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Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need

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and goddamit, what the fuck is with these disproportionate numbers of ugly, fat white women checking me out on these dating sites. goddamn, I aint that type of brother.
 

~Kinggi~

Banned
and goddamit, what the fuck is with these disproportionate numbers of ugly, fat white women checking me out on these dating sites. goddamn, I aint that type of brother.

Yeah, only girls that seem to send me messages are overweight and not attractive.

Which makes sense. I mean the attractive people have a large pool of other, more outgoing attractive people sending them messages every day where it feels like work just to read them. Online dating is not at all geared toward someone wanting attractive women to pursue them cause it wont happen unless you lie on your profile or are a millionaire.
 

Minamu

Member
Err, so you go to meet a girl and when you get there she's kissing another guy and you don't know what to think? Are you just looking for friends? I don't understand.
I know what to think, just not how to deal with it ;) But I'm not gonna hold it against her. There's no reason to do that. I'm looking for more than friendship, yeah. But if not, no big deal.
 

soultron

Banned
Finally got around to mentioning my OKCupid profile to my therapist, so at my most recent session (yesterday) he helped me improve it a bit. Also just shaved the stache off again and had a haircut and have a party invite tonight (though I don't imagine there'll be any single women there) so hopefully will get an updated picture of me.

A clean cut is always nice. Moustaches generally don't do you any favours, so it's most likely going to work out better.

And you don't know that all the women going are going to be taken, so don't assume!
 
Weird scenario:

-I ended up with a group of drunk girls and two other guys.

-One of the girls was flirting hard with me while drunk.

-She was going around kissing random guys (about two others at least outside the room we were in)

-At one point we ended up outside and she held my hand and asked me if i was single

-Long story short everything was cut short because one of my friends got alcohol poisoning. She's fine though.

-I didn't remember her name. Shit sucks. Oh well.

The world just loves to be my cock block.

Be happy. If you had sex with her when she was drunk, the law would have dictated that as rape (at least in Florida anyway).
 
I had my second date with this girl last night.

We met up and she kinda supprised me because she was already waiting so that caught me off guard so no greeting peck on the cheek or hug but that was ok.

We then went to the bowling alley and played two games there which was really fun. Lots of laugher especailly when I threw it so hard it bounced over into the other lane.

After that we went and had a drink and talked for a while which was good.

Then it was getting late and she works weekends so I walked her back to her car. On the way back to her car it was pretty cold and we both mentioned this so I took her hand and walked back like that which was nice and sweet

Got back to her car and then parted ways (didnt bother to try and go for a kiss goodbye because again it didnt seem like the right place and on the first date she laughed when I mentioned wanting to makeout in the parking lot and she said not there)

But over all it was pretty good.
Kiss on the third date for sure Im thinking.
 

Kad5

Member
Be happy. If you had sex with her when she was drunk, the law would have dictated that as rape (at least in Florida anyway).

Good news and update:

All I told this girl was my first name (not even how to spell it, which is Kamran by the way pronounced cameron) and she added me on facebook.

I never thought I would see her again. I have no idea how she remembered my name if she was drunk and I have no idea how she knew how to spell it correctly to find me.

Oh well i'm hoping this is a good sign she was kind of cute. :)

Update 2: I posted a clever status pointing to a profile leading to a "slut". The trick is that the profile automatically goes to the users own profile. The girl I met last night thought I was referring to her.

I'll just post our convo:


her:your status freaked me out because of last night. oh em gee.

Me:
oh haha sorry
i dont think your a slut btw

her:
awe, thanks! haha. yesterday was a bit crazy though..

Me:
it was. I'm sorry we met under those circumstances.

Her:
it's all good! i'm so so so glad we started walking back last night or else i probably would have been in trouble too
have you heard anything from the girl?

Me:
****? (this is the girl who got alcohol poisoning last night who was also my friend)

Her:
ehh yes

Me:
yea she had alcohol poisoning but shes ok now
shes getting kicked out of housing though
i feel really bad for her

Her:
omg damn. that's not good at all

Me:
she's fine though healthwise and that's all that truly matters

Her:
she shouldn't have gone out like that
that's very true
her parents mad?

