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[Cilla]

You need to get help for yourself before trying to get a relationship. Sitting in a coffee shop waiting all day won't get you that though.

Seriously though get professional help. That's all people can tell you on any thread. It helps more than you think.

 

[Dreams-Visions]

I am angry. My childhood and life is like few times worse than yours in my eyes. Imagine born with disease, pretty much no parental love and have to struggle to live in a new, very different country. I had a lot of trouble with women because i kept it to myself and never approached them even they were there. And i falied every attempt because i am always feeling insecured and fuck up every possible relationship. Suicide thought is always part of my life. But you know what, I find my strength to live on. When I am down I tell myself to struggle through it (it maybe something I inherented as my father is depressed all his life). I have sibling who I was close to but can't love me now, due to his disease-the only person i ever feel cared for me now cant even have feelings. The other person I cared about, my mom, died when i was 20.There has not been 1 day in my life where I was not feeling depressed. I feel my life is never better than 10 years ago, than 20 years ago, than 30 years ago. But I learned all I have in this world that can help me live through tough times,is myself (yes i have my family but i dont ever feel i am helped) and if I don't continue living, I will never know the better days of my life in the future. Being alive now, if I killed my self in the past, I know I would regret it,if I could know what my life is now...a bitter, but sweet life. If I can find the strength to go on, so can you.

I am not bragging that my life is worse than you blah blah blah, I am just saying, I feel I am worse than anyone in the world...but all it is, is my feelings...my life isn't really that bad when I look at it objectively. And maybe, maybe, your life is better than you think too and maybe there are thinks worth living for that you just can't rationally think about now. But trust me, trust the people who care about you, like those here, that life, will get better and it's ok to be depressed as long as you know, there are helps out there to help you get better, if you need that.

I appologize if I come across as rude and unsempathetic, I am feeling ill physically today and it's almost like I feel I am daying

word.

and get better bro.

 

[Mr. Giggles]

Don't do it OP.

PM me your psn let's play video games together.

 

[Stevetopsy]

You only get one life. No second tries. Make the most of the one chance you have to be a part of the cosmos with the ability to actually be conscious and experience it all. There's so much to live for and your life can turn around when you least expect it. No one knows their future for certain.

 

[AzureSkies]

1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Please call immediately

Please make this call, there is seriously another way.

 

[esms]

I should be fine. thanks.
I talked to the police I'll talk to work and they'll probably have to let me go. Then I'll go to the hospital.
i hate medicine but they'll probably give me somethang.
Thanks evillore . I talked to the police.
Thanks everyone.
I'm too tired to answer everyone.
I read everything though.
I'll stop posting as I'm embarassed.
Bye for now.

Glad you're OK brotha.

 

[ferrasvansen]

I should be fine. thanks.
I talked to the police I'll talk to work and they'll probably have to let me go. Then I'll go to the hospital.
i hate medicine but they'll probably give me somethang.
Thanks evillore . I talked to the police.
Thanks everyone.
I'm too tired to answer everyone.
I read everything though.
I'll stop posting as I'm embarassed.
Bye for now.

I'm glad your ok for now was kinda worried reading your initial post, having been in a similar situation for the last 13 years I really feel for you. Go to the hospital ask for help, it's worth it for sure. Do not be embarrassed, no need for that here just stay safe and I wish you well for the next few days and weeks.

 

[Dr. Buni]

I am not going to try to convince you to not die, OP. It is your life, you do what you want with it. Just remember you will not be able to regret it later, so think well about it.

You only get one life. No second tries.

You don't know that.

 

[Shmuppers]

I should be fine. thanks.
I talked to the police I'll talk to work and they'll probably have to let me go. Then I'll go to the hospital.
i hate medicine but they'll probably give me somethang.
Thanks evillore . I talked to the police.
Thanks everyone.
I'm too tired to answer everyone.
I read everything though.
I'll stop posting as I'm embarassed.
Bye for now.

Don't be embarrassed man! You persevered!

You're a hell of a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.

 

[Blargonaut]

cryptic, if you had written that autobiography because of my post in your other thread, thanks for taking the time to do so. And most importantly, thank yourself.

I find that it helps to write down the events of your past, summarizing mistakes, achievements and everything in between into coherent words; with a little time, you may look upon the words you've written and find that those passed minutes, hours, weeks and/or months have given you the ability to evaluate your life more objectively. Identification is the first step towards foundation.

I'm also glad to see that you've chosen to remain with the living; if you need a confidant, I'm here.

Personally, I've found that the best mental state to be in, is a sarcastic ennui. Not too optimistic, not too pessimistic, just the right level of humour. Try it, it's fun

 

[erpg]

Have you considered seeing a Speech-Language Pathologist?

