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[Rei_Toei]

From a Chrono Cross review:

...a large part of the story deals with the repeatedly disproven theory of "evolution"... Long ago, the ChronoCross story goes, the Reptiles ruled the world. Even if we ignore the blatant attack on Humanity's God-given position as ruler over the animals, we cannot as Christians turn away from the fact that these Reptiles "evolved" from prehistoric lizards into a super intelligent race that built cities and worshiped their own pagan Lavos god.

It has been shown repeatedly that there is no way for such a complex social being as a Human (or a social reptile) to have developed from some crude animal. Only through God's grace were humans ennobled with gifts of mind and soul. Not to mention that these glorified lizards worshiped a satanic creature "Lavos." Lavos is the undeniably a metaphor for Lucifer/Satan. He is said to have "fallen from the stars into the heart of the world," from where he controls and manipulates mankind's destiny contrary to God's plan. Indeed, he has possessed the lovely Schalla through a grotesque union and uses her body to tempt and confuse our hero. It is the ultimate corruption of a mother figure into a demonic and evil force akin to Satan's first corruption of woman in Eve.

Also, a fragment of Lavos is one of the most important objects in the game. "The Frozen Flame" is really a feather shed by the Fallen One. And yet instead of being an symbol of sin and betrayal against God, it is made up to be a source of infinite power that the hero must acquire and use. How can this be anything but an attempt to encourage our youngsters to themselves stand up against God's wisdom? Lastly and most importantly there is Fate. "Fate" is a gigantic computer that was built by humans to control their lives and destinies. Fate is the force that pulls the hero between worlds and affects the resurrection of Lavos. Instead of finding his calling through contemplation and prayer, the hero must obey this false idolized god, manufactured by his own kind.

Nothing could be more insulting to Christianity: There is only the one true God, and he is quite clear that we should not worship idols. The game makes kids feel like building and idolizing a computer as a god is a reasonable thing. To have our fates decided by this machine rather than God's plan is therefore okay. This is perhaps the most dangerous of the game's messages because in today's society, computers (and computer games) have become such a large part of kids' lives that they might even be willing to listen to such a suggestion. As Christian adults, it is our duty to see that our children have the chance to experience the joy of finding and following God's plan through prayer and worship of Him - NOT some phony mechanical "Fate" that would seek to control us all. With dangerous advances in "artificial intelligence" we humans are already very close to subverting God's order. Already important decisions are made with the advice of these number-crunchers in place of advice from God, and it is not long until we will deliver ourselves fully into the hands of Satan and some giant New Order machination.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg - the highly sexualized female characters, the ugly emphasis on violence and destruction, the demonic characters (like Lnyx, a being disfigured by Satan into a cat-demon) and their witchcraft are so common place in games today, that it seems hardly worth mentioning. In summary, I would have to disagree very strenuously with the reviewer - There are so many messages from Satan throughout the story that any reasonable Christian will steer their kids away from this game. Nonetheless is is a very technically beautiful game and is addictively fun, and therefore all the more insidious and dangerous. My Ratings: [1/5]

From'Christian Answers'. Maybe stuff like this is very old, but it made me laugh .

 

[SolidSnakex]

The Shin Megami Tensei review they do should be hilarious.

 

[Do The Mario]

Should post there reviews off to game rankings

 

[RiZ III]

oh... my.. Gawd. That was hilarious. Its great how these crazy religous nuts can interpret this game in such a ridiculous way.

 

[aoi tsuki]

Old, but interesting. The thing that gets me is when the reviewer(s) criticizes a game's relevancy from a Christian standpoint, when the developer obviously wasn't making the game from the same standpoint.

i'm almost afraid to see what they'd rate MegaTen games, if they're even allowed on the site.

Edit: These are also some of the worst reviews ever in terms of content and formatting, only slightly better than a customer at EB who won't shut up about a game when someone makes the mistake of asking if he's played it.

