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[99hertz]

The best thing about being socially non-existent is that you barely need money. Seems like you're having a tough time handling things so I think if you used whatever money you are spending going out to get therapy it would do you some good. I've been been in therapy for ~2 months and it's changed my life already.

 

[Jake.]

What nationality/race are you OP?

I'm just trying to understand your cultural background.

completely irrelevant, he's 25. grow a pair already.

 

[DarkFlow]

Again:

"The guy obviously already knows he fucked up, he spend many, many sentences telling you how lowly he thinks of himself because of this incident. The problem obviously isn't that he doesn't get it. Why is there any need to keep telling him what an asshole he is for what he did, when he already thinks worse of himself than any of you combined? What does that accomplish, except of you making yourself feel superior?"

It's one thing if he would be sitting here talking about how fun that drunken drive was. But he's not doing that. The ONLY thing these comments are here for is to make their authors feel morally superior. There is no value in them whatsoever.

You know why he "spent many, many sentences" on how lowly he feels? So you would think this exact thought, and feel sorry for him. He's 25, a grown ass man and he thought endangering lives was a better idea then calling a taxi because he apparently can't use Google on his phone or call 211.

 

[SilentRob]

You know why he "spent many, many sentences" on how lowly he feels? So you would think this exact thought, and feel sorry for him. He's 25, a grown ass man and he thought endangering lives was a better idea then calling a taxi because he apparently can't use Google on his phone or call 211.

Im sorry, but you don't seem to know how social anxiety works or lack the willingness to try to understand it.

 

[ZackieChan]

Again:

"The guy obviously already knows he fucked up, he spend many, many sentences telling you how lowly he thinks of himself because of this incident. The problem obviously isn't that he doesn't get it. Why is there any need to keep telling him what an asshole he is for what he did, when he already thinks worse of himself than any of you combined? What does that accomplish, except of you making yourself feel superior?"

It's one thing if he would be sitting here talking about how fun that drunken drive was. But he's not doing that. The ONLY thing these comments are here for is to make their authors feel morally superior. There is no value in them whatsoever.

The fact that he was so flippant about not knowing how to call a cab at 25 is disturbing and begs for anger. "I have no fucking clue how to do that" is the excuse for potentially killing someone and committing a felony? Gimme a break.

 

[Future PhaZe]

My friend has two duis and recently got a promotion and moved to a new state for the position

So you can overcome it OP

I always just lay in my car in the back seat without keys in the ignition until I sober up. Browse gaf, watch netflix, etc.

 

[DarkFlow]

Im sorry, but you don't seem to know how social anxiety works or lack the willingness to try to understand it.

You got all that from my post huh?

 

[ClayKavalier]

Again:

"The guy obviously already knows he fucked up, he spend many, many sentences telling you how lowly he thinks of himself because of this incident. The problem obviously isn't that he doesn't get it. Why is there any need to keep telling him what an asshole he is for what he did, when he already thinks worse of himself than any of you combined? What does that accomplish, except of you making yourself feel superior?"

It's one thing if he would be sitting here talking about how fun that drunken drive was. But he's not doing that. The ONLY thing these comments are here for is to make their authors feel morally superior. There is no value in them whatsoever.

I disagree. Sympathy for someone down is fine, but so is letting them know they fucked up. I get the OP said he feels bad about it, but having the whole thread be "Well that sucks that happened to you" seems gross to me when he endangered others lives for stupid reasons.

Also the OP seems more sorry for himself than regretful that he potentially endangered other people. Pointing that out can give him a different perspective on what the consequences of his actions may have been beyond getting him in trouble with his parents or making his "friends" think less of him.

And I'm not claiming that I or anyone else conscientiously set out to do this, but vocally opposing something in a group setting contributes to a community's values. Making it clear that some actions are reprehensible enough to be beyond a simple explanation serves that purpose.

Im sorry, but you don't seem to know how social anxiety works or lack the willingness to try to understand it.

Tell us more about how exactly the OP's anxiety "works" and affects him.

 

[Kysen]

You lost any kind of sympathy from me the moment you got back behind the wheel while drunk. You are 25 and should know better. You could have just slept in the car.

Get it together OP, you aren't a kid.

 

[Air Zombie Meat]

The thing is calling a taxi doesn't require any social skills at all. No more than ordering drinks at a bar which it seems the op managed fine.

