I would like to amend my previous post with the following before additional hilarity ensues;
1. I have not, at any time, made love to a jar of mayonnaise, microwaved or not. I would also extend this to include any additional condiments, foodstuffs or inanimate objects. It was just the grossest strange thing I could think of on the spot. For those formerly enjoying potato salad, egg salad, or various other mayonnaise-based dishes... ewwww. That stuff is nasty even without somebody squelching their chub in it.
2. I have no idea if Hitmonchan is a guy or a girl, so I will not be responding to the underage comment but I'm pretty sure it's wrong either way. If there's Turf on the field, you must be playing Halo 2 DLC, amirite?
3. If I ever end up at a convention and bump into a GAFer, is there some secret handshake or codewords we can exchange so we can ditch my wife and split a warm jar of mayo?