Support NeoGAF

[Elchele]

anyone watched Don Jon?

 

[faridmon]

wilbz, fuck, you're killing me

With condoms, I hope

 

[L1NETT]

After dark with Wilbz is a scary place

Always talk about cocks or the assortment of nick naks he has stuck up his bum

 

[Clegg]

No, I went in unsheathed. It was four in the morning and she was lying there naked, the light in the Travelodge hotel room reflecting off her nipple piercing

I couldn't resist

Well then, when you find yourself having your willy massaged by a 50 something male doctor just so he can get it prepared for that god damn pole I hope you remember tonight. The night we tried to save your life and you walked away.

 

[Linius]

anyone watched Don Jon?

Yeah, it was okay.

 

[bud]

anyone watched Don Jon?

worst movie i've seen all year.

absolutely terrible.

 

[Willkiller]

Cumming without a johnny wasn't where the magic occurred, it was the entry that was the true Dumbledore moment

 

[Freewheelin']

Cumming without a johnny wasn't where the magic occurred, it was the entry that was the true Dumbledore moment

Omg

#DEAD

 

[Linius]

worst movie i've seen all year.

absolutely terrible.

You just don't understand the art of jerking off.

 

[Wilbur]

The first time I came inside of a woman with no condom on Wilbur's mother thanked me for my patronage, I plonked a 50 down on her dresser, and I left feeling unsatisfied.


Some-time lurker, first post. I'm an Arsenal and Dortmund fan; bittersweet day. Welcome me with open arms footygaf

this is extremely unlikely to have occurred

just the other day my mum said she's never owned a fifty pound note... so... idk what to believe lol

lemme go ask her hold on

what colour are you, this is how we differentiate between my mum's sexual conquests

To be absolutely fair, having sex bareback is the fucking best. I am all for safe sex but....dat feel

and as for dribbling cocks, mine sneezes it all in one go and then I just chill.

Innit. There's one brand of condoms I like but even then, it's devastating to know you're literally millimetres of silicon from nirvana

I just wanna go in there and bussa nut in her chiffarobe y'all knaa what i'm muthafuckin talkin bout SON

wilbz, fuck, you're killing me

i miss you

 

[shortyme]

With condoms, I hope

condoms suck


I miss you too <3

 

[Barzul]

The first time I came inside of a woman with no condom on Wilbur's mother thanked me for my patronage, I plonked a 50 down on her dresser, and I left feeling unsatisfied.


Some-time lurker, first post. I'm an Arsenal and Dortmund fan; bittersweet day. Welcome me with open arms footygaf

I love and slightly dislike you.

 

[faridmon]

condoms suck

Oh dear, we might have an accident in our hand

Can we raise a child? Footy-Gaf, what do you say?

 

[Carbonox]

i love the sensation of going in to a tight cunt without a cape like a rolf harris victim

 

[Disagree Guy]

Cumming without a johnny wasn't where the magic occurred, it was the entry that was the true Dumbledore moment

Willkiller
Cunt war veteran

Never a truer word spoken.

As far as anal goes though, you gotta wrap up. Dat poop......

 

[Wilbur]

After dark with Wilbz is a scary place

Always talk about cocks or the assortment of nick naks he has stuck up his bum

I remember I popped a bit of my finger up there once and didn't like it, and then I told my ex this and then next time we had sex she forced it well up there

c h r i s t

i felt like crimea

 

[shortyme]

Oh dear, we might have an accident in our hand

Can we raise a child? Footy-Gaf, what do you say?

There are other, less sucky ways to prevent evil spawn

 

[Wilbur]

Well then, when you find yourself having your willy massaged by a 50 something male doctor just so he can get it prepared for that god damn pole I hope you remember tonight. The night we tried to save your life and you walked away.

Hahaha

At least you got tossed off before the metal rod, swings and roundabouts innit

Cumming without a johnny wasn't where the magic occurred, it was the entry that was the true Dumbledore moment

oh god man alive

when you know in your head that your shaft is actually making contact with a human vagina. it was like the first time i heard kate bush

i love the sensation of going in to a tight cunt without a cape like a rolf harris victim

You have no idea how loud I just laughed

my little brother wants to know what im laughing at

help

 

[Esch]

Dat first time post!

Welcome, Congrats and commiserations.

Thanks, it's good to be here

this is extremely unlikely to have occurred

just the other day my mum said she's never owned a fifty pound note... so... idk what to believe lol

lemme go ask her hold on

what colour are you, this is how we differentiate between my mum's sexual conquests

She was very grateful, and I'm a rather wondrous shade of mahogany

I love and slightly dislike you.

Sounds about right

 

[Willkiller]

oh god man alive

when you know in your head that your shaft is actually making contact with a human vagina. it was like the first time i heard kate bush

There's a joke in there somewhere

...

Night of the Swallow

 

[Wilbur]

Thanks, it's good to be here

She was very grateful, and I'm a rather wondrous shade of mahogany


Sounds about right

My friend has mahogany pubes. We call him Redwood.

 

[Linius]

You're hanging around Gaf for six years, almost 20K posts and just now you decide to enter the best community we have here? Talking about LTTP man.

Spoiler

Welcome!

