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How were you spanked?

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From ages 4 to 6, I got a hand full of whoopins from my mother, but that's about it. I vividly remember what I did to make em happen, and I remember the spankings themselves. As I am now 35 and have had more than enough time to reflect on them, read other peoples opinions and think about whether I deserved them or not...and I come to the realization that yeah my ass deserved them whoopins. I did some real bad shit during those years, from hitting my mom (I was a kid and had no realize I stood no chance in a direct confrontation. I thought I was bad ass as all fuck.) to lighting shit on fire and being a down right unruly and cocky little cunt.

(Whoopins = spankings. She NEVER hit me in the face or anywhere else besides my alabaster keester.)

I don't have any trauma or feelings of malice towards my mother. These days, she thinks about the times she whooped me and feels immense amounts of regret, remorse and has apologized numerous times. I told her not to be. I have said that even though it could be a rare instance, getting my ass whipped on occasion did help me to change my shitty attitude pretty quick at a young age.

That being said, I don't do physical punishment as a form of discipline, and I shudder to think of ever hitting a child despite not liking kids in general. While it did work on me, I honestly don't want to use physical force on anyone ever again even as a "form of discipline". I've never hit a child, been in too many fights and caused too much pain to others. I hate myself for it every day.
 
britta-switch.gif


with emotional stress
 

Meesh

Member
Wooden spoons, brushes, open palm, you name it. If it was within reach that seemed to be today's flavor.

I learned my lesson dad.

Today I have 4 kids. We don't spank them and instead decided to explore other methods of punishment.

Haven't seen my dad in 10 years. (For the best)
 
My brother said my father spanked me at least once but I have no recollection of it. I have a general idea of being threatened with violence rather often, idk if it escalated but I basically lost all respect and probably love I had for my father
Sometimes I wonder if I'm traumatized because I have such little memories of my childhood.
 
No, but you probably picked the most egregious example. Also, next time clarify which parents you think should go to jail. There is a difference between a spanking and assaulting a child.

A lot of us here got a little open handed spanking and turned out better because of it.
? He said "some" - that's specific enough to indicate that there are some egregious examples (and there are more than one). And why the weird rule that he needs to cite every instance for you? Sounds like you're overreacting.
 

Strike

Member
Usually with a belt, but that rarely happened. Last time it did, I was 10 and it was with a hairbrush after I was caught forging my mom's name on a report card.
 

KevinCow

Banned
There is a vast difference between striking a child to cause pain and a open handed smack on the ass.

How is an open handed smack on the ass not striking a child to cause pain? Causing pain to discourage the child from repeating the bad behavior is exactly the purpose of the open handed smack on the ass.

I'll never understand the mental gymnastics of spanking defenders. "Yes, hitting kids is wrong. But this very specific way of hitting kids doesn't count as hitting kids, because I said so."
 

lordmrw

Member
I think I only got a swat on the ass once when I was little. I saw my older brothers fucking up and knew what not to do. Instead they made me and my other brother pump tire for like a half hour.
 
Wooden spoon. Until it broke. lol

My father never touched us. Never had to, when he talked we listened.
This is how it was with my dad as well. If he actually got mad enough to say something, you shut the fuck up and listened from now on.

My mom went for whatever was in reach!

Edit: I forgot how much she loved those plastic hangers lmao
 
A wooden kitchen spoon, bent over my mothers lap, bare assed. Shit left marks for days. My dad swung at me once when I was a teenager. He missed as I ducked and put a whole in our wall. We dont have a bad relationship, and that was the only time he ever tried to hit me.
 
How is an open handed smack on the ass not striking a child to cause pain? Causing pain to discourage the child from repeating the bad behavior is exactly the purpose of the open handed smack on the ass.

