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[PBY]

No, but her family doesn't like her dating without anything formal between us. She wanted me to propose, and then do the various ceremonies leading up to the wedding. I have asked her if she was really ready to marry me, and she said yes. I told her there has to be love between us before I propose. I can't propose in hopes love will grow.

EDIT: She's 21.

Uhhhhh... this is a bail the fuck out situation if I've ever seen one.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

Apparently, a fucking ton. Like I said, I'm 6'1" (probably 6' but everyone adds an inch), and my 6'4" friend used to get chicks fawning over him all the time - and he barely even talked to them. Being 6' is nothing nowadays. To a lot of girls, that's average. Anything below is short. You've gotta be 6'3"+ to stand out.

That's so unusual because I happen to be about 6'4'' and I have a friend who is at least the same height if not slightly taller and neither of us have noticed any big advantage. At least not the kind you are talking about with your friend.

 

[BentMyWookiee]

No, but her family doesn't like her dating without anything formal between us. She wanted me to propose, and then do the various ceremonies leading up to the wedding. I have asked her if she was really ready to marry me, and she said yes. I told her there has to be love between us before I propose. I can't propose in hopes love will grow.

EDIT: She's 21.

Girl sounds like trouble. I don't know her like you do, but if she's saying that she needs marriage in 2 months... I'd get the hell out right now.

 

[Ulairi]

That's so unusual because I happen to be about 6'4'' and I have a friend who is at least the same height if not slightly taller and neither of us have noticed any big advantage. At least not the kind you are talking about with your friend.

I think 6' to 6'3" is the magic area. I'm 6'1" and I think it has benefited me. The average height for guys I believe islike 5'9" so I'm tall enough to notice but not freakishly tall.

 

[womfalcs3]

^ And yes. :lol

I've thought about what if she's hiding something that I won't know about until it's too late.

Uhhhhh... this is a bail the fuck out situation if I've ever seen one.

Yeah, I guess we're done. I told her I can't commit to a marriage right now, we said we were glad to meet each other, and never spoke since.

But she was pretty, with ambition, and we shared many thoughts that go against the norms of society.

 

[jamesinclair]

No, but her family doesn't like her dating without anything formal between us. She wanted me to propose, and then do the various ceremonies leading up to the wedding. I have asked her if she was really ready to marry me, and she said yes. I told her there has to be love between us before I propose. I can't propose in hopes love will grow.

EDIT: She's 21.

Sounds like either someone is batshit insane, or needs papers.
BAIL THE FUCK OUT.

btw, anyone near Norman, Oklahoma? Here's a sure bet: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/All_Cummers

hooooooooly shit.

Hey look, we're a 74% match.

 

[BeEatNU]

No, but her family doesn't like her dating without anything formal between us. She wanted me to propose, and then do the various ceremonies leading up to the wedding. I have asked her if she was really ready to marry me, and she said yes. I told her there has to be love between us before I propose. I can't propose in hopes love will grow.

EDIT: She's 21.

sir you need to GTFO

 

[The Shadow]

for the life of me i cant fathom why a 5'2" chick and a 6'+ dude would want to bother with each other. thats just a hell of a height difference.

I can't either but I remember reading a study saying that short women tend to marry really tall guys.

Might explain why I've had better luck with women my height.

 

[Aesius]

That's so unusual because I happen to be about 6'4'' and I have a friend who is at least the same height if not slightly taller and neither of us have noticed any big advantage. At least not the kind you are talking about with your friend.

Do you hang out in bars? My tall friend is married now, but when we used to go out and talk to chicks the hot one would always go after him. Even when I was being the charming/outgoing one. I think it must be an alpha male thing or something.

The messages keep pouring in on PoF. It's pretty damn empowering to have the tables (slightly) turned for once. Although I definitely feel like a lot of these chicks probably just spam the fuck out of anyone with a remotely attractive pic. I also had another girl send her number telling me to CALL OR TEXT ASAP. :lol

 

[BeEatNU]

Do you hang out in bars? My tall friend is married now, but when we used to go out and talk to chicks the hot one would always go after him. Even when I was being the charming/outgoing one. I think it must be an alpha male thing or something.

