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[Eggo]

Any advice for asking out a cashier at her work? Is that weird and stalkery? How do I avoid embarrassing her in front of other customers, etc.? I'm not good at this stuff!

Don't ask her out without establishing a connection first. That's putting the cart before the horse, and most girls won't give their number out to a total stranger. So flirt and establish some kind of chemistry first.

If you go there semi-regularly you can roleplay that she's stalking you because every time you go there, she's following you. After a couple visits and you calling her out playfully each time, she's now stalking you, and you can transition into drinks or an invite to something else. At that point, it's natural that she wants to see you because you've developed that bond.

It shouldn't matter whether there are other customers there or not. A little flirting isn't going to bother anyone. That's another thing, you should be flirting with everyone, even people you're not interested in. When that becomes part of who you are, it's natural to flirt with a girl you are attracted to and the actions come naturally.

 

[Keyouta]

I just called that girl I like today to tell her just that, but caught the phone while it was off. I left a message basically saying that I had something I'd like to talk to her about and I'd rather talk to her rather than text, and to call me when possible.

What do you think, Gaf?

 

[soultron]

I just called that girl I like today to tell her just that, but caught the phone while it was off. I left a message basically saying that I had something I'd like to talk to her about and I'd rather talk to her rather than text, and to call me when possible.

What do you think, Gaf?

Hopefully you kept the message short and to the point. I'd have not done what you did, I'd just text. What'd you have to talk to her about, specifically?

---
I just noticed I have nearly 800 posts in this thread. What.

 

[Keyouta]

Hopefully you kept the message short and to the point. I'd have not done what you did, I'd just text. What'd you have to talk to her about, specifically?

---
I just noticed I have nearly 800 posts in this thread. What.

Just to tell her that I like her, really. I'd tell her in person, but she moved to another city. I thought about texting, but thought it'd be more personal if I phoned.

 

[ConradCervantes]

On the flipside of ZackieChan's query, what would be the proper etiquette to approach a frequent customer at one's place of business? I work at Starbucks, and since this past summer I've noticed a girl making eyes at me while I'm making drinks. I normally wouldn't think anything of it except that she always seats herself in my line of sight while I'm working on bar, and that's when I notice her looking my way. She came in with a friend the other night, and I noticed several uses of the pronoun "he" amongst their frequent whispers.

Perhaps my signal-reading is out of whack, but I feel like giving this a shot, but I don't want to try anything while on the clock. I'm just wondering what the proper behavior for a situation such as this would be.

 

[ZackieChan]

Don't ask her out without establishing a connection first. That's putting the cart before the horse, and most girls won't give their number out to a total stranger. So flirt and establish some kind of chemistry first.

If you go there semi-regularly you can roleplay that she's stalking you because every time you go there, she's following you. After a couple visits and you calling her out playfully each time, she's now stalking you, and you can transition into drinks or an invite to something else. At that point, it's natural that she wants to see you because you've developed that bond.

It shouldn't matter whether there are other customers there or not. A little flirting isn't going to bother anyone. That's another thing, you should be flirting with everyone, even people you're not interested in. When that becomes part of who you are, it's natural to flirt with a girl you are attracted to and the actions come naturally.

I dig the "flirt with everyone" advice. I will go with this! Although, I have no idea how to "flirt"...

 

[Etrian Oddity]

It shouldn't matter whether there are other customers there or not. A little flirting isn't going to bother anyone. That's another thing, you should be flirting with everyone, even people you're not interested in. When that becomes part of who you are, it's natural to flirt with a girl you are attracted to and the actions come naturally.

This. +1, I love it. Though I've gotten out of the rhythm, I'm slowly going back to my naturally flirtatious ways. The bank teller, cashier, waitress; flirt with women a little older than you too, because not only will it be good practice for you, but they're likely to be genuinely flattered.

 

[JambiBum]

On the flipside of ZackieChan's query, what would be the proper etiquette to approach a frequent customer at one's place of business? I work at Starbucks, and since this past summer I've noticed a girl making eyes at me while I'm making drinks. I normally wouldn't think anything of it except that she always seats herself in my line of sight while I'm working on bar, and that's when I notice her looking my way. She came in with a friend the other night, and I noticed several uses of the pronoun "he" amongst their frequent whispers.

