Do you want kids? (Parents: how did you decide to have kids?)

Status
Not open for further replies.
I always thought kids were pretty awesome (sure there are some obnoxious little fakkers) and i thought i could be a responsible father.
Maybe it's because i had a happy childhood? Don't know. But i always wanted to become a dad some day. I still think kids are awesome. But my kid is the fucking best.

Me and my girlfriend thought about it a long time because we wanted to be in a steady financial situation. But at some point she asked me (actually, she asked me on the Empire State Building when we visited NY :)) if i wanted to try and make a baby with her.

It took two years for she got pregnant (i have slow sperm aparently) but we are extremely happy with our son. He's 6 now.
 
Renzoku said:
I want kids, but only if I know I can afford to give them a proper upbringing and that they won't bankrupt me in kind.
Click to expand...

It always amazes me how two siblings can turn out completely different. One is financially conservative, smart, tries the best to go in the right direction in life. The other can't keep a job, absolutely no money management skills, begs their parents for money all the time, etc. If I could pick and choose I would love to have one or two of the former, but I am scared to death of having one of the latter.

I have a feeling that you can try your best to give them a good upbringing, but who knows how they will turn out in the end.
 
maxcriden said:
Couple more questions for Parent-Age--

when your kid(s) act out, does it frustrate you or are you able to kind of just laugh at it in a loving way?

--and for Single-Age--

would you ever consider having a kid while you're still single, i.e. adopting as a single parent?
Click to expand...
Your kid will go through an age that will test you soul. It's usually the terrible 2s. But that doesn't last too long. The good will definitely outweigh the bad.
 
Always-honest said:
I always thought kids were pretty awesome (sure there are some obnoxious little fakkers) and i thought i could be a responsible father.
Maybe it's because i had a happy childhood? Don't know. But i always wanted to become a dad some day. I still think kids are awesome. But my kid is the fucking best.

Me and my girlfriend thought about it a long time because we wanted to be in a steady financial situation. But at some point she asked me (actually, she asked me on the Empire State Building when we visited NY :)) if i wanted to try and make a baby with her.

It took two years for she got pregnant (i have slow sperm aparently) but we are extremely happy with our son. He's 6 now.
Click to expand...

I always get the impression you're a cool and patient dad; I bet your kids are learning a lot about life watching Pikmin!
 
alfredofroylan said:
Oh heck no!!! Parenthood looks like a nightmare, you spent hours withuot sleep, stress, you lost money, time and all for what?
Click to expand...

It sounds corny, but the tender moments affected me more than I ever thought possible.

image.jpg


Taking my sons to the zoo, museums, ball games, Christmas, etc. I've also enjoyed time with my parents and brothers as an adult, and is something I look forward to when my kids start families. I will readily admit babies suck, and my opinion is you shouldn't have kids unless you have a household income in the six figures if only to cover daycare costs alone. Additionally, a two parent household makes it much easier. I don't know how single parents do it and deserve fucking medals.
 
I was dead at against kids with my ex but with my current gf we've talked about it a lot. She wants two (would have more but don't think we'd be able to afford it). Her friend is an embryologist and she checked out my sperm and got a doctor friend to check out the gf's womb etc. She produces twice as many eggs than the average and I produce 4 times as much sperm with super motility. I'm hoping for twins when we do the deed.
 
I've got two little guys (4 and 2 years old). I don't think my wife and I ever sat down (for the first one) and said "let's make a kid now", it was more a matter of being systematically careless about it because I guess we both felt it wouldn't be a disaster if it were to happen.

And it did!

I'll also say that I didn't particularly obsessed about getting kids or even felt a strong need to be a father before it happened, but once they get into your life it's the best thing ever.
 
Always-honest said:
I always thought kids were pretty awesome (sure there are some obnoxious little fakkers) and i thought i could be a responsible father.
Maybe it's because i had a happy childhood? Don't know. But i always wanted to become a dad some day. I still think kids are awesome. But my kid is the fucking best.