The messages keep pouring in on PoF. It's pretty damn empowering to have the tables (slightly) turned for once. Although I definitely feel like a lot of these chicks probably just spam the fuck out of anyone with a remotely attractive pic. I also had another girl send her number telling me to CALL OR TEXT ASAP. :lol

:lol

PoF makes it easy!

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

Do you hang out in bars? My tall friend is married now, but when we used to go out and talk to chicks the hot one would always go after him. Even when I was being the charming/outgoing one. I think it must be an alpha male thing or something.

No, I don't hang in bars for a few reasons but that's interesting.

 

[Papercuts]

Should probably add for the sake of the thread that being short is obviously something you can't change and shouldn't be something to get self conscious over.

 

[Dabookerman]

As a 24 yer old I guess it's safe to assume persuing a 19 year old is probably a no no. She's very attractive and seemingly intelligent/interesting.. But her Facebook profile intimidates me. All her male friends are all Justin bieber/twilight lookalikes. I can't compete with that :lol

 

[Gaaraz]

Depends man, so what if her Facebook friends are like that? If she's intelligent and interesting as you say, it's likely she's quite mature too, so the age isn't really a big deal surely?

 

[Dabookerman]

Depends man, so what if her Facebook friends are like that? If she's intelligent and interesting as you say, it's likely she's quite mature too, so the age isn't really a big deal surely?

I think a single date, if such a thing happens, should do it. We'll see..

 

[SmokeMaxX]

As a 24 yer old I guess it's safe to assume persuing a 19 year old is probably a no no. She's very attractive and seemingly intelligent/interesting.. But her Facebook profile intimidates me. All her male friends are all Justin bieber/twilight lookalikes. I can't compete with that :lol

:lol :lol Apparently a lot of my IRL buddies read this thread, so I can't speak TOO much about the subject, but from my personal experience, go for it. Be confident. Most girls like older guys. They're more "mature" or whatever. Anyway, as long as she doesn't already have a boyfriend, you should be fine. Even if she did... you should probably still be fine. :lol :lol

 

[fart town usa]

As a 24 yer old I guess it's safe to assume persuing a 19 year old is probably a no no. She's very attractive and seemingly intelligent/interesting.. But her Facebook profile intimidates me. All her male friends are all Justin bieber/twilight lookalikes. I can't compete with that :lol

No 24 year old should be dating a 19 year old. Regardless of how mature she is, she's most likely going to be living at home or a freshman at college. Do you really want to deal with that. Also, she can't even drink at bars (i'm guessing you're american).

I dated a 19 year old when I was 21, she seemed mature and whatnot but good god, all she did was cause me problems and I could not get her to go away after I called it off. I had to literally move to the other side of the world to get her to stop contacting me. :lol


As for advice to pick up girls,

The easiest way to get girls interested in you is to make them laugh. It can be any sort of thing, people watching and commenting on things, not in a mean way but light jokes at something awkward happening around you in public. Making fun of yourself, if you stumble over your feet or something clumsy like that, make fun of yourself in a fun way rather than try to play it off like your 'oh-so-slick'. It'll make them laugh and relieve some tension, especially if it's a first date. It shows that you aren't perfect and don't view yourself as such. Also, being able to laugh at yourself shows that you're confident and not vain. I'm not ugly but there's room for improvement and I consistently date girls who other people would consider, "out of my league."

 

[Dabookerman]

:lol :lol Apparently a lot of my IRL buddies read this thread, so I can't speak TOO much about the subject, but from my personal experience, go for it. Be confident. Most girls like older guys. They're more "mature" or whatever. Anyway, as long as she doesn't already have a boyfriend, you should be fine. Even if she did... you should probably still be fine. :lol :lol

I'm gonna just do a single date and see how I feel. If she actually wants to. I don't know, I'm feeling risky lol.
The last girl I dated, we've become pretty damn good friends now, and I still like her, but she doesn't feel THAT way about me, but I suppose I want to keep my mind of shit or something.

 

[SmokeMaxX]

I'm gonna just do a single date and see how I feel. If she actually wants to. I don't know, I'm feeling risky lol.
The last girl I dated, we've become pretty damn good friends now, and I still like her, but she doesn't feel THAT way about me, but I suppose I want to keep my mind of shit or something.