Perhaps my signal-reading is out of whack, but I feel like giving this a shot, but I don't want to try anything while on the clock. I'm just wondering what the proper behavior for a situation such as this would be.

Walk by and just slide your number to her on a piece of paper. Or write your number on her cup. Or you can just tell her to wait until you are off work. If she is actually into you any of those things should work. The number on the cup thing is a little corny but might get some bonus points.

 

[ConradCervantes]

Walk by and just slide your number to her on a piece of paper. Or write your number on her cup. Or you can just tell her to wait until you are off work. If she is actually into you any of those things should work. The number on the cup thing is a little corny but might get some bonus points.

The number on the cup thing had actually crossed my mind. I may try it out. I have a goofy sense of humor as well, so if things go south we'll be able to laugh it off. Plus I'm very likely to be employed elsewhere soon so things won't have a chance to get awkward.

Fuck it, I'm going for it.

 

[JambiBum]

The number on the cup thing had actually crossed my mind. I may try it out. I have a goofy sense of humor as well, so if things go south we'll be able to laugh it off. Plus I'm very likely to be employed elsewhere soon so things won't have a chance to get awkward.

Fuck it, I'm going for it.

Doo it. The goofy shit works for me all the time. If you know how to work that side of things it comes off as charming instead of dumb. Also, I really don't think you need to worry about your job when it comes to hitting on her, unless you have some horrible managers.

 

[TheSchwab_7]

Just got done with date number two. I go to pick her up and she tells me that her parents want me to meet them and I'm like wtf in my head, but I did it and they seemed like nice people. We went out to a local mexican restaurant for dinner which was pretty good....except I made her laugh while she was drinking her water and then she started to choke and cough so I was like oh shit, but she was okay.

Then we went to the mall and just browsed some stores for a little bit. After we went bowling and she beat me 2-1, but I was mostly just messing around trying to make her laugh and have a good time. I did bowl a between the legs strike so that was pretty sweet lol.

Then we went back to my place to watch a movie. She picked Water for Elephants so I was like holy shit no in my mind. We get back to my place and I go in for the kiss cause the moment was right. Cept she wasn't expecting it....so it was pretty awful and we joked about it and she said she'd make it up to me. So we watch the movie, hold hands which was a first. Basically just hangout. She was a lot more touchy feely than last time.

I take her home around 3am and I walk her up to her door. She gives me a hug and we kissed 3 more times. She also mentioned that there would be a next time aka another date.

Really good night and things are going pretty good!

 

[NihonTiger90]

So if you tell someone you'd like to hang out with them, and they say they sure would and would let you know when they're free so you can come visit (capped off with a smiley face) ... this is a good thing, yes?

 

[ecurbj]

Ok so it turns out she has a "sort of boyfriend person". She's said "wait and see..." so I suppose if she actually means that, I may go for it. Otherwise, that's a no. I'm glad I know. Gonna take a little while to get over, but moving on...

That's the spirit! Keep going. Do not wait for her. If she wants to really talk to you or be in an establish relationship she would kick that sort-of-boyfriend and started something with you.

Keep moving along. Like I said before and I will say again. Plenty of fish (woman) in the sea (world) waiting for your bait (you). Keep going.

 

[Spacebar]

So if you tell someone you'd like to hang out with them, and they say they sure would and would let you know when they're free so you can come visit (capped off with a smiley face) ... this is a good thing, yes?

Yes. Now you can hang out with her and let her know your true intentions.

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

So yea having a girl over to my house for the first time. We're gonna cook dinner together and watch Will Ferrell movies. Def smanging going down. Any tips to set the mood right? Should i clean my man room before she gets here? Is genital sanitation a must?

