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I just got my first ever D.U.I...first time in jail, ever. :(

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B

bosseye

Member
A litany of dumb decisions OP, the trick now is to own them; take responsibility for your actions, no excuses. You made each and every decision and these are the consequences. Be aware of what you've done, hold on to how this all feels and it will be a reminder should a situation even vaguely like this happen again.

But! It could have been worse, luckily it wasn't so just try and put it all into perspective. In the big scheme of things, its no harm done. It's something millions of people end up doing and whilst it will impact on your life for a while, its not going to end it. My brother in law got done for drink driving 3 times in 10 years and ended up with a big fine and a very lengthy ban. He was incredibly lucky to avoid jail.

Think of this as wake up call and great place to draw a line under the old you and start afresh OP, you're probably feeling about as low as you've ever felt, chances are it can only get better.

Good luck.
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
What is the legal limit in the states vs canada. How much would put you over? 2 pints?

Personally speaking if I know I'm driving I just try to avoid drinking. There is no excuse to get dickered then get in a car. Like its well known how dangerous drinking and driving is, why do people not think about this "before" they go out. And yeah I understand that cabs and rides and shit are inconvenient but an innocent bystander in a body bag is fucking irreplacable.
 
N

NerdEyeBlind

Member
Good luck, OP.

In Wisconsin I constantly hear about people having four, five, or even SIX DUIs. How are these people allowed to drive cars? Forget that, how are they not in prison?!
 
R

Red

Member
TheChewyWaffles said:
I am not sure what the point of dogpiling the OP is. He's clearly contrite, unless I missed a later post.
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Contrition does not become absolution just because it is sincere. Most of the criticism here has been tempered with advice. He made a foolish and totally preventable mistake. He had multiple opportunities to not be in a position where driving home drunk was even an option. He chose the worst option at every pass. That doesn't invalidate what good he's done or what good he has left to offer the world, but it's a fuck up that deserves criticism. Social anxiety only works as an excuse to a point. When it is so bad that you become a danger to others something must be done. It's no longer simply an inconvenience for you. It has grown into a potentially fatal social issue.

He's got to put his introspection to use and do better in the future. Saying sorry is not enough. Feeling self pity is not enough. He's got to take whatever he's learned and make it actionable.
 
A

aerts1js

Member
Yeah, it sucks OP.. everyone makes mistakes. Just be glad you didn't kill someone, then you'd be in a REAL bad situation.
 
S

SneakyStephan

Banned
I see a lot of rationalisations for why you were driving drunk OP

If you have to drive, don't drink. It really is that simple.
And if you are drunk. Call a cab, again it is that simple.

If you can't adhere to these rules then you aren't fit to own a car or operate a vehicle.
If you can't think ahead a few hours in time and get caught up in these situations then again you aren't fit to own or drive a car.

Be grateful that you didn't run over a child or hurt another driver in an accident.
Things could have been a lot worse than a wittle booboo of getting your license taken away for a year. The fact that you complain about losing your license makes me think you aren't getting it.
You got lucky, not the other way around.

I hope you will reflect on what you did and think about it every time you decide to go out and before you drink.
 
openrob

openrob

Member
Watch Da Birdie said:
I know GAF highly disapproves of this, but last night I got my first D.U.I.

For the last two and a half years, I've basically been socially dead---I go to work, come home, etc. Nobody I know from High School or College want anything to do with me it seems, so I was always alone. In January I struck up a brief online relationship with a girl, but that ended suddenly without any response from her. Finally, though, a few weeks ago a guy from work asked me to hang out with him and his girlfriend, and I actually got over my anxiety and had a blast. Since then, I've been going out every weekend---something I really haven't done since College, and things were moving really fast for me. I always feel like I need to drink around them to be interesting and worth hanging out with, and I've been getting really wild lately. Thankfully, I've always rode with them home as they're far more responsible when it comes to alcohol and don't have a low tolerance like me...

