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[Piku_Ringo]

About 20 years ago I was on a date with my now wife. I brought her home to her parents and followed her inside to say hi to her mom/dad. We were home earlier than planned and her parents were back in their bedroom. The entire house reeked of tuna.. like a very pungent nasty smell. My wife yelled “did you guys eat fish tonight?” Her dad responded “No, we ate out!.” I still give her shit about it 20 years later.

This fucking forum sometimes I swear.

 

[Elcid]

This fucking forum sometimes I swear.

What's the problem breh

 

[darkangel-212559]

Wash your penis

Bro, my penis does't go anywhere NEAR a bad vagina. I literally was about to fuck her but when she took off her underwear the whole room stank. I almost threw up. I made an excuse and told her she could sleep in my bed but I was really tired and I would take the sofa in my living room.

The worst part was I had my fingers down there and not only were they actually sticky but the stench didn't come off my fingers for a full week afterwards.

Thank goodness it wasn't my dick, that's all I'm gonna say. Shit would need to be replaced!

 

[darkangel-212559]

What's the problem breh

Probably a virgin. I JOKE. But seriously don't be so sensitive dude.

 

[bender]

Bro, my penis does't go anywhere NEAR a bad vagina.

 

[appaws]

More like how pretty her feet are. Not seen anything of them yet. She told me my floor is so cold she demanded another pair of socks for her to put over the ones she was already wearing.

My sympathy.

 

[DESTROYA]

Omfg are those maggots?!

Bot fly maggots but that doesn't make it any less disgusting.

 

[Elcid]

Bot fly maggots but that doesn't make it any less disgusting.

That is fucking disgusting for so many reasons.

 

[Stouffers]

Bot fly maggots but that doesn't make it any less disgusting.

Just a reminder to wrap it up.

 

[Cunth]

I wish I had those maggots just so I could squeeze them out

 

[Stouffers]

I wish I had those maggots just so I could squeeze them out

Then you could make an entry on r/oddlysatisfying

 

[Stiflers Mom]

And so that was enough internet for me for today, thanks Stouffers .

 

[Rentahamster]

 

[eot]

Fuck you Stouffers you ruined this thread

What the actual fuck

Spoiler

On topic, I also have a tinder date coming over tonight

 

[GymWolf]

Stouffers trying to get that sweet post\reaction ratio allright...

 

[Madevil]

As long as she's into butt stuff, then you have an amazing future together.
Godspeed.

 

[Cockles & Whelks]

Just some impressions from yesterday...

* was great talking with her from the first second on.
* she is very much my type. Very slim, a bit athletic, brown hair, brown eyes, pretty face, though she was my age.
* went to my flat together like 15 minutes later after meeting
* drank a bottle of wine together and talked a lot about all kinds of stuff
* started kissing and having a bit of fun
* I am not a tits guy, but wow, she had the most perfect pair I have ever seen or felt in my long career. I wonder now if they are real ones. Need to check out next time if there are any scars or something to be seen. Didn't feel like the silicone ones I have experienced on them hoes in Cali/Columbia, though.
* We didn't fuck, but decided we will do on the weekend when we meet again.
* She left a few hours later and went home.

Never thought this evening will be that good in before.
Life can be full of surprises...

 

[Stiflers Mom]

Fuck you Stouffers you ruined this thread

What the actual fuck

Spoiler

On topic, I also have a tinder date coming over tonight

Stouffers is that fat gross kid in your class that blows up frogs and throws the carcasses at you.

Good luck on your Tinder adventure today, eot..

 

[hariseldon]

Two of my cousins got married thanks to this (cr)app

Spoiler: Spoiler

be wise, use It Just to have sex. lol

To each other?

 

[lock2k]

To each other?

No, I should have phrased it better. lol

But the outcomes of both marriages are not good

 

[Stouffers]

Stouffers is that fat gross kid in your class that blows up frogs and throws the carcasses at you.

Good luck on your Tinder adventure today, eot..

I wasn’t that guy, but I did hang out with a kid in elementary school who’d take out his glass eye and show all the girls his socket.

I apologize for my less than acceptable gif in this thread about rancid vagina.

 

[TrainedRage]

Did better than TrainedRage

I blame the RONA. It’s not my fault.

 

[Stouffers]

I blame the RONA. It’s not my fault.

Is it officially dead?