 

[GiJoccin]

Should i clean my man room before she gets here? Is genital sanitation a must?

definitely to both - trimming is a must IMO

 

[Spacebar]

So yea having a girl over to my house for the first time. We're gonna cook dinner together and watch Will Ferrell movies. Def smanging going down. Any tips to set the mood right? Should i clean my man room before she gets here? Is genital sanitation a must?

You should be money this evening. Just make sure to be playful during dinner and cuddle up during the movies. Escalate dat kino.

If all else fails go to the bathroom and come back out with only your Lebron James jersey on and say some lame joke about busting your nut before the 4th quarter.

Good luck!

 

[Mully]

Well it looks like I won't be going on that date with my cousin's best friend for a few more days. I just had wisdom teeth removal surgery on Monday and it seems like I may have an infection in my mandible. Half of my face blew up right before the date today and I had to ask for a rain check.

She is absolutely my type and all I want to do is get in her pants. She's a fucking hot ass Irish chick (I'm 100% Irish so this is heaven to me) and man I can't believe this had to happen.

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

You should be money this evening. Just make sure to be playful during dinner and cuddle up during the movies. Escalate dat kino.

If all else fails go to the bathroom and come back out with only your Lebron James jersey on and say some lame joke about busting your nut before the 4th quarter.

Good luck!

Too bad I only have a Wade jersey but yea no doubt we're gonna make some sweet lovin on my frame-less queen size bed

 

[The Antitype]

Argh, women.

I have a very simple rule when it comes to women. They get one flake. One.

No there's this girl who is either genuinely the most disorganized/unlucky chick in the world, or a master manipulator running a psych experiment to see how much I keep biting this electrified bait.

She's flaked twice, but in both instances, she sets up the next meeting on a specific day. So I think 'well, if she's just not interested or fucking around, why would she be so specific and set up the next meet for me?'

She's also a model, so shallow as that may be, it's buying her some leniency.

 

[SRG01]

Argh, women.

I have a very simple rule when it comes to women. They get one flake. One.

No there's this girl who is either genuinely the most disorganized/unlucky chick in the world, or a master manipulator running a psych experiment to see how much I keep biting this electrified bait.

She's flaked twice, but in both instances, she sets up the next meeting on a specific day. So I think 'well, if she's just not interested or fucking around, why would she be so specific and set up the next meet for me?'

She's also a model, so shallow as that may be, it's buying her some leniency.

If she's prone to double-booking herself, then don't go for it. Behaviors prior to dating aren't likely to change during dating.

 

[BobTheFork]

...incoming admission of shame.

I meet very few women in general and few that I like and seem interested in me.
I've been going to a bar/arcade in downtown Denver called the 1up. I've met lots of great people there.

I was out having a smoke
She asked for one.
She worked for oracle and we started talking computer sciene issues.
She goes back inside first
She said "meet me at the BrugerTime machine, you're going to fucking LOSE!"
Her friends were all there and liked me
Even THEY wanted to get my number so we could hang out.
Halfway through the conversation where I was going to get the digits a guy falls over drunk, we laugh and the conversation swtiched. Everyone was pretty drunk so we don't pick the conversation back up.
They take off
They don't hang out there, they just went once.

Likelyhood of seeing her again randomly -0-5 percent.

FML

 

[Mully]

...incoming admission of shame.

I meet very few women in general and few that I like and seem interested in me.
I've been going to a bar/arcade in downtown Denver called the 1up. I've met lots of great people there.

I was out having a smoke
She asked for one.
She worked for oracle and we started talking computer sciene issues.
She goes back inside first
She said "meet me at the BrugerTime machine, you're going to fucking LOSE!"
Her friends were all there and liked me
Even THEY wanted to get my number so we could hang out.
Halfway through the conversation where I was going to get the digits a guy falls over drunk, we laugh and the conversation swtiched. Everyone was pretty drunk so we don't pick the conversation back up.
They take off
They don't hang out there, they just went once.

Likelyhood of seeing her again randomly -0-5 percent.

FML

Just move on and realize that you have a pretty good game at that bar/arcade now. Give it a few days and I'm sure you'll find someone just as great as her.