Me:
yea but its no biggie they've gotten over it by now
they just cant trust her for awhile
i just kind of feel like a shitty friend i cant believe i let that happen to her....

Her:
it's not your fault though
the only thing, that we shouldn't have let her go out like that
that's the only thing

Her:
yeah...

Her:
oh well. i feel bad for like all of that happening last night, i was kind of drunk myself and i didn't know how bad it was until this morning

Me:
it'll be ok
it seemed like you had fun last night at least?

Her:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
yes...
hahaha

Me:
yeah i thought you were pretty funny actually :) (just to put things into perspective I saw her kissing a bunch of guys randomly in the hall at this moment)

Her:
haha thanks! i'm usually wayyyy more calmer than that lol
i'm actually pretty shy around people i don't know
i guess you didn't notice last night hahaha

Me:
I'm glad you weren't cuz you said hi to me at least. :)

Her:
hahahaha yup! well. the next time i'm at ga state we should hang out!
it wont be for a while though... haha

Me:
yeah i think we should too
hold on
********
thats my number
send me a text sometime :')

Her:
okie doke! i'll text you right now cause im actually about to get off haha



I think this is a good sign right...?
 

Spacebar

Member
Act chill. Just make casual conversation. Treat her like a normal person.

God damn I suck. I literally can't think of shit to say and going against everything I preach. I threw in some bull shit about the va tech game, but they're getting their asses beat so not much of a game to talk about. The vibe isn't there and mostly my fault for not jumping in sooner.

I feel so off tonight like I need to get out more on my own and practice interacting with random people again.
 
God damn I suck. I literally can't think of shit to say and going against everything I preach. I threw in some bull shit about the va tech game, but they're getting their asses beat so not much of a game to talk about. The vibe isn't there and mostly my fault for not jumping in sooner.

I feel so off tonight like I need to get out more on my own and practice interacting with random people again.

We all have our off nights. Sometimes I'm on fire with women and other nights, I feel really off my game.
 
On a more serious note, I'm almost tempted to be as ballsy as these guys, but I don't want to embarrass my friends, myself, and my school organization. Something tells me I would be notably more creeper if I tried pulling that off. XD
 

enzo_gt

tagged by Blackace
So yeah, I don't know if this is too LiveJournal-esque or anything, but I decided I would share it.

Last Weds, I met this girl. Totally random, she was a friend of a friend that just came to hang out and study and we hit it off. Now for the past year and a half, I had been fucking depressed as shit about my ex (only ex) breaking up with me and I thought I was too much of a loser who lacked social skills to ever get a girl again. I thought, and still do think, that to this day think, that I just got lucky and it was just a stroke of luck that got me the girl. Literally, one day I just got frustrated with being single and went up to this girl who I considered an acquaintance and started talking to her, one thing led to another and I had a year and a half long relationship with her.

But after the breakup, and what was a particularly difficult and rocky relationship, I thought all hope was lost really. Flat out, I took it like a bitch. I couldn't maintain a relationship, I could not prioritize the girl in the middle of all the other happenings in life, and I thought honestly that I'd never get a girl again cause I didn't know how to talk to them, and couldn't approach them. But now, out of nowhere, this situation arose where I got an "in" through a mutual friend that allowed me to bypass that introductory barrier of "what do I say? how do I start this conversation?"

This is, by no means what I'd say is a solution to the problem of not being able to open conversation, but it has indeed done something for my confidence level. Now that this girl and I are texting back and forth pretty much from dawn to dusk, it really does open your eyes to the value of being assertive when it comes to talking to girls and how in some cases, being yourself and not really withholding anything in fear of someones reaction can work out in your favour. A lot of the advice in this thread boils down to "just do it," or "stop being afraid," which is kinda difficult to process when you've built up this sort of mentality that you need to be adequate or adequately prepared or else you'll be insta-rejected, or even the mentality that you are guilty until proven innocent when it comes to being judged by the opposite sex.

