its statutory, which is still rape
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I need advice on how to handle my little sister's situation
- Thread starter Mariolee
- Start date
its statutory, which is still rape
Yeah, I guess the question I have for the OP is, is there anything this guy can say, that will convince him to back off? Is there some magical phrase, where the OP will no longer find it necessary to threaten him with statutory rape charges? If not, then what's the point of asking for his side? Curiosity over whether his sister is being unfair? Seriously? Also, OP, you're not going to get any insight into how your sister feels, by talking to this guy. You're only going to get insight into how your sister feels, by talking to your sister and if she doesn't want to give you more details, you have to just accept that.
Maybe it's because I'm not religious but I don't get why your sister wants to keep the baby if she's pregnant. It feels more like she wants a way to keep the guy in her life and that she likes him a lot more than she's willing to admit.
The guy sure doesn't sound like a normal bf that cares about his partner and viewed your sister as an easy sexual outlet because she's Asian and much younger. Did your sister explicitly said they are in a relationship and that he's her bf? All these seems to be the usual recipes that boils to a terrible "bf" and father.
Ultimately it's up to you. I don't have a younger sister but while I understand first love may be tough to break and at your sister age, she can't control her hormones / feelings of being attracted to her bf. But it's also a path I won't want her to continue down the route. She owns her body to no one, this relationship even at approval seems to be unhealthy as fuck.
The guy sure doesn't sound like a normal bf that cares about his partner and viewed your sister as an easy sexual outlet because she's Asian and much younger. Did your sister explicitly said they are in a relationship and that he's her bf? All these seems to be the usual recipes that boils to a terrible "bf" and father.
Ultimately it's up to you. I don't have a younger sister but while I understand first love may be tough to break and at your sister age, she can't control her hormones / feelings of being attracted to her bf. But it's also a path I won't want her to continue down the route. She owns her body to no one, this relationship even at approval seems to be unhealthy as fuck.
Mr. Blonde
Member
Leave him and her alone
She asked for my help.
BobNewbert31
Member
iRAWRasaurus
Banned
Only thing to do. Fuck his little sister.
Tell her to take the second pregnancy test just to put her mind at ease. Talk to the guy and tell him if he comes around again, you'll tell your parents, his parents and will go to the police.
And as for all the comments about your sister liking him etc... she's your sister and you know her. From what you've said, it doesn't seem like she's lying. It seems like she kind of liked him and was then pressured into sex. It happens all the time. Since she's confiding in you, it does her no good to lie about it. If she was going to lie, she would have laid it on thicker and wouldn't be defending him. When I was her age, my friend Jessica went through this exact situation.
And as for all the comments about your sister liking him etc... she's your sister and you know her. From what you've said, it doesn't seem like she's lying. It seems like she kind of liked him and was then pressured into sex. It happens all the time. Since she's confiding in you, it does her no good to lie about it. If she was going to lie, she would have laid it on thicker and wouldn't be defending him. When I was her age, my friend Jessica went through this exact situation.
lol whututut?
I Stalk Alone
Member
Be honest with your sister and ask first if she actually really likes the guy and if she does tell her that it is ok. Then she will tell you a version of the truth that is closer to the real truth.
Then you can still kick his ass for no reason because you are the brother, and brothers make mistakes.
Then you can still kick his ass for no reason because you are the brother, and brothers make mistakes.
markitrons
Member
Agreed, the information you are getting is going to be filtered through the lens of a young teen who is probably terrified, in both "best" and "worst" scenarios.
Being understanding of her decisions, and supporting her emotionally will give her the best shot at agency and navigating a situation like this.
Morrigan Stark
Arrogant Smirk
Some douchebags are pretty misogynistic and don't see women as people, unless you appeal to their direct relatives. Telling them "what if it were your mother/sister/daughter" is the only way to get them to empathize with women and girls. It's very common, sadly.
What a day.
So, over the last few days some developments arose, coming to a sort of a head today. I found out the first time she had sex with him it was not consensual, but the second time when he came to our house there was a bit more to the story. To make this clearer, Im going to be breaking this up into parts.
