I feel your pain.
I really wish I could turn off my sex drive for the next few years :/
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GirlGAF |OT 2| Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Eve?
- Thread starter Devolution
- Start date
I really wish I could turn off my sex drive for the next few years :/
Professor Beef
Banned
I don't wanna sound like I'm defending him, because I'm not, but has he shown any effort at all in changing his ways? My mom and dad fought a lot, but he actually went through the steps to change himself (counseling, etc). They never got back together, but they did get back on speaking terms.
Femmeworth
Banned
Did he go to rehab? Is he seeing a therapist and/or on medication?
Indeed.
My opinion?
People can change. Though I doubt whether the relationship can stay the course. Love really is a bunch of chemicals if you stay with somebody who beats the fuck out of you.
Objective stuff?
(sorry I'm doing this from memory, and couldn't at a glance google exactly the material I was looking for)
With proven government interventions (scientifically accredited courses), and the help that comes with that, reoffending was lowered by around 1/3 (sorry can't remember exactly, but it was around this figure).
I do know that this cognitive therapy doesn't work with everyone. And I do also recall that if the person hasn't been reported already to the police, they should already have done. Iirc, domestic violence is one of the most under-reported crimes.
Men suffer from domestic violence as well, and this is more common then supposed. And I don't want to scare you, but domestic violence is one of those crimes, where things can get out of hand very quickly.
When I wrote about this for a story, the victim made some ground rules, whereby, if at any point she felt unsafe, she had to absolutely, be allowed to leave the house, no questions asked. Even if it appeared to be the most silly thing to do. And I think this was based on something I read, but alas, I can't find that either.
In short, I'd advise you to lay your concerns in as clear a coherent manner as you can, but also allow, that she too is an adult, and it is she who has to make the call. It doesn't help to be overcritical and unsupportive.
I've never been through it myself, but my best friend just got out of an emotional (and almost physical) abusive relationship.
He will not change unless he goes through some therapy. You really need to talk to your sister to how he's proved himself to not be abusive. Even so, I strongly think that it's best for your sister and that guy not to be involved again.
CleverGirl
Neo Member
I don't think he's going to rehab or has had any sort of therapy because she hasn't said anything about it to me. He's the type who may have had to go to court ordered therapy. Honestly when I voiced my concerns about him all she said was that she was with him for a whole month without any abuse. I just *_* and also maybe made some snarky comments.
This is a problem of mine and I recognize it. Yes just be optimistic, believe in my sister's judgement, and...ugh.
This is a problem of mine and I recognize it. Yes just be optimistic, believe in my sister's judgement, and...ugh.
shanshan310
Member
Me too, but my boyfriend is so tall so it doesn't work very welll ;.; I wish we could do it standing up, but again -_-
There is something nice about being able to look at your partner during sex though.
Um, is this conversation okay with google?
I don't suppose you have to support her decision [or make her believe that you think she is right in what she is doing], just support her right to make the decision. I think if she is the victim, it does no good to make her feel stupid as well.
If it were my family, we would deal with it differently. We're very serious folk [to our eternal detriment], and our sense of humour is of the serious dark type too sometimes.
If it were my sister, I imagine I'd say something like: think clearly. don't get dead.
But we come from a council estate background, and my sister, I would like to think can take care of herself.
edit: I understand that this doesn't help you, but I hope you can see both the seriousness I think is needed to be applied here, and having said that, that 'being level-headed' approach is best in my opinion. In the end, do what you will, but that's all I got. Though I doubt it, I hope this helps.
Evillore is on holiday.
CleverGirl
Neo Member
Everyone has been very helpful. I appreciate your advice. I just needed some sort of plan. Gain patience and become emotionally supportive and less condescending is my new plan. My tongue is going to be bleeding constantly.
So has anybody found a good concealer for combination skin? Specifically dry patches.
So has anybody found a good concealer for combination skin? Specifically dry patches.
My cousin is in a somewhat similar situation, her husband abuses her mentally and hit her a few times. I dunno what to do myself! She won't leave because she thinks she's ugly and old and nobody would want her anyway.