 

[Bigboss242]

Just got fired. called to see when I would work got a sat sun then ill let you go.

 

[Malfunky]

Don't feel embarrassed. Don't feel ashamed. You're not alone in your thoughts and feelings. No one in this thread thinks this is dumb or something. We all care enough to read your thoughts and give you our own and even share some of our hopes with you. Why don't you come back some time, when you're comfortable, and talk about some of the hopes you have? Some of the things that do make you smile, even if they are silly. Personally, I listen to podcasts. I watch silly let's plays on YouTube. When I feel really shitty, I sometimes like to appreciate the people who are working to make the rest of us feel just a little better, even in small, simple ways.

I've been dealing with some heavy weight for years, too. This is a process. Every step towards improvement will put you in a better place, no matter how much you doubt it or how bad you feel. The journey itself may become the reward, if you let it. Good luck.

 

[Dr.Guru of Peru]

Get help.

 

[pixelation]

Just got fired. called to see when I would work got a sat sun then ill let you go.

Dude what?, wrong thread?...

Anyways Cryptic... hold on, life is rarely easy/rarely fair, i've contemplated suicide quite a few times myself, i too have issues, i too dislike my life, i keep pushing everyone away... i don't know a lot, but i know that suicide is rarely if ever the answer, if i lived near you i'd come over and visit you to talk it out, hang out and maybe watch some movies and play games. I can't do that as i'm too far away, but i send you my best wishes and i hope that you find the strength to keep moving forward.

 

[Messofanego]

Sometimes we all got to write this kind of stuff down, and that process in itself can be cathartic. It can give you some perspective as you look back on the text. Some people use it as inspiration for their art. Novels, music, filmmaking, art, even videogames.

You've already succeeded by talking to the professionals and have sought for help. Many don't even write this stuff down and just die with no trace. All the things you found fun in life, would all just go away.

Here's a 30 second motivational pick-me-up by Matsuoka Shuzo:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxGRhd_iWuE

 

[gutshot]

Just got fired. called to see when I would work got a sat sun then ill let you go.

Normally having an alt is a bannable offense but hopefully the mods make an exception in this case...

Anyway, sorry to hear about your job. The important thing is to get help first. Then you can start looking for another job.

 

[Finaj]

1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Please call immediately

Seriously, get help.

 

[Winterfang]

Get Help OP!! This isn't your first thread like this. There's still time to turn it around.

 

[Chibits12]

I should be fine. thanks.
I talked to the police I'll talk to work and they'll probably have to let me go. Then I'll go to the hospital.
i hate medicine but they'll probably give me somethang.
Thanks evillore . I talked to the police.
Thanks everyone.
I'm too tired to answer everyone.
I read everything though.
I'll stop posting as I'm embarassed.
Bye for now.

Don't be embarrassed at all, just like the rest of us here, I'm glad you're doing ok. Please get help.

 

[GameGuru59]

Call the number OP and talk it through with someone. Life can feel like shit sometimes, but its important to focus on the future instead of dwelling on the past. There were times in my life where I saw no way to proceed, but you just gotta stay hungry and move forward, now I'm pretty damn happy with my life. It sounds like bullshit, but you can be anything you want to be. You just can't give up. You have to believe it as fact in your heart that you can continue to improve your condition- and you can. You just have to know it in yourself. You can do that. We all know you can.

 

[cryptic]

Wow. i just tried to get into the.concert I've been waiting to see all year and I was.denied since I don't have an ID on me. I think I'd rather die than keep going. this was all I had to look forward to.

 

[DrBo42]

Wow. i just tried to get into the.concert I've been waiting to see all year and I was.denied since I don't have an ID on me. I think I'd rather die than keep going. this was all I had to look forward to.

OP, come on buddy call the hotline. Get yourself right.

Edit: Didn't see progress was made on this front. Looks like you didn't go to the hospital... Please go now.

 

[Jeffolation]

Wow. i just tried to get into the.concert I've been waiting to see all year and I was.denied since I don't have an ID on me. I think I'd rather die than keep going. this was all I had to look forward to.

Who is playing?

 

[cryptic]

Manic street preachers:The Holy Bible.
I'm so fucking tired of hating every day.

 

[DrBo42]

Then make some positive changes that don't involve hurting yourself. Seek help immediately. That's step 1. You can do this.

 

[xxracerxx]

Please consider checking yourself into a hospital.

 

[cryptic]

I wish I had a knife there as I would have slit my wrists. I am not going to work or the hospital.
I have.nothing to look forward to, everything in my life always ends like this, it just.goes wrong.