Part 1: Missing Information
On that day, my sister had given him our address because she said she was under the impression that they were going to talk about the previous night in the car. Once my dad was gone, dude drove in and parked his car outside. He met up with my sister and once they got to talking, he asked for another blowjob. Then I asked her, Who brought up having sex then? And she looked down at the ground ashamed and said, Me.
That means the first time wasnt consensual, the second time was (Kinda).
I say kinda because he gave her next to no time to process what happened less than a day before so her judgement especially as a 15 year old wasnt up to par. There have been many cases I know of where a person will be more likely to have sex the second time with a perpetrator who pressured them into sex because at that point the victim feels like a bunch of broken goods. You can make your own opinions as Im sure you already have.
At this point, apparently, a neighbor spotted the dudes care outside and called my father. My father then called my sister and spoke directly to this dude through her phone and warned him that he will call the police if this dude tries this shit again. Good to know my dads familiar with this asshole.
Another development is after I talked with my little sisters friends, they told me that apparently, this jackass is bragging to his friends about what happened, and now its spreading throughout the school. Only, hes not telling what had actually happened (according to my sister). He is saying that the first time they had sex, he brought her back to her place. The second time, he brought her back to his place. This, based on objective evidence even outside my sister, is obviously not what happened. Fuck this guy.
----
Part 2: The Pregnancy Test
I bought her a couple pregnancy tests last night, and she used it both last night and today in the morning. Both negative. You could tell she was relieved, and I was happy to see her get a break. At that point I told her that I would then be messaging the dude later in the day after they had school.
I send him a message basically stating (I will be paraphrasing most of our convo): This is [my little sisters name]s brother. You and I need to talk tomorrow, if you dont then Ill talk to your parents instead.
I gave him an address to a Starbucks (where I know I have a friend who studies there that could provide back up if he does something stupid) and left it at that. I get a reply back 20 minutes later:
I think you have the wrong number. I just got this phone. I have no idea who [my little sisters name] is.
This motherfucker.
Knowing dudes terrified of his dad finding out, I reply back: Ok then, Ill just contact his parents. Thanks.
Theres more than one reason why hed be afraid of his dad, but I dont want to get too specific for fear these details might give away our identity and screw us over in the future.
I hatch a plan to get my little sister to call his dad and say that This is [dudes name]s friend. I lent him my charger and want to get it back but I think he heard he has a new number. Do you mind giving his new number to me? That way we can confirm if dudes lying or not, and that he knows were not afraid to get his parents involved.
I try to tell my sister about this plan after school, but I cant find her. Eventually I hear crying outside on the front porch. Its her. She tells me these werent the only pregnancy tests she took.
A couple weeks after they had sex, she took her first pregnancy test that she didnt tell anyone about. It was positive. She showed me the picture of her positive test. However, in the following weeks her period came back and she was bleeding again. This leads to last week where she took another pregnancy test (which was negative) and then two again today (both negative). Shes crying because she thinks she had an early miscarriage.
I hold her. I hug her as tight as I can. I tell her theres no way she knows that for sure, and that the test couldve been and was most likely wrong. I offer her as many words of comfort and affirmation as there exists in the world. I tell her that tomorrow well get my dad to schedule an appointment with her doctor next week so she can talk about this all with him. She doesnt want to at first, but eventually she agrees. My dad notices her crying and after consoling her, I tell him that shes both sick and stressed because of her failing grades, us moving to a new house, and our parents fighting every day. Hes convinced, and he agrees to schedule an appointment with her regular physician.
We return outside, and I comfort her more. She talks about being so done with this world, and I immediately turn to her and make her promise never to kill herself. I tell her that for the last few weeks, even before she told me about all this because I could sense something was wrong, I had been afraid she was thinking of killing herself. Its the first thought I have when I wake up and the last before I go to sleep. I pray constantly about it. I tell her all this and she cries more. I hold her hand, and suddenly an old Indian lady walks by our house and waves at us. I wave back, and I tell my sister I want us to end up that way. Old and happy. I want you to end up that way. She smiles.
I then put my pinky out and grab her pinky. Promise me youll grow up to be old and happy. She laughs and says she promises. I say back, Good, and just to make sure you dont forget I pull out my phone and take a picture of our pinky promise. Now, well never forget. I wont let you.