But it's completely true. All that matters is confidence. The day I met this chick I couldn't possibly have looked any less adequately prepared or desirable; I hadn't shaved for a week and it was a particularly bad day acne-wise, but I stayed true to myself and didn't put up an act. And yet still I get a sense inside that she's very interested. It just goes to show that once you stop getting hung up on everything superficial, you can really come out as a winner where you least expect. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this as I'm kinda just streaming it out here, but I hope that if anyone takes away anything, it's that you gotta fucking believe in yourself before you expect others to believe in you, and I wish all my single brothers the best on their endeavors.
 

overcast

Member
So I touched bare vagina for the first time today!..

But seriously, apparently it kind of hurts when I stick my middle finger in. I have big hands so that may be the reason? She's a virgin, so that probably has something to do with it.
 
Good news and update:

I think this is a good sign right...?
Definitely a good sign, be careful not to over communicate though. If you're digging her then send her a text and see if you guys can do something next week.

So yeah, I don't know if this is too LiveJournal-esque or anything, but I decided I would share it.

Last Weds, I met this girl. Totally random, she was a friend of a friend that just came to hang out and study and we hit it off. Now for the past year and a half, I had been fucking depressed as shit about my ex (only ex) breaking up with me and I thought I was too much of a loser who lacked social skills to ever get a girl again. I thought, and still do think, that to this day think, that I just got lucky and it was just a stroke of luck that got me the girl. Literally, one day I just got frustrated with being single and went up to this girl who I considered an acquaintance and started talking to her, one thing led to another and I had a year and a half long relationship with her.

But after the breakup, and what was a particularly difficult and rocky relationship, I thought all hope was lost really. Flat out, I took it like a bitch. I couldn't maintain a relationship, I could not prioritize the girl in the middle of all the other happenings in life, and I thought honestly that I'd never get a girl again cause I didn't know how to talk to them, and couldn't approach them. But now, out of nowhere, this situation arose where I got an "in" through a mutual friend that allowed me to bypass that introductory barrier of "what do I say? how do I start this conversation?"

This is, by no means what I'd say is a solution to the problem of not being able to open conversation, but it has indeed done something for my confidence level. Now that this girl and I are texting back and forth pretty much from dawn to dusk, it really does open your eyes to the value of being assertive when it comes to talking to girls and how in some cases, being yourself and not really withholding anything in fear of someones reaction can work out in your favour. A lot of the advice in this thread boils down to "just do it," or "stop being afraid," which is kinda difficult to process when you've built up this sort of mentality that you need to be adequate or adequately prepared or else you'll be insta-rejected, or even the mentality that you are guilty until proven innocent when it comes to being judged by the opposite sex.

But it's completely true. All that matters is confidence. The day I met this chick I couldn't possibly have looked any less adequately prepared or desirable; I hadn't shaved for a week and it was a particularly bad day acne-wise, but I stayed true to myself and didn't put up an act. And yet still I get a sense inside that she's very interested. It just goes to show that once you stop getting hung up on everything superficial, you can really come out as a winner where you least expect. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this as I'm kinda just streaming it out here, but I hope that if anyone takes away anything, it's that you gotta fucking believe in yourself before you expect others to believe in you, and I wish all my single brothers the best on their endeavors.
Great post man.

While I don't agree that confidence is ALL that matters, it's certainly one of, if not the most important factors in talking to women. It's a tough thing to build, but when you do things really start to fall into place.

So I touched bare vagina for the first time today!..

But seriously, apparently it kind of hurts when I stick my middle finger in. I have big hands so that may be the reason? She's a virgin, so that probably has something to do with it.
Congrats! You just have to break her in a little, no worries.

feelsgoodman.jpg
 

SRG01

Member
I got hit by the Myspace angle earlier today. Shit.

Well, actually, it wasn't because she was overweight, but more that her photos were a complete misrepresentation of what she looked like.

On the bright side, I was looking pretty good today and had some mutual flirting with a coffee girl later in the day. Felt pretty confident too -- which was a first ever since the breakup more than two weeks ago.


Confidence is knowing that the pretty girl may be shy and awkward on the inside too.
 

enzo_gt

tagged by Blackace
Definitely a good sign, be careful not to over communicate though. If you're digging her then send her a text and see if you guys can do something next week.


Great post man.

While I don't agree that confidence is ALL that matters, it's certainly one of, if not the most important factors in talking to women. It's a tough thing to build, but when you do things really start to fall into place.