Yeah just have fun. My situation was slightly different and more complicated than yours, but I went for it and have no regrets. Don't late age be a factor if you like her and she's not super immature.

 

[Onegun]

Is a Facebook required for dating these days? It seems that you have to get connected via Facebook before you can even get a phone number. This has come up more and more when trying to pick up women on and offline. I just get a wierd look like, "What do you mean you don't have a Facebook?"

 

[PG2G]

There is no good that can come from adding a girl you're dating as a Facebook friend, in my experience at least.

 

[Relix]

Is a Facebook required for dating these days? It seems that you have to get connected via Facebook before you can even get a phone number. This has come up more and more when trying to pick up women on and offline. I just get a wierd look like, "What do you mean you don't have a Facebook?"

Usually these days we first exchange our Facebooks and then the number :lol

 

[subversus]

Is a Facebook required for dating these days? It seems that you have to get connected via Facebook before you can even get a phone number. This has come up more and more when trying to pick up women on and offline. I just get a wierd look like, "What do you mean you don't have a Facebook?"

I made an account only because of chicks. I use it only if I want to speak to a girl I'm interested in.

 

[Alucrid]

Is a Facebook required for dating these days? It seems that you have to get connected via Facebook before you can even get a phone number. This has come up more and more when trying to pick up women on and offline. I just get a wierd look like, "What do you mean you don't have a Facebook?"

Nope. I don't have one. I'll just ask them for their number when I'm done talking with them.

 

[JimiNutz]

As a 24 yer old I guess it's safe to assume persuing a 19 year old is probably a no no. She's very attractive and seemingly intelligent/interesting.. But her Facebook profile intimidates me. All her male friends are all Justin bieber/twilight lookalikes. I can't compete with that :lol

I felt like this once.
I was exactly your age (24) and this absolutely stunning 19 year old was temping at our place over the summer.
Every guy in the office was trying it on with this girl, putting her on some kind of pedestal, so we used to laugh and joke about it.
I was friendly but never really paid her THAT much attention - although I was at an advantage because she sat opposite me.
Anyway, I played it cool but deep down knew I was probably punching above my weight if I did try it on with her.
In the end she game me her number, then I asked her to a movie, and we fucked each other silly for a month or so before she went off to uni.

I checked her facebook too and couldn't believe the guys she was in pictures with.
They were all younger and far better looking than me - I guess she was just bored of that kind of shit and wanted to try something different :lol

Anyway it's been a year since I saw her, but she's been texting me recently and wants to hook up soon.
Hopefully she's got bored of the young guys and fancies some man meat again lol.

I suppose the moral of the story is that girls are funny, and maybe she's looking for something different right now - although deep down I wouldn't expect to be able to date someone like that.

 

[Eggo]

Is a Facebook required for dating these days? It seems that you have to get connected via Facebook before you can even get a phone number. This has come up more and more when trying to pick up women on and offline. I just get a wierd look like, "What do you mean you don't have a Facebook?"

I too give people a weird look if I find out they don't have Facebook. It's like not having a cell phone. Why wouldn't you have a Facebook account? Also, I wouldn't recommend making a FB page just to get girls. It should reflect your entire social circle, which would include guy friends, possibly family, classmates, coworkers, etc.

 

[subversus]

I too give people a weird look if I find out they don't have Facebook. It's like not having a cell phone. Why wouldn't you have a Facebook account? Also, I wouldn't recommend making a FB page just to get girls. It should reflect your entire social circle, which would include guy friends, possibly family, classmates, coworkers, etc.

there's a thing called privacy. I don't want everybody on the net to know who I am, where I work, where I live, what I like, what I don't like, who are my friends and so on. And if somebody has issues with this he/she can fuck off.

Also as soon somebody hits Facebook everybody adds him/her even if a person doesn't tell anybody that he/she has an account. Some people from my past whom I barely remember were adding me in like 3-4 days after I'd joined. Ok, whatever.

