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Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need
- Thread starter -PXG-
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So much confidence gained tonight. Like, I leveled up.
Told you I would look forward to reading your success stories.
The Incarnation
Member
Just about every woman I meet loves Adam Sandler.
Massive turn off.
Massive turn off.
LordPhoque
Banned
Fuck, I didn't manage to ask this girl out at work. I wasn't working at all this week, but I still went to my work today (as a client) since I had something to do (even if it wasn't urgent at all but it was a good excuse). I went to her counter of course and she was really glad to see me. Thing is, my other co-worker was here too and kept talking with me about various things, and there were other clients waiting so it would have been really akward to ask her phone number.
I'm working tommorrow but she won't be here. And it's likely that she won't be coming to work here at all.
I'm working tommorrow but she won't be here. And it's likely that she won't be coming to work here at all.
Ok dating Gaf, I have a quick question. Going over her house tonight to watch a movie for our third date. Any suggestions for proper attire? And I don't have a tuxedo that buttons up the sides, so that's out. Are some comfy pajama pants acceptable, or should I dress as if I was going out?
Drealmcc0y
Banned
Dude why did you edit that, I read everything that you wrote before. Chin up son
Opus Angelorum
Member
Smart-casual.
Something that looks like you have made an effort, but will also make you feel comfortable.
Just show up naked.
Attackthebase
Member
I remember reading that post when you posted it. It was awesome back then, and even moreso now. Fantastic job, Etrain. Digging your new-founded successes. Now, I want to see something from TK.
TurboLibre
Member
Funny you should mention me because I recently started seeing some opportunities. One of them in particular almost seems like a sure thing at this point. I'm trying to stay grounded and all, but I have a pretty good feeling about this one.
ConradCervantes
Banned
I left work sick today, and right as I was leaving, the girl whose drink I was going to write my phone number on walks right past me. GRR. Would've stayed and tried to make small talk, but I looked like death and felt the same. Walking out to my car though, I looked over my shoulder and saw her glancing my way before averting her eyes.
RelentlessRolento
Member
As much as I give you shit, TK, I'm always rooting for you. Glad to see you sound positive about this.
Dabookerman
Member
Right, well I'm going to do some p90x I think...
It will probably kill me. But at least I tried.
If I succeed I will be a walking Dothraki, who collects anime figures. Wonder what kind of pheromones that gives off to ladies...
/random
It will probably kill me. But at least I tried.
If I succeed I will be a walking Dothraki, who collects anime figures. Wonder what kind of pheromones that gives off to ladies...
/random
Was she joking, perhaps?
Meeting up with another old fling tonight. I'm trying to keep myself busy and forget about her as much as I can. Lately I've been trying to be around another person as much as I can. It helps me forget about her and just have a good time. I'm so glad everyone is home for break or I don't know how I would handle the holidays with them.
The Elite
BOSS
I'm not sure. It was over text so it could very well have been in a joking fashion. I simply replied, "You certainly didn't complain last night."
Let's see where this goes.
Perfect response. You're good, fret not!
TurboLibre
Member
Trust me, I've never thought you were giving me shit. I know I have a pessimistic view on relationships (of all kinds), it's how the world has presented itself to me. So posts like yours are why I entered this thread to begin with. Simply willing myself to change my outlook is impossible, so I needed to have discussions on why I might be misguided or just read up on other peoples perspectives to hear my experiences are not the norm. It doesn't help that I'm overly rational and don't operate like most people, so I'm sure those conversation got frustrating to follow sometimes.
And yeah, I'm pretty optimistic about this girl. Even if it doesn't go anywhere I'm still happy to have that glimmer of hope. And the support I've seen from my friends has been great, so I'm happy however this turns out.
I was invited to a New Year's party by a girl at work whom I happen to be very interested in. I don't drink, and I hate Sonic the Hedgehog. Why am I telling you this? Well, this *is* a New Year's party, so there'll definitely be [Sonic-themed] drinking, as well as plenty of people who are dressed like Sonic the Hedgehog. They'll be serving chili dogs and playing Sonic music the entire time. Yes, a Sonic-themed party. God, help me.