---
Part 3: The Plan
To help give her some therapy, I end up skyping my best friend who has been through these kinds of relationships in the past, and she gives my sister comforting words and someone to relate to. My sisters spirits are lifted, and shes finally ready to give his dad a call.
I write down what she should say because shes nervous. I tell her to say what I stated up above. It works. His dad picks up, believes my sis genuinely wants a charger back, he says when he gets home in ten minutes hell ask his son (the dude) to call my sister back. Before we hang up, she asks to confirm if he has a new phone number or not. His dad confirms no. Gotcha asshole.
Of course Im not expecting him to call me, but the plan was still successful. Now he knows we have his dads phone and we arent afraid to contact him, and that he doesnt have some new phone number.
I text him back: I talked to your dad and he told me you have the same number. Tell me by tonight when you can meet next week in person or I will call your dad again.
He finally replies: Im busy all week at work next week, what is this about?
I say back: I heard what you did with my sister and simply want to get your side of the story. Im sure your work doesnt take 24 hours day. Seriously relax man.
He replies saying hes busy, but can explain everything through text. He says it was all consent, he used a condom, and doesnt want this to escalate. Hes also sorry.
I say: Thats fine and all, but I want to hear this in person.
He says that hell let me know. I give him until Monday to tell me a good time (because I found he has graduation tomorrow and Im out of town this weekend). I leave him with a warning: if he doesnt get back to me by Monday morning, or if reaches out to my sister or tells any more people than hes already told, I will absolutely without hesitation tell his parents everything.
He says: Okay.
Now we wait until Monday.
Sorry if this is a lot to read. I think writing this all out is therapeutic for me in some ways.
So, over the last few days some developments arose, coming to a sort of a head today. I found out the first time she had sex with him it was not consensual, but the second time when he came to our house there was a bit more to the story. To make this clearer, Im going to be breaking this up into parts.
Part 1: Missing Information
On that day, my sister had given him our address because she said she was under the impression that they were going to talk about the previous night in the car. Once my dad was gone, dude drove in and parked his car outside. He met up with my sister and once they got to talking, he asked for another blowjob. Then I asked her, Who brought up having sex then? And she looked down at the ground ashamed and said, Me.
That means the first time wasnt consensual, the second time was (Kinda).
I say kinda because he gave her next to no time to process what happened less than a day before so her judgement especially as a 15 year old wasnt up to par. There have been many cases I know of where a person will be more likely to have sex the second time with a perpetrator who pressured them into sex because at that point the victim feels like a bunch of broken goods. You can make your own opinions as Im sure you already have.
At this point, apparently, a neighbor spotted the dudes care outside and called my father. My father then called my sister and spoke directly to this dude through her phone and warned him that he will call the police if this dude tries this shit again. Good to know my dads familiar with this asshole.
Another development is after I talked with my little sisters friends, they told me that apparently, this jackass is bragging to his friends about what happened, and now its spreading throughout the school. Only, hes not telling what had actually happened (according to my sister). He is saying that the first time they had sex, he brought her back to her place. The second time, he brought her back to his place. This, based on objective evidence even outside my sister, is obviously not what happened. Fuck this guy.
----
Part 2: The Pregnancy Test
I bought her a couple pregnancy tests last night, and she used it both last night and today in the morning. Both negative. You could tell she was relieved, and I was happy to see her get a break. At that point I told her that I would then be messaging the dude later in the day after they had school.
I send him a message basically stating (I will be paraphrasing most of our convo): This is [my little sisters name]s brother. You and I need to talk tomorrow, if you dont then Ill talk to your parents instead.
I gave him an address to a Starbucks (where I know I have a friend who studies there that could provide back up if he does something stupid) and left it at that. I get a reply back 20 minutes later:
I think you have the wrong number. I just got this phone. I have no idea who [my little sisters name] is.
This motherfucker.
Knowing dudes terrified of his dad finding out, I reply back: Ok then, Ill just contact his parents. Thanks.