 

[dofry]

- don't ever drive drunk
- don't have a designated driver that "drinks only a bit". You drink, you do not drive
- use a taxi
- parents will understand even if mad a bit
- you deserve a one year suspension
- 25 is young. Plenty of time to work things out
- you will find a better job
- no one thinks drinking alone in a bar is stupid. Make new friends there.
- your friend actee badly because she was supposed to drive
- regardless, don't drive drunk. Ever. Its a shitty thing to do.
- be better by challenging yourself. Today

By the way saying "first ever DUI" sounds like you might do it again. Just sounds bad even if you don't mean it

 

[ClayKavalier]

The thing is calling a taxi doesn't require any social skills at all. No more than ordering drinks at a bar which it seems the op managed fine.

Really. It's annoying seeing people like SilentRob make it seem like social anxiety makes this completely understandable.

 

[zorlaczerohero]

I really feel for you mate. My wife got a DUI a few years ago, basically we were all staying at a friends and two of them kicked off trying to kick the fuck out of each other. My wife had been in bed for 4 hours at this point and because she was the soberest person there she felt ok to drive, basically putting one lot in the car and driving them away to save someones front teeth. Got pulled and because of Australia's stupid fucking limits, she got done for low level dui, got a 2 year good behavior order. Wasn't banned but caused all sorts of shit with insurance and her job and stuff. Back in the UK the level she was at wouldn't even have been a problem. Still she blames no one but herself and now won't drink anything if driving. I'm pretty much the same. Taxi's are cheap when compared to losing a license.

 

[RulkezX]

Im sorry, but you don't seem to know how social anxiety works or lack the willingness to try to understand it.

So tell me, what do you think the OP wanted out the thread?

If he knows he fucked up them he's just posted an OP full of excuses about why it sucks he got so drunk he forgot where he lived and just ended up driving in circles while smashed.

 

[SeanR1221]

You know why he "spent many, many sentences" on how lowly he feels? So you would think this exact thought, and feel sorry for him. He's 25, a grown ass man and he thought endangering lives was a better idea then calling a taxi because he apparently can't use Google on his phone or call 211.

Actually he thought it was a better idea so his parents didn't get angry at him 🙆🙈🙆🙈🙆

I just can't wrap my head around this story.

 

[SilentRob]

You got all that from my post huh?

I don't know you so that comment was out of place, I apologize.

Reading stories like this I simply try to put myself in the other person's shoes. This is what i got:

- He was disturbed and anxious, because his constant fear of being abondened by his friends seemingly came true
- He was incredibly drunk, having consumed "a lot" for an hour and various shots after she came back
- He has never called himself a taxi. Not a big deal normally. But add to that situation his mental state and his drunkenness and it's a lot more understandable to me. I once forgot how to flush a toilet when I was drunk. The normally simple act of googling a taxi hotline, calling it and waiting for it is a big task at that point, adding to the simple fact it would involve another social interaction (taxi driver, hotline) which seems to be along OPs worst fears and biggest problems.

When I put myself in that situation, I'd like to think I would have acted different, but I can absolutley see how this situation unfolded and why it happened the way it did. That's what I'm trying to say.

And, again: Many of the comments in this thread don't accomplish anything at all. It is simply the internet-mob-mentality coming through, because obvisouly there is someone who did something wrong and as a group, you get the chance to feel morally superiour and shit on him for opening up about it. If he simply wanted us to tell him how sorry we are he could've just lied about it. He could have said he had no mobile phone, or was stranded in the middle of nowhere, anything really. Instead, he told the story seemingly as it happened. If he was fishing sympathy there would have been a LOT of easier ways to do it.

I find it pretty distressing the admittance of suicide attemps and anxiety is immediatly considered fishing for sympathy in this thread.

So tell me, what do you think the OP wanted out the thread?

If he knows he fucked up them he's just posted an OP full of excuses about why it sucks he got so drunk he forgot where he lived and just ended up driving in circles while smashed.

Because he wanted to talk with people about what he did. It's a coping mechanism we all have. If something bad happens to us or if we do something we know was wrong we go to people we trust and feel close to to talk with them about it. OP doesn't seem to feel like he has a person like that in his life, so he chose this forum to do it.

