Because it's one of the most absurd news articles to read... Lots of fear mongering and poorly derived conspiracies. I have some real news for you though, if you went out shopping today, touched something on the shelves at wal mart or at starbucks or at the bus stop etc, chances are, you got someone else's semen and fecal matter on yourself. Lab test would absolutely prove this... Don't get me started on hotel rooms.
I am willing to bet this is a hypercondriac parent flipping their lid, fabricating a semen bombed flute conspiracy.