Theres more than one reason why hed be afraid of his dad, but I dont want to get too specific for fear these details might give away our identity and screw us over in the future.
I hatch a plan to get my little sister to call his dad and say that This is [dudes name]s friend. I lent him my charger and want to get it back but I think he heard he has a new number. Do you mind giving his new number to me? That way we can confirm if dudes lying or not, and that he knows were not afraid to get his parents involved.
I try to tell my sister about this plan after school, but I cant find her. Eventually I hear crying outside on the front porch. Its her. She tells me these werent the only pregnancy tests she took.
A couple weeks after they had sex, she took her first pregnancy test that she didnt tell anyone about. It was positive. She showed me the picture of her positive test. However, in the following weeks her period came back and she was bleeding again. This leads to last week where she took another pregnancy test (which was negative) and then two again today (both negative). Shes crying because she thinks she had an early miscarriage.
I hold her. I hug her as tight as I can. I tell her theres no way she knows that for sure, and that the test couldve been and was most likely wrong. I offer her as many words of comfort and affirmation as there exists in the world. I tell her that tomorrow well get my dad to schedule an appointment with her doctor next week so she can talk about this all with him. She doesnt want to at first, but eventually she agrees. My dad notices her crying and after consoling her, I tell him that shes both sick and stressed because of her failing grades, us moving to a new house, and our parents fighting every day. Hes convinced, and he agrees to schedule an appointment with her regular physician.
We return outside, and I comfort her more. She talks about being so done with this world, and I immediately turn to her and make her promise never to kill herself. I tell her that for the last few weeks, even before she told me about all this because I could sense something was wrong, I had been afraid she was thinking of killing herself. Its the first thought I have when I wake up and the last before I go to sleep. I pray constantly about it. I tell her all this and she cries more. I hold her hand, and suddenly an old Indian lady walks by our house and waves at us. I wave back, and I tell my sister I want us to end up that way. Old and happy. I want you to end up that way. She smiles.
I then put my pinky out and grab her pinky. Promise me youll grow up to be old and happy. She laughs and says she promises. I say back, Good, and just to make sure you dont forget I pull out my phone and take a picture of our pinky promise. Now, well never forget. I wont let you.
---
Part 3: The Plan
To help give her some therapy, I end up skyping my best friend who has been through these kinds of relationships in the past, and she gives my sister comforting words and someone to relate to. My sisters spirits are lifted, and shes finally ready to give his dad a call.
I write down what she should say because shes nervous. I tell her to say what I stated up above. It works. His dad picks up, believes my sis genuinely wants a charger back, he says when he gets home in ten minutes hell ask his son (the dude) to call my sister back. Before we hang up, she asks to confirm if he has a new phone number or not. His dad confirms no. Gotcha asshole.
Of course Im not expecting him to call me, but the plan was still successful. Now he knows we have his dads phone and we arent afraid to contact him, and that he doesnt have some new phone number.
I text him back: I talked to your dad and he told me you have the same number. Tell me by tonight when you can meet next week in person or I will call your dad again.
He finally replies: Im busy all week at work next week, what is this about?
I say back: I heard what you did with my sister and simply want to get your side of the story. Im sure your work doesnt take 24 hours day. Seriously relax man.
He replies saying hes busy, but can explain everything through text. He says it was all consent, he used a condom, and doesnt want this to escalate. Hes also sorry.
I say: Thats fine and all, but I want to hear this in person.
He says that hell let me know. I give him until Monday to tell me a good time (because I found he has graduation tomorrow and Im out of town this weekend). I leave him with a warning: if he doesnt get back to me by Monday morning, or if reaches out to my sister or tells any more people than hes already told, I will absolutely without hesitation tell his parents everything.
He says: Okay.
Now we wait until Monday.
Sorry if this is a lot to read. I think writing this all out is therapeutic for me in some ways.
Police would just complicate things further unfortunately, as explained previously in the thread. Obviously, a talk isn't going to change his mind, but hopefully if I threaten him with telling his parents (writing that out makes it that much more apparent how childish this dude is) he'll back off.
If I were you, I'd keep a recording or log whenever you meet up with this asshole, just in case you ever do need to escalate. I'm also assuming your state doesn't have laws against public recordings, but it could give you peace of mind.
