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[ClosingADoor]

Damn at some posts in here calling out the OP or the girl like they are bad people. Just because you have different ideas about sex doesn't make either a bad person. Everybody is different. Just explain the problem to her and if you can't work it out, break up. Give it some time, but if you can't get over it, that's the way it is. Nobody is to blame for that.

 

[Frodo]

I cannot blame you for reacting that way.. I feel like i would have reacted the same way as yours.. DP with 2 guys? Darn thats straight up ho status toss to bushes to most guys.

Seriously?

 

[LittleBoots]

Making a judgement of on persons standards based on your own, good job.


I'm sure that makes you a hypocrite.

He's the one judging her for something she did before he met her. I'm saying that shouldn't be something that matters.

 

[Incitemaybe]

Sounds like you have a few lifetimes of sexual experience to try out OP, You're going to have fun!

 

[Matticers]

She not only wanted to talk to you about it with the way she was hoping you would ask her, but she went into specifics about what she did like she was fondly remembering it.

Yeah, she definitely wants to do some more threesomes. She was probably hoping you would be into the idea of it. Instead, the relationship is probably over.

 

[Keri]

She clearly wants to be with someone who could accept this of her if she instigated the conversation while watching the show. That's not something you just bring out because hey what a silly little conversation.

She might have brought it up, in a misguided attempt to prove that she's "not a prude." A lot of girls feel pressured to prove that they're totally sexy and adventurous, in order to keep the interest of men. I mean, back when I was in college (which wasn't that long ago), I remember "prude" being used as a huge insult against women (usually by boyfriends who were trying to talk their girlfriends into doing something).

Anyway, this is why the OP should ask her if she wants more threesomes in the future, instead of assuming.

 

[kavanf1]

People here will try to convince you to this is okay somehow, or great or even hot. Or that its none of your business. Or that you should get over it.

None of that matters. Because it bothers you. They arent dating her, you are.

If you cant accept it, and no amount of arguments here or anywhere else wont make you, then you know what to do.

Thank you for being a voice of common sense in this thread. I hope OP pays attention to this advice, and ignores the moronic pseudointellectual bullshit trying to make him feel bad for feeling uncomfortable about something sexual.

 

[Your Entertainer]

There's a lot of that going on in this thread.

Yeah, tell me about it. OP should have known exactly what type of response would have predominated before asking the question here though.

 

[Vicetrailia]

Wow. DP even. Why would she think you would want to know that?

Because she's adventerous. Probably has a high sex drive and wonders how much her partner is like her.

 

[bengraven]

The fact that she went straight into detail makes me think she was testing you.

How "cool" is this guy with something like this? Will he find it shocking? Is this off the table in this relationship? Will I want that? I kind of liked the four balls slapping me at the same time concept. Will he freak out if I ever tell him about the time I was in Mexico doing coke off the penis of a drug lord while a bunch of decapitated heads stared down at me?

Maybe I should break it off...

 

[Strangelove77]

Individual standards are what make us who we are, if he doesn't want a relationship with someone who has sex with multiple partners at the same time, then that is his right.

No one here has any right to shame him, all he has to do is break up with her and they can go one their separate lives.

This whole thing seems like it's shame vs. shame.
If it is, then he's wrong.

But I'm trying to not assume that and think positively. As positively as you can with this sort of things anyways. People's past is they're past. Like someone else said, it's not like she murdered someone.

 

[ApharmdX]

Sexual double standards are really sad. I'm sure if the roles were reversed, she wouldn't have an issue with you having one with two women. If she was being safe about it and isn't otherwise promiscuous, it really shouldn't matter that she had one crazy night once. Women are human and enjoy sex.

You can't be sure of this. And you know what, if she wasn't fine with it, that's her right. This isn't an argument about double standards. When one partner shares something from their sexual history, the other partner is allowed to decide whether that's something they are comfortable with. That's the risk you take when you go down the full disclosure path.

 

[ZeroMaverick]

I still don't understand.

If all of your life, the only meats you eat are beef, pork, and chicken, and one day someone offers you turkey, you're obliged to eat the turkey?

