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Fake GAF 2014: Welcome to the Sahara

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Y

You Know Nothing

Member
Bravely Default outsold Lightning Returns in the US.

There seriously aren't enough laughing gifs on the internet to convey how hard I am laughing right now.

Shartning her ARTPOP era.
 
A

AcridMeat

Banned
Sharks win on a big play from big pavs, followed by FP1 of the new F1 season. hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng

untitled-9xyuhv.gif

HE'S BACK
 
T

ThoseDeafMutes

Member
Fuck the GMG version is censored too, I thought it wouldn't be

>:3

Now I'm going to have to get someone who lives overseas to do it for me and paypal them.
 
T

ThoseDeafMutes

Member
WhereAreMahDragonz said:
As always.

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w38/poetrylach/cryingbaldeagle.gif[img][/QUOTE]

Thanks, I can already feel the liberty washing over me.


[quote="Monosukoi, post: 104292927"]I got my copy for £12 off some guy from either Russia or Honduras, I couldn't figure out which.[/QUOTE]

Russia and Honduras are basically the same thing anyway.
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Y

You Know Nothing

Member
I can't stick with a game until I figure it out anymore. These days if I get stuck for five minutes, I'm looking that shit up in a guide.

I have no patience for it anymore.
 
T

ThoseDeafMutes

Member
You Know Nothing said:
I can't stick with a game until I figure it out anymore. These days if I get stuck for five minutes, I'm looking that shit up in a guide.

I have no patience for it anymore.
Click to expand...

Admittedly my patience is very short these days too. In certain kinds of games anyway.

I'm happy to invest an hour and a half of my life micromanaging the Soviet Union's 1936 Order of Battle, or meticulously plan an invasion of Italy, but I'm stuck in a Zelda game for five minutes? Time to play something else.
 
T

ThoseDeafMutes

Member
WhereAreMahDragonz said:
TDM, that reminds me. I've been having an itch to play some strategy games like that, but I've already played enough Civ 5. Got any recommendations?
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I absolutely do but it depends on what kind of experience you're looking for. The Paradox strategy stable has the following game series in it:

- Crusader Kings
- Europa Universalis
- Victoria
- Hearts of Iron

Each game series has a different focus. I'll try to summarize as concisely as possible. I arranged them above in order of time period - Crusader Kings is Middle Ages, Europa Universalis covers the Renaissance and Early Modern period, Victoria is the Victorian period until 1936, and Hearts of Iron covers a very short time span between 1936-1948. (Side note: you can actually get save converters to import one end-game file into the start of the next)

Crusader Kings has you playing as a Dynasty rather than a country. You take over a character who is a medieval noble of some kind (Count, Duke, King, Emperor) and when that character dies, you play as your primary Heir. If you die without an heir of your own dynasty, it's game over. It models internal country politics, where the "King" is only actually in charge of one small fraction of the country directly, and the rest is under the control of a host of feudal lords who are "technically" vassals of the king, but must be kept happy or occasionally murdered to prevent rebellions and/or attempts to sieze power for themselves. You do all sorts of period-appropriate things like bribing the Pope to gain his favor, gaining the throne of other countries by using strategic marriages (and strategic assassinations to make sure it's YOUR son who is first in line...), launching holy wars on Muslims to drive them out of the Holy Land, fabricating dubious claims onto the holdings of your neighbors, marrying off your sons and daughters to secure alliances with other countries... and of course warfare with other countries. You are not necessarily the top guy in your country, you can choose to play an underling and overthrow the king / break away and form your own nation. But anything you can do, the AI can do too, and often does. It's basically Game of Thrones: RL edition. And actually there's a fantastic Game of Thrones mod for the game!

Europa Universalis is a more normal strategy game. You play as a country rather than a dynasty, and its a bit more abstract at most levels. Although it covers a different period of time, so it has colonialism, a map covering the entire world (you can play as the Aztecs or Ming Chinese if you want!), gunpowder units and so on. The combat is a bit better than CK, it has a trade system, it has the French revolution (depending on global circumstances, it doesn't necessarily always happen) and so on. I'm not making this sound all that cool really, but it's a blast starting as a small country and working your way to becoming a dominant world power. It's a "jack of all trades" as far as these games go, and it strikes a good balance between the more in depth mechanics that some of the other games have. There are no "victory conditions" for this game, or CK2 actually. You play to achieve whatever goals you want. The latest entry in the series, EUIV, is the most accessible Paradox strategy game so far, so I probably recommend cutting your teeth with this one. This is the series I've put the most time into overall.

Victoria has the most complicated politics and trade system. It also features industrialisation and great power games. Great Powers are the top 8 nations in the game (and it's flexible, other countries can become Great Powers and knock someone out of the top 8), and have a sphere of influence and competing interests. If models internal revolutions by the people in a fairly complex way, you have to manage the "militancy" (readiness to break out into armed rebellion) and "consciousness" (their awareness of social issues) of your people. At the same time, you're trying to educate your people better so they're more effective citizens of the world and will boost your country's technological and industrial development. You pass political reforms (e.g. caps on the amount of hours you work, unemployment subsisdies) to keep your country pacified and maintain as much power as possible. Or maybe you don't give any concessions and experience a communist revolution, then decide to go spreading the revolution on an international scale. Perhaps a World War might even break out! Victoria 2 is probably my least favorite of the current Paradox games, but it's not really bad. Just not my cup of tea.

Hearts of Iron is the most combat focussed game. It's the shortest in duration but the most detailed and you'll spend a lot of time paused or at the slowest speed managing things. It is a simulation of World War II down to the Brigade level (formations of 1000-3000 men). You can play as any country in the world, just like EU and Victoria, and you can try to replicate historical events or deviate from history in some way. Want to play USA and then fight World War III against the Russians after you finish Germany off? Possible. Want to play as Australia and try to fend off the Japanese until American reinforcements come? Possible. Want to make the Axis win WWII? Also possible. HoI is a great game but easily the most overwhelming and complicated of the series. The inclusion of a logisics system makes the combat much more complex than it otherwise would be. You're not just building armies and smashing htem against each other, you have to maintain supply lines and worry about terrain, weather and infrastructure. There are so many mechanics that are unexplained and confusing. There is so much to do. But if you can get into it, there are few games as satisfying.

All of these games are multiplayer, and I'm happy to sit in an MP game with you and show you the ropes if you want.

EDIT: Woah that post took ages to write up! And was much longer than I meant it to be.
 
W

WhereAreMahDragonz

Banned
Thanks for your recommendations! I'll probably go with EUIV and Crusader Kings.

Both sound like a lot of fun.

Crusader Kings specifically sounds like a blast. I love the living component of strategy games, and if it's like GoT, I'm sold.
 
T

ThoseDeafMutes

Member
I should note that it's Crusader Kings II you're after, and there's a bunch of DLC that you'll probably want to buy when it's on sale. Unless you want to stick with European Christians. They add stuff like being able to play Muslims, Pagan Vikings, etc. Most of the DLC is cosmetic but there's a few ones that are actually important.

EUIV is fine with just the base game at the moment.

Also, Monosukoi, you cannot be me. I will not allow it.
 
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