 

[SeanR1221]

I don't know you so that comment was out of place, I apologize.

Reading stories like this I simply try to put myself in the other person's shoes. This is what i got:

- He was disturbed and anxious, because his constant fear of being abondened by his friends seemingly came true
- He was incredibly drunk, having consumed "a lot" for an hour and various shots after she came back
- He has never called himself a taxi. Not a big deal normally. But add to that situation his mental state and his drunkenness and it's a lot more understandable to me. I once forgot how to flush a toilet when I was drunk. The normally simple act of googling a taxi hotline, calling it and waiting for it is a big task at that point, adding to the simple fact it would involve another social interaction (taxi driver, hotline) which seems to be along OPs worst fears and biggest problems.

When I put myself in that situation, I'd like to think I would have acted different, but I can absolutley see how this situation unfolded and why it happened the way it did. That's what I'm trying to say.

And, again: Many of the comments in this thread don't accomplish anything at all. It is simply the internet-mob-mentality coming through, because obvisouly there is someone who did something wrong and as a group, you get the chance to feel morally superiour and shit on him for opening up about it. If he simply wanted us to tell him how sorry we are he could've just lied about it. He could have said he had no mobile phone, or was stranded in the middle of nowhere, anything really. Instead, he told the story seemingly as it happened. If he was fishing sympathy there would have been a LOT of easier ways to do it.

I find it pretty distressing the admittance of suicide attemps and anxiety is immediatly considered fishing for sympathy in this thread.




Because he wanted to talk with people about what he did. It's a coping mechanism we all have. If something bad happens to us or if we do something we know was wrong we go to people we trust and feel close to to talk with them about it. OP doesn't seem to feel like he has a person like that in his life, so he chose this forum to do it.

Drunk driving defense force

 

[Vicetrailia]

OP never trust your peers or your Co Workers and tell them things like this. They sooner kick you while you are down or destroy you than show compassion. You will get through this fine if you get a lawyer and prepare to pay.

 

[ZanDatsu]

You should think about living in the wilderness for at least a year or two, get connected with your inner animal and become whole with the earth as we humans were always meant to be. It seems the shackles of modernity have you in a vice-like grip, to the point it's impacting your mental attitude in an overly negative way.

There is so much to be learned, but first you must unlearn, and that will be the most difficult at first, but I promise you wilderness living will transform your life for the better. It was a mistake to come to this place for advice or guidance, your answers are not digital but terra.

 

[ClayKavalier]

OP never trust your peers or your Co Workers and tell them things like this. They sooner kick you while you are down or destroy you than show compassion. You will get through this fine if you get a lawyer and prepare to pay.

Signaling to people you work with that you're selfish, inept, and immature is just bad career-wise generally, regardless of how they respond.

 

[ramparter]

Be thankful you didn't hurt yourself or others. I want to say something to make you feel better about your situation, but I can't think of anything. Just be glad it wasn't worse.

This.

 

[DarkFlow]

Actually he thought it was a better idea so his parents didn't get angry at him 🙆🙈🙆🙈🙆

I just can't wrap my head around this story.

He wants pity, that's it. I know if I got a DUI or something fucked up like that I sure as shit wouldn't share it with Gaf.

 

[ZackieChan]

I don't know you so that comment was out of place, I apologize.

Reading stories like this I simply try to put myself in the other person's shoes. This is what i got:

- He was disturbed and anxious, because his constant fear of being abondened by his friends seemingly came true
- He was incredibly drunk, having consumed "a lot" for an hour and various shots after she came back
- He has never called himself a taxi. Not a big deal normally. But add to that situation his mental state and his drunkenness and it's a lot more understandable to me. I once forgot how to flush a toilet when I was drunk. The normally simple act of googling a taxi hotline, calling it and waiting for it is a big task at that point, adding to the simple fact it would involve another social interaction (taxi driver, hotline) which seems to be along OPs worst fears and biggest problems.

When I put myself in that situation, I'd like to think I would have acted different, but I can absolutley see how this situation unfolded and why it happened the way it did. That's what I'm trying to say.

And, again: Many of the comments in this thread don't accomplish anything at all. It is simply the internet-mob-mentality coming through, because obvisouly there is someone who did something wrong and as a group, you get the chance to feel morally superiour and shit on him for opening up about it. If he simply wanted us to tell him how sorry we are he could've just lied about it. He could have said he had no mobile phone, or was stranded in the middle of nowhere, anything really. Instead, he told the story seemingly as it happened. If he was fishing sympathy there would have been a LOT of easier ways to do it.

