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[Shanks D Zoro]

There are two types of men.

1. Those who have paid for sex
2. Those who lie about not paying for sex.

 

[Milchmonster]

he did the right thing, a blow job that chap can't be safe, its like cheap vodka...

Well, sure. The thing that cracks me up is when he said something like "I really should have done it." :lol

 

[Wilbur]

There are two types of men.

1. Those who have paid for sex
2. Those who lie about not paying for sex.

I havent m8

In amsterdam i was real scared because I hadn't had sex for like 7 months and didn't want to be sober and unable to achieve an erection in front of a fucking prostitute

And then my mate wanted three of us to go in at once and she would only allow two so i ruled myself out as he and another went to plow

Then later on the space cake and jäger bombs kicked in and i was really horny and kinda slowly fucking my bed and wanted to get up and go but i couldnt remember how to get to the RLD

 

[Splatt]

PoolGAF. This will be your favourite article of the entire season.

This is my favourite article of the entire season.

 

[Milchmonster]

Hermes

I made a deal with myself to write applications for an internship until my 3DS arrives. I've been on it for 3 hours and not finished a single one. Pls come and save me from this misery

 

[CCS]

The first girl I had sex with turned out to be a lesbian. Still don't know how I'm supposed to feel about that.

 

[Splatt]

The first girl I had sex with turned out to be a lesbian. Still don't know how I'm supposed to feel about that.

Depends if she was lesbian before or after the intercourse

 

[Yurt]

Transistor is mesmerizing. I'm pretty sure I don't know what I'm doing but this whole sword talking to me through the joystick is so brilliant

Nathan I wanna fucking slap you I swear

 

[Shanks D Zoro]

I havent m8

In amsterdam i was real scared because I hadn't had sex for like 7 months and didn't want to be sober and unable to achieve an erection in front of a fucking prostitute

And then my mate wanted three of us to go in at once and she would only allow two so i ruled myself out as he and another went to plow

Then later on the space cake and jäger bombs kicked in and i was really horny and kinda slowly fucking my bed and wanted to get up and go but i couldnt remember how to get to the RLD

Lol, I have a friend who wanted the rest of us to all bang the same thai prostitute so she can tell us who has the biggest dick and who is the best in bed.

He spent two hours going on about it over XMAS dinner.

Now he has fallen out with the guy with her number so luckily that is iff the cards

 

[Facism]

In Ibiza you get the African blowjob girls that appear out of ally-ways.

Our convo went.

"Hello der boys, u like blowjobs?"

"Errrrrm, yes?"

"20 Euro"

"How about 5"

"Okay, lets go"

Driving down prices.

3sixty you could fix Greece.

Transistor is mesmerizing. I'm pretty sure I don't know what I'm doing but this whole sword talking to me through the joystick is so brilliant

Nathan I wanna fucking slap you I swear

You got plus, then? Find it for cheap anywhere?

---

I've never understood why guys want to share a prostitute or fuck one at the same time. Are they that lacking in ability and stamina that they need someone to tag in?

 

[Broder Salsa]

There are two types of men.

1. Those who have paid for sex
2. Those who lie about not paying for sex.

I haven't. But m8, when I get older I certainly will. It's not like just because I turn 70, that the 20 year olds get less hot for me. I'm not going to be sticking it into some 70 year old pussy, even if I'm that old myself.

Going to a masquerade ball, which this 21 year old psychology student convinced me to go to. I have to pay for masks and shit, so I guess in a way that is paying for sex too. I'm pretty sure she wants it though.

The first girl I had sex with turned out to be a lesbian. Still don't know how I'm supposed to feel about that.

One girl I a very drunk night fooled around with, ended up in a mental institution not long after.

Edit: Jebus christ. Premfaces.com needs some auto resizer.

 

[jts]

make sure you take your phone and a few magazines into the shitter with you mate

I'm currently in the process of dumping last night's curry :X

Yep. Charging phone's battery as we speak.

Tbh I have no idea when it will hit though. Sodium picosulfate.

There are two types of men.

1. Those who have paid for sex
2. Those who lie about not paying for sex.

If paying indirectly (meals, general expenses with gfs etc) doesn't count than I'm not in either.

I've considered it but never went through.