I won't lie: I don't enjoy being around people who are drunk, and I generally loathe Sonic fans of this caliber. The girl who invited me will more than likely be drunk, too. If she was sober, then I might feel better about attending this and coming out of it not looking like a complete asshole. As it stands, though, I don't think that I can put up with the Sonic-heavy atmosphere when combined with the drinking.
Now, to be fair, this girl knows that I dislike Sonic the Hedgehog, and I'm pretty sure that her invitation was intended solely as a joke. She says that I wouldn't like the people there, and she really doesn't seem to expect me to go. Thing is, while I agree with her in that I'll probably hate the experience, I can't help but think that she might actually want me to go, even if it's just to see if I'll do something that I totally hate if it means spending time with her. She seems to be really interested in me, but I haven't been able to escape being just a work acquaintance. I've told her that we should hang out outside of work on a couple different occasions, but she doesn't respond, probably because she's as nervous as I am when I suggest it.
So, should I just *not* go to the party to prevent the possibility of myself looking like a complete asshole, or do you think that I should go for it in the hopes of finally breaking out of being just a work acquaintance? If you think that I *should* go to the party, then how would you suggest that I cope with what will undoubtedly be a highly stressful experience for me, aside from the obvious drinking? XD
I won't lie: I don't enjoy being around people who are drunk, and I generally loathe Sonic fans of this caliber. The girl who invited me will more than likely be drunk, too. If she was sober, then I might feel better about attending this and coming out of it not looking like a complete asshole. As it stands, though, I don't think that I can put up with the Sonic-heavy atmosphere when combined with the drinking.
Now, to be fair, this girl knows that I dislike Sonic the Hedgehog, and I'm pretty sure that her invitation was intended solely as a joke. She says that I wouldn't like the people there, and she really doesn't seem to expect me to go. Thing is, while I agree with her in that I'll probably hate the experience, I can't help but think that she might actually want me to go, even if it's just to see if I'll do something that I totally hate if it means spending time with her. She seems to be really interested in me, but I haven't been able to escape being just a work acquaintance. I've told her that we should hang out outside of work on a couple different occasions, but she doesn't respond, probably because she's as nervous as I am when I suggest it.
So, should I just *not* go to the party to prevent the possibility of myself looking like a complete asshole, or do you think that I should go for it in the hopes of finally breaking out of being just a work acquaintance? If you think that I *should* go to the party, then how would you suggest that I cope with what will undoubtedly be a highly stressful experience for me, aside from the obvious drinking? XD
Count Dookkake
Member
Dress up as Robotnik and then it will be okay for you to vent your anger or annoyance. People will laugh and she will be impressed.
Haha. That's actually a pretty good idea, although I don't think that I could come up with a decent Robotnik costume on such short notice. Any other ideas? I took one look at the invite and felt like punching the guy in it (who happened to be wearing a Sonic hat of sorts) in the throat. I need to be able to control myself. XD
EDIT: You know, actually, after thinking about it for a while, I'm pretty sure that I can get through this. Still, pray for me. Haha.
CherryWoodFuton
Member
Girl came over the crib and brought Will Ferrell movies (score). Watched 2 movies, made out, had sex twice and she made mac and cheese for me after. Feels good man
Err, I personally know a girl that does that as a joke. Probably a joke. Stop worrying (this rule applies to everyone ever).
Holy fuck!
Do you know that feeling when you are talking to a girl and you cannot relate to her at all on any level? Yeah that's what it was like earlier tonight. I used to hook up with this girl and had her over for a movie tonight. Ten minutes into The Town, I could not give two shits about what she said.
She's a really rich girl that is also a Jesus freak and I completely remembered why I cut the ties with her two times before. Each time she opened her mouth I wanted to kiss her just to shut her up, but then I realized she's a terrible terrible kisser. She litterally pecks at you, pulls away, and then acts like she just did something completely sexy. That's not how you fucking kiss while you're hooking up with someone.