 

[-COOLIO-]

there's a thing called privacy. I don't want everybody on the net to know who I am, where I work, where I live, what I like, what I don't like, who are my friends and so on. And if somebody has issues with this he/she can fuck off.

Also as soon somebody hits Facebook everybody adds him/her even if a person doesn't tell anybody that he/she has an account. Some people from my past whom I barely remember were adding me in like 3-4 days after I'd joined. Ok, whatever.

you dont have to show people any of this on facebook

 

[subversus]

you dont have to show people any of this on facebook

As I don't really go there, I didn't know about this option but any account can be hacked and so on. The less internet knows the better.

 

[-COOLIO-]

As I don't really go there, I didn't know about this option but any account can be hacked and so on. The less internet knows the better.

you dont even have to supply that info at the first place, im fairly sure all you need to sign up is a fake birthday, fake name, and a legit fake email if you wish.

 

[Alucrid]

you dont even have to supply that info at the first place, im fairly sure all you need to sign up is a fake birthday, fake name, and a legit fake email if you wish.

I don't feel like having the facade of friendships that are on there. Not to mention all of the useless status updates, invites, pokes, etc.etc.etc. Aside from that, I'd probably be a sarcastic asshole on there like I am on the rest of the internet.

 

[Mike Works]

1. Holy fuck to that dude who had a girl ask him to marry her after 2 weeks. I know you said in your post that you were going to end it, but you didn't say it with enough confidence and certainty for my liking. IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU GUYS HAVE THINGS IN COMMON (ooh equally diverse world views); FUCKING END IT. She is either trying to scam you, has ridiculously perverse family values, or is FUCKING CRAZY. RUN.

2. There's nothing wrong with a 24-year-old dating a 19-year-old. That guy who said you should never do it is wrong. It's true that a lot of 19-year-olds will be immature and annoying to have to deal with, but conversely there are some really cool ones out there too. Using one fucking instance of when it didn't work out for you personally (addressing this to the guy giving advice) to ward off all men on doing it ever is ridiculous. If you're interested in a girl and she's that age, then use your judgement as to whether you think she would be a good person to get involved with. That's all that matters. Don't worry about age when it comes to being 19.

3. Create a damn Facebook profile. If you don't want people to find you, call yourself "M Works". If you don't want your last name up there, call yourself "Mike W". Add your friends to it, get some pictures up, put up some seemingly meaningless info (favorite books, etc), and you're done. I suppose if you are very identity-conscious this could be an issue for you, but if it isn't, then just do it. I've personally never given out my facebook name/info for any dates, as I see it as potential for regressing into friend-status. When I meet a girl, I go straight for the phone number then straight for a date. No need to pussyfoot around. I suppose if she asks you for your facebook info, and you're comfortable with giving it to her, then ask her out during that very conversation. "Yeah, my name's Mike Works on Facebook. There are a bunch of Mike Works, so just look for the one with a picture of me in front of the Eiffel Tower. By the way girl, you so fine, let's fucking smang it or some shit this Friday, fuck shorty" (it's early and I'm tired right now). Killer instinct, boys. Confidence. If you view her connecting with you via Facebook as a roadblock, then let her put it up, and then immediately knock it down. Go for the jugular. Be a man.

Man, I really don't want to go to class right now, I just want to listen to rock.

THE JUGULAR, BOYS

 

[subversus]

you dont even have to supply that info at the first place, im fairly sure all you need to sign up is a fake birthday, fake name, and a legit fake email if you wish.

yes, but what's the point then?

I supplied minimum info just to keep thing going for the girls I know and that was all.

 

[Danj]

For starters, "hard working" means you're not a lazy piece of shit who sits around at home all day. Means you're driven to get something, whatever it may be. Means you probably have a job.

It's an attractive quality.

Well, I definitely have a job, so I guess that means I'm hard-working? I mean, it's not a super brilliant job or anything, I'm not a CEO earning 6 figures, but it's a lot better than any of my previous jobs, and also I don't live with my parents any more.

What do you think other people would list as good traits, what type of stuff? You still didn't answer that question, and it's important.

Unfortunately I have no idea how to answer that question. I don't have the same level of ability to guess what other people are thinking that many people do (which is part of the reason I am in therapy in the first place), so I have no idea how to figure out what people would consider to be good traits.

