causing you problems with even sleeping at night, medication could help, but different lifestyle changes can help too.
I know it's hard to keep a consistent regimen because it's a habit you have to form to break out of your old habits, but have you tried practising good sleep hygiene?
Go to sleep at the same time every night. Don't overstimulate yourself, have caffeine, or drink too much a couple of hours before bed.
And also practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing and stretching and some kind of meditation a few times every day (even if it's only for 2-3 minutes each time). Even do so before sleep. Form that good habit!
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can also help, of course (learning to better strategize with your thinking so you don't trap yourself in a no-win or worst-case scenario loop).
If you have tried all those non-pharmaceutical avenues and still find that your brain is overfiring all its responses to stress, then maybe looking into medication would be a good idea to level the playing field when it comes to mind over matter.
But otherwise, it looks like you have good motivation to try to make changes in your life and create success, so good luck on those interviews! Remember, it's also you interviewing them if they are the right fit for you!
I know how that feels~
I think lots of students get to some kind of "lost in a sea of options" kind of angst at some point in their academic careers. You are no alone in that.
I have no real advice for this except that parents will always worry about your future and hoping you find stability for their own peace of mind, but people find happiness in different ways and you are going to decide how you want to live your life ultimately. But whatever you do, keep up with your passions. It's what makes your life meaningful. Even if it's just a hobby on the side, do it.
Okay.. Now.. *I* must go to sleep! Gosh.. it's almost 8am..! Have a good day, week, month everyone. Do what you can and congratulate yourself for every success and attempt.
Anyone else have have an inability to text/call back people who try to communicate with you? It's like I want to respond, but there's something in my mind that puts up a huge brick wall and I shut down completely. It honestly feels like I'm mentally retarded when it comes to reaching out to people.
Collete
Member
I actually have an inherit fear of calling people on the phone that at all costs I'll avoid calling back. (I'm quite sure there's a phobia for that) Yeah it's normal though I think. I had old friends in reality that always invited me to places but I never responded back because I never knew what to say and thought it wasn't worth it to go.
Sorry I'm late to hear about this but I'm really sorry for your loss.
It doesn't matter if they were online or not, they were still another human being behind that username or whatever it was.
Still it makes me wonder when I lose my friends like that, just how much they were close to me.
Something from Fire Emblem (sorry) I think helps mentally that the tears shed on earth helps the soul in the afterlife.
I don't know much about after life or not, but if she can see you, she would appreciate that she had a close friends that cared about her.
I'm sorry I can't offer much...
Yup. Self-imposed isolation has caused me to lose several friendships. I just feel completely broken as a person.
I feel that way to plus I have a tendency to "clam" up, it is so frustrating. Plus general anxiety and stress.
Currently doing that right now. I keep my school friends because I see them everyday, and a couple of other friends, but I am avoiding trying to find new friendships.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
+1 isolated clammed up broken person
Prax
Member
Yes. Partially because social anxiety, and partially because I'm a jerk. I can't always tell between the two issues. There is some kind of inertia or motivation barrier to get over for me to communicate with another human being, ESPECIALLY over the phone.
One of my "issues" that is pretty silly is that if I respond, they might respond back, and then I would have to respond AGAIN. For some reason that just seems like it would take so much effort to keep up that I don't do it at all. It gets really bad when I go into "recluse mode", but.. I think at this point, I have learned to accept that with little shame because I find enjoyment out of it.
If you really want to break that habit though, I think you can grind in yourself some stock responses just so it becomes automated and you can get the ball rolling. Anytime someone tests, have a few responses you'll always text back, like "hey" "let me check" "haha" "sure" "nothing much, you?" "what's up?" or something. Auto-no-think stuff so you can get over your fear/effort barrier and then hopefully the momentum keeps you going.
DodgyGeezerFella
Member
Another depressive here ....
Just don't know how to break out of it. I personally think its down to just being a complete social retard, and really not having anything I enjoy or can focus my mind on.
I had a job a year or 2 ago, in which I became a team leader, and so I had a drive to overcome some the anxiety so I could actually do the job, and I did sort of manage it. Bit more chatty with people, had a great co-worker who I got along with really well .... but then my brain did its usual thing of ruining my good run by saying I was only this good upbeat bloke at work and that's it, outside your a pussy and your only source of being comes from that job, along with everything you talk about ..... great, back to misery I go, to the point where everyone noticed and kind of backed away from me I moved on to a better job, and I like it, but i am still miserable lol.