Even have a rather embarrassing story about going to a strip club / brothel and as my 2 friends went to get laid I got approached and was constantly refusing service, then she asked if I would buy her a drink and I did, was like "sure". Fuck me when I got to pay for it when we were leaving. Got fucking scammed out of like 70 euro or how much that was.

edit: DYING with the #big #costa #cuntface

 

[CCS]

Depends if she was lesbian before or after the intercourse

I don't know. She was 16, we'd been flirting for a while, we fucked, then a few months later she was going out with a girl. Made me question my prowess for a bit :lol

 

[Shanks D Zoro]

I haven't. But m8, when I get older I certainly will. It's not like just because I turn 70, that the 20 year olds get less hot for me. I'm not going to be sticking it into some 70 year old pussy, even if I'm that old myself.

Going to a masquerade ball, which this 21 year old psychology student convinced me to go to. I have to pay for masks and shit, so I guess in a way that is paying for sex too. I'm pretty sure she wants it though.

One girl I a very drunk night fooled around with, ended up in a mental institution not long after.

Ok there are three types of men.

3. Those who will pay for sex in the future.

Sounds like you are fully qualified to run Italy/ own AC Milan in the future.

 

[Yurt]

Not me bb.

When I said "All of the Juventini can fuck off!" there was a hidden asterisk excepting you.

Looooooooool why thank you kind sir 🙅

I love you Yurt.
We have to plan in a small break though, due the CL games, but we can be together again when Bloodborne hits the market <3.

I won't unfollow you.

Penny bb, we both know that you're gonna win&#128557;&#128557;&#128557;&#128557;

You called MGS GZ a demo. You are dead to me.

But it really was. You guys shouldn't encourage developers to do this -_-

Your avatar

alright any other suggestions? I'm out of ideas

 

[Splatt]

I don't know. She was 16, we'd been flirting for a while, we fucked, then a few months later she was going out with a girl. Made me question my prowess for a bit :lol

Shit yo :lol:

 

[Wilbur]

Transistor is mesmerizing. I'm pretty sure I don't know what I'm doing but this whole sword talking to me through the joystick is so brilliant

Nathan I wanna fucking slap you I swear

please understand the hotel was so far away

i would have lost the buzz by the time i got there

 

[CCS]

Christ that's terrifying on mobile :lol

 

[Facism]

I don't know. She was 16, we'd been flirting for a while, we fucked, then a few months later she was going out with a girl. Made me question my prowess for a bit :lol

Rejoice, for she thought you were the pinnacle of the gender.

 

[CCS]

Shit yo :lol:

She was proper fit as well. Mind you I was with guys for a bit after that so it was clearly traumatic all round :lol

Ok there are three types of men.

3. Those who will pay for sex in the future.

Sounds like you are fully qualified to run Italy/ own AC Milan in the future.

/dead

 

[Bold One]

I don't know. She was 16, we'd been flirting for a while, we fucked, then a few months later she was going out with a girl. Made me question my prowess for a bit :lol

probably Bi...

dont worry mate, you probably made her afraid of another pounding so she took a break from cock

 

[CCS]

probably Bi...

dont worry mate, you probably made her afraid of another pounding so she took a break from cock

Sadly I know she identifies as lesbian now.

Rejoice, for she thought you were the pinnacle of the gender.

Cheers m8

 

[Shanks D Zoro]

probably Bi...

dont worry mate, you probably made her afraid of another pounding so she took a break from cock

Fucking hell.

Reading in that Transgemder thread and then coming back to FootyGAF just makes me want to say I love you all.

LegitBanter

 

[FlutterPuffs]

This is my favorite thread on the internet.

 

[Facism]

Sadly I know she identifies as lesbian now.



Cheers m8

She had to taste the best White Wine before she truly decided that she preferred the Red.

 

[Shanks D Zoro]

She had to taste the best White Wine before she truly decided that she preferred the Red.

Sensational

 

[tri_willy]

PoolGAF. This will be your favourite article of the entire season.

feels like a new signing

 

[CCS]

She had to taste the best White Wine before she truly decided that she preferred the Red.

Amazing.

Also, I'd fuck a transgender. But then I have a less complicated worldview than most.