I'll never understand the mental gymnastics of spanking defenders. "Yes, hitting kids is wrong. But this very specific way of hitting kids doesn't count as hitting kids, because I said so."
I generally agree that using spankings to manage or regulate behavior is not a great idea. I do, however, think that there are some people who group every form of spanking together and label it all as barbaric and child abuse and horrific, and that feels like it makes it more difficult to have good discussion because it ignores degrees of severity and uses the harshest label for every instance. Would you say that that describes you? And if so, can you understand why someone who agrees with the overall point would disagree with your characterization?
 

Air

Banned
I was spanked with a leather belt, but it would be on my hands. I was also given a choice to get the belt or get my things taken away, and the belt was the quicker, easier punishment.

It didn't happen often and when it did, I can't say that I disagreed with the outcome.
 
How is an open handed smack on the ass not striking a child to cause pain? Causing pain to discourage the child from repeating the bad behavior is exactly the purpose of the open handed smack on the ass.

I'll never understand the mental gymnastics of spanking defenders. "Yes, hitting kids is wrong. But this very specific way of hitting kids doesn't count as hitting kids, because I said so."

Actually, nm.
 

Foxix Von

Member
I honestly only remember being spanked once. Gently to the point of having no effect. I don't even recall what I did exactly but my mother inevitably became enraged at me for something or another. I believe it was open handed, pants on.

Strangely my family wasn't big on physical aggression. They preferred more intimate threats like having things I loved being taken away from me. Having my father rip up Pokemon cards in front of me, or my mother just screaming at me, seemingly non stop, each day until I effectively disowned her. I don't have very many good memories of her. 😂
 

Dart

Member
My brother said my father spanked me at least once but I have no recollection of it. I have a general idea of being threatened with violence rather often, idk if it escalated but I basically lost all respect and probably love I had for my father
Sometimes I wonder if I'm traumatized because I have such little memories of my childhood.

I'm thinking the same too, I find it hard to remember my childhood, the things people (family relatives) say I did. I don't recall any of it, & I think I should. I know I was a "problematic" child to deal with by the sound of it, but as an adult I recognize some of the punishment I recall, was borderline abuse.

I am really close to my mom but the same cannot be said about my father, I resent my father for the way he treats me and others. I respect him for being a hard worker, providing for the family etc. but I do not respect him as a father figure. I have some fond memories of him I can recollect and I guess you could say I still care for him (like any other life), but I wouldn't say I love him.

I still hate the way he treats my mom, he has never laid a hand on her but he is very controlling & I am sure some of the things he has said to her are a form of verbal abuse. However she is a strong woman, she would do anything for me and my siblings.

Anyway I'll leave it at that, I'm just glad I can relate to others, it's tough thinking you are the only one when there so many people with a rough childhood. A perfect family does not exist. I hope to be a great father some day, and NOT have my kid(s) see me the same way I see my father. & yeah, as someone pointed out, I realize how coincidental my avatar seems LOL
 

velociraptor

Junior Member
I wasn't spanked. I was beaten up. However, I was such an asshole so I probably deserved it. But I'm thankful for it. It toughened me up. I used to spar with my dad at times too. But me and my dad are on excellent terms and I'm happy with the way he has raised me.

My younger brother got none of that. I feel like he's too much of a weak kid. He always claims to be depressed and sad but I do wonder if he would have the same mental outlook if he was given the tough love treatment. I try to tell him to be positive, to man up, and have a mentality of a warrior, not a worrier, but he seems to succumb in this usual self after minutes. He pretty much succumbs under any kind of pressure and becomes anxious fairly quickly over things.
 
I wasn't spanked. I was beaten up. However, I was such an asshole so I probably deserved it. But I'm thankful for it. It toughened me up. I used to spar with my dad at times too. But me and my dad are on excellent terms and I'm happy with the way he has raised me.

My younger brother got none of that. I feel like he's too much of a weak kid. He always claims to be depressed and sad but I do wonder if he would have the same mental outlook if he was given the tough love treatment. I try to tell him to be positive, to man up, and have a mentality of a warrior, not a worrier, but he seems to succumb in this usual self after minutes. He pretty much succumbs under any kind of pressure and becomes anxious fairly quickly over things.