I really don't want to see her again, but I'm pretty sure she thinks this is going to be a thing. In the past I would not respond to her texts or talk to her and she would basically get the hint, but I don't want to look like an asshole for the 3rd consecutive time.
Any ideas?
Do you know that feeling when you are talking to a girl and you cannot relate to her at all on any level? Yeah that's what it was like earlier tonight. I used to hook up with this girl and had her over for a movie tonight. Ten minutes into The Town, I could not give two shits about what she said.
She's a really rich girl that is also a Jesus freak and I completely remembered why I cut the ties with her two times before. Each time she opened her mouth I wanted to kiss her just to shut her up, but then I realized she's a terrible terrible kisser. She litterally pecks at you, pulls away, and then acts like she just did something completely sexy. That's not how you fucking kiss while you're hooking up with someone.
I really don't want to see her again, but I'm pretty sure she thinks this is going to be a thing. In the past I would not respond to her texts or talk to her and she would basically get the hint, but I don't want to look like an asshole for the 3rd consecutive time.
Any ideas?
Count Dookkake
Member
You can do it.
Made this mistake before! I keep getting bit by this girl (she would be flaky about responding to chats and request to do things), but I keep chasing her tail since her looks went a long way in my book. It took me way to long to realize that she was never going to change her ways.
Today might be the night that the bubble bursts for me.
All this is based on speculation and just random gut feelings I've been ignoring for the past few weeks.
You'll remember a few weeks back I mentioned about the girl I'm seeing getting a call from her ex pissed off about me posting on her wall and her trying to block his account from my facebook page.
In any case, not long after that, I asked if she had NYE plans, since it was only 2 weeks away at that point, and well, plans for that usually are hard to come up with last minute.
In any case, she said she had a friend's birthday to go to, despite me saying I wanted to spend NYE with her, but I figured "alright, maybe it's a good friend, had it planned out for a while, whatever"
So, fast forward to today. I hadn't seen ol' ex post on her page in a while, seemed strange but I figured maybe he got the idea.
Today she's saying she's getting ready for a birthday party (maybe the bday party was rescheduled?) and a few minutes ago posts "Happy birthday _______", the ex's name. Ok... fine... whatever. Not pleased, but whatever. It's just friends hanging out I suppose.
Then I go to the guy's page on a hunch...
His profile pic is a pic of him and her nose to nose... and I feel like shit all of a sudden.
Is there something going on still? Is he holding on to hope that he can win her back? He just posted the pic thursday... me and her saw each other wednesday night.
It's the dude's 21st birthday, meaning alcohol will be involved... and fucking hell, nearly a month and I'm going to be pretty irate if there's shit going on between them especially when she specifically asked me a week ago if I was seeing anyone else, and how she "doesn't like to share"...
Maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion, but I don't think so.
I'm sitting around with my cousin right now and I'm burning up inside at every thought that is coming up in my mind.
I'm going to go lay down for a few minutes. Talk me off the 6 foot ledge, GAF.
All this is based on speculation and just random gut feelings I've been ignoring for the past few weeks.
You'll remember a few weeks back I mentioned about the girl I'm seeing getting a call from her ex pissed off about me posting on her wall and her trying to block his account from my facebook page.
In any case, not long after that, I asked if she had NYE plans, since it was only 2 weeks away at that point, and well, plans for that usually are hard to come up with last minute.
In any case, she said she had a friend's birthday to go to, despite me saying I wanted to spend NYE with her, but I figured "alright, maybe it's a good friend, had it planned out for a while, whatever"
So, fast forward to today. I hadn't seen ol' ex post on her page in a while, seemed strange but I figured maybe he got the idea.
Today she's saying she's getting ready for a birthday party (maybe the bday party was rescheduled?) and a few minutes ago posts "Happy birthday _______", the ex's name. Ok... fine... whatever. Not pleased, but whatever. It's just friends hanging out I suppose.
Then I go to the guy's page on a hunch...
His profile pic is a pic of him and her nose to nose... and I feel like shit all of a sudden.
