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[Cindi Mayweather]

I don't feel nearly conventionally attractive enough to get attention online. I made an OKCupid profile YEARS ago, but didn't really do anything with it.



No, I haven't done anything.

I'd like you to try OK Cupid again.

You need confidence and it can be a confidence booster.

Also try using Tinder. Just sign up, don't plan on using it to hook up. Use it for finding matches and people messaging you to hook up. It'll make you feel good.

Then when you've got some confidence, make that OK Cupid account.

What do you mean not conventionally attractive?

 

[Leeness]

Edit: never mind.

 

[trab pu kcip]

I don't feel nearly conventionally attractive enough to get attention online. I made an OKCupid profile YEARS ago, but didn't really do anything with it.



No, I haven't done anything. I've just started to figure out how to have fun masturbating over the last year or so(toys help, who would've thought? XD), so any sex experience I have is strictly solo.

seems like you just need to work on your self-esteem! be bold! there's nothing to lose. if it doesn't work out you can always delete your account and go back to RL

 

[iirate]

What do you mean not conventionally attractive?

I gained a bunch of weight due to unemployment a while back and have been allergic to cameras since. I've never been tiny, but I stayed fit and active through college and am really self-conscious about how I look now.

I'm also trans, which complicates dating quite a bit. I have passing privilege, but I'm also non-op and have no intention of getting surgery, which means that I'm more likely to attract fetishists as well.

I've come a long way with regards to self-care and confidence, but I know that I still have a ways to go.

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

I gained a bunch of weight due to unemployment a while back and have been allergic to cameras since. I've never been tiny, but I stayed fit and active through college and am really self-conscious about how I look now.

I'm also trans, which complicates dating quite a bit. I have passing privilege, but I'm also non-op and have no intention of getting surgery, which means that I'm more likely to attract fetishists as well.

I've come a long way with regards to self-care and confidence, but I know that I still have a ways to go.

I think you should get back to working out. I think it'll help you with a lot of things. Self esteem and confidence for one. Being self conscious isn't good. I say work on it. You can do it.

As for being trans, I have some trans friends who are non-op or pre-op and had success on OK Cupid. As long as you disclose you should be fine. There will be weirdos who pm you but there will also be decent surprisingly open-minded men on the site.

Self esteem and having confidence are important. Keep at it!

 

[Morrigan Stark]

No, I haven't done anything. I've just started to figure out how to have fun masturbating over the last year or so(toys help, who would've thought? XD), so any sex experience I have is strictly solo.

Whaaa.... really

How did you last this long? Genuinely curious

 

[iirate]

I think you should get back to working out. I think it'll help you with a lot of things. Self esteem and confidence for one. Being self conscious isn't good. I say work on it. You can do it.

As for being trans, I have some trans friends who are non-op or pre-op and had success on OK Cupid. As long as you disclose you should be fine. There will be weirdos who pm you but there will also be decent surprisingly open-minded men on the site.

Self esteem and having confidence are important. Keep at it!

I want to get active again, and wish I wasn't struggling with it so much. Just a few years ago, I'd get up at 5, go for a jog, do my morning yoga, walk to and from work, be on my feet all day at work, then do P90 before bed. I got out of those habits after quitting that job, and haven't recovered.

I have some serious self-esteem issues dating back to grade school, and transition has helped a lot with those issues in some pretty unexpected ways. Basically, I now think pre-transition me was pretty cute, which I never felt back then, which made me realize that a lot of my feelings of unattractiveness that I have are in my head. Even then, every day is an exercise in unlearning negative thought patterns. Some days(certainly more than ever before) I feel good about how I look, but stuff like my avoidance of cameras shows that I'm not where I want to be, either.

EDIT:

Whaaa.... really

How did you last this long? Genuinely curious

My body ran on testosterone for 26 years, and I didn't really need to enjoy it to do it. Once I started hormone therapy, my buttons were different, and while masturbating felt way better than before, I suddenly felt like I didn't know what I was doing anymore, so it got a lot harder. At this point, I just... stopped. Over the next couple of years, I masturbated only a handful of times.

The thing is, I knew I needed to be masturbating, even though I wasn't. When you have a penis and your body isn't producing testosterone, things can, uh, atrophy unless you're actually using what you've got. I decided that I needed to masturbate at least weekly, which meant that I needed to start having fun. I did some research and picked out a vibrator and an anal toy, and everything is soooo much better lol. Multiple orgasms aren't uncommon(and each one feels better than they ever did before). I usually masturbate every 3-4 days now, which is a frequency I'm pretty happy with.

 

[Professor Beef]

Nah. They don't have brains and stuff. They'd need a more complex nerve system

Not a lot of men do either tbh

...wait a minute

 

[Nudull]

I've been having some trouble in the sex department, too.