 

[LabouredSubterfuge]

Hahaha

At least you got tossed off before the metal rod, swings and roundabouts innit



oh god man alive

when you know in your head that your shaft is actually making contact with a human vagina. it was like the first time i heard kate bush



You have no idea how loud I just laughed

my little brother wants to know what im laughing at

help

Lloyd must not see.

He cannot.

He wouldn't understand.

 

[shortyme]

My friend has mahogany pubes. We call him Redwood.

Can you snap me a picture of this at some point? I've never seen natural mahogany pubes.

 

[Wilbur]

Lloyd must not see.

He cannot.

He wouldn't understand.

He doesn't even know who Rolf Harris is. He's so young. So naive.

 

[Wilbur]

Can you snap me a picture of this at some point? I've never seen natural mahogany pubes.

I'll try to get a camera next to his beautiful scrote sometime soon. I haven't seen him in a while. redwood pls

oh god all this talk of bare quim has got me moist between the glutes. Who wants to go twos on a prostitute with me (if they can also pay for one)

 

[Disagree Guy]

I remember I popped a bit of my finger up there once and didn't like it, and then I told my ex this and then next time we had sex she forced it well up there

c h r i s t

i felt like crimea

I too don't understand this. Feels like a poop but backwards.

 

[Esch]

You're hanging around Gaf for six years, almost 20K posts and just now you decide to enter the best community we have here? Talking about LTTP man.

Spoiler

Welcome!

I only started watching the sport sporadically a couple years ago. Just biding my time, waiting. Like a snake

 

[shortyme]

I too don't understand this. Feels like a poop but backwards.

You need to relax & wait til they/you hit your sweet spot.

 

[bone_and_sinew]

I ain't even mad that Barça blew the title. I bought a decent car!

 

[LabouredSubterfuge]

I only started watching the sport sporadically a couple years ago. Just biding my time, waiting. Like a snake

"Oxlade... pls.... stahp. Gunnersaurus protect me."

 

[Wilbur]

I only started watching the sport sporadically a couple years ago. Just biding my time, waiting. Like a snake

Makes a change for the little boy to be chasing Wenger and ejaculating

 

[Linius]

I only started watching the sport sporadically a couple years ago. Just biding my time, waiting. Like a snake

So if you decided to support Spurs we would have never see you post in here?

 

[Willkiller]

You need to relax & wait til they/you hit your sweet spot.

How many you managed up the horse? A solitary digit or a four finger frenzy?

 

[wedward]

"Oxlade... pls.... stahp. Gunnersaurus protect me."

That's Podolski you racist.

 

[Disagree Guy]

You need to relax & wait til they/you hit your sweet spot.

My sweet spot is my slimy rod and I swear they cant reach it through my arsehole

On another note, one of my friends owns anal beads. That was a horrible conversation.

 

[Wilbur]

How many you managed up the horse? A solitary digit or a four finger frenzy?

She once put a whole bottle of Moose Head up there

 

[Esch]

So if you decided to support Spurs we would have never see you post in here?

Well as a filthy American child even when i didn't like football I always used to pick Dortmund and Arsenal in FIFA

it was destined

 

[Freewheelin']

My sweet spot is my slimy rod and I swear they cant reach it through my arsehole

On another note, one of my friends owns anal beads. That was a horrible conversation.

Wat

 

[LabouredSubterfuge]

That's Podolski you racist.

:lol

It took me like three tries to realise you weren't joking.

She once put a whole bottle of Moose Head up there

If we can fit in some cultural irony into anal play then so be it.

 

[Disagree Guy]

Makes a change for the little boy to be chasing Wenger and ejaculating

That Gif is the most homo-erotic thing i've ever seen. Wenger is loving that.....

Chase me Chase me

 

[Willkiller]

You need to relax & wait til they/you hit your sweet spot.

 

[Carbonox]

How many you managed up the horse? A solitary digit or a four finger frenzy?

I've had one who I shoved 4 fingers up. I knew full well there was room for a fist but I didn't want to feel like a ventriloquist.

 

[Disagree Guy]

Wat

He randomly leaned over his bed and pulled them out from underneath, still packaged (opened) and goes 'I used these last night, got about 4 beads in'

I stayed because it was the only place I could smoke bud back in the day but after that night I never went back round there again.

Straight men should never discuss anal sex toys. Did I friendzone him?

 

[shortyme]

My sweet spot is my slimy rod and I swear they cant reach it through my arsehole

On another note, one of my friends owns anal beads. That was a horrible conversation.

whats wrong with anal beads?

 

[Willkiller]

I've had one who I shoved 4 fingers up. I knew full well there was room for a fist but I didn't want to feel like a ventriloquist.

 

[Linius]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cL02nH1D_M

This song is so weird.

But also good.

I mean there's a rap verse about a fucking a bear.

That's after dark stuff.

 

[Disagree Guy]

whats wrong with anal beads?

Nout, go ahead and use them. Just don't whip them out without any warning and start talking about them.......

He didn't even warm me up. He just literally just whipped them out and started talking about them.

Fuck that

 

[shortyme]

Nout, go ahead and use them. Just don't whip them out without any warning and start talking about them.......

He didn't even warm me up. He just literally just whipped them out and started talking about them.

Fuck that

Did you want him to suck you off first?

 

[Wilbur]

Shorty he is new please don't put anal beads in him yet