I typically always pussy out in group conversations, and only ask questions really rather than have something to say. Even worse its when im 1 on 1 with someone, I completely clam up and cannot think of a single thing to say, whats worse is that this has creeped into the way I am with friends and family now (probably because I focus on it so much), so now I don't feel connected with them either :/
Tried some anti-depressants (I didn't want to, but I thought I had to try, too much to loose), they did jack shit. I tried going out more (clubbing, seeing friends), but still nothing could shake it. I find it insanely difficult to enjoy anything (have done for years), to the point where I don't know what I enjoy anymore.
I just pass myself off as a boring miserable person in that dark humour way to get by but I've really just had enough :/ Any other things you guys could recommend to break me of this ? I honestly feel once I can just .... talk to people properly it would change things around, but I literally just have a blank mind and feel like a rock, probably some protection thing but Its been so long since I could just relax and chat shit with people that I have no idea what it used to be like.
Long winge over, worth a shot..... shit lol.
Just don't know how to break out of it. I personally think its down to just being a complete social retard, and really not having anything I enjoy or can focus my mind on.
I had a job a year or 2 ago, in which I became a team leader, and so I had a drive to overcome some the anxiety so I could actually do the job, and I did sort of manage it. Bit more chatty with people, had a great co-worker who I got along with really well .... but then my brain did its usual thing of ruining my good run by saying I was only this good upbeat bloke at work and that's it, outside your a pussy and your only source of being comes from that job, along with everything you talk about ..... great, back to misery I go, to the point where everyone noticed and kind of backed away from me
I moved on to a better job, and I like it, but i am still miserable lol.I typically always pussy out in group conversations, and only ask questions really rather than have something to say. Even worse its when im 1 on 1 with someone, I completely clam up and cannot think of a single thing to say, whats worse is that this has creeped into the way I am with friends and family now (probably because I focus on it so much), so now I don't feel connected with them either :/
Tried some anti-depressants (I didn't want to, but I thought I had to try, too much to loose), they did jack shit. I tried going out more (clubbing, seeing friends), but still nothing could shake it. I find it insanely difficult to enjoy anything (have done for years), to the point where I don't know what I enjoy anymore.
I just pass myself off as a boring miserable person in that dark humour way to get by but I've really just had enough :/ Any other things you guys could recommend to break me of this ? I honestly feel once I can just .... talk to people properly it would change things around, but I literally just have a blank mind and feel like a rock, probably some protection thing but Its been so long since I could just relax and chat shit with people that I have no idea what it used to be like.
Long winge over, worth a shot..... shit lol.
Hey guys.
Just went into a community clinic to get evaluated and hopefully get low-cost medication. Meeting with the doctor in half an hour. It felt good talking to the nurse and enumerating my issues I've been experiencing over the past two months. This feels like a big first step towards something better.
Just went into a community clinic to get evaluated and hopefully get low-cost medication. Meeting with the doctor in half an hour. It felt good talking to the nurse and enumerating my issues I've been experiencing over the past two months. This feels like a big first step towards something better.
i'm getting better at replying to things, though i will have days where i just want to avoid everyone as i can't deal with it. my main issue is instigating social things - as soon as i think about asking someone to hang out or organizing something or meeting new people i get paralyzed by 'well why on earth would they want to hang out on me' or 'i'm sure they have much better things to do' or 'it'd just me and them and they'd realize what a fraud of a person i am when i can't say or do anything interesting. i basically never make any new friends because of this block and am very fortunate that a couple of my older friends are willing to do most of the legwork otherwise i wouldn't have any at all.
good work
good work
Rocket Scientist
Member
More of us need to do this. Congrats guy.
Dice
Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
Sorry to hear things are worse lately, Xel. Don't worry about the long post, most everyone here has posted stuff just as long. It's also very common with mental illness to become dependent on family even though family is also a major source of the problems, so a lot of people here get that, more than you'd first think. Same with the other stuff, like talking being healthy yet not wanting to stir the pot by talking to someone, but rather cope through whatever means you have, then also losing interest in that. It's all very common.
SpartanForce
Member
anyone up for chat today?
also, if anyone as see my thread: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=510144
if you have this disease, please say something.
also, if anyone as see my thread: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=510144
if you have this disease, please say something.
vatstep
This poster pulses with an appeal so broad the typical restraints of our societies fall by the wayside.
It takes at least four weeks for it to start making a difference. I started at 20mg, then went up to 40mg after a month and immediately felt something... change (probably a combination of the timing and the increase). I'm at 60mg now because my doctor says it only helps with OCD at high doses. Not sure if I'll go any higher.