From the F-Zero GX review:

There is a level where you have to race against your own soul and a they mention something about 2 universes with one being the underworld but you shouldn't really put much thought into that since your have to concentrate on memorizing the tracks anyway and that doesn't really bother me when I do think about it.

"Hey God, i was playing Grand Theft Auto and i was supposed to kill the Haitians, but i was so busy looking for a church i completely forgot about that."

 

[TheDuce22]

Maybe they should just avoid role playing games all together. The majority of them have the pope or some religious figure as the ultimate evil in the universe. Im sure they loved the ending of grandia 2.

Spoiler

Where the pope turned into a giant demon butterfly after going insane and the people of the world realized they did not need a god.

 

[Rei_Toei]

Breath of Fire II and Final Fantasy Tactics probably scored good too .

 

[Fowler]

The "repeatedly disproven theory of evolution?".

 

[MrPing1000]

other interesting Christian fact. HIS the graphics card maker is a Christian graphics card maker. They are pretty good to

 

[Scrow]

http://www.christiananswers.net/spotlight/games/2000/xenogears.html

Christian Rating: 1 of 5
(very offensive)

 

[DDayton]

They seem to have changed reviewers a few times.. the new reviewer seems to go out of his way to "excuse" games.

"In conclusion, this game is one that could be considered very offensive to some Christians and not so much to others. While the game does have many references to the occult and a fair share of violence, I want to point out that this does not make it a bad game. It is a video game and nothing but a simple, made up fantasy. I feel that to truly enjoy any video game, you must be able to separate fantasy from reality, especially for your kids.
-- Eternal Darkness review

 

[Kon Tiki]

The Shin Megami Tensei review they do should be hilarious.

Read theSH4 review in the mean time.

 

[Rocket Punch]

Heh, Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker Rating 2/5 (offensive)

I'm going to take a lot of heat for what I'm about to say, but I'm honestly disappointed in the spiritual content of WW. The Great Faeries somewhat resemble the Hindu goddess Shiva. Link gains the ability to "possess" certain objects and even a few specific people. Every few minutes it's "the gods this, and the gods that...", the Windwaker contains "the power of the gods", you get a certain ability from the wind god and the ability to travely quickly through cyclones from the cyclone god, and the Tower of the gods has the G in gods capitalized (yeah I know, it's part of the name but still...), and the two sages when mentioned are said to be praying to the gods. The only redeeming thing from the entire gods issue is in one instance you have to kick the cyclone god's butt (which I really enjoyed). What really did it for me though, was that there is a point in the game where it is required to seek out two sages to pray to the gods for the master sword to be reenergized.

The game actually says something along the lines of "your prayers were answered and the master sword regained some of its power!" And for people whom would try to say "oh it's just fantasy" try talking to your pastor about it and see what he says... be sure to tell him about the Temple of the gods and the two wind gods, and the praying sages. But I'm a "thou shalt have no other gods before me" kinda guy, so I took this game back and asked for a refund. Yes, I've already been criticized for this, and surprisingly mostly from Christians. For those that think a 2 is too harsh, I would have given this a 1 except for the fact that I felt this game didn't deserve to be placed in the ranks of Diablo and Grand Theft Auto III. If it weren't for the praying bit, I'd have given this a 3 and would probably still have the game.

 

[Ollie Pooch]

sonic heroes :

Surprisingly there are a few offence elements in this game. First off one of the characters (Amy) uses the name "God" in vain after acquiring a 1up. This doesn't’t happen often, but it is there. Another problem found with this game was that Roug the Bat has a body figure of a human woman and reveals a little too much. And the last offence was that the Chaos Emeralds contain this power to transform Sonic into Super Sonic, making him invincible for a period of time. Like the other games, these Chaos Emeralds are not posed as containing any magic.

 

[P90]

The "unproven theory of evolution".