 

[Milchmonster]

http://www.11freunde.de/video/der-fan-der-stunde

Gala fan trying to get a whole crate of beer into the stadium

What a guy

 

[windfish]

Hermes

I made a deal with myself to write applications for an internship until my 3DS arrives. I've been on it for 3 hours and not finished a single one. Pls come and save me from this misery

lol this is how i felt during work for the last days, my order should have been here yesterday but hermes messed it up and it (thankfully) got delivered today, never had a Problem with them before but this shit really got to my nerves, was checking for delivery every 10 minutes :/

 

[Yurt]

3sixty you could fix Greece.



You got plus, then? Find it for cheap anywhere?

---

I've never understood why guys want to share a prostitute or fuck one at the same time. Are they that lacking in ability and stamina that they need someone to tag in?

The free* 14 days trial :lol


*they still took 0.10 GBP from me. I'm gonna sue them

Please understand the hotel was so far away

i would have lost the buzz by the time i got there

dude next time sleep with those expensive supermodel types, they go with you to your hotel room innit

 

[Wilbur]

One of my friends used to be a lesbian but then she denounced it and only sleeps with guys now

We asked her what happened and she basically said she liked the taste of cum more than minge batter

what a sensational reason

 

[Bold One]

Amazing.

Also, I'd fuck a transgender. But then I have a less complicated worldview than most.

thats cool,

would you be giving or receiving in this situation?

 

[Shanks D Zoro]

I love the Always Sunny episode when Mac fights gay marriag. Calls the guy married to the post op tranny gay when he banged her while she still had a cock.

I love Sunny

 

[Splatt]

would you be giving or receiving in this situation?

whynotboth.gif

 

[Wilbur]

I love the Always Sunny episode when Mac fights gay marriag. Calls the guy married to the post op tranny gay when he banged her while she still had a cock.

I love Sunny

When he starts quoting the bible at her and her fiance and then he starts talking about keeping slaves

"Yeah but that's not what I'm talking about"

:lol

 

[CCS]

thats cool,

would you be giving or receiving in this situation?

I'd prefer giving, but either works :lol

That whole thread reminded me of the time I got into an argument about whether I was racist for finding whites/Asians more attractive than blacks.

 

[Yurt]

You know Nathan, if you date a bisexual woman/man, there's a high probability of ending up in a threesome eventually

let's start looking

 

[Facism]

She wanted the biggest, juiciest steak before she committed to a life of becoming a vegan.

I could go on all day but they get worse with each comment and i'd probably get banned eventually

 

[Wilbur]

Guardian just put up a decent interview with Costa

You know Nathan, if you date a bisexual woman/man, there's a high probability of ending up in a threesome eventually

let's start looking

only if we stare intently into each others eyes as we reach the vinegar strokes

what's your safe word, yurt?

is it marotta

 

[CCS]

You know Nathan, if you date a bisexual woman/man, there's a high probability of ending up in a threesome eventually

let's start looking

True that.

She wanted the biggest, juiciest steak before she committed to a life of becoming a vegan.

New favourite poster :lol

 

[Shanks D Zoro]

I'd prefer giving, but either works :lol

That whole thread reminded me of the time I got into an argument about whether I was racist for finding whites/Asians more attractive than blacks.

I started off liking white, then went through a black phase, now all about the Asians. But yesterday I watched a video with two women in head scarves. Time to go join Yurt In the dessert.

 

[Scum]

TRANSFER GOSSIP
Manchester City have been told they will have to pay £40m if they want to sign Porto's attacking midfielder Yacine Brahimi, 25. (Talksport)
Real Madrid are considering a move to take 22-year-old striker Alvaro Morata - a Liverpool, Arsenal and Manchester United target - back to the Bernabeu from Juventus after one season away. (Daily Express)
Striker Romelu Lukaku, 21, who joined Everton for £28m from Chelsea in the summer, says he plans to leave the Toffees for a "top club" in the future. (Sun - subscription required)
Swansea City hope to strengthen their squad in the summer by signing Romanian midfielder Alexandru Maxim, 24, from Stuttgart and Serbian striker Aleksandar Mitrovic, 20, from Anderlecht. (South Wales Evening Post)
Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers was photographed in the Vatican City on Thursday after flying to Rome in a bid to sort out a deal for Roma's Bosnia midfielder Miralem Pjanic, 24. (Daily Mail)
West Ham striker Carlton Cole says a shouting match with boss Sam Allardyce has eased the tension at Upton Park, after he missed out on a £5m contract at West Brom on deadline day. (Daily Mail)