 

[Dabookerman]

I felt like this once.
I was exactly your age (24) and this absolutely stunning 19 year old was temping at our place over the summer.
Every guy in the office was trying it on with this girl, putting her on some kind of pedestal, so we used to laugh and joke about it.
I was friendly but never really paid her THAT much attention - although I was at an advantage because she sat opposite me.
Anyway, I played it cool but deep down knew I was probably punching above my weight if I did try it on with her.
In the end she game me her number, then I asked her to a movie, and we fucked each other silly for a month or so before she went off to uni.

I checked her facebook too and couldn't believe the guys she was in pictures with.
They were all younger and far better looking than me - I guess she was just bored of that kind of shit and wanted to try something different :lol

Anyway it's been a year since I saw her, but she's been texting me recently and wants to hook up soon.
Hopefully she's got bored of the young guys and fancies some man meat again lol.

I suppose the moral of the story is that girls are funny, and maybe she's looking for something different right now - although deep down I wouldn't expect to be able to date someone like that.

See I think the problem I'm having right now is all to do with myself. I just know that it is very unlikely that anything beyond a few months of "fun" will happen with this girl. She's 19, and girls simply change in that period of their life. I know this first hand. I just don't think I can be arsed with it. I want someone who I could see myself with in a few years time. I just want some stability. I don't know what you call this attitude.. But it's sort of not me. And even then, I've not even met this girl yet. We've chatted a few times on FB so I don't even know why I'm bothering complaining about this :lol It's more my way of thinking..

 

[Onegun]

Thanks for the advice Mike Works. I guess I'll bite the bullet and create a bs facebook account. Also, how does one "smang it?"

 

[msv]

Reading "The Mathematics of Beaty" OkTrends article, this made me crack up

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-mathematics-of-beauty/

Suppose you're a man who's really into someone. If you suspect other men are uninterested, it means less competition. You therefore have an added incentive to send a message. You might start thinking: maybe she's lonely. . . maybe she's just waiting to find a guy who appreciates her. . . at least I won't get lost in the crowd. . . maybe these small thoughts, plus the fact that you really think she's hot, prod you to action. You send her the perfectly crafted opening message.

"sup"

:lol

Pretty interesting article, pretty much confirms what I thought. People go way more crazy over a girl if they think there's less competition.

 

[sooperkool]

See I think the problem I'm having right now is all to do with myself. I just know that it is very unlikely that anything beyond a few months of "fun" will happen with this girl. She's 19, and girls simply change in that period of their life. I know this first hand. I just don't think I can be arsed with it. I want someone who I could see myself with in a few years time. I just want some stability. I don't know what you call this attitude.. But it's sort of not me. And even then, I've not even met this girl yet. We've chatted a few times on FB so I don't even know why I'm bothering complaining about this :lol It's more my way of thinking..

You guys make this harder than it has to be. So just be friends with the young chippie and if the opportunity presents itself then smash it if you want.

 

[JimiNutz]

See I think the problem I'm having right now is all to do with myself. I just know that it is very unlikely that anything beyond a few months of "fun" will happen with this girl. She's 19, and girls simply change in that period of their life. I know this first hand. I just don't think I can be arsed with it. I want someone who I could see myself with in a few years time. I just want some stability. I don't know what you call this attitude.. But it's sort of not me. And even then, I've not even met this girl yet. We've chatted a few times on FB so I don't even know why I'm bothering complaining about this :lol It's more my way of thinking..

When I got involved with the 19 year old I knew exactly what I was getting myself into.
She was going to university in a months time, she was was really hot, and I just wanted to have sex with her a bunch of times lol.
At the time it was exactly what I was looking for.
Shortly afterwards I got involved in a 'proper' relationship, and now that relationship is over so I'm going to go back for seconds with her (hopefully).

If you're single I say you may as well meet up with her once at least.
Who knows when the next opportunity to bang a hot 19 year old is going to crop up?

 

[norinrad]

Usually these days we first exchange our Facebooks and then the number :lol

Absurd :lol

 

[John Rabbit]

Thanks for the advice Mike Works. I guess I'll bite the bullet and create a bs facebook account. Also, how does one "smang it?"

you smash. then you bang.

