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[Wilbur]

Your Director of Football is Joe Kinnear. Your manager has a 7 year contract. Your best defender can't wait to leave. The right back you salivated over for months is shit anyway. Your only striker who's ever been good hides behind his religion so he could get a payrise. You're sponsored by a gang of loansharks. You haven't won anything since like 1935. Nobody is interested in buying your best players, because they're still brass. Your defensive midfielder is incapable of kicking a ball with any degree of accuracy, and commits more fouls than successful passes. You used to employ Nile Ranger. You still employ Shola Ameobi. You blew away the half-season wonder, and got yourselves a 3-game wonder. You're owned by Mike Ashley. Your stadium was, for a time, called the Sports Direct Arena. You're going to get relegated this season.

Fuck off

I'm so sad no one responded positively to my fanfic. I put blood, sweat and other fluids into that.

Way to make a junior feel welcome guys...

I said it was good you schmuck!

 

[Naughty God]

Why don't other clubs do it then?

Because the majority of them aren't owned by the Glazers, but by people that are actually football fans.

Arsenal have been doing it for years.

 

[Salvadora]

Why don't other clubs do it then?

We only have to look across the water to see the major Spanish clubs linked with every player in the universe.

It's Bob in Hull who gets out of his white van to pick up a ploughman's lunch and a copy of the Sun, seeing that Ronnie is coming home.

 

[Broder Salsa]

The fact that we haven't signed a world class player in his prime for the going rate since Veron in 2001 has certainly damaged our reputation.

RVP is world class and you got him in his absolute prime.

 

[Vivalaraza]

I believe that Ed Woodward believes that.

The fact that we haven't signed a world class player in his prime for the going rate since Veron in 2001 has certainly damaged our reputation.

Our failure to land any of our "top targets", i.e. Barcelona's Cesc Fabregas, 26, or Real Madrid's Luka Modric, 27, and having to settle for the likes of Everton's Marouane Fellaini, 25, or Wigan's James McCarthy, 22, is damaging our reputation and making us look like the joke of European football.

That's a separate issue.

United are linked with numerous players every summer, some of them genuine targets we don't get for reasons we all know...and some others because they're just rumours.

If United were purposely leaking names to the media to try and sell season tickets, they would have stopped doing it by now because it doesn't work. We haven't sold out season tickets for a good few years now. The logic behind that argument is just plain inconsistent. It's a nice theory for a cynic but there's very little evidence for it.

 

[Kyoufu]

RVP is world class and you got him in his absolute prime.

RVP is world class against Aston Villa.

 

[Willkiller]

Oh c'mon, you know I could make a post like that If I had the time (watching Luther), based on Kenny's return reign alone!

Newcastle maybe a joke, but at least it's a funny one. Watching the ghost of Liverpool floating about isn't really funny at all.

 

[Sleeplessnights]

BB:

Dat Danny Trejo :O

I have a bit of a crush on

Spoiler

Jesse's landlord

S2 is awesome so far, not moving or twisting as quickly as the first, but its still great

Well

 

[Naughty God]

RVP is world class and you got him in his absolute prime.

RVP is world class and he is in his prime, the only issue is that we waited until he was in the last year of his contract to sign the Dutchman, 29.

United have a reputation of bargain hunters. The going rate for a player of RVP's ability is double what we paid for him. It's affected our reputation which is why we're never linked to the top talents except for when Woodward leaks such bullshit to the press.

 

[Wilbur]

RVP is world class and he is in his prime, the only issue is that we waited until he was in the last year of his contract to sign the Dutchman, 29

please may i ask why you post like this

it confuses me greatly

 

[Sleeplessnights]

RVP is world class against Aston Villa.

And Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, City. what's your point?

I'm so sad no one responded positively to my fanfic. I put blood, sweat and other fluids into that.

Way to make a junior feel welcome guys...

Juniors have to work for their spot, we're afraid of getting in love with one since there's always the fear of them getting perm'd.

We've had too many casualties.

 

[Broder Salsa]

Well

10/10 Would chase the dragon with.

 

[Naughty God]

That's a separate issue.

United are linked with numerous players every summer, some of them genuine targets we don't get for reasons we all know...and some others because they're just rumours.

If United were purposely leaking names to the media to try and sell season tickets, they would have stopped doing it by now because it doesn't work. We haven't sold out season tickets for a good few years now. The logic behind that argument is just plain inconsistent. It's a nice theory for a cynic but there's very little evidence for it.

How do you know it doesn't work? This is the first team we've done anything like this.

 

[Willkiller]

please may i ask why you post like this

it confuses me greatly

He studies journalism

Spoiler

In Bedfordshire

 

[Sleeplessnights]

please may i ask why you post like this

it confuses me greatly

What's wrong with posting like this Wilbur, hairless?

 

[FootballFan]

RVP is world class and he is in his prime, the only issue is that we waited until he was in the last year of his contract to sign the Dutchman, 29.

Pls.

 

[Chipotle]

I said it was good you schmuck!

aw shucks. I take it back

 

[Naughty God]

please may i ask why you post like this

it confuses me greatly

That's just how I type.

 

[jtb]

why does reputation even matter? especially if its for something harmless like bargain buying—isn't that a good thing?

 

[The_Hitcher89]

why does reputation even matter? especially if its for something harmless like bargain buying—isn't that a good thing?

Have I missed something?

 

[Salvadora]

United have made lots of non-bargain buys in recent years, anyway. De Gea certainly wasn't cheap, nor Jones.