To make a long story as short as I can; I am polyamorous, and I've been currently seeing one other partner. While neither of us are above having fun with each other every once in a while, my partner is not only asexual but has gone through a traumatic experience with rape and abortion. I do have my needs and curiosities with myself, but I wasn't about to put pressure on him, so I've been trying to date and explore myself with others. Hasn't quite gone well, unfortunately.

I do feel a bit isolated with my own sexual inexperience, and I often get nervous with sex talk in general (despite my openness).

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

At the shopping mall right now splurging... with my SO \o/

One of the perks of having a gf

XD

 

[liliththepale]

At the shopping mall right now splurging... with my SO \o/

One of the perks of having a gf

XD

lol that was me earlier today. Had a super stressful day at work so I fixed it by heading to the mall with my best friend. Sometimes it feels like there's no anxiety that retail therapy can't fix.

 

[Morrigan Stark]

Hate shopping. I find it stressful and not fun at all.

 

[liliththepale]

What part of it is stressful?

The only time I can think of when shopping is stressful is if I'm buying a gift for someone and have no idea what to get them, or when I know exactly what kind of thing I want to buy but can't find it anywhere despite looking at several stores.

 

[iirate]

What part of it is stressful?

The only time I can think of when shopping is stressful is if I'm buying a gift for someone and have no idea what to get them, or when I know exactly what kind of thing I want to buy but can't find it anywhere despite looking at several stores.

I typically like shopping alone, but whether or not I like shopping with someone else really depends on the person. I can get extra anxious and feel rushed when with someone else, or get irritated if I feel they're being pushy. I do feel like I have more friends that I like shopping with than ones I don't, though.

 

[InfiniteNine]

Me shopping is going to a mall looking at things and not buying anything but pizza or pretzels with cheese then seeing a movie.

 

[liliththepale]

The only stressful part of shopping for me is looking at my credit card the next day.

^___^

Yeah, sometimes. Although I'm usually pretty careful about knowing what I can spend going in and adding up all the prices and taxes as I go along.

I typically like shopping alone, but whether or not I like shopping with someone else really depends on the person. I can get extra anxious and feel rushed when with someone else, or get irritated if I feel they're being pushy. I do feel like I have more friends that I like shopping with than ones I don't, though.

Hmm, good shopping buddies are patient about all that. Plus it's great to try on outfits and immediately get validation or recommendations from someone you trust! Or to go in on a new set of vases together >_>

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

I like shopping as a reward. I like saving up for one big item and rewarding myself with it. I like doing that rather than shopping sprees. I admit I'm not much of a spender for the most part.

 

[InfiniteNine]

Only real big thing I bought for myself lately is a GTX 1080 a few days ago not sure if going to the salon and having my hair cut and colored again counts. lol

 

[Marmaladefire]

I like to shop alone. I hate dressing rooms because they make me feel bad about myself and have a pretty spot on eye for what will fit and what won't, and other people make me feel anxious shopping. I've been doing most of my clothes shopping online lately anyway. Plus almost all my female friends get bored and irritable if I want to go look at games and electronic stuff.

Also this weird thing where they invite their boyfriend/whatever at the time even if he isn't there at the start (either because they had plans later, she suddenly invited him to our plans, or one of them were going to the other's place after). And I hate third wheeling. I don't think it's even comprehensible how much I hate third wheeling. Your PDA makes me massively uncomfortable, I don't give a fuck about his opinion on anything in my life or our social circle unless I have a separate at least half friendship with him, Most days I barely even want to hear your opinions under the influence of his presence and I don't want to get a drink or watch a movie or whatever with the two of you afterward. I can deal with all of this if there's someone else that I can use as a buffer or commiserate with, but if not? I'm awful, I know. I just can't help it.

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

At the shopping mall right now splurging... with my SO \o/

One of the perks of having a gf

XD

Mine hates shopping thank god cause I do, too.

She's really low key and down to earth in terms of style which I really like.

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

Mine hates shopping thank god cause I do, too.

She's really low key and down to earth in terms of style which I really like.

mine is the same! we both hates shopping but usually after a year or two, we will grudgingly go and splurge

lol

but ugh. i hate going around and around and around and around and around at the shopping mall. SO TIRING.

though having her around to bounce off opinions is really making the experience much better. she's honest and i can always trust her when she says a thing looks bad or good on me.

...





we both loves shopping for gadgets though. but ... that, that's different right? :>

our next gadget purchase we are planning to save up for is a proper photography camera, with lenses and stuff \o/

 

[Professor Beef]

our next gadget purchase we are planning to save up for is a proper photography camera, with lenses and stuff \o/

ignore the megapixel talk

that's all the advice I can really remember from the time I worked with cameras

 

[Leeness]

I like shopping for gadgets and games and things like that. Shopping for clothes rarely happens and tends to end in tears and with nothing purchased. I've gone years without buying new clothes because I hate it so much.