You know you don't like turkey. You're perfectly fine with someone else loving turkey, but you know you don't like turkey. You're still obliged (because in this scenario that's the progressive thing to do) to eat that turkey?

 

[Big Baybee]

I wouldn't want to know that someone I was with was dp'd. My wife is the opposite, she asks about my previous sexual experiences all the time.

 

[Pork]

Planning to break up with her over something minute like this doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you insecure, and well, maybe a little bit petty.

lol that's pretty much still calling him a bad person, dude.

 

[Circle Jerk]

What's with all the weird fallacies in here? Like the people saying you only want a virgin or aren't okay kissing her because she did oral before. Then you have the people that are just outright going out of their way to be offended by posts they're misreading. Weird thread.

 

[Horsemama1956]

Making a judgement of on persons standards based on your own, good job.


I'm sure that makes you a hypocrite.

Not any worse than people jumping to conclusions on to what type of person she is because she had a threesome or two. The OP is in for a shock in life if he can't get over this kind of shit, like now.

 

[Brazil]

Work on that insecurity OP.

 

[UnObtainium17]

Seriously?

Well, that was uncalled for and probably unnecessary to be said but i was being honest. Lots of guys will feel tha way OP felt.

 

[KurtSloane]

Eh…

Hey look, its a perfect person who is fit to look down and judge people.

The amount of self righteous and sanctimonious people on this forum is insane.

And they talk about the religious and political right making judgements of people.

 

[LittleBoots]

Can anyone give an explanation as to why they are perturbed by a multiple partner experience but not an individual having multiple single-partner experiences? I mean, what's the difference to them if a person is having sex with two people a once opposed to having sex with with 2 different people but only one at a time. Is it because there's some idea that threesomes are a fling with uncommitted partners? Or is it just the idea of two dongers in a man or woman bugs some.

This is something I'm genuinely wondering about too.

lol that's pretty much still calling him a bad person, dude.

No. He's just insecure. That's not the same as being a bad person.

 

[Alienous]

Because she's adventerous. Probably has a high sex drive and wonders how much her partner is like her.

It seems obvious.

She took a gamble on telling you OP. She might like you more than DP. You should probably just tell her that the idea makes you uncomfortable.

Or you could make her dreams come true.

 

[Admiral Woofington]

He's the one judging her for something she did before he met her. I'm saying that shouldn't be something that matters.

You keep saying he's judging her. OP is insecure and bothered about it. This isn't about her as much as it is about him. He feels insecure about it. Don't try to paint him the bad guy for having a sexual issue many have. A guy just posted a story last page that someone broke up with him for the same deal. Some people have sexual hang ups, knowing too many details of a partners previous sex life could be one.

 

[akira28]

just because she likes sex and enjoys the roughness and wildness that can come from some sexual situations, that doesn't mean that she can't be happy and fulfilled by the sexual connection that she has with you.

of course, the fact that she brought it up means she's thinking about it and was curious how you would react.

This is one of those funny human things.

she's completely new at this "clueing my boyfriend in on things" though. she really could have softened that blow.

It seems obvious.

She took a gamble on telling you OP. She might like you more than DP. You should probably just tell her that the idea makes you uncomfortable.

Or you could make her dreams come true.

no woman looks at her man and thinks "you know, what would be really perfect for us? another dick in the bedroom." not if everything is working right.

 

[Vermillion]

The only reasonable response.

Fuck anyone for giving OPs gf a bad time for her sexual past, and fuck anyone trying to make OP feel bad for not being able to handle it.

Okay, now my opinion: this^

It sounds like half the people here wandered into the wrong topic, lol. "Women can enjoy sex, too!" Duh, no one disagrees. Not really relevant to the topic.

 

[weshes195]

Well, that was uncalled for and probably unnecessary to be said but i was being honest. Lots of guys will feel tha way OP felt.

A lot of people believe that women having sex means they are whores.

Doesn't mean those people are right.

 

[Redd]

I immediately thought of this.

