Drunk thread

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It is a little known fact that there is no intelligent life on the moon besides green, ice cream making rabbits and the real non-reptoid Obama who has spent the last three years up there in his moon bunker using low g and a weighted training gi to increase his ki to a level high enough so he can dunk on Steve Nash

Fuck Kevin hart
 
got my sunday day drinking on and gonna keep this buzz going into the night.

loving this extra daylight despite the fact I was like half dead when I woke up today.
 
2nite is the epic conclusion to my weekend binge adventure. 🎉 Then I need at least a couple wholesome nights at home b4 I collapse. 🚨🏥
 
so i think im dating my coworker
we havent really talked about it and weve pretty only held hands and kind of kissed while watching tv but im pretty sure were already married

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

im drinking a lagunitas pilsner, eating cold vietnamese food and am about to play some dark souls because its now the weekend
 
"Sorry to disturb you but..." has been my opening line to all my recent texts. I feel like it really works.

j2 do u still have that animated gif of the lady putting a vhs into her goggles and if so, please post. I've been trying to find it.
 
I think spending more time around cats than people has been changing me. I peed into a snow bank and my first instinct was to kick ice over it 2 cover it up. Every night when I go 2 sleep I have at least 2 cats snuggled up next 2 me. They're like little orbs of heat.
 
yNpb.gif
 
Yikes man all this shit piled up.

I haven't even eaten yet.

I'm about to go take my Mom to buy a tree, LOL. I haven't seen her in months since she screamed at me for over an hour on christmas because I wouldn't eat christmas dinner at her house because she's bein a straight shit about her and my fathers divorce.

its cool though, at work some old lady gave me miniature vegetable sculptures so im gonna give them to my mom in a show of good faith and hope we can get through this incredibly awkward trip to friedman brothers without her making shit comments about my dad.

then at 4 im going to meet my manager for drinks downtown. its gonna be cool there is a lot to talk about since im being put in charge of the webstore. in our incredibly fuzzy hierarchy she is top dog but im about to move significantly up the chain (of 6 people). so it should be a good meeting of the minds

then my new girlfriend that im going to marry is going to pick me up on the side of the road and drive me to safeway so i can grocery shop because i have absolutely have to #1 priority get that done today.

after that were gonna go back to my house and hopefully play proteus with a giant subwoofer and hold hands some more


i just need to eat something before i faint
 
Jtwo said:
Yikes man all this shit piled up.

I haven't even eaten yet.

I'm about to go take my Mom to buy a tree, LOL. I haven't seen her in months since she screamed at me for over an hour on christmas because I wouldn't eat christmas dinner at her house because she's bein a straight shit about her and my fathers divorce.

its cool though, at work some old lady gave me miniature vegetable sculptures so im gonna give them to my mom in a show of good faith and hope we can get through this incredibly awkward trip to friedman brothers without her making shit comments about my dad.

then at 4 im going to meet my manager for drinks downtown. its gonna be cool there is a lot to talk about since im being put in charge of the webstore. in our incredibly fuzzy hierarchy she is top dog but im about to move significantly up the chain (of 6 people). so it should be a good meeting of the minds

then my new girlfriend that im going to marry is going to pick me up on the side of the road and drive me to safeway so i can grocery shop because i have absolutely have to #1 priority get that done today.

after that were gonna go back to my house and hopefully play proteus with a giant subwoofer and hold hands some more


i just need to eat something before i faint
Click to expand...

Congrats in all your success. The Moonman has blessed you with good fortune. 🌜✨
 
Speaking of good fortune I just ordered a cheeseburger from a food truck and I might get a crunch wrap supreme on the way home.
 
she ladi lay ontop of me beacuse it makes me feel like youre there and i sad ill aly on to pp of you because you are tgere
 
I just used adblock to block and image for the first time ever. It was in this thread, on this page. 3 guesses which one, first 2 don't count.
 
My girlfriend just told me "you're either a part of the genderless dystopia or you chew tobacco" and I spit out my drink

Might start tweeting again with all this inspo
 
This guy filling in from another store that I've worked with a couple times wants to smoke after work. I am getting a serious narc vibe from him though. Might have to change my mind.

Edit: How can you tell if someone is a narc?

Also this chick I work with just asked me to her senior prom...wtf.
 
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