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

mine is the same! we both hates shopping but usually after a year or two, we will grudgingly go and splurge

lol

but ugh. i hate going around and around and around and around and around at the shopping mall. SO TIRING.

though having her around to bounce off opinions is really making the experience much better. she's honest and i can always trust her when she says a thing looks bad or good on me.

...





we both loves shopping for gadgets though. but ... that, that's different right? :>

our next gadget purchase we are planning to save up for is a proper photography camera, with lenses and stuff o/

I'm the techie between the two of us; she's an athlete so she spends her money on Nike stuff and food and sports equipment lol.

I don't think we'll be going shopping together anytime soon and that's OK with me

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

My man works with computers so I leave all the tech buying to him.

What do y'all mean by gadget shopping ?

I love shopping for lingerie, clothing, makeup, and, for whatever inexplicable reason, cute containers. I'm going to need a walk in closet room @.@

Like, buying gadgets. Cameras, phone stuff, computers, etc. I actually need to buy some parts for my PC but I'll do that next paycheck. I'm not super into makeup but I like using it. I just don't go crazy.

 

[olympia]

i live in a house with 3 guys and i'm the tech support

which reminds me i have to work on my boyfriends "new" computer tomorrow, which was a hand me down. the case is fucking huge and there's a heatsink on top of the cpu the size of my head

not looking forward to it

in other news i can't get pokemon go to work

 

[Aiustis]

I love buying pc parts and alcohol.

Hate clothes shopping. I'm an in and out kind of person when it comes to clothes shopping. Never took more than 30 minutes.

 

[Professor Beef]

Like, buying gadgets. Cameras, phone stuff, computers, etc. I actually need to buy some parts for my PC but I'll do that next paycheck. I'm not super into makeup but I like using it. I just don't go crazy.

so what you're saying is...you have gadgets and gizmos aplenty

do you also have whozits and whatzits galore?

?

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

Next big purchase is an Asus laptop with an GTX 1000 series. Waiting for them to announce it.

 

[Jobbs]

I've always wanted to do the whole "trying on clothes and getting thumbs up or thumbs down reaction from friend" montage in real life, but it never really goes that way. It looks so fun in movies!

I love shopping for lingerie, clothing, makeup, and, for whatever inexplicable reason, cute containers. I'm going to need a walk in closet room @.@

I relate to 3/4 of these.

 

[Leeness]

in other news i can't get pokemon go to work

I'm in Canada, but downloaded it on my US iTunes account and had it working, but then my friend told me some Canadians doing the same thing we're getting banned, so I deleted 😩 But it worked, though after I closed it once, I couldn't get it going again (was getting the server issue).

Hate clothes shopping. I'm an in and out kind of person when it comes to clothes shopping. Never took more than 30 minutes.

This, but I usually end up with nothing. Go in, stare at things, think "this won't look good on me", leave in tears. I don't know why I bother lol.

 

[Kinsei]

I'm in Canada, but downloaded it on my US iTunes account and had it working, but then my friend told me some Canadians doing the same thing we're getting banned, so I deleted 😩 But it worked, though after I closed it once, I couldn't get it going again (was getting the server issue).



This, but I usually end up with nothing. Go in, stare at things, think "this won't look good on me", leave in tears. I don't know why I bother lol.

No one is getting banned. All of the ban rumors originated from a single tweet. I'm Canadian and have been playing it since Thursday.

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

I tend to get makeup in bulk so when I need it I won't have to bother going to the store for some. I hate doing that shit so I tend to buy in pairs. Since I tend to buy locally, I can't rely on late night hours either.

I buy clothes so that they can match with a previously bought item. I'll usually go with one or two outfits at a time, and that way I make up 5-10 outfits out of previous bought clothes. Much easier on the purse. So I'll buy two or three pairs of clothes per season, and then after maybe two years donate most of it to charity because it'll be out of fashion if it's not good or classic. Then I start over. My warddrobe is constantly rotating year to year but I try to make it as purse conservative as possible. That said, I do tend to stick to classical wear that doesn't go out of style. I also tend to not follow fashion. Well, too much at least. Hehe.

 

[Leeness]

No one is getting banned. All of the ban rumors originated from a single tweet. I'm Canadian and have been playing it since Thursday.

Hahaha damnit.

Oh well, it wasn't working other than the first time I opened it and I've already deleted it, so I can wait until it gets officially released in Canada.

 

[suzu]

I like shopping, but I don't like taking forever to walk around and browse.

 

[Kisaya]

I take forever. I need to try on clothes cause some never fit me right, and sometimes I get some really nice things after really looking.