 

[Mr.Pig]

Break up with her. She deserves a better boyfriend.

 

[Darksol]

I still don't understand.

If all of your life, the only meats you eat are beef, pork, and chicken, and one day someone offers you turkey, you're obliged to eat the turkey?

You know you don't like turkey. You're perfectly fine with someone else loving turkey, but you know you don't like turkey. You're still obliged (because in this scenario that's the progressive thing to do) to eat that turkey?

In your analogy, person A breaks up with person B because person B ate turkey a few times before person A met them. Seems pretty dumb whether talking about sexual history, or turkey.

 

[Nappuccino]

What's with all the weird fallacies in here? Like the people saying you only want a virgin or aren't okay kissing her because she did oral before. Then you have the people that are just outright going out of their way to be offended by posts they're misreading. Weird thread.

Honestly, this is only a problem if she wants to have a threesome and he's not comfortable with the idea. He shouldn't be forced into a threesome to keep the relationship together.

That said, judging her because she had one in the past doesn't exactly bode well for him going forward. He can not want to have a threesome and also not judge her.

 

[Alienous]

Can anyone give an explanation as to why they are perturbed by a multiple partner experience but not an individual having multiple single-partner experiences? I mean, what's the difference to them if a person is having sex with two people a once opposed to having sex with with 2 different people but only one at a time. Is it because there's some idea that threesomes are a fling with uncommitted partners? Or is it just the idea of two dongers in a man or woman upsets some.

You can't live up to that as one dude. Well, maybe if you're a contortionist. But there is the implication that some of her sexual desires can only be satiated by two guys, and OP isn't two guys.

 

[KurtSloane]

He's the one judging her for something she did before he met her. I'm saying that shouldn't be something that matters.

To you, it matters to him, like it would others.

Being bothered by it doesn't sound like a conscious decision.


Also feeling that way is not shaming her, calling her names and making her feel bad would be.


He can just break it off, go on his way and not shame her for this, if they aren't compatible then its not meant to be.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Nvm I misread.

 

[RockTurtle]

Insecure men shocked by their girlfriends past sexual history are pathetic. One of the many reasons why we need sex positive feminism.

you know different people have different standards right?

and one shouldn't be forced to accept things they find uncomfortable in their own beds just to satisfy some existential standard.

OP didn't shame her. He just found the situation uncomfortable. and it's his right to get out of a relationship where he feels uncomfortable. and his GF should be with someone that accepts all aspects of her. it's only fair to her.

OP should speak to her and explain that he feels uncomfortable and his GF might reassure him or verify her own feelings to see if they both can get over it and continue or make a conscious decision to amicable go their own ways.

just because he is a man. his insecurities aren't any less than hers. a relationship is a 2 way street.

 

[Your Entertainer]

Break up with her. She deserves a better boyfriend.

She shouldn't be shamed for doing things in the past, but he shouldn't be shamed for not being unabashedly for having threesomes. Responses like this are ridiculous.

 

[Kinitari]

The concern here is that you are potentially throwing away this, or future relationships for your partners sexual past - I don't think that's a good way to go about being in relationships, as after a certain age we've all basically have had sexual histories. The odds, as time goes on, of you dating girls who have had threesomes or whatnot is probably going to go up.

What you need to do is talk about it candidly, I think. Ask her what that means to your relationship - if it means nothing, then it means nothing. If she tells you it's something she wants more of, then it's something I think is a serious consideration regarding keeping your relationship going - you feeling the way you feel about it.

In the end, be with her or don't be with her - it's entirely up to you, but I don't think it behooves you and your future relationship opportunities (if this doesn't pan out) to feel so strongly about things that happened in the past.

 

[cabot]

Thank you for being a voice of common sense in this thread. I hope OP pays attention to this advice, and ignores the moronic pseudointellectual bullshit trying to make him feel bad for feeling uncomfortable about something sexual.

Agreed,

I would be in the 'I'd be turned on by this' camp, but people are entitled to their own views and if OP has a problem with it, then yeah. It's probably not good for the relationship considering the way it has warped his view of her now.