Me and my girlfriend thought about it a long time because we wanted to be in a steady financial situation. But at some point she asked me (actually, she asked me on the Empire State Building when we visited NY :)) if i wanted to try and make a baby with her.

It took two years for she got pregnant (i have slow sperm aparently) but we are extremely happy with our son. He's 6 now.
Click to expand...
You know why she asked you on the empire state building?
She was giving you 2 choices.
 
maxcriden said:
--and for Single-Age--

would you ever consider having a kid while you're still single, i.e. adopting as a single parent?
Click to expand...
Definitely have thought about this exact thing before, actually. If I'm secure in my finances and stuff at 35, amd I'm still single at that point, I probably really would look into giving it a shot. I mean, it's not really an optimal situation obvioisly, and I'd really appreciate having someone to not only help me out but share the experience with, but either way being a parent is an experience I'd really like to have, so I'd definitely give it heavy consideration at least if things turn out that way.
 
maxcriden said:
I always get the impression you're a cool and patient dad; I bet your kids are learning a lot about life watching Pikmin!
Click to expand...
Haha, thanx. Sadly, he only liked Pikmin 3 for a couple of hours. He was a bit too young. He loves Mario and Lego-games though. But i prefer to take him outside. He became nuts about fishing for some reason. Personally i think it's the most boring thing ever, but it's fun doing it with him.
Bulbo Urethral Baggins said:
You know why she asked you on the empire state building?
She was giving you 2 choices.
Click to expand...
Oh damn... I never even thought of what would have happened if i would have said "no".
Now i'm afraid to ask.
 
Notrollious said:
Nope. I don't like kids nor do I feel like I have the temperament to deal with a child
Click to expand...

I feel the exact same way. I used to think that I wanted kids when I was younger. I thought that that is what you do when you get older. But then my sisters had kids, and I got a look at what it's like to be a parent. Fuck that.
 
We tried to have kids for years and years before finally going to a fertility specialist. Went through 5 rounds of IUI, before the doctor told us it's time to try IVF with a donor egg because the quality of my wife's eggs were very poor.
We tried one round of IVF with her eggs and it failed. We then got a donor egg and that led to the birth of our son who's now 2.5. Since then we've tried 4 more rounds of IVF which have all failed.

It has cost us a fortune but we are extremely grateful to have even one child. We'd love to have two more but it's beginning to become cost prohibitive. So far we've spent over $60,000 in fertility procedures, all out of pocket. If all else fails we will adopt another child or two.
 
Maybe one, but only if I met the right woman first. If I knocked up some random girl I would want her to get an abortion (and before I get attacked, I would not force her to get one)
 
totally

im in a relationship with a 33 year old girl who already has a kid tho (im 25), but when we very briefly talked about it she's not at all opposed to the idea if we are in a good place financially, which is something i'd want first either way

speaking in a vacuum tho sure, would love to have kids one day
 
Tapiozona said:
We tried to have kids for years and years before finally going to a fertility specialist. Went through 5 rounds of IUI, before the doctor told us it's time to try IVF with a donor egg because the quality of my wife's eggs were very poor.
We tried one round of IVF with her eggs and it failed. We then got a donor egg and that led to the birth of our son who's now 2.5. Since then we've tried 4 more rounds of IVF which have all failed.

It has cost us a fortune but we are extremely grateful to have even one child. We'd love to have two more but it's beginning to become cost prohibitive. So far we've spent over $60,000 in fertility procedures, all out of pocket. If all else fails we will adopt another child or two.
Click to expand...
Congrats man! It's a hellish process. I know a couple who went through it all but it didn't work. In the end they divorced. I'm not sure if they considered a donor egg. Good that you did.
 
maxcriden said:
Marriage is more than stress, but it is a responsibility. I'm going to sound like Bulbo with kids, but I love being married. It's amazing. Marriage is a beautiful thing and well worth your time with the right person.
Click to expand...

I feel I'm more introverted than most. I prefer to do things that can be done alone. My idea of a good time is being at my computer, either browsing the Internet or playing a single-player game. I like to be able to go to a movie without anyone objecting. I want to travel alone so I can move at my own pace.
 