Congrats! You just have to break her in a little, no worries.

feelsgoodman.jpg
I should clarify, I meant all you need emotionally/mentally. The physical factor is there but confidence, IMO, triumphs over any construct you could possibly materialize in your head to aid you in the pursuit of your goals with the opposite sex. You may feel like you need an adequate persona, or need to change yourself or your traits for you to be even deemed lovable, but confidence, as hard as it can be to find sometimes, shatters those barriers and gets you so much closer to your goals rather than living to appeal to a facade.
 
So I touched bare vagina for the first time today!..

But seriously, apparently it kind of hurts when I stick my middle finger in. I have big hands so that may be the reason? She's a virgin, so that probably has something to do with it.

Ah... the feeling of taking a girl's virginity... magical, awkward, and scary all at the same time. Enjoy.
 

Miguel

Member
Just had the most fun date I've ever had. I have some work to do that I neglected to go on said date... but I will type out a quick update on it later on, pretty standard stuff but she was gushing about the date the entire time. Rise Against and Flobots were awesome too, so were Riverboat Gamblers.

Edit: just so I have a bit of a starting point when I post later... quote of the night was "This night has been so amazing, this has been the best first date I've EVER been on. Seriously. You win."
 

Kad5

Member
Definitely a good sign, be careful not to over communicate though. If you're digging her then send her a text and see if you guys can do something next week.


Great post man.

While I don't agree that confidence is ALL that matters, it's certainly one of, if not the most important factors in talking to women. It's a tough thing to build, but when you do things really start to fall into place.


Congrats! You just have to break her in a little, no worries.

feelsgoodman.jpg

Well I'm just gonna message her sometime in the week. I'm not sure if you could tell in the convo but i wasn't stressing too much if at all.
 
Minor update on my situation: I'm tired of being single/single life in general. Miss my ex GF terribly. Regret that I lost her and hurt a girl I really had something special with. I don't even want to hang out with other girls anymore... just want this one.

I almost feel like putting on that song 'Don't Know What You've Got' by Cinderella, getting drunk as fuck and crying while playing Battlefield 3/looking at pictures of me+her.

Sigh. Resist.
 
Just had the most fun date I've ever had. I have some work to do that I neglected to go on said date... but I will type out a quick update on it later on, pretty standard stuff but she was gushing about the date the entire time. Rise Against and Flobots were awesome too, so were Riverboat Gamblers.

Edit: just so I have a bit of a starting point when I post later... quote of the night was "This night has been so amazing, this has been the best first date I've EVER been on. Seriously. You win."
Awesome, brother! Can't wait to hear about it.

Minor update on my situation: I'm tired of being single/single life in general. Miss my ex GF terribly. Regret that I lost her and hurt a girl I really had something special with. I don't even want to hang out with other girls anymore... just want this one.

I almost feel like putting on that song 'Don't Know What You've Got' by Cinderella, getting drunk as fuck and crying while playing Battlefield 3/looking at pictures of me+her.

Sigh. Resist.
Drunk + Battlefield 3 isn't a bad mix at all, just take out all that other stuff and you've got a successful night.

Really though I wish there was something I could say to you that would make things easier, but there isn't. I think you're at the low point of this situation right now and things will eventually start to look up. Break ups are never easy, especially when you still hold a lot of emotional baggage from the situation, but it does and will get better.

Hang in there. And seriously, have a few beers and turn on Battlefield. Anything to keep your mind off the situation for awhile.
 

JambiBum

Member
Had a pretty good time tonight with a girl from pof. At first it was going to be just us but then her friend came along with her boyfriend. Normally I would have been a little annoyed but they were good people so it just made the night more enjoyable. I can be a pretty funny guy so I had everyone laughing most of the night. They live in the middle of nowhere so we had to drive a while to get to the movie. Saw Tower Heist which was a surprisingly decent movie. Made out with her during the movie. After we got back I dropped her friends off and then her. Hugged and made out some more. She ended up getting locked out of her apartment on accident so I had to take her to her friend's so I got two goodnight kisses lol. Overall it was a pretty good night. Lasted like 6 hours total.