Is there something going on still? Is he holding on to hope that he can win her back? He just posted the pic thursday... me and her saw each other wednesday night.
It's the dude's 21st birthday, meaning alcohol will be involved... and fucking hell, nearly a month and I'm going to be pretty irate if there's shit going on between them especially when she specifically asked me a week ago if I was seeing anyone else, and how she "doesn't like to share"...
Maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion, but I don't think so.
I'm sitting around with my cousin right now and I'm burning up inside at every thought that is coming up in my mind.
I'm going to go lay down for a few minutes. Talk me off the 6 foot ledge, GAF.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
So much confidence gained tonight. Like, I leveled up.
Haha whatever you gained I've lost. I'd say I'm closing in on rock bottom right now. It's not even girls anymore I'm just having trouble connecting with anybody. If I could just find a way to break this cycle I could start building up again.
Change of plans.
Bear in mind that this entire exchange took place in text messages, because she hasn't been at work for the past week (since her boss gave her some extra time off because of her birthday).
As I mentioned before, she invited me to the party, and I had initially decided to not go. She didn't really seem to be disappointed, as she more or less understands my thoughts on drinking, Sonic, etc. Thing is, once I accepted (again, via text), she was really excited. As we talked about it more, she continued to stress the fact that she happens to be really annoying whenever she's drunk. I told her that I didn't mind, and I even said that it wouldn't change my wanting to hang out with her.
She eventually sent me a text message, telling me that she was having mixed feelings about me seeing her drunk, since I'm a co-worker. (Yeah, insert cringe here.) I responded by saying that she needn't think of me as just a co-worker, and I told her that I'd just not go to the party if she'd prefer that I not attend. I did, however, mention that we should hang out another time.
I kinda wish that much of the conversation had taken place in person, but hey, I'll talk to her the next time that I see her, which should be tomorrow. I won't be confrontational about it or anything. I'm clearly trying to be cautious, since we're obviously co-workers, but I think that she'll make it difficult for me to break out of this co-worker role, regardless of whether or not she's interested.
On the plus side, at least my reason for not attending is no longer because I doubted my ability to not be a complete ass at the party. I don't want to make her uncomfortable, as there's a variety of individual elements that I get the feeling will make things complicated between us. She's totally worth it, though, so I'll keep at it.
Ugh.
Trust is super important. She's fucking that up. Nothing like doubt in your mind eating you up. Best talk to her straight up, so you can cut her loose (or relegate her to side sex) and move on if she's not going to be up front with you.
Only thing I can even imagine that would remotely work in her favor is that the pic is on his profile, and it might be an old pic trying to make her see them together again and consider getting back with him ...in which case she needs to drop him.
I'd call BS on that due to the fact that she posted something about buying gifts to the two men she loves (I figured dad and another family member or me?) Then realized birthday boy tonight is surely getting one of said gifts. She's got all dolled up tonight, Mani/pedi and posted it all over her wall ... usually she doesn't change til after I arrive to go on our dates.
Been sitting in my car listening to music for the past hour... if my tail lights weren't out I'd have gone driving around to clear my mind. Ugh...
I'd call BS on that due to the fact that she posted something about buying gifts to the two men she loves (I figured dad and another family member or me?) Then realized birthday boy tonight is surely getting one of said gifts. She's got all dolled up tonight, Mani/pedi and posted it all over her wall ... usually she doesn't change til after I arrive to go on our dates.
Been sitting in my car listening to music for the past hour... if my tail lights weren't out I'd have gone driving around to clear my mind. Ugh...
Uh.. I wouldn't do that. Especially if it's in your garage or something..
Have a few beers and relax and watch a movie... Talk about it with her tomorrow. I was in a similar situation w/ my last gf.
You're being way too accommodating and available with this girl. Can you see how unattractive it is to be following her around like a puppy instead of being the one leading the interaction?