2 kids, 7 and 1. Wife and I are both in our early thirties and working in demanding public accounting jobs. It's tough, draining but immensely rewarding.

You don't love your car, job, charity work, achievement list, raid titles, free time or partner like someone loves their kids. It's amazing.

If you're a smart, compassionate and generous person, please have kids; the world needs more parents like you.
 
I would like to have kids but I need to sort my life out first and actually meet my kids' mother as well.

I am kinda getting there but finding a job is proving tough. :(

maxcriden said:
Marriage is more than stress, but it is a responsibility. I'm going to sound like Bulbo with kids, but I love being married. It's amazing. Marriage is a beautiful thing and well worth your time with the right person.
Click to expand...

You are so lucky.
 
Nope, nope. Like someone else said, I have a nephew, and my cousin's have kids and I get tired of them and I don't even have to take care of them. Especially when they are babies and very young with the crying every now and then. One of the worst sounds on the planet.
 
Rhomega Beta said:
I feel I'm more introverted than most. I prefer to do things that can be done alone. My idea of a good time is being at my computer, either browsing the Internet or playing a single-player game. I like to be able to go to a movie without anyone objecting. I want to travel alone so I can move at my own pace.
Click to expand...

This is why you have to find the person who's perfect for you. Who wants to see the movie with you, which is always better seen literally hand-in-hand. Who wants to move at the same pace together, which is always more satisfying when you're driving and you steal a brief glance over at your life partner and feel so lucky and loved and loving.

Mr-Joker said:
You are so lucky.
Click to expand...

Thank you. I really am. Also, it is admirable that you are trying to better yourself and working hard at it. I read your posts every week in the weekend plans thread and I am always impressed how diligent, productive and efficient you are with your time.
 
maxcriden said:
This is why you have to find the person who's perfect for you. Who wants to see the movie with you, which is always better seen literally hand-in-hand. Who wants to move at the same pace together, which is always more satisfying when you're driving and you steal a brief glance over at your life partner and feel so lucky and loved and loving.
Click to expand...
It sounds like you're ready for kids.
 
maxcriden said:
Haha I don't know how to respond to that. I'm sure there are plenty of people in loving, committed relationships who aren't ready to have kids!
Click to expand...
Sure. I'm just saying it sounds like you are the happily married, family oriented type. You know.... a Republican.
If it was entirely up to me, I probably still wouldn't have kids. My wife just kind of took over and made the decision for us.
For me, there's nothing like that feeling of coming home after a crappy day at work and you open the door and your seven kids run to you to hug you and look at you like you're some kind of superhero who could do no wrong. It's just you and your family and all is good.
 
Bulbo Urethral Baggins said:
Sure. I'm just saying it sounds like you are the happily married, family oriented type. You know.... a Republican.
If it was entirely up to me, I probably still wouldn't have kids. My wife just kind of took over and made the decision for us.
For me, there's nothing like that feeling of coming home after a crappy day at work and you open the door and your seven kids run to you to hug you and look at you like you're some kind of superhero who could do no wrong. It's just you and your family and all is good.
Click to expand...

Seven kids?! What kind of Republican are you, exactly? :)
 
If I am surely, positively, and absolutely ready to have a kid and face the back-breaking challenges of it, then I am only having one. Pretty much just to extend the family tree.

EDIT: Though I could just get a pet and pretend that I am doing my part in the family tree. Married without kids seems better anyway.
 
I used to think I wanted kids when I was younger, but as I've gotten older and as a result of being an older brother to my much younger siblings I realized that kids are in fact a pain in the ass and a drain of money.

I don't want any for myself, I'm too selfish for that and I'm just not interested in the commitment. I'm 27 btw.
 
"Decide to?" You mean these things happen on purpose?

My wife said "enough" after the second one, but I could have gone for three. Maybe up to like five if I thought I could afford it (and if I thought my wife wouldn't go insane and murder me in my sleep).