More than any other post in this thread, this one makes me very sad.
 
So you too caught a smack on the ass?
lol Occasionally. That second one was rubber lining from the carpet. I had open welts on my ass and back.

The fresh green tree branches were a close second.

I was relatively good though and I'm just glad I wasn't beat like a grown man at the age of six like someone here mentioned about themselves...
 

88random

Member
675102_z1.jpg


But it was more for fear factor, they never really spanked me, just light slaps.


My friend on the other way... His parents used cable of a vacuum cleaner.
 

Violet_0

Banned
belt, until I hit early puberty and became too tall. I grabbed the belt, pulled it away and laughed it off. I was never really harmed as a child

my mother had a knife thrown at her in a fit of rage by her mother, among other things. Lots of bad beatings, too. My grandparents on my mother's side suffered much worse abuse by their parents. Basically with every generation things got a little better. I'd never think of hurting a child
 

frogg609

Member
Belt from my father. Worse was my mom with the metal end of a fly swatter. That thing hurt for ages after.

I don't hit my son. Don't think it helps.
 
Hand, wooden spoon, spatula, belt. I think it is abuse and would never do it if I had kids. I have forgiven my mother, but the tradition stops now.
 
Leather belt to the rump by my mother for things such as bad behavior or lowered grades.

I did far better in Middle/High School after those, so...thanks?
 
Open palm on the bum usually right after I misbehaved in a bad way. Never got any other devices or objects.

I was more worried about how angry my parents were than the real pain of it. I remember this other family we knew, they slapped their kids on the wrist and j asking my parents why they were afraid of that because it was so tame.

I had good parents though, that was more common then. I wouldn't spank a kid now but it's fine that I was and it was never anything bad
 

DJ_Lae

Member
Open palm, maybe twice when I was younger. My parents were pretty gentle, those two times they lost their temper and felt awful after.

Most people here sound like they were full on beaten as kids.
 

RowdyReverb

Member
I gotcha. That all makes sense. I think there's definitely value in reminding people that spanking doesn't actually work as they think it does, and that even if it's not causing physical harm it's still a bad idea. I think what happens in these threads is that some people take that stance and then use words that are heavily weighted with connotation--like, "child abuse" to me definitely carries the connotation that the parent is unfit to care for a child--which of course other folks get upset about because it feels like their parents are being attacked as monsters.

I'm not sure how to improve this conversation, really. I can feel myself getting defensive over it whenever it happens, which isn't productive on my end either. Usually I try to just stay out of arguments where that tends to happen, but then I'd already posted and all. :p
This is very insightful and pretty well describes the recurring problem with corporal punishment threads. There are obviously passionate opinions on the issue, which inevitably leads to hyperbole and puts even people without strong pro-spanking sentiments on the defensive. When somebody says that any infliction of physical pain upon a child is equivalent to child abuse, I admit it gets me riled up, because of what it implies about my own parents and my upbringing. It also dilutes the concept of what true child abuse is, which can be offensive to people who have witnessed such horrors first-hand.
When my parents spanked, which was rare and never unnecessarily cruel, it always came from the right place. They explained why what I did was wrong and what the spanking was the consequence of, and did so out of love and caring for myself and my brother because the best parenting literature at the time and even their religion supported spanking.
 

Mumei

Member
My father used an open palm and struck my bottom or my brother's bottom; my mother used an open palm and on occasion a wooden spoon. My brother and I were always clothed.

And no, I don't think spanking is acceptable.
 
hand or belt if really bad
if the belt started getting unbuckled, i knew i had F'ed up and a lot of times that was enough and my dad were notice it and not go all the way. Sometimes he did.

Live and learn. Spanking only happened under the most extreme fuck ups on my part
 

Izuna

Banned
The heel part of high heels.