 

[TrainedRage]

Is it officially dead?

My dick? Yes.

 

[Stiflers Mom]

I blame the RONA. It’s not my fault.

What happened?

 

[Stiflers Mom]

I wasn’t that guy, but I did hang out with a kid in elementary school who’d take out his glass eye and show all the girls his socket.

I apologize for my less than acceptable gif in this thread about rancid vagina.

Posting bot flys in anything other than a horror gif thread should be a bannable offense.

 

[GeorgPrime]

Bro, my penis does't go anywhere NEAR a bad vagina. I literally was about to fuck her but when she took off her underwear the whole room stank. I almost threw up. I made an excuse and told her she could sleep in my bed but I was really tired and I would take the sofa in my living room.

The worst part was I had my fingers down there and not only were they actually sticky but the stench didn't come off my fingers for a full week afterwards.

Thank goodness it wasn't my dick, that's all I'm gonna say. Shit would need to be replaced!

I just had to puke randomly around the room

 

[teezzy]

Oh thank God, looks like a mod removed the maggots

That's absolutely one of the most horrifying things I've seen online

 

[Musky_Cheese]

I blame the RONA. It’s not my fault.

It kept you from getting publicly friend zoned only

 

[thefool]

I should write a book about my tinder stories. What an incredible invention!

 

[bender]

I should write a book about my tinder stories. What an incredible invention!

Dear Barely Legal,

 

[Nikana]

What is this thread even about now. I am too lazy to read it. Someone tell me.

 

[DESTROYA]

What is this thread even about now. I am too lazy to read it. Someone tell me.

 

[Nikana]

This girl from Hinge has me like that tho.

 

[bender]

What is this thread even about now. I am too lazy to read it. Someone tell me.

 

[Nikana]

Im a butterscotch person.

 

[haxan7]

Just a reminder to wrap it up.

raw dawg or GTFO

 

[bender]

Im a butterscotch person.

Urine is nasty.

 

[Stouffers]

Posting bot flys in anything other than a horror gif thread should be a bannable offense.

If you want me gone, Stiflers Mom , I will request a permanent ban. I can’t go on posting on this forum when one of its most esteemed members wishes I had never been born, matured into a man, and exercised my free will to post a gif that has angered you so.

 

[Nikana]

Urine is nasty.

Urine trouble fool.

 

[Stiflers Mom]

If you want me gone, Stiflers Mom , I will request a permanent ban. I can’t go on posting on this forum when one of its most esteemed members wishes I had never been born, matured into a man, and exercised my free will to post a gif that has angered you so.

Oh, you little drama queen.

 

[darkangel-212559]

Use a condom. Plus it's really nothing like that. I only saw a tiny bit of poo ONCE. Totally worth it though.

 

[bender]

Use a condom. Plus it's really nothing like that. I only saw a tiny bit of poo ONCE. Totally worth it though.

 

[Stiflers Mom]

Use a condom. Plus it's really nothing like that. I only saw a tiny bit of poo ONCE. Totally worth it though.

I had my girlfriend shitting on my bed once I pulled out when I was 22.
After that she locked herself into the bathroom and started crying. What a day.

And at least three times of my dick completely full of poo. That only happened though when me and the girl were both drunk, interestingly enough.

It's still worth it though for the other times when it goes well..

: D

 

[Valued Gamer]

How am I meant to jerk off over a rubbish thread like this. Think of others OP.

 

[darkangel-212559]

I had my girlfriend shitting on my bed once I pulled out when I was 22.
After that she locked herself into the bathroom and started crying. What a day.

And at least three times of my dick completely full of poo. That only happened though when me and the girl were both drunk, interestingly enough.

It's still worth it though for the other times when it goes well..

: D

USE A CONDOM.

I've only ever seen a smidge of poo but maybe I just get lucky.

 

[darkangel-212559]

Hardly.

 

[bender]

Hardly.

 

[Potato Chip PRO]

Did you tell her you have a Gaf account? 50/50 chance of her getting wetting or leaving you.

 

[Stouffers]

I had my girlfriend shitting on my bed once I pulled out when I was 22.
After that she locked herself into the bathroom and started crying. What a day.

And at least three times of my dick completely full of poo. That only happened though when me and the girl were both drunk, interestingly enough.

It's still worth it though for the other times when it goes well..

: D

Have you tried the vagina?