Is more accurate as there are Many Many questions not answered. Notabably that is statistically impossible for mere random chance to have even little proteins evolved in the current lifespan of the universe. Also, evolution stands in total contradiction to the first (?) law of thermodynamics... Many, many questions about the theory of evolution.

 

[kitchenmotors]

other interesting Christian fact. HIS the graphics card maker is a Christian graphics card maker. They are pretty good to

A Christian graphics card maker?

....

That's just fucking silly.

 

[Bregor]

Also, evolution stands in total contradiction to the first (?) law of thermodynamics...

No.

 

[boutrosinit]

That is the best site in the world. E-v-a-h.

I've not been this amazed and amused in a while. Seriously. They should link that shit on B3TA

 

[Che]

Is more accurate as there are Many Many questions not answered. Notabably that is statistically impossible for mere random chance to have even little proteins evolved in the current lifespan of the universe. Also, evolution stands in total contradiction to the first (?) law of thermodynamics... Many, many questions about the theory of evolution.

Now don't get me started on a gaming forum about evolution but most of the theories
have been proven. How life started from a single cell (they simulated earth conditions some billion years ago and guess what -life was created) till how the species evolved.

While the language is certainly no worse than other Square titles like "Final Fantasy VII" and "VIII", it may be offensive to some.

Offensive??? In what century do these guys live for god's sake? Where did they find it offensive???

 

[Rei_Toei]

From the GTA3 review:

"Grand Theft Auto 3" is not a game many Christians will be interested in.

Ah. Figures...

There’s always more than one way to beat a mission but they all involve copious amounts of violence. Had "GTA3" allowed the player solve missions more peacefully it could’ve been far more rewarding.

 

[Suikoguy]

They have to right to post whatever reviews they want. But you have to be really dense to find Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker Offensive

 

[Ollie Pooch]

They have to right to post whatever reviews they want. But you have to be really dense to find Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker Offensive

but they put capital "G"s in the name of the Tower of the Gods!

 

[robochimp]

Is more accurate as there are Many Many questions not answered. Notabably that is statistically impossible for mere random chance to have even little proteins evolved in the current lifespan of the universe. Also, evolution stands in total contradiction to the first (?) law of thermodynamics... Many, many questions about the theory of evolution.

No to your whole post.

 

[Vormund]

Let's not derail the thread ok?

In a similar vein to that Christian gamer site, I stumbled across a site aimed at deaf gamers (reviewed accordingly), makes you think of stuff that we take for granted when it comes to storylines in games.

 

[kitchenmotors]

My god, what morons. They rate Sonic Heroes more offensive than America's Army. Find the logic in that. Little animals running around as opposed to voilence based on the real world.
And America's Army is a shit game, yet it's rated quite high.

You're supporting terrorists if you play Sonic Heroes! You're a proud American if you play America's Army.

 

[Kon Tiki]

My god, what morons. They rate Sonic Heroes more offensive than America's Army. Find the logic in that. Little animals running around as opposed to voilence based on the real world.
And America's Army is a shit game, yet it's rated quite high.

You're supporting terrorists if you play Sonic Heroes! You're a proud American if you play America's Army.

America's Army is God's Army.

God Bless Amercia.

 

[Do The Mario]

God Bless Amercia.

Capital g omg teh offensive! Censor this thread!!

 

[DarkGiygas]

At least they got the 1/5 score right.

 

[iapetus]

Notabably that is statistically impossible for mere random chance to have even little proteins evolved in the current lifespan of the universe.

You are clueless. The person who told you this is also clueless. Have a good day.

 

[Che]

My god, what morons. They rate Sonic Heroes more offensive than America's Army. Find the logic in that. Little animals running around as opposed to voilence based on the real world.
And America's Army is a shit game, yet it's rated quite high.

You're supporting terrorists if you play Sonic Heroes! You're a proud American if you play America's Army.

I'm not gonna comment on this, cause I'm gonna get banned. Note, though, that I really really wanted to comment on this.