I find it pretty distressing the admittance of suicide attemps and anxiety is immediatly considered fishing for sympathy in this thread.




Because he wanted to talk with people about what he did. It's a coping mechanism we all have. If something bad happens to us or if we do something we know was wrong we go to people we trust and feel close to to talk with them about it. OP doesn't seem to feel like he has a person like that in his life, so he chose this forum to do it.

And your comment accomplishes what, exactly? Aiding in his rationalization of breaking the law and potentially killing someone?

 

[Pluto]

(and now that I fucked things up, I don't want to hang out with those people again because they enable me I feel), ...

Don't even start with this enabling crap, you are 25 years old, you decided to get drunk, you decided not to call a taxi, your parents or tell your friend that it's not okay if she left you at the bar. Instead you decided to drive home drunk, that's on you and no one else!

 

[Nephtis]

OP you done fucked up

I feel sorry for your personal circumstance, but I still think you deserve the shit you're getting. I hope you use this as a lesson to seek help, you desperately need it.

 

[2MF]

And your comment accomplishes what, exactly? Aiding in his rationalization of breaking the law and potentially killing someone?

I think the point some of us are trying to make is that even if you think the OP is an asshole, there are better ways to go about it than piling on with very aggressive and insulting posts, internet mob style.

 

[RubenCordeiro]

I know GAF highly disapproves of this, but last night I got my first D.U.I.

For the last two and a half years, I've basically been socially dead---I go to work, come home, etc. Nobody I know from High School or College want anything to do with me it seems, so I was always alone. In January I struck up a brief online relationship with a girl, but that ended suddenly without any response from her. Finally, though, a few weeks ago a guy from work asked me to hang out with him and his girlfriend, and I actually got over my anxiety and had a blast. Since then, I've been going out every weekend---something I really haven't done since College, and things were moving really fast for me. I always feel like I need to drink around them to be interesting and worth hanging out with, and I've been getting really wild lately. Thankfully, I've always rode with them home as they're far more responsible when it comes to alcohol and don't have a low tolerance like me...

Last night, me and the girl hung out since he was working, and went downtown. The plan was this---I drive up, but she'd drive back since she wasn't gonna drink much. I didn't plan on drinking much either, but about an hour after we got to the club she just left---went to see another friend for a few minutes at another bar (ended up an hour almost), and left me alone at a bar which is the most embarrassing thing in the world for me. I couldn't be mad though---I mean, she's not my girlfriend, but I got really upset and worried people would think I was pathetic, so I drank a lot to ease my embarrassment. She finally came back, and we did shots---and then more, at her urge, and using my money. Honestly, this is a reoccurring pattern with her, but I'm too much of a coward to call her out on it and say no, like I said I feel like I'd lose my friends if I say no or let them down. Right before the bar was gonna close, she had sobered up, while I hadn't...and then told me another friend was taking her home, so I was basically on my own. She asked if that was okay, but in a half-hearted way and she really didn't seem to care about my well-being. I panicked---I knew I couldn't drive, and didn't know what to do. My parents are very protective since I live at home with them, and in the past had two suicide attempts---I wasn't thinking straight, and didn't want to call for help from them or get taken home in a taxi because I was terrified I'd upset them and they'd freak out and wouldn't let me go out. I mean, I'm 25, they can't stop me, but you know, I still show them respect since I live under their roof. And I don't have a lot of friends, so I didn't know who else to call.

I stupidly thought I'd be able to manage getting home, but ended up getting lost---finally I made it back to a place I recognized, and just wanted to pull over and call for help, when I got pulled over by a cop. He'd seen me driving around in circles, and so I got hit with a DUI because I was intoxicated. Terrified, I went to jail and spent 13 hours there---they didn't offer me a phone, and I was terrified to ask. My family and work all thought I was dead because no one knew where I was. The other people in the jail were yelling crazy "I'm gonna rape you stuff!" and other threats at me too because I was crying and they could tell they were getting to me, luckily they moved me to a cell away from that, but then I was basically left at the edge of the hall where no guard ever walked past, so I couldn't ask if I could call my parents or when I was getting out.