You need to do the exact opposite of what you're currently doing. When she says she gets annoying she she drinks, you can say, "yeah, I heard about that..." If she doesn't want you to go to the party, you should go. Instead of "keeping at it," you should be willing to walk away. Can you see how one attitude is following and the other is leading? The power dynamic needs to shift, because you gave her your balls gift-wrapped, and she has no reason to go out with a yes man.
back inside now. Was in the driveway and the car was off... just needed to get out of the house. My car is my happy place. Although usually it's traveling 60+mph on the freeway, but in any case, 0mph in my driveway did the trick for now.
Spoke with her a few minutes ago... based on a couple of fb statuses I posted, she thought something was wrong, I moved along to something else cause she was clearly drunk and angry + drunk = do not a good argument make.
Gonna settle down, supposed to see her tomorrow, let things go until the end of the day when I'm taking her back home. I'll just bring up the picture at that point, cause the rest is honestly just speculation on my end... pic is the only solid reason I have to be upset, so I'll mention I saw it and ask her what's up, and let things go from there.
Spoke with her a few minutes ago... based on a couple of fb statuses I posted, she thought something was wrong, I moved along to something else cause she was clearly drunk and angry + drunk = do not a good argument make.
Gonna settle down, supposed to see her tomorrow, let things go until the end of the day when I'm taking her back home. I'll just bring up the picture at that point, cause the rest is honestly just speculation on my end... pic is the only solid reason I have to be upset, so I'll mention I saw it and ask her what's up, and let things go from there.
Attackthebase
Member
A hotel's bar.
I disagree somewhat with your appraisal of the situation.
While it probably works with some girls, I don't feel that a guy necessarily has to assume control 100% of the time. I've tried that approach and haven't gotten anywhere with it, because she honestly seems to prefer that I mix things up a bit. I don't get the impression that she's used to toying with anyone in the way that a lot of girls do, because she tends to be completely surprised (and excited) when the control does happen to shift, regardless of whose favor it's in.
As for agree with her being annoying while drinking, sure, I probably would've done that in certain situations, but that probably wouldn't have had the desired effect here. Her issue probably has less to do with her being annoying whenever she's drunk and more to do with how I might perceive her whenever she's drunk, and I don't see how insulting her (even if it isn't necessarily intended as such, as I'd say it somewhat teasingly, personally) would've led me anywhere but to not attend the party, anyway. Sure, I was accommodating, but I'm not attending the party, which seems to be part of your goal, anyway. I just did it courteously.
Trust me when I say that I'm not a yes man. I think that her interest in me, whether or not you happen to think it exists, is actually based upon the fact that I'm unpredictable. And yes, sometimes, I'm even what she considers to be mean. Thing is, it's all in good fun.
ZackieChan
Member
Sonic-themed party? What is this I don't even...
D
Deleted member 59090
Unconfirmed Member
Nope, don't even think about it.
Posting all about in on her facebook wall is pretty childish - she knows you read it and you can put 2 and 2 together. I wouldn't be surprised if she was doing that to see if she can make you a bit jealous.
The Elite
BOSS
I'm not really fretting out now. I just thought it was odd more than anything. I'm usually not that aggressive on the first date. Felt good and worked out for the best.
pelicansurf
Needs a Holiday on Gallifrey
Just ask her what's going on. Simple as that. I'm sure you can tell if she's lying or not based on her response. If you can tell she's still involved, tell her you hate sharing too and cut ties.
Why did you delete the message dude? I noticed it before I left the house yesterday but didn't have the time to read it.
Barely noticed you with your new avatar!
Thanks soultron.
2011 probably was my worst ever year, but I'll ensure 2012 is my best.
I along with everyone else has just got to remain positive and go into 2012 with a bang.
Sanky Panky
Banned
So is it established that she DID go to the ex's bday party? Don't go for that "it's just friends hanging out" bullshit. If she wants to be with you, she'll cut ties with the guys (even more if it's obvious he wants her back).
Sorry to say, but get used to the idea that you lost her to the douche ex. She was not ready AT ALL based on your previous posts, and now it is practically confirmed that she's still on his jock.
When you see her, don't mention the picture, but talk about the party and why she went there.
Being called a manwhore/slut is a compliment in my book.
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