Last night, me and the girl hung out since he was working, and went downtown. The plan was this---I drive up, but she'd drive back since she wasn't gonna drink much. I didn't plan on drinking much either, but about an hour after we got to the club she just left---went to see another friend for a few minutes at another bar (ended up an hour almost), and left me alone at a bar which is the most embarrassing thing in the world for me. I couldn't be mad though---I mean, she's not my girlfriend, but I got really upset and worried people would think I was pathetic, so I drank a lot to ease my embarrassment. She finally came back, and we did shots---and then more, at her urge, and using my money. Honestly, this is a reoccurring pattern with her, but I'm too much of a coward to call her out on it and say no, like I said I feel like I'd lose my friends if I say no or let them down. Right before the bar was gonna close, she had sobered up, while I hadn't...and then told me another friend was taking her home, so I was basically on my own. She asked if that was okay, but in a half-hearted way and she really didn't seem to care about my well-being. I panicked---I knew I couldn't drive, and didn't know what to do. My parents are very protective since I live at home with them, and in the past had two suicide attempts---I wasn't thinking straight, and didn't want to call for help from them or get taken home in a taxi because I was terrified I'd upset them and they'd freak out and wouldn't let me go out. I mean, I'm 25, they can't stop me, but you know, I still show them respect since I live under their roof. And I don't have a lot of friends, so I didn't know who else to call.

I stupidly thought I'd be able to manage getting home, but ended up getting lost---finally I made it back to a place I recognized, and just wanted to pull over and call for help, when I got pulled over by a cop. He'd seen me driving around in circles, and so I got hit with a DUI because I was intoxicated. Terrified, I went to jail and spent 13 hours there---they didn't offer me a phone, and I was terrified to ask. My family and work all thought I was dead because no one knew where I was. The other people in the jail were yelling crazy "I'm gonna rape you stuff!" and other threats at me too because I was crying and they could tell they were getting to me, luckily they moved me to a cell away from that, but then I was basically left at the edge of the hall where no guard ever walked past, so I couldn't ask if I could call my parents or when I was getting out.

And---here I am. I fucked up big time. I've made mistakes in my life---plenty of them---but this is the first major legal one. Most of the mistakes I make are me messing up friendships due to anxiety and fear of losing friends, having issues at work, etc. At this point in my life, I was already at my lowest. A dead-end job, no friends (and now that I fucked things up, I don't want to hang out with those people again because they enable me I feel), live with my parents, etc., and now add the probable 1-year suspended license which is gonna destroy any hopes I had of finally moving out or getting a better job. I'm 25, live with my parents, won't have a license, and work at a grocery store. I'm literally trash. The only positive thing I have going for me is I recently got into learning Japanese which is the one bright-spot and goal I have at the moment, but even with that I'm doubting if I have the capability to learn the language as I've hit a wall in my studies. I just don't know what to do now...I'll be almost 27 before I can drive again.
Click to expand...


Bro, consider it a funny anecdote and move in.
It's not a big deal, I lost my licence for a year, but whatever. You ain't that old.

Jheeze, don't think of this add another thing in your shit life, more like a crazy adventure after a drunken night out. A year fires by. Use it to learn some new skills and go out there and kill it in a year!
 
davepoobond

davepoobond

you can't put a price on sparks
SneakyStephan said:
I see a lot of rationalisations for why you were driving drunk OP
Click to expand...

yeah, same. i didn't read every post from the OP, but the general feeling i got was a general lack of responsibility in regards to what is going on when you go out to drink.

He drinks a lot, his way of getting home is "I will drive." instead of calling for a cab, and his response as to why not was "i don't know how to do that."

There's already two logical fallacies there. If you drive, and are driving back, don't get drunk. Information on how to get a cab is on your phone, and you have to have had a phone at some point since you knew where to meet up.


hopefully this is a wake-up call in learning some basic responsibility.
 
D

Darksol

Member
caesar said:
Japan won't accept you if you have a criminal record.
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This is true. Also, Japan's extremely strict on drinking and driving.

OP, I have no sympathy for you, but I am glad that neither you nor anybody else was injured. Count your small blessings, and don't do it again.
 
F

Future

Member
The problem with drinking is it makes you irrational. You make decisions you normally would not have depending on how drunk you are. It's almost a catch 22 that we expect people to be rational enough to decide not to drive.
 
J

JBourne

maybe tomorrow it rains
I wasn't joking about the paralegal thing, OP. If you're in a county we cover and want a consult, I can help you out.
 