My kids are f'n awesome.

flaxknuckles said:
I would like to raise a kid starting with the age of 12. Babies and toddlers range from uninteresting to infuriating.
Click to expand...
Methinks you need to talk to more parents of teenagers. Although from what I hear, "more interesting" is probably true. And I'll be pleasantly surprised if my kids are any more hilarious than they've been from about 1.5 (started talking simple sentences) to (I anticipate) 5 or 6.
 
24 and no, no, nope, no. Why would I want to ruin my life? I see no value in kids. In fact I openly hate kids and have recently laughed when one slipped and crashed to the ground - annoying little noisy bugger he was.

Got a new puppy about 2 weeks ago. 8 weeks old; already knows where to poop, sit, give the paw, lie down. Show me a kid that can do that on command at that age.

puppies > babies
 
God no. No kids. No marriage. I'll take the freedom to do what I want and enjoy a very comfortable lifestyle followed by early retirement. I also think there's something highly satisfying about giving billions of years of evolution the middle finger. Suck it genes.

It also means that whenever the concept of life extension comes up and someone inevitably mentions overpopulation and how it's a bad thing that shouldn't be allowed, I can tell them to fuck off because I don't have kids.
 
Neither my Wife or I ever gave it much thought, in fact I think we both accepted that we'd probably just keep making rescue dogs very happy.

Until 2 years ago when she hit 33, her body clock went atomic and now we have a beautiful 13 month old daughter and my wife is pregnant with our son who is due January.

So it kinda snuck up on us I guess, was never on the cards but when she brought up the idea a couple of years ago it just felt right.

No regrets.

If people ever ask me how we knew we were ready it normally means one partner in a relationship is resistant to the idea.

And kids are the most life changing thing that can happen so long as you plan to be good responsible parents, so stay far far away unless both parties are wanting to take on the responsibility.
 
Photolysis said:
God no. No kids. No marriage. I'll take the freedom to do what I want and enjoy a very comfortable lifestyle followed by early retirement. I also think there's something highly satisfying about giving billions of years of evolution the middle finger. Suck it genes.

It also means that whenever the concept of life extension comes up and someone inevitably mentions overpopulation and how it's a bad thing that shouldn't be allowed, I can tell them to fuck off because I don't have kids.
Click to expand...

I like this mentality. I may use it in response to a lot of questions I receive. Mind, no-one pictures me as an adult, never mind a father. Still, saying 'Fuck off, I don't have kids' would end arguments from them annoying pro-lifer types.
 
Dad to a boy aged 4 1/2 and a girl who's just turned 3. My wife wants another but she seemingly forgets about the lack of sleep, lack of money and the overall strain a baby puts on a relationship. I found the pregnancy of my kids to be tough as well as your worrying about your partner and the baby she's carrying. The parents first year looking after a newborn is hard, hard work and there's no way I'm having another. We have the set so my argument is not to be self-centered and put all our love into what we already have.

HOWEVER, negatives aside - Having kids for me was a turning point. It turned me from a somewhat selfish individual to a caring, reliable human being. I'm so fucking proud of my kids and I'm proud of myself and my wife for giving them all the love and attention they need. Sure they can be a pain in the ass, but it gets easier and oh my god do my kids make me laugh. They are hilarious. My daughter in particular knows exactly how to make me howl (I'm bald and she thinks that the birds came down, landed on my head and eat my hair. Now when a 3 year old girl tells your that in all seriousness you can't help but cry with laughter). My son is super inquisitive and wants to know everything about everything.

They are beautiful, caring children who also have a great relationship with one another. I used to think that travelling and partying was the adventure but I honestly realise now that having kids is the real start of life's adventure.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

How would kid you think of current you?
Social  2
54
3K
Artistic replied
Well having kids is over for me!
2
80
3K
Come On Tars replied
how do you read the news?
49
1K
0neAnd0nly replied
What did you like as a kid that you grew to hate as an adult?
2 3
107
5K
Dirk Benedict replied
Do you have close friends? When's the last time you made one?
2
81
2K
Coconutt replied
Top Bottom