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Football Thread 2013-14 |OT2| Caravanning all the way to France

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B

bud

Member
that is such an absurd price for a player who will almost certainly fail. let's face it, he's not a right winger; he most certainly wouldn't be playing in the middle; and there's no way in hell he's ever taking ronaldo's spot.

madrid are such a ridiculous club. all florentino has to show for in his second term is one pathetic league title.

the spurs would be idiots for not selling him for that price, though.
 
S

Scum

Junior Member
bud said:
that is such an absurd price for a player who will almost certainly fail. let's face it, he's not a right winger; he most certainly wouldn't be playing in the middle; and there's no way in hell he's ever taking ronaldo's spot.

madrid are such a ridiculous club. all florentino has to show for in his second term is one pathetic league title.

the spurs would be idiots for not selling him for that price, though.
Click to expand...

Enough about Bale, bud. Waa gwan wid dat laydee next door?
 
B

bud

Member
i met her on okcupid. the sex was terrible. the blowjob could literally not be worse. i am by no means big, but she couldn't get past the head without trying to saw my dick in half with her teeth.

and i actually faked an orgasm.

maybe condoms are, i dunno, suffocating my dick, but when i have one on it sometimes goes flaccid quite easily. when i have it off, it goes and stays hard easily. i've never tried one of the thinner condoms, though, but part of me is afraid they might tear.

also, it is practically impossible for me to come when having sex. when i'm jerking off, i can orgasm literally within 30 seconds. but with a woman it's practically impossible. i had the same problems climaxing the last time i had sex.

anyway, it took such a long time and i was so bored that i just faked it.

and even though she took a shower and cleaned herself up and everything, it still had this awful fishy smell. that was the biggest turn-off of the night.
 
R

rodvik

Member
bud said:
i met her on okcupid. the sex was terrible. the blowjob could literally not be worse. i am by no means big, but she couldn't get past the head without trying to saw my dick in half with her teeth.

and i actually faked an orgasm.

maybe condoms are, i dunno, suffocating my dick, but when i have one on it sometimes goes flaccid quite easily. when i have it off, it goes and stays hard easily. i've never tried one of the thinner condoms, though, but part of me is afraid they might tear.

also, it is practically impossible for me to come when having sex. when i'm jerking off, i can orgasm literally within 30 seconds. but with a woman it's practically impossible. i had the same problems climaxing the last time i had sex.

anyway, it took such a long time and i was so bored that i just faked it.

and even though she took a shower and cleaned herself up and everything, it still had this awful fishy smell. that was the biggest turn-off of the night.
Click to expand...

Grab a beer and watch a football match son. Thats a rough night.
 
S

Scum

Junior Member
bud said:
i met her on okcupid. the sex was terrible. the blowjob could literally not be worse. i am by no means big, but she couldn't get past the head without trying to saw my dick in half with her teeth.

and i actually faked an orgasm.

maybe condoms are, i dunno, suffocating my dick, but when i have one on it sometimes goes flaccid quite easily. when i have it off, it goes and stays hard easily. i've never tried one of the thinner condoms, though, but part of me is afraid they might tear.

also, it is practically impossible for me to come when having sex. when i'm jerking off, i can orgasm literally within 30 seconds. but with a woman it's practically impossible. i had the same problems climaxing the last time i had sex.

anyway, it took such a long time and i was so bored that i just faked it.

and even though she took a shower and cleaned herself up and everything, it still had this awful fishy smell. that was the biggest turn-off of the night.
Click to expand...
:-(

You should be a porn star if you already aren't. ;-)
Grab a drink and laugh at the Bale transfer muppetry. Wilbury could end up with a hilarious avatar soon. lol
 
M

Major_Lazer

Member
bud said:
i met her on okcupid. the sex was terrible. the blowjob could literally not be worse. i am by no means big, but she couldn't get past the head without trying to saw my dick in half with her teeth.

and i actually faked an orgasm.

maybe condoms are, i dunno, suffocating my dick, but when i have one on it sometimes goes flaccid quite easily. when i have it off, it goes and stays hard easily. i've never tried one of the thinner condoms, though, but part of me is afraid they might tear.

also, it is practically impossible for me to come when having sex. when i'm jerking off, i can orgasm literally within 30 seconds. but with a woman it's practically impossible. i had the same problems climaxing the last time i had sex.

anyway, it took such a long time and i was so bored that i just faked it.

and even though she took a shower and cleaned herself up and everything, it still had this awful fishy smell. that was the biggest turn-off of the night.
Click to expand...
I'd like to tell you at least you had sex but it seems you would've enjoyed yourself more if you didn't.
 
S

Slizz

Member
Messi said:
WUT. IVE not seen db yet. booooyyyy.

spoiler
Click to expand...

I haven't even heard of Drinking Buddies until this morning cause of the PM I sent you.


Been looking forward to the To-Do list, unfortunately all the safe for TV commercials have been awful.
 
B

bud

Member
HbgBOIP.png
 
G

GQman2121

Banned
Bad blow jobs are so awkward because you know you should just be thankful, but it's so difficult to when they seem so eager to please. Nothing makes a dick go soft faster than a teeth draggier though. And there's nothing that kills a mood like having to coach.
 
G

GorillaJu

Member
GQman2121 said:
Bad blow jobs are so awkward because you know you should just be thankful, but it's so difficult to when they seem so eager to please. Nothing makes a dick go soft faster than a teeth draggier though. And there's nothing that kills a mood like having to coach.
Click to expand...

Indeed. My first blow-j was awful and toothy too. And like bud's experience, her vag smelled like someone stuck a dead fish in a jar of milk then left it in the sun for a week. It was awful. I couldn't get the smell off my finger.
 
K

KidA Seven

Member
U

Ushojax

Should probably not trust the 7-11 security cameras quite so much
Looks like Soldado is definitely joining us, all the Spanish press are saying Baldini finalised the transfer last night. Hopefully it's done by Monday and he can feature against Monaco.

With him we will have a fucking good team. Levy has made all the right moves this summer, now we need to gird our loins and ignore Real Madrid's phone calls for 3 weeks.
 
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