 

[BobTheFork]

Just move on and realize that you have a pretty good game at that bar/arcade now. Give it a few days and I'm sure you'll find someone just as great as her.

..yeah that was a few weeks ago now, I just keep thinking about it. It was my first time there too so everytime I go back I keep thinking I'm going to meet someone lol. It's a decent place to meet people but women don't go there alone so you kind of have deal with that. I go there 2-3 times a week to practice pinball or do a tournament. All the hot women who play pinball are married though, which is weird to me.

 

[Combine]

All the hot women who play pinball are married though, which is weird to me.

Shouldn't be surprising. A vast majority of "hot women" you'll meet will almost certainly end up being already taken, either through marriage or by dating someone else. Hot women get more attention, so the chances they'll already be spoken for are vastly greater than the not-so-hot ones. You only need to look at internet dating to see that.

 

[Mully]

..yeah that was a few weeks ago now, I just keep thinking about it. It was my first time there too so everytime I go back I keep thinking I'm going to meet someone lol. It's a decent place to meet people but women don't go there alone so you kind of have deal with that. I go there 2-3 times a week to practice pinball or do a tournament. All the hot women who play pinball are married though, which is weird to me.

It sounds like a fun place that isn't just for singles. Although it seems like you're doing fine there. You're not going to hit a home run every time. Honestly, just go there to have a good time and try not to force anything.

The night you were hanging out with her and her friends you were just looking to have a good time and go with the flow, now it sounds like you're looking for love. Don't look for it, it'll come for you.

 

[BobTheFork]

Shouldn't be surprising. A vast majority of "hot women" you'll meet will almost certainly end up being already taken, either through marriage or by dating someone else. Hot women get more attention, so the chances they'll already be spoken for are vastly greater than the not-so-hot ones. You only need to look at internet dating to see that.

oh, not weird they are hot, weird they are into pinball lol. Normally woman I think are attractive have to interest in being anywhere near and Arcade.
Which BTW has been a great way to just meet people. All the Pinball people have been great.

Mully, a big part of the issue is that I have no crew anymore. All my friends live too far away or are married with kids. I've just been going there alone. Just the way things are once you hit 30 I guess.

I'm also pining a bit because I never meet woman in the CS field who I can talk to about anything professional. It's not a must but I don't know any other computing professionals.

 

[Mully]

Mully, a big part of the issue is that I have no crew anymore. All my friends live too far away or are married with kids. I've just been going there alone. Just the way things are once you hit 30 I guess.

I see what you mean. Judging from your story about that girl, you seemed to have included everyone in and know how to handle groups. I feel that sometimes it's best to go into a group of girls alone. If you win the hearts of all of them that night, you'll be quite the hot ticket for each of them and it's up to you which one you want.

It's a gamble, but it works sometimes.

 

[Combine]

a big part of the issue is that I have no crew anymore. All my friends live too far away or are married with kids. I've just been going there alone. Just the way things are once you hit 30 I guess.

Well, I can definitely relate there. I've never ever had a crew of any kind though, so I've always been alone and trying to figure things out by myself, which is probably a big recipe for disaster given how badly inexperienced and jaded/bitter my self is in regards to trying to deal with people and feel that you're interacting with them successfully (what determines "success" after all?). I obviously can't think to some past event where I've felt "success".

The likely issue is that, once I go someplace, I remain unsure about what to do, so I end up being "that guy" in the corner or alone by himself that no one would want to deal with. And, by chance if I somehow manage to share a few words with someone or a regular, it never really develops into anything and I end up in the same spot. It's a frustrating thing to be sure.

 

[ShockingAlberto]

That's another thing, you should be flirting with everyone, even people you're not interested in. When that becomes part of who you are, it's natural to flirt with a girl you are attracted to and the actions come naturally.

I like this advice, and I can see the logic in it, but I can't envision a logical leap for me that goes from "Never flirting" to "FLIRT ALL THE TIME MAKE IT RAIN FLIRTS." I need to get over that hump, honestly.

 

[LordPhoque]

...incoming admission of shame.