EDIT: I don't think you should keep quite and not say anything!! She's your sister!! If she is in an abusive relationship you have to say something.
Under eye area or the face?
Bobbi brown creamy concealer for under-eye and Laura Mercier Secret Camouflage for face. Only use Bobbi brown now a days because my face has been pretty clear lately. No blemishes or spots or spot marks.
shanshan310
Member
I post on gaf
I also eat a lot, drink tea, draw chinese characters, paint, and play games. Depends what kind of stress it is, I suppose. If its assignment related and I'm stressed about it, usually I will make a list of things I need to do and then go to sleep. When I wake up my mind is very clear, and I'll get a lot done.Femmeworth
Banned
Oh dear.
Exercise and running are good ways of relieving stress. I find activities that require a lot of concentration are helpful as well. Gaming, cooking, drawing, etc.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
That's bullshit.I'm keeping quiet, on the other hand. The less said of the things I've done, the better.
Fine, I've been involved in a 4vs1, bdsm, a2m and "swapping". Don't just say something like that then not participate,
shanshan310
Member
I don't know what half of those are >< (was 4vs1/ swapping? Even google won't tell me...) though hopefully I get a pass for being young. No kinky sex stories from me, yet.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
4vs1 is me with 4 guys.
Swapping is, well, quite the contrary from swallowing.
And it's k, Shan, you didn't say "woohoo Im so kinky... Not sharing anything though"
shanshan310
Member
lol.
Sex with more than one other person seems like it would be sexy in theory, but awkward in practice.
Sex with more than one other person seems like it would be sexy in theory, but awkward in practice.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
That's where all the pr0n pays off, you get ideas. Also, I wouldn't say "sexy" :lol
That said, while 3 is manageable, 4 got indeed complicated.
Also, didn't read the abusive relationship thing. I would've gotten into one when I was ~15, but bailed out of that shit.
Oh no, it's that I end up feeling really awkward when I talk about sex sometimes, especially on my end. Not to insult, but I hate to fumble.
BladeWorker
Member
+1 for exercise. I go a little crazy if I don't get a good sweat on now and then.
Boxing is great, and my preferred method. Fringe benefits (good conditioning, killer arm muscles, clearer head) are pretty awesome too.
Lists can get overwhelming, but if you make yourself a fluid list (items that you can later move around as your priorities change) it can help you focus on what needs to be done first, and then you can get a sense of satisfaction from pulling something off that list and ripping it to shreds.
If I'm beyond the point where exercise will work, going to a lake and sitting on a dock somewhere helps me get to my zen place.
Adorable. c:
Isn't that the point? I'm not jogging because I'm already in shape! I'm jogging because I'm fat!
You would look WAY more cuter if you didn't had that "Horror movie poster" expression
But than again ... what am I saying ?
[/less photogengic person alive]
It helps me to laugh at myself too. Haha. I am totally inflexible too, so I breathe and lol all at the same time. It's fun.
Femmeworth
Banned
Idk, I took a whole semester of yoga in high school and it just didn't work out for me >.< Still pretty inflexible.
Jealous of the jogging though, I wanna start doing that myself ;3 ... Just gotta not be so lazy heh.
I guess that's what New York does to people.
How was I supposed to know you guys put a premium on using your restrooms in fast food restaurants. :I
Cuz we not cheap
Pshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
CleverGirl
Neo Member
I find masterpiece theater dramas to be supremely relaxing. Of course this is a tricky relaxation plan and may have to be used in conjunction with the exercise plan. Because I find that in the middle of a good Jane Austen adaptation, I've eaten around 7500 calories.
Devolution
Member
Got this today. To grind things
.Femmeworth
Banned
Time for some Afternoon Deelite I take it.
Got this today. To grind things
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Damn.
D:
PhoenixDark
Banned
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
The swapping wasn't happening among the 4 guys right..?
It's always been strictly between girls.
PhoenixDark
Banned
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
And as in lending dresses, you know you'll rarely get it back.
Always glad to clarify.
Devolution
Member
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