I have no idea why people are making fun of Microsoft for this Pizza Hut app? It's fucking incredible. People would love it if Google or someone else did it. Oh well, I'll be too busy living in the future where I can order pizza from a motherfuckin game console to listen to anyone.
>2015
>Your Xbox 420 is crisp out of the box, set up and ready to go
>Beautiful minimalist console that's incredibly quiet and has a minute ecological footprint, generates its own wifi hotspot to support always-online games
>Kinect functionality has improved to the point that it can track individual fingers, locking the console with a voice-specific password is available, and most game UI has a toggleable navigation function
>Playing Halo 5, though it was released in the US as
HALO: Rex Sacrorum and
HALO: Endless Ianuarius internationally
>Multitasking is available, such as downloading content while playing a game thanks to the admirable amount of RAM dedicated to the OS
>Playing War Games with GAF members
>Infinity is the only available multiplayer component
>You call down a Combiner and have it stolen and you're killed, losing the lead
>To promote a more visceral, organic environment, the console itself detects this and begins to aid your team
>Every console tied to the losing Blue Team begins emitting a virtually untraceable vapor known in-house as
augmentium oxide, utilizing core components from compounds found in Adderall, Concerta and organic Adrenaline
>Effects are as of now unknown but a string of coincidences are appearing in Xbox players, notably complete halting of melanin production and acquired immunodeficiency, as well as rare cases of "rotting out wombs" during exposure longer than four hours
>Game finishes
>Joking with fellow GAF members in the post-game lobby which now has dynamic ads, requiring 2GB bi-weekly patches to allow for new products to appear
>Crack a joke, uttering "feed it pizza"
>Realize what your curmudgeon tongue has just wrought
>Your family has "feed it pizza" as a Kinect HotComm (hotkey-style shortcut applied to vocal recognition)
>Without question, your Xbox 420 sends an order matching your game results; a corporate partnership has allowed Pizza Hut and Microsoft to intermingle to maximize sales, sending six Meat Lovers' pizzas to your house, matching your KD of +6
>Pizzas are now loaded with amphetamines to improve digital performance but costs have skyrocketed
>Xbox 420 posts your $667.83 purchase to Facebook, Twitter and OmeGAF, a partner of the Gaming Age Forums and Cool Ranch Doritos after Kevin Franklin's purchasing of the site in 2014
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