 

[xxracerxx]

I wish I had a knife there as I would have slit my wrists. I am not going to work or the hospital.
I have.nothing to look forward to, everything in my life always ends like this, it just.goes wrong.

Reach out to that other Boston-GAFFER that wanted to chat in your other thread. I am sure he would come meet ya.

 

[Lactose_Intolerant]

call the police again

 

[DrBo42]

call the police again

Yeah, we need some help here.

 

[shadowkat]

Please call for help.

 

[akachan ningen]

It's just a concert. There will be more in the future.

 

[DECK'ARD]

I wish I had a knife there as I would have slit my wrists. I am not going to work or the hospital.
I have.nothing to look forward to, everything in my life always ends like this, it just.goes wrong.

Go to the hospital, your posts are cries for help and people here are reaching out to you but you need to reach out yourself.

There's nothing wrong with needing some help, you just need to let them.

You can do this, turn the disappointment of the concert into doing something positive for yourself.

 

[cryptic]

This is the only concert i would have wanted to see,remember I'm autistic. I get obsessed. please stop calling the police. if I had a gun I would have been dead long ago.

 

[littletran22]

1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Please call immediately

I will quote this again and again if I have to.

SEEK HELP. STOP POSTING HERE.

Life may be fucked up but you will still have chances to turn it around. YOU will always have a chance, please don't waste it by giving in despair.

 

[cryptic]

I'm going to try and see some of it. This is an example of the frantic rages I always get into.

 

[RPGCrazied]

Yeah, seek help. Talk to someone, even by phone. Get some hobbies, I have many, and it helps whenever I have a bout with depression. Glad I have them.

 

[DECK'ARD]

This is the only concert i would have wanted to see,remember I'm autistic. I get obsessed. please stop calling the police. if I had a gun I would have been dead long ago.

Vent as much as you want, no one likes to miss a concert. You must be gutted, they will tour again though.

This shit has happened, can't change tonight but you can make something positive out of it by finishing the plan you made before about going to the hospital.

Then you can say well I missed the concert, but at least I did that. It's a positive step.

I'm going to try and see some of it. This is an example of the frantic rages I always get into.

Just chill, so you can maybe get your ID and come back?

 

[littletran22]

I'm going to try and see some of it. This is an example of the frantic rages I always get into.

GOOD. As long as you take the first step, just stop posting and making threads like this... everyone is willing to help and support you but you have to engage yourself first. Keeping this up will only set yourself to further depression and dependency. This is not how we want your life to be!

 

[forknknife]

You seem to love music and music has helped me immensely in my life. Please, look into the things you like about life, I'm sure there are many more for you to discover that will make your life worth it. Start a band, go on a trip, join a gym and punch bricks... whatever but doing something like that.

 

[cryptic]

GOOD. As long as you take the first step, just stop posting and making threads like this... everyone is willing to help and support you but you have to engage yourself first. Keeping this up will only set yourself to further depression and dependency. This is not how we want your life to be!

i understand this completely.
I will never post another sad thread
I can be happy.

 

[Trojita]

Go to a hospital man.

 

[xxracerxx]

i understand this completely.
I will never post another sad thread
I can be happy.

Dude, I know you don't want to but go check yourself into a hospital. It is the best course of action.

 

[BPoole]

Nobody here can help you. Seek a professional that can address your needs

 

[ahoyhoy]

I'm sincerely hoping you find some kind of help out there, OP. Your original post is sad and beautiful. Suicide would be denying yourself and others your concise yet powerful style.

Keep fighting and keep writing.

 

[Bit-Bit]

OP, if you live in Jacksonville, FL then PM me and we can hang out. Play some video games or whatever. Sounds to me like you need a friend more than anything.

 

[Insane Metal]

I understand you, OP. I really do. Please seek professional help. Not just anyone. Try to find actual GOOD professionals. It can make a huge difference in your life.

 

[HeelPower]

You know what,thank you for posting this.

I read all of it ,and now I feel a bit better about my own loneliness and pathetic personal condition.

Also,your writing style is great.I could relate to everything you wrote through your valuable post and clear,emotional diction.

At least we can all offer some help and share our pains on this platform,to some degree.

 

[dluu13]

You know what,thank you for posting this.

I read all of it ,and now I feel a bit better about my own loneliness and pathetic personal condition.

Also,your writing style is great.I could relate to everything you wrote through your valuable post and clear,emotional diction.

At least we can all offer some help and share our pains on this platform,to some degree.

I agree with the comment about your writing. I always enjoy reading cryptic's posts because of his writing style.