 

[Scum]

YES! Homeworld and Homeworld 2 found! \o/

 

[Chipotle]

United have made lots of non-bargain buys in recent years, anyway. De Gea certainly wasn't cheap, nor Jones.

nor Young...

 

[Salazar]

It's gone beyond pessimism into squealing baby noises territory now.

Joke of European football, lol. You are sub-redcafe material.

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

why does reputation even matter? especially if its for something harmless like bargain buying—isn't that a good thing?

wot u on bout m8

 

[Vivalaraza]

How do you know it doesn't work? This is the first team we've done anything like this.

Really?

You forgetting all the players we've been linked to the last few summers?

 

[Wilbur]

What's wrong with posting like this Wilbur, hairless?

That's just how I type.

Nothing wrong with it, just odd. Seems like you're writing an article lol

 

[K1LLER7]

Killer is good at FIFA, but shit with Stoke.

Your not bad yourself

Belgium DNA > Stoke's hoofball.

You were lucky we weren't playing at the Britannia Stadium though

 

[jtb]

Have I missed something?

wot u on bout m8

oops, meant to quote Naughty God's post from the previous page about RVP, world class, etc.

 

[Willkiller]

Nothing wrong with it, just odd. Seems like you're writing an article lol

I love it, gives me the giggles

 

[Salvadora]

nor Young...

Or Zaha! Genuinely think your wingers will do better this season because they have to.

Although I think Valencia is gone for good.

 

[Sleeplessnights]

Nothing wrong with it, just odd. Seems like you're writing an article lol

I was messing, it's really odd. First time he did it I thought he was copying something from a newspaper.

 

[Naughty God]

why does reputation even matter? especially if its for something harmless like bargain buying—isn't that a good thing?

Reputation matters when attracting the top talents. The reason Madrid are the team everyone wants to play for is because they've always had the reputation of signing the world's best players.

Bargain buying is not a good thing when you understand the politics of United. The Glazers are one of the few owners involved with top level football that have zero interest in the sport other than exploiting it to make money. While signing RVP for £24m is a good thing, the policy itself is a bad thing.

 

[Wilbur]

I, 19, am in bed about to jerk off my dick, 6.3"

 

[Chipotle]

Or Zaha! Genuinely think your wingers will do better this season because they have to.

Although I think Valencia is gone for good.

Valencia being good was a bit of a fluke and because of other teams being shit imo. He always did the same thing and all we did was pass to him, he crossed to Rooney and we'd score. Again and again. Got silly really.

Maybe it's just wingers though. Has there been a traditional winger who's been good for a few seasons running in recent times?

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

I, 19, am in bed about to jerk off my dick, 6.3"

Is that flaccid or erect, Willie?

 

[Batigol]

and it's the worst season of the show IMO. still BB's worst season is better than 99% shows on TV right now.

S2 isn't too bad. It's just really slow. Like, nothing happens.

I'm on S3. I'm up to episode 6

Spoiler

Nothing has happened at all, really

 

[Chipotle]

Is that flaccid or erect, Willie?

It's just the name he gives it, not a measurement

 

[Naughty God]

Really?

You forgetting all the players we've been linked to the last few summers?

Linked =/= confirmation.

Fabregas is a confirmed bid that everyone in the world knew had no chance of happening. Moyes has gone on about it for weeks until Barcelona told us to just shut up and stop bidding.

 

[Wilbur]

Is that flaccid or erect, Willie?

erect

 

[K1LLER7]

Graham Hunter ‏@BumperGraham 1h
Believe Spurs and Vcf done Soldado deal - likeable, hard working top pro. Sad to see him leave but sure he'll succeed


Congrats on 4th place Spurs gaf

 

[Wilbur]

TIME FOR A LIST VIVA

IM GONNA MAKE ONE

 

[jtb]

if Spurs get Soldado without having to sell any players, that will be one hell of an improvement for their squad.

 

[Vivalaraza]

Linked =/= confirmation.

Fabregas is a confirmed bid that everyone in the world knew had no chance of happening. Moyes has gone on about it for weeks until Barcelona told us to just shut up and stop bidding.

Okay, so you're saying the bid for Fabregas is the first time United have basically "set-up" a transfer story so that we get positive press/buy season tickets?

 

[Salvadora]

I think at this point I would rather Arsenal be in the hands of a Uzbek gangster than Kroenke. He may not be as bad as the Glazers but I believe he doesn't give one fuck about football.

At least Usmanov cares about Arsenal and we could leverage his underworld connections. Could threaten our wantaway players and kidnap Cesc and co.

Valencia being good was a bit of a fluke and because of other teams being shit imo. He always did the same thing and all we did was pass to him, he crossed to Rooney and we'd score. Again and again. Got silly really.

Maybe it's just wingers though. Has there been a traditional winger who's been good for a few seasons running in recent times?

Valencia is pretty much the biggest one trick pony I've seen. It's still jaw dropping that the whole world found him out at the same time, though.

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

erect

Grower or shower?

 

[Chipotle]

Valencia is pretty much the biggest one trick pony I've seen. It's still jaw dropping that the whole world found him out at the same time, though.

It's sad really. It worked really well for a while but now he looks lost all the time. Still shows what you can do just sticking to a tactic that suits a player for a while. Kind of like what you do when you play FM with a lower league team.

 

[Scum]

Graham Hunter ‏@BumperGraham 1h
Believe Spurs and Vcf done Soldado deal - likeable, hard working top pro. Sad to see him leave but sure he'll succeed


Congrats on 4th place Spurs gaf

Yay!

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

I need to know because of reasons

 

[Fergie]

I need to know because of reasons