That dude's a creep. I remember being attracted to a freshman as a senior and didn't pursue it cause I knew how scummy it was and how easy it would be to manipulate a girl with that kind of age difference. This dude clearly lacks a moral compass. Halfway through the OP I was practically screaming "Call the fucking cops!!" but I can understand not wanting to get them involved. Your sister shouldn't be the barometer for that decision, however.
You seem like a really, really awesome big brother. Hopefully this all blows over now that he is out of high school.
Edit: Also, linking to your updates in the OP was a nice touch. I wish more people did that.
You seem like a really, really awesome big brother. Hopefully this all blows over now that he is out of high school.
Edit: Also, linking to your updates in the OP was a nice touch. I wish more people did that.
Ugh, you still asked him for "his side of the story," despite all the advice against it.
Also, false positives are extremely rare. If your sister took an earlier pregnancy test that came back positive, then more likely than not she miscarried (as she said). So, your sister is probably going to need some time (and possibly help) to come to grips with that.
Also, false positives are extremely rare. If your sister took an earlier pregnancy test that came back positive, then more likely than not she miscarried (as she said). So, your sister is probably going to need some time (and possibly help) to come to grips with that.
Yoshimitsu126
Member
OMFG THAT ASSHOLE
Sorry I had to get that out my system. But I want to say I'm glad she isn't pregnant at least. This seems to complicated to jump in so the reaction is from what I read from the first post.
BUT IF THAT DUDE FUCKING RAPED YOUR SISTER.
I realize this is something that happens to others but I also have a sister and yes I am Asian American too.
Omg
EDIT: AND DONT BEAT YOURSELF OP. BECAUSE ITS NOT YOU OR YOUR SISTER FAULT. Have you told your parents about this btw or is this too complicated?
Sorry I had to get that out my system. But I want to say I'm glad she isn't pregnant at least. This seems to complicated to jump in so the reaction is from what I read from the first post.
BUT IF THAT DUDE FUCKING RAPED YOUR SISTER.
I realize this is something that happens to others but I also have a sister and yes I am Asian American too.
Omg
EDIT: AND DONT BEAT YOURSELF OP. BECAUSE ITS NOT YOU OR YOUR SISTER FAULT. Have you told your parents about this btw or is this too complicated?
I'm curious as to why you think I'm asking him.
Will address the other posts later, but on mobile so can't post much.
The best guess I have at this point, is simple curiosity. Why are you asking him? I asked earlier, but you didn't respond. Do you really think asking will help your sister somehow?
No. I'm asking him so he will actually sit down face to face and talk to me. This idiot is not going to listen to a word I say, or even show up, if I don't calm him down and make him think I'm giving him a "fair" chance to tell his story.
There is more or less nothing he can say that will convince me he's not a slimy rapist at this point.
I'm also hoping to poke holes in his story based on what I already know and get him to squirm. I need him to know that he isn't getting away with this, and I need him to realize it in front of my face.
Apologies if I didn't answer your question in earlier posts. There have been a lot of posts, which I appreciate for the support, so I haven't been able to reply to each one.
depths20XX
Member
I don't think that's how it works. Lots of kids fuck in highschool. Aren't they both minors in this story?
SmokinGunZ1981
Member
This just sounds like you're doing it for yourself though, you say he needs to know that he 'isn't getting away with it' but how is having a chat with you going to make him realise it?
I'm still not sure why if you truly believe this was rape you haven't informed the authorities or at least your parents.
Thanks for explaining. I understand the tactic, but if anything is going to make him show up, it's the fear that you'll speak to his dad. You also don't need to hear his side of the story, to get him to squirm. Telling him: "If you come near my sister again, I'll have you arrested for statutory rape." Will be enough to get him to squirm. I think it's best if you leave it at that.
I guess the concern I have at this point, is that allowing him to tell you "his side" of the story, feels a little like invading your sister's privacy. She told you what she felt comfortable with you knowing. If you're looking for more information, then you're purposefully trying to discover information she didn't feel comfortable telling you. Also, giving him the chance to disparage your sister, just doesn't seem worth it.
depths20XX
Member
that doesn't change the age on consent
So in California it's considered rape if you're an 18 year old who has sex with a 17 year old? It seems like an odd thing.
