Borussia Dortmund have donned full commando gear and commandeered a stealth minibus as they prepare to launch a raid on Anfield to, in the words of the Sun, "rescue Nuri Sahin from his Liverpool hell". The Turkish midfielder has been held captive for months by the notorious barbarian Brendan Rodgers, who has been ramming red-hot wads of cash into the 24-year-old's pockets for the last four months and forcing him to sit on soft padded benches for up to 90 minutes at a time. Dortmund have consulted with the player's parent club, Real Madrid, and hatched a plot to spring Sahin this month before treating him to intense counselling to help him recover from his ordeal at the hands of Brendan the Beast.