Also I'm scared of waking up in the morning because they used to throw water on me to wake me up.

I automatically cower when people raise their hand.

Please don't hit your kids people.
 
Belt on the back of the legs. People spanked on the butt had it good.

Hurt like hell and left welts, but never left any lasting marks.
 

Peltz

Member
My mother didn't hit... she uses Jewish-mother guilt trips and emotional scarring instead. It's way more effective. Some of my favorites:

"If you date her, I'll be embarrassed."

"You never call me."

"You can't date her, she looks a filthy half-breed."

"I wish we were closer."

"You never ask me about my day."

"I gave you the best years of my life, and this is how you act."

"No son of mine is going to throw away everything I worked so hard to create by marrying some low class scum."

My mother: a woman of tact and class.
 

Bumbles

Member
Mum was always with the wooden spoon, or 'Wait till your father gets home'. Dad had a horrid temper, but I only ever recall getting the belt on my palms once from him, the threat of him coming home was usually enough to pull us into line.

My brother copped the garden hose across the backs of his legs that left bruises on them for days when he was 4, however he was a real sadistic shit of a kid and in this instance he got into our car, pulled the handbrake off and gleefully 'drove' it and crashed it into our neighbours brand new car, still giggling as he got out. Dad lost his shit.

I used to give my kids a whack on the hand or back of the leg when they were little, attention getters more than anything, more sound than force, usually to stop them doing dangerous stuff - hands on the oven, about to run into traffic etc, you cant reason with a toddler, they dont understand why they shouldnt stick their hands in an open flame but they do remember last time they tried they got a smack on the hand. Once they were old enough to place value in possessions, removing their favourite toy usually did the trick. I rarely have to raise my voice to them now, as they have learnt over the years, what is threatened will be carried through with (changing the wifi password is the best one in my arsenal atm!)

My brother on the other hand, married a school teacher and vowed never to spank their kids. They have one of the most misbehaving, tantrum throwing little shits (2yrs old) I have ever seen, and I see them both trying to sit and calmly have deep and meaningful conversations with him about his behaviour while he is screaming on the floor throwing mashed potato at their face, its frustrating to watch. I understand their choice for a non spanking approach, but they havent implemented anything remotely effective in its place.
 

User1608

Banned
My dad used belts and peppers and hands. It sucked and he's a dumbass who's thankfully not here to be an idiot anymore. Physical abuse is never justified. It's for losers. Parents are not immune to being fucking abusive idiots.
I wasn't spanked. I was beaten up. However, I was such an asshole so I probably deserved it. But I'm thankful for it. It toughened me up. I used to spar with my dad at times too. But me and my dad are on excellent terms and I'm happy with the way he has raised me.

My younger brother got none of that. I feel like he's too much of a weak kid. He always claims to be depressed and sad but I do wonder if he would have the same mental outlook if he was given the tough love treatment. I try to tell him to be positive, to man up, and have a mentality of a warrior, not a worrier, but he seems to succumb in this usual self after minutes. He pretty much succumbs under any kind of pressure and becomes anxious fairly quickly over things.
Pathetic post and outlook.
 

Daingurse

Member
Got whupped with that +4 Str/Stam belt most of the time by my mom, bare-handed the rest of the time. Also recall one instance of an extension cord. Didn't do shit positive for me, because my life is pretty fucked up. All it did was make me bitter as fuck, and I resented my mom for a long time. The fact that our relationship is so strong now in is hilarious in a sense. I can't really hate her because she was incredibly damaged while trying to raise me.
 

velociraptor

Junior Member
My dad used belts and peppers and hands. It sucked and he's a dumbass who's thankfully not here to be an idiot anymore. Physical abuse is never justified. It's for losers. Parents are not immune to being fucking abusive idiots.