 

[Chinner]

as a guy who's been turned down many times just because of my height (even by chicks shorter than me), being tall helps a lot.

for the life of me i cant fathom why a 5'2" chick and a 6'+ dude would want to bother with each other. thats just a hell of a height difference.

dont worry, look throughout history and the best people are around 5'8.

 

[Timedog]

Unfortunately I have no idea how to answer that question. I don't have the same level of ability to guess what other people are thinking that many people do (which is part of the reason I am in therapy in the first place), so I have no idea how to figure out what people would consider to be good traits.

What do YOU think are some good traits?

 

[Spruchy]

what happens if the girl doesnt have a facebook

 

[Dragon]

Ask a girl if she wants to talk on the phone on okcupid, and get a response that completely ignores the question. :lol :lol I think I'm done with this one. She must have someone else in the bag.

Found another girl that's friends with my roommate's girlfriend so I'm hoping to see what she says about her. She's hot and works for the government but she's totally against pot, not that I smoke but she seems kinda uptight about it. Hmm. Oh well we'll see.

what happens if the girl doesnt have a facebook

Last girl I went out with didn't have a facebook. I was curious so I searched for her and there she was :lol.

 

[Burai]

As a 24 yer old I guess it's safe to assume persuing a 19 year old is probably a no no. She's very attractive and seemingly intelligent/interesting.. But her Facebook profile intimidates me. All her male friends are all Justin bieber/twilight lookalikes. I can't compete with that :lol

Most of my girlfriend's male facebook friends are all huge, ripped, a few of them are even MMA fighters. Yet she's with me, the skinny geek, even though she had access to these other guys who regularly throw themselves at her, asking her out for drinks and dates on her wall.

That means I win.

So think about what you're saying. All these guys you "can't compete with" and she isn't dating any of them? What does that tell you? 19 year old Jusin Bieber lookalikes aren't her type and they've all been friend-zoned.

That means you win.

 

[Dabookerman]

Most of my girlfriend's male facebook friends are all huge, ripped, a few of them are even MMA fighters. Yet she's with me, the skinny geek, even though she had access to these other guys who regularly throw themselves at her, asking her out for drinks and dates on her wall.

That means I win.

So think about what you're saying. All these guys you "can't compete with" and she isn't dating any of them? What does that tell you? 19 year old Jusin Bieber lookalikes aren't her type and they've all been friend-zoned.

That means you win.

I hear what you're saying mate. But I still don't feel like putting much effort to pursue. I'm tired of being the one to engage in convos all the time. If she doesn't bother messaging me or anything like that then fuck it, I don't really care ;p She's seen my facebook so she at least knows what I get up to in life somewhat.

I think it's really down to me not being fucked. I honestly don't know why I even bothered bringing it up here in the first place! I'm really more keen to get to know mature girls who are out of uni/college and in steady jobs. Girls who know what they want to do basically, because that's what my current attitude is atm.

 

[Relix]

Ooh finally something new happened to me! =P

This girl I've been going out with recently told me she likes another guy. Its nothing, as we were just going out, chatting, etc, and it really doesn't affect me at all emotionally, but she was in fact one of the girls I really liked. Just awesome, smart and cute. Nothing has happened between us.

Should I just let go or maybe push a little? I think she friendzoned me though I must admit I've never believed in that concept and find its utter BS.

 

[Dragon]

Ooh finally something new happened to me! =P

This girl I've been going out with recently told me she likes another guy. Its nothing, as we were just going out, chatting, etc, and it really doesn't affect me at all emotionally, but she was in fact one of the girls I really liked. Just awesome, smart and cute. Nothing has happened between us.

Should I just let go or maybe push a little? I think she friendzoned me though I must admit I've never believed in that concept and find its utter BS.

Did you ever make a move? Girls will only give you a certain amount of time before they assume you don't like them because you're not being aggressive enough.

 

[Relix]

Did you ever make a move? Girls will only give you a certain amount of time before they assume you don't like them because you're not being aggressive enough.

I am pretty certain it was this :lol I was going out with other ladies as well. Ah damn. =P