I meet very few women in general and few that I like and seem interested in me.
I've been going to a bar/arcade in downtown Denver called the 1up. I've met lots of great people there.

I was out having a smoke
She asked for one.
She worked for oracle and we started talking computer sciene issues.
She goes back inside first
She said "meet me at the BrugerTime machine, you're going to fucking LOSE!"
Her friends were all there and liked me
Even THEY wanted to get my number so we could hang out.
Halfway through the conversation where I was going to get the digits a guy falls over drunk, we laugh and the conversation swtiched. Everyone was pretty drunk so we don't pick the conversation back up.
They take off
They don't hang out there, they just went once.

Likelyhood of seeing her again randomly -0-5 percent.

FML

Why does this sound like you live in the eighties ?

 

[ecurbj]

I like this advice, and I can see the logic in it, but I can't envision a logical leap for me that goes from "Never flirting" to "FLIRT ALL THE TIME MAKE IT RAIN FLIRTS." I need to get over that hump, honestly.

Just take baby steps then. You don't have to flip the switch and become a Big Daddy Flirt. Just loosen up the flirt skills. We all have them. Just some people have had theirs in the closet for some years and haven't taken them out yet. I'm one of them.

All my guy friends tell me, if they were in my shoes or my body they would have had so many one night stands that I wouldn't have imagined to have. Not because of my looks but because they know with my good looks and my yet-to-be-released-flirting skills it will boost me up to have as many girls.

Ugh! I just need to someone to push me. Like I'm to go out this Saurday night for New Years Eve and give my cousin $100. And for every approach I make with a girl whether it be rejection or acceptance I will get $10 or $20 back in return. He wants me to do $10 to make it harder but I will find out Saturday night.

 

[PhoenixSFT]

Why does this sound like you live in the eighties ?

Don't worry, he'll run into her at a local skiing competition.

 

[threenote]

So happy right now. I had a wine picnic date with a girl and ended with a very passionate make out. It was our second date. Any tips on what to do next?

 

[Hypereides]

...incoming admission of shame.

I meet very few women in general and few that I like and seem interested in me.
I've been going to a bar/arcade in downtown Denver called the 1up. I've met lots of great people there.

I was out having a smoke
She asked for one.
She worked for oracle and we started talking computer sciene issues.
She goes back inside first
She said "meet me at the BrugerTime machine, you're going to fucking LOSE!"
Her friends were all there and liked me
Even THEY wanted to get my number so we could hang out.
Halfway through the conversation where I was going to get the digits a guy falls over drunk, we laugh and the conversation swtiched. Everyone was pretty drunk so we don't pick the conversation back up.
They take off
They don't hang out there, they just went once.

Likelyhood of seeing her again randomly -0-5 percent.

FML

Shouldve kissed her at step 3 instead.

Tell her you dont have many ciagrettes left,make a brief pause, and tell her alright, she'll get one if you can get a kiss for it.

 

[MTE]

OK guys, setting up a first date from a dating site. Might be doing a movie. She's said she wants to see Tintin, Tower Heist, The Iron Lady, and Inbetweeners. Which would be the best/most appropriate?

 

[Jim E. Rossler]

OK guys, setting up a first date from a dating site. Might be doing a movie. She's said she wants to see Tintin, Tower Heist, The Iron Lady, and Inbetweeners. Which would be the best/most appropriate?

TinTin is the only answer

Anyone ever taken a girl to a gun range? It's something most people have never done,IE Unique and memorable, It's cheaper than A single movie ticket, and I get some light physical contact with her showing her how to shoot (I'm not a creeper, but I keep hearing how this is a good thing). Seems Like a win-win to me. She didn't seem bothered by the suggestion (it was over a text) so I don't think she's a hoplophobe.

 

[-PXG-]

So yea having a girl over to my house for the first time. We're gonna cook dinner together and watch Will Ferrell movies. Def smanging going down. Any tips to set the mood right? Should i clean my man room before she gets here? Is genital sanitation a must?

Yes. Clean your goddamn room.