OTHER GOSSIP
Paul Lambert told Aston Villa chairman Randy Lerner to sack him twice this season before he was finally dismissed as manager on Wednesday by telephone. (Telegraph)
Former Manchester United midfielder Paul Scholes says Louis van Gaal's team is not living up to its attacking ethos and taking enough risks going forward. (Independent)
Celtic boss Ronny Deila believes the English Premier League is boring despite the new £5.1bn television deal. (Daily Record)
Newcastle's Netherlands right-back Daryl Janmaat, 25, says his team always play positive despite having only one shot on target in the 1-1 draw with Crystal Palace. (Newcastle Journal)
Arsenal striker Olivier Giroud, 28, says he could have been playing against the Gunners in the FA Cup this weekend, having turned down a move to Middlesbrough as well as Celtic in 2012. (Arsenal.com)
Angel Di Maria, 26, is happy at Manchester United despite the ongoing speculation surrounding his future, according to his agent Jorge Mendes. (Daily Express)
Meanwhile the French club have offered centre-half Marquinhos, 20, a new contract to avoid losing him to Manchester United in the summer. (Daily Express)
Manchester City midfielder Samir Nasri says league leaders Chelsea are "nothing special". (Guardian)
Liverpool midfielder Jordan Henderson, 24, has been working on his fitness by taking boxing tips from Amir Khan and in return he has been teaching the boxer how to play football. (Mirror)
Hull's veteran defender Liam Rosenior, 30, is close to agreeing a new deal with the club. (Hull Daily Mail)

BEST OF SOCIAL MEDIA
Liverpool have revealed on Instagram that defender Alberto Moreno, 22, has been learning how to celebrate with a little bit of help from team-mate Daniel Sturridge.
Midfielder Samir Nasri has tweeted that second-placed Manchester City will fight to the finish to pip Chelsea for the Premier League title.
Liverpool keeper Brad Jones says that the "gloves are back on" after returning to training following six weeks out with injury.
Manchester City's Ivory Coast midfielder Yaya Toure dedicated their Africa Cup of Nations victory to former Les Elephants striker Didier Drogba. He tweeted: "We all wished you were there with us Didier Drogba, but we did the job to make you proud and I know you are proud big man!!"

AND FINALLY...
Jose Mourinho replied to a six-year-old Aston Villa fan who requested the Chelsea boss join the managerless club and take Diego Costa with him. (Daily Mail)
Manchester City midfielder Frank Lampard made a point of swapping shirts with Stoke youngster Oliver Shenton on Wednesday, after the 17-year-old made his first-team debut just two days after the funeral of his mother. (Metro)

.

 

[GorillaJu]

Guardian loves doing interviews with banned players

 

[Shanks D Zoro]

Guardian loves doing interviews with banned players

Socialist paper all about fighting the system. Power to the people

 

[Bold One]

I'd prefer giving, but either works :lol

That whole thread reminded me of the time I got into an argument about whether I was racist for finding whites/Asians more attractive than blacks.

I've dated just about every creed of woman except white women, which is weird because I find white women attractive, circumstances and timing.

As for trans... well up until that thread, it never crossed my mind what with the 3 billion other cis women in the world...

 

[Walshy]

.

Lukaku endearing himself to the Everton faithful by saying he wants to leave and by giving the interview to the s*n.

 

[Yurt]

True that.



New favourite poster :lol

Don't tell me you were not aware of the glory that is Facism before

what's your safe word, yurt?

is it marotta

ci può stare

 

[CCS]

I've dated just about every creed of woman except white women, which is weird because I find white women attractive, circumstances and timing.

As for trans... well up until that thread, it never crossed my mind what with the 3 billion other cis women in the world...

Just fuck em all. Think of them as pokemon and your dick as the pokedex.

Don't tell me you were not aware of the glory that is Facism before

ci può stare

I was not fully aware of the magnitude of his glory :lol

 

[Broder Salsa]

Lukaku endearing himself to the Everton faithful by saying he wants to leave and by giving the interview to the s*n.

@paddypower · 1h 1 hour ago
Romelu Lukaku says he wants to leave Everton and play for "a top club". "I want to be a waste of money on a much higher level," he added.¨