 

[suzu]

I take forever. I need to try on clothes cause some never fit me right, and sometimes I get some really nice things after really looking.

I legit waited 20min for my cousin to try on two pairs of jeans. BRB my ass. 😭

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

my SO is the techie between us. im the spontaneous, bubbly and social one and she's more analytical, quiet and thinky one. im in HR, she's in IT.

i leave most of tech and gadget purchases to her but we both have come to really enjoy taking pics of our doggie so the camera purchase is one of the more gadgetty types that i can get involved in \o/

but PC stuff, graphic cards, phones, home theatre, sound hardwares etc is her domain

most of my shopping is .... grocery /.__.\ and even that, i already a bit internally groaning (occasionally)

like some of you, i like to spend as little time at the shop as possible, so i usually plan what i need first before i go and then WHOOSH

but yes, yesterday was the ~dreaded~ clothes/fashion shopping. but we haven't gotten any clothes in a year and a half or so. hahaha. i got so much stuff yesterday \o/ cuz it's just end of financial year here, so LOADS and LOADS and LOADS of sale. some shops had up to 70% off

WAHEY~

 

[InfiniteBento]

I primarily only shop IRL for makeup. Ill shop for clothing once every 2 or 3 months.

 

[Juke Joint Jezebel]

Signed up for a mud wrestling event at my towns metal/alt club. It's to raise money for cancer research so it should be a good laugh. Better dig through my swimsuits! It's happening midnight next saturday so hopefully we'll raise a ton! Free drinks is a bonus too!

 

[trab pu kcip]

Signed up for a mud wrestling event at my towns metal/alt club. It's to raise money for cancer research so it should be a good laugh. Better dig through my swimsuits! It's happening midnight next saturday so hopefully we'll raise a ton! Free drinks is a bonus too!

yeah we kinda need pics for that sounds like a fun thing

 

[timetokill]

Signed up for a mud wrestling event at my towns metal/alt club. It's to raise money for cancer research so it should be a good laugh. Better dig through my swimsuits! It's happening midnight next saturday so hopefully we'll raise a ton! Free drinks is a bonus too!

Sounds like a fun time!

 

[NipplesAndToes23]

I used to be an Avon representative so I get all my makeup through them, well my mother since she's one as well.

 

[Jobbs]

Signed up for a mud wrestling event at my towns metal/alt club. It's to raise money for cancer research so it should be a good laugh. Better dig through my swimsuits! It's happening midnight next saturday so hopefully we'll raise a ton! Free drinks is a bonus too!

yeah we kinda need pics for that sounds like a fun thing

sounds fun and yes, pics!

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

Asus please announce the GTX 1080 laptop PLEASE I'm begging you!

 

[Aiustis]

This, but I usually end up with nothing. Go in, stare at things, think "this won't look good on me", leave in tears. I don't know why I bother lol.

Just wear what you want. My policy for shopping is: I like that thing and I'm wearing it.

 

[Juke Joint Jezebel]

yeah we kinda need pics for that sounds like a fun thing

Sounds like a fun time!

sounds fun and yes, pics!

Well, there's gonna be a production team there so you may get more than pictures. There was a screening process though which was a bit odd! There was a panel and everything.

 

[gaiages]

I'm weird about shopping. Sometimes I wanna browse clothes, but to most people my browsing is really fast, lol. My body type makes it that I only really buy stuff at a couple different stores now, because otherwise it's a nightmare to figure out what fits. I made the mistake of buying a pair of pants online at Walmart... and they're like super baggy everywhere but the waist, where I can't even button it. It was bleh.

The one thing I universally HATE shopping for are work shirts for the office. I swear, sleeved shirts are made for people with twigs for arms. I have a few non-stretchy long sleeve shirts for the office, and one of them I literally need my boyfriend to help me get out of, it's stupid. But finding button up shirts that are made out of a stretchier material is like a damn unicorn. I managed to find one. Just one. So now I have some sleeveless shirts and I hate them -_-

Other than that though, shopping for clothes can be fun, especially when I fit in a size smaller than expected :3

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

My thing with clothes is sometimes I'll just go to the store just to try clothes on with zero intention on buying them just to test out how they would look. Anyone else do this?

 

[Juke Joint Jezebel]

My thing with clothes is sometimes I'll just go to the store just to try clothes on with zero intention on buying them just to test out how they would look. Anyone else do this?

Considering the majority of my clothes are metal band t-shirts and tanks, cargo pants and shorts, the occasional leather spiked bracelets and steel toe-cap boots, I barely ever go shopping just to try clothes on. Haha! I just slap it on, check if it's comfy, then pay and go. I'm usually 15 minutes in clothes shops at a stretch!