PS. iapetus indeed he is.

 

[DCharlie]

the things that gets me about evolution :

1. those pesky fossils
2. why X billion years of single cell organisms, then 2 million years = basically everything that's on the planet now - what factors trigger that change?

Anyways, i'd love to see some whacked out JPN Christian games...

a Argent game like Ore no Ryori where you have to nail youself to a cross (obviously impossible) but using unique joy pad controls, a hypersports esque cross carrying event, a made in wario style "put the ear on the roman" game, Halo - take on the holy covenentant... in a eucharist eating competition to the DEATH!! etc etc....

 

[Draff]

nm.

 

[Musashi Wins!]

Is more accurate as there are Many Many questions not answered. Notabably that is statistically impossible for mere random chance to have even little proteins evolved in the current lifespan of the universe. Also, evolution stands in total contradiction to the first (?) law of thermodynamics... Many, many questions about the theory of evolution.

haha. Every once in a while someone on GAF makes a post that puts the rest of their persona into a context that makes for larger fun.

I want to go to this link and see what they approve of.

 

[lexi]

Is more accurate as there are Many Many questions not answered. Notabably that is statistically impossible for mere random chance to have even little proteins evolved in the current lifespan of the universe. Also, evolution stands in total contradiction to the first (?) law of thermodynamics... Many, many questions about the theory of evolution.

Two words: Natural Selection

 

[NLB2]

Is more accurate as there are Many Many questions not answered. Notabably that is statistically impossible for mere random chance to have even little proteins evolved in the current lifespan of the universe. Also, evolution stands in total contradiction to the first (?) law of thermodynamics... Many, many questions about the theory of evolution.

Since earth is constantly recieving energy from the sun, evolution does not contradict the second law of thermodynamics, which is what you are reffering to. Entropy only aplies to a closed system, that is, a system that never gains or loses energy.

 

[Bregor]

Since earth is constantly recieving energy from the sun, evolution does not contradict the second law of thermodynamics, which is what you are reffering to. Entropy only aplies to a closed system, that is, a system that never gains or loses energy.

Exactly.

 

[LakeEarth]

Also, evolution stands in total contradiction to the first (?) law of thermodynamics

Ummm.... ooo...kayyyyyyy..... if you're thinking of 'everything leads to disorder', that's true that things eventually lead to disorder. But as long as there is energy, things can happen. And 4 billion years ago, Earth was a big ball of lighting and heat, perfect for the random construction of complex molecules.

Let's not derail the thread ok?

But this way is much more fun

 

[Bregor]

Don't make the mistake of thinking that the Second law applies to all types of order / disorder. It only refers the energy in the system and how easy it is to get that energy to do work.

 

[LakeEarth]

Don't make the mistake of thinking that the Second law applies to all types of order / disorder. It only refers the energy in the system and how easy it is to get that energy to do work.

True. Probably the saddest thing I've ever heard is in about 100 trillion years, there will be no energy left and the universe will just be a light-less area full of black holes.

 

[robochimp]

Don't make the mistake of thinking that the Second law applies to all types of order / disorder. It only refers the energy in the system and how easy it is to get that energy to do work.

Organisms create more disorder than what they are, so we can still kind of fit. And as humans we certainly do tear shit up pretty well

 

[AnIco]

The "repeatedly disproven theory of evolution?".

Didn't you know: the earth is only about 9000 years old; veritably, that aforementioned fact proves that there could have been no time for evolution to have taken place.

 

[LakeEarth]

Didn't you know: the earth is only about 9000 years old; veritably, that aforementioned fact proves that there could have been no time for evolution to have taken place.

