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[Burger]

The weekend is nigh, let the jokes begin!

A rabbit hops into a butchers' shop and says "have you got any cabbages?". The butcher says that he doesn't sell cabbages and the rabbit hops off. The next day the same rabbit hops into the same butchers and says "have you got any cabbages?" The butcher, slightly peeved, says "look I told you yesterday - I'm a butcher, I don't sell cabbages, now piss off!" The rabbit hops off.

The next day the rabbit hops into the butchers again and says "have you got any cabbages?" The butcher, completely pissed off now, snaps "No I haven't got any chuffin cabbages! If you come in here again asking for some cabbages I'm gonna nail your fuckin ears to the floor!" The rabbit is scared by this and quickly hops out the door. The next day the rabbit hops into the butchers and asks "have you got any nails?" The butcher replies "no". The rabbit says "have you got any cabbages?"


Q: How many attention deficit disorder kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Who cares? Let's ride bikes!!


Q: What is E.T. short for ?

A: To get into his little spaceship.

 

[Lemurnator]

OFFENSIVE:

Why doesn't Mexico have it's own Olympic Team?

Everyone who can run jump and swim already made it to America.

What do you call magic johnson in a wheelchair?

Spoiler

Rollaids

 

[levious]

It'd be funnier if Mexico actually didn't have a team.

 

[Deleted member 1235]

Knock Knock

Whos there?

Little boy blue

Little boy blue who?

Michael Jackson.

 

[Escape Goat]

She criticized my apartment, so I knocked her flat



What's the best way to keep milk from turning sour?



Leave it in the cow.

 

[Property of Jumpship]

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?

Acne waits until you are 13 to come on your face.

 

[andthebeatgoeson]

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?

Acne waits until you are 13 to come on your face.

:lol

And I present my joke of the month:

-P Martinez relieved D Lowe.
-H Matsui doubled to deep right.
-B Williams doubled to deep right center, H Matsui scored.
-J Posada grounded out to first, B Williams to third.
-K Lofton singled to center, B Williams scored.
-J Olerud hit for T Clark.
-K Lofton stole second.

It was the cruelest joke of all.

 

[Drensch]

A prostitute is lounging in a patio chair in a high class brothel in China's mountains. She falls asleep only to awake with a panda hard at work licking her genitals. The panda finishes and begins to walk away back into the wilderness. The prostitute says: "Hey, come back here, you owe me 100$" The panda turns around and asks why it is he owes her money. She says that she is a prostitute. The panda asks what a prostitute is and the hooker gets out a dictionary and points to prostitute. The definition reads: "One who partakes in sexual acts for money." Ah, but the panda says, "I'm a panda". She says "so what?" The panda then proceeds to flip to panda in the dictionary he then reads it to the hooker: "Panda-one who eats bushes and leaves"

 

[B-B-Bomba!]

Prostitute 1: Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?




Prostitute 2: No, but I've been swung round by the tits ...

 

[Orin GA]

*groans*

 

[Smidget]

What's black and blue and hates sex?



The 4 year old in my trunk.