I would say try and be a little open minded in future though regarding letting histories change your view on someone.

 

[andthebeatgoeson]

Maybe a nun would be better for the op? Can they have sexy time?

 

[hodgy100]

I'd high 5 her and say "congrats on the sex!" then mention how you'd like to try with 2 girls ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

[darkazcura]

The fact that you want to "get even" makes me think your just jealous she experienced something you didnt. I mean, if you would be cool with it once you got even then it must not just be you being uncomfortable with her previous promiscuity.

I do not see where the OP is saying he personally wants to get even. He is actually saying he does not want to get even, and it wouldn't make him feel better.

 

[ZeroMaverick]

In your analogy, person A breaks up with person B because person B ate turkey a few times before person A met them.

Right, and as ridiculous as it may sound--given the analogy--person A has that right.

I honestly don't think it matters why he has a problem with it. If it's insecurity or awful past experience or whatever, it doesn't matter. You're not obliged to stay with someone if their past bothers you. As long as he's not shaming her for it. As long as he doesn't call her a whore or whatever, then it doesn't matter.

 

[Pork]

No. He's just insecure. That's not the same as being a bad person.

Look, you're not a bad person or anything, but you are judgmental, inconsiderate, and [insert any number of other negative character attributes].

 

[DiipuSurotu]

then after sometime she asked me, "aren't you going to ask me?" and then I just knew she probably did, but I asked anyways. And she indeed did, and she worded "she did it few times". With 2 guys. She told me some specifics that I wish I didn't hear it. Such as "DP" and "Rough".

Anyways, so after this conversation, her image have completely changed in my mind. I feel like I don't know her at all.

Seems like SHE doesn't know you at all.

 

[KurtSloane]

Not any worse than people jumping to conclusions on to what type of person she is because she had a threesome or two. The OP is in for a shock in life if he can't get over this kind of shit, like now.

Because all women have threesome's, so if he can't get past this then there is no hope going forward?

Wise up.


He can meet other people with the same, compatible standards as him.

 

[LittleBoots]

You keep saying he's judging her. OP is insecure and bothered about it. This isn't about her as much as it is about him. He feels insecure about it. Don't try to paint him the bad guy for having a sexual issue many have. A guy just posted a story last page that someone broke up with him for the same deal. Some people have sexual hang ups, knowing too many details of a partners previous sex life could be one.

He said he couldn't look at her the same way. Inadvertent as it may be, it still sounds like judgment. I never said OP's a bad person. I said he was insecure, as everyone else is saying.

 

[Plywood]

Omg, no

 

[LookAtMeGo]

I do not see where the OP is saying he personally wants to get even. He is actually saying he does not want to get even, and it wouldn't make him feel better.

My mistake. I missed the NOT in that sentence.

 

[puebla]

There's no actual difference other than "train" being the word you use when you want to shame the girl for having a threesome.

Eh, it is what it is. We all have different standards and I'm not saying yours are low or mines are high. It's like if my girl told me she liked being fisted, I'd probably look at her different too. To each his own.

 

[Mohasus]

Just remember that everytime you're having sex these doubts will be in your mind. Is she enjoying it? Can she still enjoy just a single dick? Is she bored of her mind right now faking it while thinking that she wants a cock is her ass (or pussy if you're having anal)?

There is not a whole lot you can do about that. Good luck!

 

[NoblesseOblige]

You can't live up to that as one dude. Well, maybe if you're a contortionist. But there is the implication that some of her sexual desires can only be satiated by two guys, and OP isn't two guys.

Why the feeling that there's something to live up to? As someone with hundreds of kinks (including threesomes/foursomes/moresomes) I have never once thought of measuring them on some arbitrary sex-enjoyment scale. I am perfectly willing to sacrifice any of them, and if a partner isn't cool with threesomes then so be it. There is just so many other great things people can do when it comes to sexual activity, that getting hung up on one is crazy to me. Threesomes are like... super blase in my opinion. Maybe it'd be different if I were vanilla as hell.