There are only a couple of negative things I can see about this girl and they aren't even that bad. The first being that she is a little on the dumb side. Not horribly dumb or anything, just your typical ditzy girl.

The second thing is that she is moderately religious. Not religious in the sense that she's against premarital sex or anything though. Mostly just that she goes to tries to go to church as much as possible. As long as it doesn't affect the relationship negatively I don't really care though. I have nothing against someone being religious as long as they don't try to bring me into it. But as anyone who has ever dated someone with opposing religious views knows, it doesn't always work out that way. Hope it does though.
 
wat? I live and Florida and did not know it is rape if the girl is drunk. Nobody teaches that shit!

Really? They were relentless in telling me this when I was a freshman in college back in 03 and then later on when I had to take a freshman level class and the teacher brought in people from the student help center to speak to us.
 
Awesome, brother! Can't wait to hear about it.


Drunk + Battlefield 3 isn't a bad mix at all, just take out all that other stuff and you've got a successful night.

Really though I wish there was something I could say to you that would make things easier, but there isn't. I think you're at the low point of this situation right now and things will eventually start to look up. Break ups are never easy, especially when you still hold a lot of emotional baggage from the situation, but it does and will get better.

Hang in there. And seriously, have a few beers and turn on Battlefield. Anything to keep your mind off the situation for awhile.

Thanks man. She told me tonight she wants to have 'break-up sex', which is really sexy and cute of her. I'm really pleased by this because A. she is the best kisser ever B. I've never had more passionate, romantic sex than with her, and C. I love her so it's gonna 'feel good, man.'
 

Spirit3

Member
Thanks man. She told me tonight she wants to have 'break-up sex', which is really sexy and cute of her. I'm really pleased by this because A. she is the best kisser ever B. I've never had more passionate, romantic sex than with her, and C. I love her so it's gonna 'feel good, man.'

I... this... I just don't... am I the only one who thinks that considering how this guy feels toward his ex that having sex with her is a really bad idea, especially if it's just going to drag him back into break up misery when she says "i don't want to get back together"? Sounds like your getting your hopes up. Then again, stranger things have happened (not to me d: )
 
Be happy. If you had sex with her when she was drunk, the law would have dictated that as rape (at least in Florida anyway).

holy shit what?
what if we're both drunk? double rape?
what if only the guy is drunk, did the girl rape him then?
knowing the hypocrisy of the law, probably not.
this is so fucking stupid.
 

Minamu

Member
I'm pretty sure it's on the individuals in a society to learn the laws of where they live. You can't really blame your ignorance on the system in this case, imho.

Edit: Take this message board for instance. It's up to you to know what rules to follow, and if you don't follow them, you're kicked out. You can't blame it on simply not knowing you shouldn't post racist comments or whatever. It's part of the social contract to read up on what rules are in effect.
 

ecurbj

Member
So yeah, I don't know if this is too LiveJournal-esque or anything, but I decided I would share it.

Last Weds, I met this girl. Totally random, she was a friend of a friend that just came to hang out and study and we hit it off. Now for the past year and a half, I had been fucking depressed as shit about my ex (only ex) breaking up with me and I thought I was too much of a loser who lacked social skills to ever get a girl again. I thought, and still do think, that to this day think, that I just got lucky and it was just a stroke of luck that got me the girl. Literally, one day I just got frustrated with being single and went up to this girl who I considered an acquaintance and started talking to her, one thing led to another and I had a year and a half long relationship with her.

But after the breakup, and what was a particularly difficult and rocky relationship, I thought all hope was lost really. Flat out, I took it like a bitch. I couldn't maintain a relationship, I could not prioritize the girl in the middle of all the other happenings in life, and I thought honestly that I'd never get a girl again cause I didn't know how to talk to them, and couldn't approach them. But now, out of nowhere, this situation arose where I got an "in" through a mutual friend that allowed me to bypass that introductory barrier of "what do I say? how do I start this conversation?"