I feel better than I have in a long time. I'm still trapped in the same existential funk none of my hobbies are interesting to me and most days I could probably sleep for 18 hours if I had nothing else going on, BUT I'm now able to tolerate and almost enjoy being at work. If you'd told me that I'd be saying this just a few months ago I would not have believed you. I like being busy and feeling like I'm getting things done. Stress doesn't plague me all day every day like it has in the past, the earth doesn't feel like it's going to open up and swallow me when I get a new e-mail regarding some menial task, and I no longer have an irrational fear of getting fired. I also feel like I'm actually able to be friendly and personable at work and mean it, instead of just faking it all the time.
While I'm not feeling great, and I still have my share of issues, it is just so much better than where I was for such a long time. I'm so amazed that it's working this well that I almost feel like I'm going to "jinx" it by talking about it, ha.
You guys like poetry? Here's a poem
Sometimes I Cry
Sometimes when I'm alone
I cry because I'm on my own
The tears I cry R bitter and warm
They flow with life but take no form
I cry because my heart is torn
and I find it difficult 2 carry on
if I had an ear 2 confide in
I would cry among my teasured friends
But who do u know that stops that long
to help another carry on
The world moves fast and it would rather pass u by
than 2 stop and c what makes u cry
it's painful and sad and sometimes I cry
and no one cares about why.
Poor depressed Tupac
Sometimes I Cry
Sometimes when I'm alone
I cry because I'm on my own
The tears I cry R bitter and warm
They flow with life but take no form
I cry because my heart is torn
and I find it difficult 2 carry on
if I had an ear 2 confide in
I would cry among my teasured friends
But who do u know that stops that long
to help another carry on
The world moves fast and it would rather pass u by
than 2 stop and c what makes u cry
it's painful and sad and sometimes I cry
and no one cares about why.
Poor depressed Tupac
User 100115
Banned
There are a lot of memories, thank you. She was super huge in fandom. I keep getting choked up because people are posting tributes to her, sometimes even mentioning my name since I basically trained at her knee. I owe her so much, I hope she knew how much she was loved.
That's a beautiful thought, thank you. The rest of us that knew her online are making sure to tell each other how much we all mean to each other, heh. She touched so many lives, and she was hilarious, so people keep posting funny quotes of hers to ease the pain. She was good at that too, making people laugh during a very hard time, so it's fitting.
I'm sorry to hear about that Fiction. I've never lost anyone like that (yet...) so I can't imagine how horrible you must feel right now. Feel free to rant at us all you want. That's what we're here for.
Thank you. You guys really are the best.
Well that's good to hear, I have been feeling less worrisome since being on the medication. I have a tendency to obsess over certain thoughts, good and bad thoughts. Stuff that's happened in my past whether it was with friends or whatever.
Just curious: How old are you? This certainly sounds like some childish nonsense.
And like others have said; it's better to be single than being in a toxic relationship. Use that time to find your happiness (hopefully through treatment) and meet someone who makes you a better person.
There can be so much guilt about that "I didn't get to say goodbye/tell her how much she was loved" thing. But really, I'm sure that your friendship meant the world to her. It's completely obvious that you're a very loyal, devoted friend - I think that those of us lucky enough to get to know you a bit more here in the thread or on skype are really moved by just what an incredible friend you are. If anything good can come out of losing a friend, hopefully it's that you appreciate the people in your life all the more, and you'll be more likely to let them know that.
I love writing letters and, in contrast to how silly I generally like to be, I tend to write very earnest, almost sappy (okay, pretty damn sappy - but heartfelt!) letters. Prax and I recently exchanged letters (and anyone can PM me if they know me a bit and would like a letter from me!), and I just liked committing to some kind of permanent record, in my own handwriting, that I think she's a wonderful person, an amazing friend, and a tireless force for good in this thread. I hope she knew how I felt about her without me saying it directly, but it's just really nice to know that I HAVE said it directly, and she can hold the proof in her own hands.
I think one of the best ways to deal with the death of someone you loved is to try to effect some kind of positive change in your life and carry it with you. Being an even better friend to people is wonderful, but this can also involve taking some quality that you loved about that person and making it a focus of your own life. I lost a very close friend who was a musician. I listen to way more music now, and I try to share that love of music with others (particularly my son, who is named after my deceased friend - I don't expect my son to be a copy of him or anything, but I want to expose him to a lot of music and hopefully he'll get as much out of it as I do). It's my small way of making him more present in my life and kind of carrying on his life's work in a very modest way.
- Status