S

Sanjuro

Member
To everyone telling the OP to grow up. Do you know what happens when you grow up? You get DUIs.

Preach helpful advice.
 
Biff

Biff

Member
Man, if I was ever in a position where I had to spend 5 days in jail, I would 100% request solitary for those 5 days.

OP, if you somehow get 5 days, remember that.
 
F

freenudemacusers

Member
Sanjuro said:
To everyone telling the OP to grow up. Do you know what happens when you grow up? You get DUIs.

Preach helpful advice.
Click to expand...

3JZNuad.jpg
 
S

Shadybiz

Member
That sucks man. It could have been worse, though. All you can do is learn from it. And, that girl you were hanging out with sounds like a jerk, and you should probably ignore her.
 
E

EatinOlives

Member
Future said:
The problem with drinking is it makes you irrational. You make decisions you normally would not have depending on how drunk you are. It's almost a catch 22 that we expect people to be rational enough to decide not to drive.
Click to expand...

There were poor decisions made before the drinking started. Specifically, having his coworker's girlfriend be the DD and still let her drink anyway.
 
E

EatinOlives

Member
Sanjuro said:
There is no formula to that kind of stuff. You learn and move on ideally.
Click to expand...

You don't need a formula to know that the function of a designated driver is to have that person not drink so that he/she can drive you/everyone else home. "I'll be the DD but I'll just drink a little bit" is never a good idea.

Preferably you also don't make an untrustworthy asshole your DD, but understandably he didn't know that until well into the night. Lesson there is make sure your DD is trustworthy instead of not knowing.
 
S

Sanjuro

Member
EatinOlives said:
You don't need a formula to know that the function of a designated driver is to have that person not drink so that he/she can drive you/everyone else home. "I'll be the DD but I'll just drink a little bit" is never a good idea.

Preferably you also don't make an untrustworthy asshole your DD, but understandably he didn't know that until well into the night. Lesson there is make sure your DD is trustworthy instead of not knowing.
Click to expand...

So, you can make mistakes, but the DD can't? In an ideal world people make the right choices. Alcohol largely makes people make the incorrect ones. Not black and white.
 
E

EatinOlives

Member
Sanjuro said:
So, you can make mistakes, but the DD can't? In an ideal world people make the right choices. Alcohol largely makes people make the incorrect ones. Not black and white.
Click to expand...

Dude, this isn't that hard.

He talked with her regarding who the DD is beforehand. They agreed that she would drink "a little bit" beforehand. The instant she said "I'll just drink a little bit", you say "no, no way, that's a dumbass idea and I'm dumber for having heard it". The minute she started drinking he should have said "no, you can't drink, you're the DD, remember?" Yes he's got a drink at that point but he's not loaded, he can still make that decision.

Not everything about DUIs are black and white, but this is.
 
D

Doctor Ironic

Member
Sanjuro said:
Not really. Most people I've encountered as a "child" have had no issues with DUI. Usually, it's the kicking and screaming 30+ crowd because...life?
Click to expand...

So what the hell are you trying to say here? That DUIs are a natural part of growing up?

Because I can't figure out a single interpretation of your cryptic bullshit where you don't come out sounding like a dumbass.
 
S

Sanjuro

Member
Doctor Ironic said:
So what the hell are you trying to say here? That DUIs are a natural part of growing up?

Because I can't figure out a single interpretation of your cryptic bullshit where you don't come out sounding like a dumbass.
Click to expand...

I'm not that cryptic. Do you believe the 21-under crowd is the primary DUI audience?
 
Nydius

Nydius

Member
Sanjuro said:
I'm not that cryptic. Do you believe the 21-under crowd is the primary DUI audience?
Click to expand...

Your posts read like diarrhea of the keyboard: A bunch of words shat out that, combined, just make a mess and stink. Your age arguments not only have no basis in fact they make no sense whatsoever.

I've supported the OP because his issues are deeply mental health related and simply throwing the book at him won't fix the underlying problems. You, on the other hand, seem to just be defending DUI because ...it's only old people who get pissed off about it? ...because everyone supposedly does it?

So no, you're not cryptic.
You just don't make any sense.
 