This is, by no means what I'd say is a solution to the problem of not being able to open conversation, but it has indeed done something for my confidence level. Now that this girl and I are texting back and forth pretty much from dawn to dusk, it really does open your eyes to the value of being assertive when it comes to talking to girls and how in some cases, being yourself and not really withholding anything in fear of someones reaction can work out in your favour. A lot of the advice in this thread boils down to "just do it," or "stop being afraid," which is kinda difficult to process when you've built up this sort of mentality that you need to be adequate or adequately prepared or else you'll be insta-rejected, or even the mentality that you are guilty until proven innocent when it comes to being judged by the opposite sex.

But it's completely true. All that matters is confidence. The day I met this chick I couldn't possibly have looked any less adequately prepared or desirable; I hadn't shaved for a week and it was a particularly bad day acne-wise, but I stayed true to myself and didn't put up an act. And yet still I get a sense inside that she's very interested. It just goes to show that once you stop getting hung up on everything superficial, you can really come out as a winner where you least expect. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this as I'm kinda just streaming it out here, but I hope that if anyone takes away anything, it's that you gotta fucking believe in yourself before you expect others to believe in you, and I wish all my single brothers the best on their endeavors.
Just exactly what I needed to hear in the bolded and awesome post by the way. Thanks again bro. And I wish you the best also. I'm definitely using your advice. It really starts at you loving yourself and caring for yourself and not giving a fuck what people think about you as far as gossip and criticism is concerned.
 

Kinitari

Black Canada Mafia
So, I went to this college event, it was pretty okay - I got a lot of attention cause of all my dancin'. There was one girl in particular who was cute, but more importantly, her personality was really super attractive. I still haven't asked a girl out in my life, so even though I told myself I would, I didn't get her number (or her name, it was too loud for me to catch it when she told me it).

BUT, I took the most initiative I've ever taken in my entire life with a girl, and I emailed a mutual friend and asked him if he knew if she was single, and if he could give me her contact info. He wasn't 100% sure if she was single, but he gave me her full name to add onto facebook.

So... I requested an add just last night, when(if) she accepts... where do I go from there? I'm starting to get all in my head and wonder if she seemed at all interested, like I thought she did last night.

What makes me think she was; she initiated conversation on multiple occasions with me, asked my name/what I was taking in school, talked a lot about my dancing in a friendly way, at one point asked me to dance for her sister (she missed all my dancing), all and all... there seemed to be interest, but I don't really know what interest from a girl looks like yet, at least not with 100% certainty. GAF tell me to relax/what to do next.
 

Eggo

GameFan Alumnus
So, I went to this college event, it was pretty okay - I got a lot of attention cause of all my dancin'. There was one girl in particular who was cute, but more importantly, her personality was really super attractive. I still haven't asked a girl out in my life, so even though I told myself I would, I didn't get her number (or her name, it was too loud for me to catch it when she told me it).

BUT, I took the most initiative I've ever taken in my entire life with a girl, and I emailed a mutual friend and asked him if he knew if she was single, and if he could give me her contact info. He wasn't 100% sure if she was single, but he gave me her full name to add onto facebook.

So... I requested an add just last night, when(if) she accepts... where do I go from there? I'm starting to get all in my head and wonder if she seemed at all interested, like I thought she did last night.

What makes me think she was; she initiated conversation on multiple occasions with me, asked my name/what I was taking in school, talked a lot about my dancing in a friendly way, at one point asked me to dance for her sister (she missed all my dancing), all and all... there seemed to be interest, but I don't really know what interest from a girl looks like yet, at least not with 100% certainty. GAF tell me to relax/what to do next.

Don't be afraid to fail. Otherwise you'll never learn.
 

Angry Fork

Member
Have a question. I have 1 problem: being witty. I used to be able to make everyone laugh, especially girls when I was younger, but then I turned introvert, stayed home more often, etc. and you guys know the rest of the story.

Now after years of that I have the personality of a wet rag (at least in front of people I don't know. If someone knows me then I become more open). But I'm just not good at steering conversation in my favor. There's guys that can turn any statement into a joke or witty line that makes people smile.

That's what I need because right now if I were to go up to anybody I'd go completely brain dead/freeze. I'm unable to just simply think of an interesting topic to talk about right then and there, so it makes me seem boring. But really it's just the nerves and the expectation that a guy is supposed to make a woman laugh and feel comfortable. If I were to feel comfortable with this ability then the confidence would come very easily. The "have more confidence" advice doesn't work if you have no clue what to say once you get up to the girl. It feels like I might have to write mock dialogue and conversations and memorize that, try to anticipate what she might respond with etc. but that all seems very technical for no reason. Conversation should be fluid and improvisational (which I'm terrible at).
 