And---here I am. I fucked up big time. I've made mistakes in my life---plenty of them---but this is the first major legal one. Most of the mistakes I make are me messing up friendships due to anxiety and fear of losing friends, having issues at work, etc. At this point in my life, I was already at my lowest. A dead-end job, no friends (and now that I fucked things up, I don't want to hang out with those people again because they enable me I feel), live with my parents, etc., and now add the probable 1-year suspended license which is gonna destroy any hopes I had of finally moving out or getting a better job. I'm 25, live with my parents, won't have a license, and work at a grocery store. I'm literally trash. The only positive thing I have going for me is I recently got into learning Japanese which is the one bright-spot and goal I have at the moment, but even with that I'm doubting if I have the capability to learn the language as I've hit a wall in my studies. I just don't know what to do now...I'll be almost 27 before I can drive again.

I think it is important for you to not think about the negative outcome, but more about what caused the outcome itself.

It sucks not having a license for two years, but if you keep reliving your past mistakes you will fall down in a spiral.

This episode is part of your past.

I had some deep depressions and suicide attempts. I am not ashamed of it. Anxiety and depressions are conditions like any other, you should try to manage it.

Have you considered doing some therapy? I think it would do you good.

One thing to keep in mind is that you are not helpless in this situation, there's a lot you can do, it will be hard, but try to work on yourself.

 

[SilentRob]

And your comment accomplishes what, exactly? Aiding in his rationalization of breaking the law and potentially killing someone?

I'd like to think me trying to make him help understand that he can ask his friends for favors or say "no" at times is more helpful tp help avoiding such an incident happening again.

To me the problem here wasn't him not understanding that DUI is a fucked up thing to do but that his anxiety and fear was stronger than his rationality. Telling him that he did something very dangerous and wrong won't help him avoiding a situation like that because he was already aware of it. So helping him overcome the anxiety and putting his friend's reactions into perspective, to me, is a lot more helpful in avoiding this happening again.

My younger brother once drove under influence with my car, without me knowing. When i heaerd of it, believe me: I gave him shit. A lot. I still do. Because he simply didn't realise how dangerous and stupid it was so that was the most appropiate reaction. It's not in this case imo.

I've made my point though and it's ok if you disagree. I'll leave the thread for now because I don't think I have much more to say about this

 

[ViviOggi]

This DUI was a wakeup call about your lack of self-esteem and a cry for help about your mental health in relation to those suicide attempts. Go for therapy about both the drinking, self-esteem, friend making, and depression/suicidal ideation. A hit to your license should be the least of your worries compared to your mental health.

Yes this

Get better OP

 

[fluffydelusions]

Be thankful you didn't hurt yourself or others. I want to say something to make you feel better about your situation, but I can't think of anything. Just be glad it wasn't worse.

So much this.

 

[0ptimusPayne]

I paid double the fair amount for an Uber to come pick my friend and I up around 4am last "night"..It was worth every penny because we got home safe, and we sure as hell didn't risk getting an innocent person killed. OP never drink and drive under any circumstances , and before you even leave the fucking house have a game plan to get yourself home safe. Seems like you're going through alot, and mental illness is a serious thing that nobody respects. You're a grown man though, and there is absolutely no excuse for what you did. If you can order a drink, you sure as hell can ask one of the cute bartenders to get you the number for a damn cab. Take this L, and don't look for any pity. You have a long road ahead of you, but it seems that you're blessed with decent parents who let you stay with them. I wish you all the best honestly, and I hope you really get to the point were you can love yourself.

 

[Trigger_happy]

A guy going to prison for his third DUI got a lot of sympathy there, this thread doesn't surprise me. There really is a defense force for everything.

 

[Stet]

You did shots and then drove. There's no moral grey area here.

 

[Count of Monte Sawed-Off]

First DUI you'll be alright. It's going to cost you money though. A lot. And if you're worried about no driving you may be able to get an ignition interlock device. Talk about this with your lawyer if you get one. Of course that's just going to cost more money.

But you'll be fine in time. Just don't do it again, it only gets worse.

 

[Hex]

You sound like you have some real issues that will effect you your whole life if they do not get addressed.
You also made excuses for everything.
Learn from this, and grow a god damned backbone.
Your whole story was a total treatise on being someone who will get walked over for the rest of their life and like it.