As I understand it, and of course this is a very basic understanding of the law, but in California when recording there must be two-party consent meaning I can't secretly record him.
I also know this too. I just think at this point, it would be better if a doctor told her that. Right now what she needs from me is comfort at this point. Not that I'm going to deny it, but once she talks to her physician about it then the actual coming to grips can begin.
We're talking legally. In California, because he is 18 and she is a minor, it doesn't matter if she gives consent. It is still statutory rape. Just because it happens all the time doesn't make it legal.
I don't need to contact the authorities or tell my parents to know this was statutory rape. What the hell?
And I'm not saying this talk isn't also for myself. It's happening for multiple reasons that I detailed in my other update.
What he is doing right now is bragging to all of his friend he fucked my little sister. And the word is spreading. Of course, there's little to nothing I can do about it now, but what I can do is at least keep him from bragging and also keep him from my little sister. That is accomplished when I sit him down and make him realize what he did was statutory rape, and that if he ever reaches out to my sister ever again, tells any more people about this, or if I even hear he does this shit to another girl (which is unlikely I will hear about but I'm hoping he's too scared and paranoid to risk it) I will without hesitation contact his parents and the authorities and threaten him with jail time (whether or not this is actually viable). I'm also hoping me appealing to the fact he has his own little sister and to imagine if the same thing happened to her will also help. This should be enough to scare the shit out of him.
Actually telling my parents or authorities at this moment in time is a bad idea for reasons discussed by myself and others in the thread.
Like I said, before I do anything I've told my sister all of this, and she's more than fine with me hearing out his side of the story. In fact, she laughed when he lied straight to me that I had the wrong number. There's no worry at that point. She trusts me. I appreciate the concern though.
Lord Fagan
Junior Member
You've got him by the balls if this text is in your phone.
Don't even go down the road of him explaining himself, this is all he can confess to, there's nothing left to explain.
Tell him he can either tell his parents in front of you and your sister, or you can send them the text and ask them if they think it's time to inform the police. I know that it's a harsh ultimatum, but this joker is a bad human being in dire need of a reality check before he really hurts somebody because YOLO(him bragging about this to others at school has kind of burned up any sympathy one might have for him and the damage a police report could do to his future). Either he will oblige you and the bullet you're helping him dodge, or he needs to be removed from the other kids in the sandbox.
Best of luck, OP. This fucker is a wannabe Stephen King goon stereotype. A shame your sister got mixed up with him, but you're doing her right providing an example of how a real man behaves around women he cares about, with an abundance trust and compassion. Keep on keepin' on.
shira
Member
I'm having a hard time believing this. Guy is legit snake.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Yeah the guys who were 17/18 seniors in high school hanging out with the 15 year olds always were weird
I don't know why you don't just talk to his dad already. Why are you bothering with the guy and playing games with letting him know you can contact him whenever you want?
It should be his problem, not yours.
Well, for one my sister doesn't want me to tell him so I'll respect her wishes. Another reason is again, I don't want this dragged out because the position his father has, this could go real crazy real fast that will make life potentially harder for my sister. I don't feel comfortable getting into any more detail than that. Basically, it'll become my problem. It's another variable I don't want to worry about.
Maximus.
Member
There probably is more to the story than OP or the sister has lead on. The kid probably is a horny dick, but going from uncomfortable kiss to sex just seems off. Anyways, OP you seem like you got a good head on your shoulders and want to do the right thing. I hope everything works out for your family and your sister. Good learning opportunity for the kid and hope she constructively learns something!
he's a rapist and hatching all those elaborate plans leads you nowhere. You can either go to the police or don't and just make sure he stays away from your sister. Don't count on his parents doing anything to "punish" him or help you, they will side with their son without hesitation
PHOENIXZERO
Member
Yeah, seniors creeping on freshmen was always messed up in this case though at this point there's no way he'd get an actual rape charge or at least one that would stick on the asshole with the way our system works barring some sort of admissible confession. It'd pretty much be statutory or bust.