JambiBum

Member
Have a question. I have 1 problem: being witty. I used to be able to make everyone laugh, especially girls when I was younger, but then I turned introvert, stayed home more often, etc. and you guys know the rest of the story.

Now after years of that I have the personality of a wet rag (at least in front of people I don't know. If someone knows me then I become more open). But I'm just not good at steering conversation in my favor. There's guys that can turn any statement into a joke or witty line that makes people smile.

That's what I need because right now if I were to go up to anybody I'd go completely brain dead/freeze. I'm unable to just simply think of an interesting topic to talk about right then and there, so it makes me seem boring. But really it's just the nerves and the expectation that a guy is supposed to make a woman laugh and feel comfortable. If I were to feel comfortable with this ability then the confidence would come very easily. The "have more confidence" advice doesn't work if you have no clue what to say once you get up to the girl. It feels like I might have to write mock dialogue and conversations and memorize that, try to anticipate what she might respond with etc. but that all seems very technical for no reason. Conversation should be fluid and improvisational (which I'm terrible at).

I'm kind of one of those guys that you are talking about. I can play off of almost anything and make someone laugh. Sometimes what I say doesn't work but if that happens I don't let it bother me. You can't make everyone laugh all of the time. Don't worry about expectations. More importantly don't try to be someone you are not. If you freeze up trying to think of conversation topics on your own then just play off of what other people are saying. If you have stories that tend to be funny but you don't know how to bring them into a conversation then wait until something someone else says leads into it. Even if it is only semi related. That will at least get your foot in the door. Most guys think that they always have to take the lead on things and that isn't the case at all. I'll use something that happened to me last night as an example. We were all sitting in the theater waiting for the movie to start and somehow the subject of my baby face got brought up. I looked younger than everyone that I was with even though I was the oldest out of the group. I just went off of that topic and told a couple of funny stories that pertain to my baby face.

Don't go into a situation with expectations on what you should do. If you really want you can set some goals for yourself as to what you would like to get out of the situation. Take baby steps until you start to get more comfortable. I know it can be difficult but when you go into a new situation don't worry about what someone else thinks of you. Just worry about yourself at first. You said that you open up more when you are around people you know, try to be that way all of the time. Once I learned to just be myself around everyone I started to have a lot more success. The most important thing I have learned is just to be yourself. Don't try to be anything else because it just comes off as fake and people can pick up on it super quickly.
 

Cubsfan23

Banned
Now after years of that I have the personality of a wet rag (at least in front of people I don't know. If someone knows me then I become more open). But I'm just not good at steering conversation in my favor.


You've convinced yourself that this is true. Tell yourself the opposite.
 

Mr.City

Member
Have a question. I have 1 problem: being witty. I used to be able to make everyone laugh, especially girls when I was younger, but then I turned introvert, stayed home more often, etc. and you guys know the rest of the story.

Now after years of that I have the personality of a wet rag (at least in front of people I don't know. If someone knows me then I become more open). But I'm just not good at steering conversation in my favor. There's guys that can turn any statement into a joke or witty line that makes people smile.

That's what I need because right now if I were to go up to anybody I'd go completely brain dead/freeze. I'm unable to just simply think of an interesting topic to talk about right then and there, so it makes me seem boring. But really it's just the nerves and the expectation that a guy is supposed to make a woman laugh and feel comfortable. If I were to feel comfortable with this ability then the confidence would come very easily. The "have more confidence" advice doesn't work if you have no clue what to say once you get up to the girl. It feels like I might have to write mock dialogue and conversations and memorize that, try to anticipate what she might respond with etc. but that all seems very technical for no reason. Conversation should be fluid and improvisational (which I'm terrible at).

The main problem isn't that you want someone to date. You want an audience for your supposed stand-up routine. I would bring an applause sign to your next social gathering.
 

hipgnosis

Member
So... I requested an add just last night, when(if) she accepts... where do I go from there? I'm starting to get all in my head and wonder if she seemed at all interested, like I thought she did last night.