 

[Bluekaveli]

Op you went full r-word, don't ever go full r-word.

 

[thehypocrite]

Find a hobby. Lift weight and get swole. Good luck with the rest of your life.

This, plus get a bicycle. Driving & Cars are overrated. Sell yours and put that money towards an investing account.

 

[Red]

I like the idea that drinking makes someone more interesting.

"This guy, he can't stand up. He tries to walk but ends up doubled over by that pillar over there. He's saying everything too loudly. He puked a minute ago and looks like he will again. I think he pissed himself. I'm intrigued. I want to spend more time with this guy."

 

[njean777]

You are not a POS, you made a mistake and now you need to fix it. First I think though you need to see a therapist and try to figure out what you really want in life. I am 26 and have started to learn networking (on my own and with help from a friend) so I can try to get a better job and start an IT career. You are not to old to learn a new skill and do something that you enjoy.

 

[May16]

A dead-end job, no friends (and now that I fucked things up, I don't want to hang out with those people again because they enable me I feel), live with my parents, etc., and now add the probable 1-year suspended license which is gonna destroy any hopes I had of finally moving out or getting a better job.

You said you got pulled over because the cop saw you driving in circles...but did you do anything illegal?

It's your first offense with DUI, but how's your driving record overall?

If your driving record is clean and this is your first time (and by the way, let's make sure it's your last, cause DUI is fucking serious), a good lawyer might be able to get you out of the suspended license part. Might be a thing where you just pay a fine? It depends on where you live and a lot of other circumstances, of course.

Jail sounds terrifying though.

 

[blackjaw]

Drunk driving defense force

Truly a defense force for everything these days

 

[ZackieChan]

You said you got pulled over because the cop saw you driving in circles...but did you do anything illegal?

Driving drunk, for starters.

They can pull you over if they have a reasonable suspicion that you're doing something wrong.

 

[SummitAve]

Spin that shit into a positive. Try to use this as a breakthrough moment where you change your life for the better. Morherfuckers be out there driving around living life with half a dozen DUIs. This is not the end of the world, just another obstacle you need to get past.

 

[mugoldeneagle03]

I was in your shoes once friend, and the worst part was I actually got fucked over in mine.

My best advice is to just power through it, pay your fines, go to all of the classes, deal with the temp license and just use it as a life lesson. A very expensive life lesson.

Oh and don't do it again. Depending where you live a 2nd DUI can result in guaranteed jail time.

Good luck buddy

 

[Escape Goat]

Its always the drunk driver that survives car wrecks and the innocent person who pays for their mistake. Thankfully OP didnt die and he doesnt have another persons death on his conscience. Things could be so much worse.

 

[Brannon]

In an earlier post he was asked why he didn't call a cab and he answered "I have no fucking clue how to do that" which is just unbelievable to me

In an earlier post he was asked why he didn't call a cab

call a cab

...

...

...I wonder...

*brings up smartphone*

Okay Google

~blip bleep~

Call a cab

~here are a list of cabs in your area~

!

 

[The Lamp]

Should have taken your licence away for three years and jailed your ass.

People who drive drunk are scum and deserve no sympathy after they are caught. You made the choice to drive knowing the potential for you to kill someone is much higher than when you're not drunk.

Actually he made the choice when he was very drunk so his judgment ability wasn't that great and the people who were was supposed to help him that night neglected him. Just saying.

Still should have called his parents.

 

[Red]

I was in your shoes once friend, and the worst part was I actually got fucked over in mine.

My best advice is to just power through it, pay your fines, go to all of the classes, deal with the temp license and just use it as a life lesson. A very expensive life lesson.

Oh and don't do it again. Depending where you live a 2nd DUI can result in guaranteed jail time.

Good luck buddy

The worst part of your DUI was it had consequences for you? Cute.

 

[cyberheater]

Actually he made the choice when he was very drunk so his judgment ability wasn't that great and the people who were was supposed to help him that night neglected him. Just saying.

Just saying.... you're talking total bollocks. I've been drunk many many times and you know you've had too much to drink. Every single time.

 

[SeanR1221]

The worst part of your DUI was it had consequences for you? Cute.

I like how he says don't do it again because if you get caught it's guaranteed jail time. Not the fact that you could easily kill yourself and others.