Close in age exemptions do still exist though, not in Michigan (AoC is 16 here) as a dumbass cousin of mine who at the time was 19-20 at the time learned though I could've sworn I told him before that the AoC was firm and at the very least he should've known from his uncle. He also had this stupid idea that living with your 15 your old girlfriend and her father and he doesn't care then it's a-ok. Top it off while in county the dingus along with a couple others took part in attacking some guy who was supposedly in there for messing with little kids. So that killed any sort of leniency he might've had to spending pretty much the equivalent of the age gap incarcerated so far along with being on the SoR for life. The cherry on top of the fucked up sundae is she did get pregnant but the kid turned out to be another guy's who was also my cousin's age and IIRC he ended up also shacking up with her and her father. Not sure if he got in trouble or not.
Okay that turned into a rant...
Anyway, when it comes to California they have what isn't so much an exemption as it is a lessening of severity that was put in place to reduce sentences and free up jail space by making it misdemeanor if there's an age difference less than three years so it'd depend on the exact birth dates here as to whether it's a misdemeanor or a felony.
Close in age exemptions do still exist though, not in Michigan (AoC is 16 here) as a dumbass cousin of mine who at the time was 19-20 at the time learned though I could've sworn I told him before that the AoC was firm and at the very least he should've known from his uncle. He also had this stupid idea that living with your 15 your old girlfriend and her father and he doesn't care then it's a-ok. Top it off while in county the dingus along with a couple others took part in attacking some guy who was supposedly in there for messing with little kids. So that killed any sort of leniency he might've had to spending pretty much the equivalent of the age gap incarcerated so far along with being on the SoR for life. The cherry on top of the fucked up sundae is she did get pregnant but the kid turned out to be another guy's who was also my cousin's age and IIRC he ended up also shacking up with her and her father. Not sure if he got in trouble or not.
Okay that turned into a rant...
Anyway, when it comes to California they have what isn't so much an exemption as it is a lessening of severity that was put in place to reduce sentences and free up jail space by making it misdemeanor if there's an age difference less than three years so it'd depend on the exact birth dates here as to whether it's a misdemeanor or a felony.
I genuinely have no idea why instead of hatching ridiculous elaborate plans to get a gotcha from a rapist and posting this shit on GAF you're not involving the cops.
If you really believe the first time was without consent them go to the police instead of whatever the fuck it is you're doing. Next time it's going to be someone else's sister and its potentially something you could have stopped.
If you really believe the first time was without consent them go to the police instead of whatever the fuck it is you're doing. Next time it's going to be someone else's sister and its potentially something you could have stopped.
Honestly feel the best case scenario would be making sure he doesn't do this shit to anyone else too, but that's OP's or his sister's call to make.
Honestly I did not read all of your posts or any of the discussions in here.
But from what I read what I have to add is that false positive pregnancy tests are a thing. I have actually experienced one myself and got myself checked out at a hospital on the same day both ultrasound and the regular test they had me do were negative. So there hasn't necessarily been a miscarriage. I hope it can bring some comfort if you decide to tell your sister about my experience and either way I hope things will work out.
But from what I read what I have to add is that false positive pregnancy tests are a thing. I have actually experienced one myself and got myself checked out at a hospital on the same day both ultrasound and the regular test they had me do were negative. So there hasn't necessarily been a miscarriage. I hope it can bring some comfort if you decide to tell your sister about my experience and either way I hope things will work out.
Droog
Member
You're a damn good brother if you ask me. Horrible situation but you're doing right by your sister. Keep it up!
Been reading this thread and caught up to present time.
I applaud you for having such a ridiculously strong resolve and a rational, mature approach to this awful situation. Personally, I would have probably murdered this guy by now. If you do meet in person, you should inconspicuously record the conversation. Or maybe you shouldn't, I don't know if that's a bad idea in the legal sense or not. But you need all the evidence you can get because this piece of shit needs to be in a fucking cell ASAP.
Edit: and as others have said, you really are a great brother.