Pathetic post and outlook.
I personally won't ever hit my kids (unless they do something absolutely crazy such as taking drugs) but there are certain circumstances it may be justified. Imagine if you have a kid who shows complete disrespect to parents and others, hurls profanities at others every 10 seconds and hits others. What do you do? I was that kid. Looking back as a kid, I can't believe I use to treat my mother so badly. I used to order her to do everything and anything for me. If she didn't comply, I'd go mental. I used to fight with my other brother on a regular basis. I had gotten in punch ups with my cousins many times over the most trivial and silly reasons. Should I have been rewarded with a gold star and some cotton candy for these actions? How would you handle such a kid?

One thing I really, really regret is getting a belt to hit my aunt when I was 7. Why? Because I wanted to play a fucking video game and she said no. She died from a major illness a couple of years afterwards. Man, I was such a cunt. Never used to treat others well unless things went my way. I had zero respect for anyone, and I know my parents regularly tried to instil good values in me - my dad used to speak to me pretty much on a weekly basis. I'm happy during my early teens I realised what a cunt I was and I made a turnaround in who I was.
 
Never been spanked once, if anything I'm grateful that I was born in the 80's heard my mother telling about she got hit when she was younger, typically she falls back in the "it did us no harm" rhetoric.

Worse still those were the days when that also happened at school and it was totally legal at the time.
 
My brother said my father spanked me at least once but I have no recollection of it. I have a general idea of being threatened with violence rather often, idk if it escalated but I basically lost all respect and probably love I had for my father
Sometimes I wonder if I'm traumatized because I have such little memories of my childhood.
That's normal.
 

User1608

Banned
I personally won't ever hit my kids (unless they do something absolutely crazy such as taking drugs) but there are certain circumstances it may be justified. Imagine if you have a kid who shows complete disrespect to parents and others, hurls profanities at others every 10 seconds and hits others. What do you do? I was that kid. Looking back as a kid, I can't believe I use to treat my mother so badly. I used to order her to do everything and anything for me. If she didn't comply, I'd go mental. I used to fight with my other brother on a regular basis. I had gotten in punch ups with my cousins many times over the most trivial and silly reasons. Should I have been rewarded with a gold star and some cotton candy for these actions? How would you handle such a kid?

One thing I really, really regret is getting a belt to hit my aunt when I was 7. Why? Because I wanted to play a fucking video game and she said no. She died from a major illness a couple of years afterwards. Man, I was such a cunt. Never used to treat others well unless things went my way. I had zero respect for anyone, and I know my parents regularly tried to instil good values in me - my dad used to speak to me pretty much on a weekly basis. I'm happy during my early teens I realised what a cunt I was and I made a turnaround in who I was.
Well I don't think hitting them would do any good. I'd instead perform other disciplinary actions like cut their allowance or restrict their tv/gaming time or even ground them for a short period. Make them lose their privileges so they don't behave badly again. I apologize if I came off too harshly, and thanks for responding kindly but I just feel that corporal punishment is the wrong way to teach a child a lesson considering the potential it has to backfire in the future (depression, PTSD).
--
I am so sorry about your aunt. My condolences and at least you turned out well.
--
It messed me up and I am still working out issues to this day. I certainly learned that if I ever have a child that I would never hurt them the way my father did to me. My mom thankfully punished me without any need to hit me and instead taught me lessons and instilled the good values I have. She made me the person I am today and I am forever thankful for that.
 
Spare the rod, spoil the thread.

Wooden slats and/or "chancla" (didn't know those thick wooden sandals had a name) on the palms of my hands. Stung like a motherfucker. Well into the "age of reason". Dad punched with lots of verbal abuse at mom and the brothers. Hit on the ass and thighs. Ears pulled. It was just as much about humiliation and fear of physical pain.

I was a good kid, and I was a smart kid that could be persuaded in other ways, and so were my siblings. I just wasn't perfect. I always try to be now and I'm really hard on myself when I'm not.
 
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