S

Sanjuro

Member
Captiosus said:
Your posts read like diarrhea of the keyboard: A bunch of words shat out that, combined, just make a mess and stink. You're age arguments not only have no basis in fact they make no sense whatsoever.

I've supported the OP because his issues are deeply mental health related and simply throwing the book at him won't fix the underlying problems. You, on the other hand, seem to just be defending DUI because ...it's only old people who get pissed off about it? ...because everyone supposedly does it?

So no, you're not cryptic.
You just don't make any sense.
Click to expand...

No, I make plenty of sense. Are we talking about the OP? Because he isn't a factor into my issue with people saying "grow up". He is 25.

The OP reached out after a shit night, and I offered the best advice I possibly could not knowing much about him. More than anything you have brought to the table.
 
W

Watch Da Birdie

I buy cakes for myself on my birthday it's not weird lots of people do it I bet
I didn't mean for the thread to sound callous, as in I was planning to do this again. In fact I have no urge to drink alcohol for quite awhile at all, I don't think I was exactly an alcoholic as I only drank with my friends, and sometimes with my parents, but never at home and it never effected my job or schooling. Still though, recently I'd been drinking a bit more, and I think I should probably back off of it, even when this is all over. It's really the one vice I have---I'm a very healthy eater, and regularly exercise (the one thing I can be proud of is that I'm well fit and healthy), but the alcohol was giving me stomach issues and I noticed I was breaking out as well.

And I admit, at first I was more concerned with the immediate ramifications I'd face when I posted this more than how bad I risked my life and others. I think I deserve the critical posts in this thread, and I'm glad you guys aren't going easy on me. I was always afraid of getting caught more than really hurting anyone, because I never thought I'd really get into this situation---but in all honesty, I should consider myself extremely lucky. And I'm really sorry for making this all about my issues---fact is, I'm better than I'd been in the past when I tried to kill myself, and my life is fairly decent despite my social and career failings. I don't really take the time to appreciate that as much as I should, but today I was just happy to go to work, come home, and spend time with my family.

I talked to the girl I was with, and I was upset with her a bit but I didn't blame her or anything since ultimately I made the decision. Still though, I'm wary of ever talking to her again---I recently got talked into her to give 50 bucks to a friend of hers for a bill, and especially now I regret doing that because I have a sinking feeling she was lying. I don't think she's a completely horrible person, but based on the situation with her boyfriend, she's not the greatest person when it comes to fiscal responsibility.

But, yeah, this is definitely new territory for me and is frightening. The biggest shame is back in College, I used to be the very over-protective one when it came to making sure folks were okay and looking out for others. I guess part of the issue the other night is I worry about others more than my own well-being.

Japan won't accept you if you have a criminal record.
Click to expand...

As in, like never ever? Even for a misdemeanor?
 
W

Watch Da Birdie

I buy cakes for myself on my birthday it's not weird lots of people do it I bet
This was the only time I'd done something like that, though. As for why I did it---like I said, I'm eager to please people even if it's at my own expense, and at the time I wasn't strapped for cash like I soon will be.
 
S

Sanjuro

Member
Watch Da Birdie said:
This was the only time I'd done something like that, though. As for why I did it---like I said, I'm eager to please people even if it's at my own expense, and at the time I wasn't strapped for cash like I soon will be.
Click to expand...

I've been the guy waiting for friends/acquaintances in city lockup at 3AM for release a few times.

All you can do is suck it up and understand what is important to those friends.
 
Risible

Risible

Member
Sanjuro said:
To everyone telling the OP to grow up. Do you know what happens when you grow up? You get DUIs.
Click to expand...

openrob said:
Bro, consider it a funny anecdote and move in.
It's not a big deal, I lost my licence for a year, but whatever. You ain't that old.
Jheeze, don't think of this add another thing in your shit life, more like a crazy adventure after a drunken night out.
Click to expand...

For the love of fuck please tell me you guys don't live near me. HEY GUYS DUIS ARE AN ADVENTURE!
 
R

Resilient

Member
Risible said:
For the love of fuck please tell me you guys don't live near me. HEY GUYS DUIS ARE AN ADVENTURE!
Click to expand...

there are people who drive cars that don't give a SHIT about the safety of others. Fuck those two posters for thinking this is normal, seriously, you guys are fucks.
 
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