I applaud you for having such a ridiculously strong resolve and a rational, mature approach to this awful situation. Personally, I would have probably murdered this guy by now. If you do meet in person, you should inconspicuously record the conversation. Or maybe you shouldn't, I don't know if that's a bad idea in the legal sense or not. But you need all the evidence you can get because this piece of shit needs to be in a fucking cell ASAP.
Edit: and as others have said, you really are a great brother.
Al-ibn Kermit
Junior Member
I had a friend who was raped a few months before we met (a year prior to her telling me) and.....your rationality in dealing with this situation is going to be decreased even if you don't realize it.
What you have to do OP is call the cops today. Like as soon as you read this. It's Friday which is his graduation day. He needs to be arrested as soon as possible or even at the ceremony, to give him that huge stain on his reputation forever where everybody finds out why he's not there. Even if it doesn't lead to charges, getting him arrested and shamed by everyone else is the best option you have and the only option that will actually lead to him being less likely to rape again (besides murder of course).
Unfortunately, there's almost no way you can prove a he-said she-said rape case but I know in your mind, you want to speak to him face-to-face first because you're thinking there could be some extra evidence you get on him that will build a strong case or something. There isn't, he'll lie or run and that's it. Meeting him in person will only satisfy your vengeance which I know you want so hard to believe you're above since you are a very supportive and empathetic person.
Call the police right now, deal with the family drama later.
What you have to do OP is call the cops today. Like as soon as you read this. It's Friday which is his graduation day. He needs to be arrested as soon as possible or even at the ceremony, to give him that huge stain on his reputation forever where everybody finds out why he's not there. Even if it doesn't lead to charges, getting him arrested and shamed by everyone else is the best option you have and the only option that will actually lead to him being less likely to rape again (besides murder of course).
Unfortunately, there's almost no way you can prove a he-said she-said rape case but I know in your mind, you want to speak to him face-to-face first because you're thinking there could be some extra evidence you get on him that will build a strong case or something. There isn't, he'll lie or run and that's it. Meeting him in person will only satisfy your vengeance which I know you want so hard to believe you're above since you are a very supportive and empathetic person.
Call the police right now, deal with the family drama later.
Sho_Nuff82
Member
Having one on ones with this guy or threatening him to confess in any way is really, really going to fuck up any legal case you might have against him.
Hashing it out through text might have been the smarter play if you're not going to call the cops. What if he doesn't cooperate, or tells you a story that doesn't line up with hers, or flat out says it never happened? What if he tells your dad out of spite? What if you two get in a fight and you injure him?
There are lots of ways this could go wrong. Good on you for supporting your sister through all of this, but if she has been raped, unless you're going to kick his ass, you should go to the police sooner than later.
Hashing it out through text might have been the smarter play if you're not going to call the cops. What if he doesn't cooperate, or tells you a story that doesn't line up with hers, or flat out says it never happened? What if he tells your dad out of spite? What if you two get in a fight and you injure him?
There are lots of ways this could go wrong. Good on you for supporting your sister through all of this, but if she has been raped, unless you're going to kick his ass, you should go to the police sooner than later.
That would be very messy for his sis. With little likelihood of success, unfortunately.
Wait and see if she is actually pregnant. If she's not, approach the guy and tell him you think the entire relationship is unhealthy and to stay away from your sister. I don't want to advocate you breaking the law and whatnot but I'd be firm about it.
If she's pregnant well, I guess it becomes a tough family decision at that point that isn't up to you.
If she's pregnant well, I guess it becomes a tough family decision at that point that isn't up to you.
It definitely statutory rape because there is no Romeo and Juliet exception in California law. But would your sister want to go through a court case, be called as a witness, etc? Plus, getting the police involved means your parents knowing everything. I also wonder if you are getting the entire story. It sounds like she wasn't emotionally ready to start having sex, especially with the Christian guilt complex and very religious parents. She needs to be able to avoid having another situation where she might feel pressured into having sex again, ie, make sure that kid never talks to her again. You don't need to hear his side of the story, let him know if he contacts her again, statutory rape charges will be filed. There is no legal consent for anyone under 18 in California. The senior is 18 right? Technically, statutory rape charges could be brought against your sister if he was 17.