"We have been visiting your puny planet since the dawn of the universe... 4000 years ago! By God! (mumbles prayers)"

 

[Mrbob]

http://www.christiananswers.net/spotlight/games/2004/ninjagaiden.html

Christan Rating: I give it 3 out 5. This is game is choke full of violence, but it is justified by the fact that Ryu has to retrieve the Dark Dragon Blade to prevent the world from plunging into darkness and it does seem that he remains a good person throughout the adventure, since throughout the game Ryu is running along and the enemy always attacks Ryu first. The game box does seem to say that Ryu also has the motive of revenge as well, and we all know that Vengence belongs to God, but the story is so weak that it never actually makes revenge seem a motive for Ryu.

0_o

Overall Rating 4 out of 5. This game is very fun if your a mature enough Christian and can handle the violence and Racheal. No Cursing, no nudity, no sensuality. This game did not cause me to want to harm or injure anyone in anyway, nor did it make think about women in a negative light. I just had fun with the game's very intense gameplay and ignored it's few negatives. If you can do the same, then have a ball. But please do not let anyone not mature enough such as young kids to play, judge wheather or not they can handle to blood and do whatever your consciense can bear by the leading of the Holy Spirit.

0_o X 100

4/5 though suck it down Wind Waker!

 

[Lemurnator]

Squaresoft has been known for some wonderful titles ("Mystic Quest" and "Final Fantasy VII" were some of my favorites)

Ok, these people have shit taste in videogames.

 

[BuddyC]

http://www.ccgr.org/default.asp

The beautiful graphics and exciting game play makes Ninja Gaiden a very addictive game. However, due to the paganistic beliefs, scantily clad characters, and bloody graphics, I would recommend that Christians run away from the ninja.

Game Play: A
Sound: A
Graphics: A
Appropriateness: F
Controls: A
(due to the inappropriate content in this game, I am unable to recommend it)

These folks are polled for GameRankings.com, though they're not nearly as extreme or humorous.

 

[Mr. Lemming]

Re: Ninja Gaiden Review

At the very least I have to give them props for recognizing that a game may be a brilliant game while at the same time being offensive to Christian beliefs.

 

[IJoel]

Christians arguing against the theory of evolution are just crazy.

Yes, I'm a christian, but for the sake of argumentation, you just can't say that there's not enough proof for the theory of evolution when you believe an almighty being out of poof just created the world.

 

[LakeEarth]

Christians arguing against the theory of evolution are just crazy.

Yes, I'm a christian, but for the sake of argumentation, you just can't say that there's not enough proof for the theory of evolution when you believe an almighty being out of poof just created the world.

You wouldn't beileve how many people will say "it's been disproven a million times" without any kind of proof to back up what they say. Oddly, same thing is true for people who believe dumb urban legends, and potheads.

 

[Baron Aloha]

Hehe... their Silent Hill 4 review is pretty funny...

http://www.christiananswers.net/spotlight/games/2004/silenthill4-theroom.html

The folks at Konami should be applauded for creating something so vicerally terrifying that it stays with you long after the game has been turned off. That said. This is a deeply disturbing game that will likely offend practically everyone.

Beautifully detailed (if gore-covered walls of living, rotting flesh could ever be considered beautiful)

The Sonic Heroes review made me chuckle too

Surprisingly there are a few offence elements in this game. First off one of the characters (Amy) uses the name "God" in vain after acquiring a 1up. This doesn't’t happen often, but it is there. Another problem found with this game was that Roug the Bat has a body figure of a human woman and reveals a little too much.

 

[snaildog]

Conker's Bad Fur Day:

References to drunkenness, fellatio, penis size, and breast size among others are tossed around gleefully, along with an enormous helping of "poop" and fart jokes which are infinitely juvenile and at times, very gross. At one point in the game, your character is in a level composed completely of feces, battling an enemy of feces who breaks into a crude and raunchy song which includes many scatological terms for feces and even a crass term for female genitals.

Christian Rating: 1 of 5
(very offensive)
Gameplay: 5 of 5
(excellent)
Violence: 1 of 5
(extreme)
Adult Content: 1 of 5
(extreme)

Their review just makes me want to run off and play it again!