Start talking to her casually at FB Chat. Throw in a couple of flirtatious jokes. Ask her phone number and call her the next day or something and ask her out. Profit.
 

Angry Fork

Member
The main problem isn't that you want someone to date. You want an audience for your supposed stand-up routine. I would bring an applause sign to your next social gathering.

1. This is condescending for no reason.
2. You need to be at least halfway funny/amusing to get girls, don't act like this isn't true.

Thanks Jambi and Cubs for the responses btw.
 

JEKKI

Member
aw maaaaaaaan. check this out;

I went to a wedding last nite!! Met an amazing girl! we hit it off, talked for hours about stuff like kpop and my new iphone and stuff,

she's 35... I'm 27 @_@

dont get me wrong, she's maad cool and Im definitely gonna hang out with her later and stuff,

but the thing is... would you go for it??

freakin korean girls lol. she looked 29
 

pelicansurf

Needs a Holiday on Gallifrey
holy shit what?
what if we're both drunk? double rape?
what if only the guy is drunk, did the girl rape him then?
knowing the hypocrisy of the law, probably not.
this is so fucking stupid.

I agree with this. I've hooked up with a bunch of chicks while we were both drunk and it was by no means rape. This is so silly and even sillier are the dudes saying: 'Don't sleep with drunk chicks!' Basically every person going out to the bar is a potential rapist. LoL.
 

Kad5

Member
aw maaaaaaaan. check this out;

I went to a wedding last nite!! Met an amazing girl! we hit it off, talked for hours about stuff like kpop and my new iphone and stuff,

she's 35... I'm 27 @_@

dont get me wrong, she's maad cool and Im definitely gonna hang out with her later and stuff,

but the thing is... would you go for it??

freakin korean girls lol. she looked 29


Yes tap that, Korean girls are beautiful and very youthful.
 

Mr.City

Member
1. This is condescending for no reason.
2. You need to be at least halfway funny/amusing to get girls, don't act like this isn't true.

Thanks Jambi and Cubs for the responses btw.

You need to not be a dish rag, however if the only reason why you want to be amusing/funny is to get girls, then it's an role that you play for them. There are a lot of shoulds and "how should I's" in your post, but I hear every little about your ability to connect to people. To me, it sounds like you want to be this way so people will like you, and thus, you need to be a certain way in social settings.

The real issue is how do you feel with these people? Do you feel you need to perform? Do you feel apathetic/bored? I have dated quite a few women and was funny/goofy/ silly. However, the relationships didn't last long because there was nothing deeper to them.
 

JEKKI

Member
Yes tap that, Korean girls are beautiful and very youthful.
Im not jus trying to tap tho.

thing is I've been dating been trying to meet women, showing them my new iphone and all that, and none of them interest me.

Im so jaded and when I finally find one that clicks with me so much more than the others, there's this one glaring thing that's really irking me.

there's still so much to learn about her, yet for some reason I cant see having her friend-zone me as a bad thing at all.
 
showing them my new iphone and all that, and none of them interest me.

First thing, great job for being able to just click with a girl. It's one of those great feelings.

Second thing, are you here in the US or another country? If you think showing a girl an iPhone will make you seem "cool" it really won't simply due to the sheer amount of them out in society now. You become interesting when you don't have a smartphone I've found. Simply because you have a story to go with it and it can sometimes make you look really good too, i.e. being in control of your finances and saving and spending wisely. Now if you are outside of the country in a place that just got them, then yes they might still carry some uniqueness points and be the talk of the town right now simply due to newness and demand.

Maybe say you just got one and you love it and if they have one ask for tips about it and what apps they use. Would probably be a great way to break the ice and share something between you two. But don't lead with it, like you seem to be saying. You have a lot more to offer a woman than a cool phone. Talk to them about that, add in the phone later in the conversation.
 

Minamu

Member
kinitari: Well, you could ask her if she and her boyfriend had fun at the party? Pretty normal and polite question to ask, I think. I used it on the girl I mentioned on the previous page and she responded with a "Oh, so I have a boyfriend now? ;)" so it can get to the point really quickly :)
 
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