Ninja Of Chaos
Member
You should write and try and get it published.
Haha.
I was a bit frantic when I wrote that, so I wasn't really thinking of how it would appear to others and that makes sense.
i saw the concert, my ears hurt. Everything was awesome. I realized afterwards how unhealthy it is to space your life around desired events as they can go wrong.
I have to figure out how to accept the things i do as an unconventional happiness that I shouldn't belittle as it doesn't match others views.
Problem is I don't like it as much as what I once knew, but I suppose I'm just getting old and have to start liking new things.
So I don't belong and I still have to help;it kind of makes it hard to say thank-you.How do I not reject others when I can't be the same?
I'm really tired.
I want friends, I want movies, talks and walks, but what can I give back?how am I supposed to be happy again when everything is so fragile?I can't keep knowingly smiling at innocent things.
I'm so tired. Hopefully I'll finish editing my first book soon.
guess what,it sucks, it makes no fucking sense.and is very robotic and emotionally stilted.
I guess I have to call it an autistic novel even though I.don't wanna.
I.just wanna say, look at me, both I.need help and nothing can be.done
.
It says that I think.
Hope I can sleep.
I wish I had a knife there as I would have slit my wrists. I am not going to work or the hospital.
I have.nothing to look forward to, everything in my life always ends like this, it just.goes wrong.
This is the only concert i would have wanted to see,remember I'm autistic. I get obsessed. please stop calling the police. if I had a gun I would have been dead long ago.
i understand this completely.
I will never post another sad thread
I can be happy.