Working full-time is depressing. I have no time for wimenz. How the fuck am I supposed to meet anyone now? When I was unemployed, I had the time to date and the time to have a relationship, but no means. Now I have the means, but no time. Shit.

 

[PhoenixSFT]

OK guys, setting up a first date from a dating site. Might be doing a movie. She's said she wants to see Tintin, Tower Heist, The Iron Lady, and Inbetweeners. Which would be the best/most appropriate?

Are you doing dinner and a movie? Because a movie leaves you no time to talk to her and get to know her, which makes a second date tougher.

 

[jamesinclair]

Shouldve kissed her at step 3 instead.

Tell her you dont have many ciagrettes left,make a brief pause, and tell her alright, she'll get one if you can get a kiss for it.

And then proceed directly to slap-town

 

[RelentlessRolento]

going to try my hand at being more forward in online dating ^_^ (OkCupid only so far)

weirded out by it a bit due to strangers meet ups but mostly open to it since I live the life as an art grad student and would like someone to share the time with.

Plus I had a recent bouncy on and off again crazy passionate thing with a girl that I didn't realize was in rebound status currently. She said she needed time single to sort things out; I totally understand where she's at so I respect whatever she needs to do or the time she needs. Was nice though with all the biting and scratching we had a few nights

 

[overcast]

So how do girls tend to react about ex's? How touchy of a subject is it?

 

[lawlohwhat]

So yea having a girl over to my house for the first time. We're gonna cook dinner together and watch Will Ferrell movies. Def smanging going down. Any tips to set the mood right? Should i clean my man room before she gets here? Is genital sanitation a must?

1) Cook something GOOD and buy some high quality wine (probably $12-15). Bonus points if you drink the wine you cook with. If you're not a good cook already, then watch some episodes of good eats for free online!
2) Wtf of course you clean your room. It should always be clean anyway. Who wants to live in a messy place?
3) Wtf of course you scrub your balls. They should always be clean anyway. Who wants to smell messy a set of balls?

So how do girls tend to react about ex's? How touchy of a subject is it?

Gonna need more details.

 

[Ryaaan14]

So where does GAF go to meet girls who don't like going out?

And don't say library, girls who read are worse than girls who like going out.

 

[overcast]

Gonna need more details.

Well, I talk to this friend I have. We never went out, but we were always emotionally attached somewhat. Now I have a GF, and I haven't really talked about her. I know she must know about this "ex", so I feel like I need to bring her up. Since I still talk to the "ex". I feel like she will over think it if I don't get to it.

We've only been going out for a month for reference. Just curious as to how to go about it.

 

[Miguel]

Yes. Clean your goddamn room.

Working full-time is depressing. I have no time for wimenz. How the fuck am I supposed to meet anyone now? When I was unemployed, I had the time to date and the time to have a relationship, but no means. Now I have the means, but no time. Shit.

Make time? Do you work weird or long hours?

 

[Miguel]

Well, I talk to this friend I have. We never went out, but we were always emotionally attached somewhat. Now I have a GF, and I haven't really talked about her. I know she must know about this "ex", so I feel like I need to bring her up. Since I still talk to the "ex". I feel like she will over think it if I don't get to it.

We've only been going out for a month for reference. Just curious as to how to go about it.

So she's not really an ex?

I don't understand.

I'm in the "don't talk about ex unless the other person brings it up" camp.

The girl I'm with will occasionally bring up her ex with random things, I usually end up glossing over whatever she said and going back to the previous conversation or just ignoring what she said. I really don't care what happened with her and someone else in the past unless it's something serious/important, and I don't feel the need to bring up things about my dating history unless she specifically wants to know about it.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

So much confidence gained tonight. Like, I leveled up.

 

[BocoDragon]

So much confidence gained tonight. Like, I leveled up.

That's how it works man movin on up!

 

[Etrian Oddity]

That's how it works man movin on up!

Haha... I know alcohol plays a part of it (especially on the girl's part), but it just feels so good to make a cold approach and pull it off successfully. Like, even though I didn't get any tonight, I danced with and chatted up several girls tonight, even having a lesbian kissing me for enjoying the dance, lmao