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Indiana Jones & The Dial of Destiny

Happosai

Hold onto your panties
They can turn it into Indie's young kid going on Disney Channel Adventures on Disney+. All about fighting modern day patriarchy and "bigotry", punching "nazis".

Disney can always make something worse.
And they will. Surprised we didn't get a CG faceswap of young Ford as a cameo. They can't even leave dead actors be.

I doubt you'll have Indy fighting the cause. But these costars...just wait. Has Disney ever not done this?
 

EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Staff Member


lUeo5GQ.gif


*whispers in French disgust*
 

FunkMiller

Member
Not exactly a good start on RT for this one... Only eight review though, so still time for all the shills honest reviewers to get the score up.
 
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FunkMiller

Member
Empire review:



It doesn’t escape the sometimes-wobbly politics that the series has sometimes been accused of; the return of John Rhys-Davies, a white Welshman, as the Egyptian character Sallah, feels a needlessly thoughtless choice in 2023

This is it now, isn't it? Every film must be analysed through the prism of identity politics. Every review must go out of its way to criticise something that nobody outside an intellectual, left wing bubble could care less about.

And apparently the movie's climax makes the one at the end of Crystal Skull feel subtle...

A film that Empire gave four stars to, as well.
 
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Aurelius

Member
Empire review:





This is it now, isn't it? Every film must be analysed through the prism of identity politics. Every review must go out of its way to criticise something that nobody outside an intellectual, left wing bubble could care less about.

And apparently the movie's climax makes the one at the end of Crystal Skull feel subtle...

A film that Empire gave four stars to, as well.

They gave Crystal Skull 4 stars too. And that quote about John Rys-Davies is pathetic. But I guess they are totally depending on Disney for early access, so they cannot afford to upset the Mouse too much.
 

FunkMiller

Member
From the bulk of the reviews out so far, it seems that this movie is everything I thought it would be: safe, boring, and lifeless - with some terrible CGI, a by-the-numbers plot, and absolutely zero creative flair or any chances being taken.

Thanks Disney.

Truly.

I feel sad for anyone who got their hopes up for this film. But Disney has a formula, and it was wrong to think this would turn out any different.
 
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EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Staff Member
This is it now, isn't it? Every film must be analysed through the prism of identity politics. Every review must go out of its way to criticise something that nobody outside an intellectual, left wing bubble could care less about.

And apparently the movie's climax makes the one at the end of Crystal Skull feel subtle...

A film that Empire gave four stars to, as well.
I was googling earlier and this popped up:


Thousands of words to inform us that a character set almost 100 years ago fails to meet the moral standards of the modern era. That's the point...

Listen to these morons at your own peril if you're trying to do anything creative. The only way to please them is by completely sanitizing any humanity from your work.
 

bitbydeath

Member
Empire review:





This is it now, isn't it? Every film must be analysed through the prism of identity politics. Every review must go out of its way to criticise something that nobody outside an intellectual, left wing bubble could care less about.

And apparently the movie's climax makes the one at the end of Crystal Skull feel subtle...

A film that Empire gave four stars to, as well.

The morally bankrupt sell out to whomever is the loudest because they know that’ll get them more clicks and be talked about.
 

FunkMiller

Member
I was googling earlier and this popped up:


Thousands of words to inform us that a character set almost 100 years ago fails to meet the moral standards of the modern era. That's the point...

Listen to these morons at your own peril if you're trying to do anything creative. The only way to please them is by completely sanitizing any humanity from your work.

The current political climate is absolutely the death of creativity... and Disney are permanently targeting the audience responsible for it. Nothing original, exciting or different can be tried, because it might offend someone with a few thousand Twitter followers.

I'm hoping and praying they get punished for this approach, as they are pandering to a very small, authoritarian minority. The problem is, most of them are part of that minority. And the rest of us have to put up with safe, non-threatening garbage. Or, in my case, not put up with it, because Disney ain't getting another penny of my money.
 

SJRB

Gold Member
Can't say it feels good seeing a childhood hero being reduced to a checkbox-filled, ThE MeSsAgE-appropriate unimaginative snoozefest.

I feel bad for Harrison Ford, but in fairness he never should've accepted. Also tough luck for Mads and Boyd Holbrook.
 

jason10mm

Gold Member
If the rumors are true, they significantly cut down Phoebe's talking down to Indy in the final cut coz test audiences didn't like her. :messenger_winking_tongue:
See, stuff like that is acceptable, Ford (and by extension, Indy) IS an old fogie out of time. It's natural for his values to clash with some 30-something.

HOWEVER, in an INDY film, he should never STAY the butt of the joke. His "old ways" need to be proven correct, her "new fangled feminist cynicism" or whatever has to come up short at the end, and there needs to be a give and take if thats the route they want to go. This is the key part modern writers always seem to forget, you CAN dog the establishment, but if you want "the establishment" to show up and give you money, you gotta respect them in equal measure.

An edgy indie film can get away with being completely rebellious and surly because the audience for that project is never gonna be more than 5% of the audience until, in time, it becomes the mainstream (or not).

I was 100% behind seeing this film with my kid. He is ambivalent on it but we rode the Indy ride at Disneyland together and he has seen parts of the previous Indy films and I suspect this film, much like Crystal Skull, is more child friendly than the first 3. I'm starting to have second thoughts though, if this film is actually mediocre (and I would put KotCS above mediocre but a distinct drop from the others) then maybe I will skip an Indy film in the theater for the first time possible (I was too young for Raiders, but caught Temple). Probably gonna be too hard to sort it out and I'll just go, but this definitely does not smell like the rollicking fun adventure I was hoping for.
 

Billbofet

Member
I feel like it may be especially bad since early access reviews of even shit movies are almost always positive. Not here, unfortunately.
From the few reviews I read, the takeaway is that it's just plain boring and unnecessary.
 
Dont care. Harrison Ford has enough charm to carry even an average movie. I liked all Indiana Jones, yes all of them. They're on DIsney+ now and I'm prolly gonna rewatch them
 

AJUMP23

Parody of actual AJUMP23
It doesn’t escape the sometimes-wobbly politics that the series has sometimes been accused of; the return of John Rhys-Davies, a white Welshman, as the Egyptian character Sallah, feels a needlessly thoughtless choice in 2023



Whoever wrote that is probably mad he is 6'5" and played a Dwarf in LotR.

JRD is a great actor and I love it when he is an anything. From Video games to TV shows. Sallah is a great character.
 

SJRB

Gold Member
Very sad to see racist, sexist, alt right professional reviewer trolls review bombing this film. We need to do better and Rotten Tomatoes needs to remove their scores and blacklist them immediately. Disney also needs to make a statement denouncing them.

tXvcLj0.png

Yeah you can see the “if you dislike this movie you’re a sexist” rhetoric coming from a mile away.
 

jason10mm

Gold Member
Whoever wrote that is probably mad he is 6'5" and played a Dwarf in LotR.

JRD is a great actor and I love it when he is an anything. From Video games to TV shows. Sallah is a great character.
I'm sure that same reviewer has a glowing opinion of the Cleopatra "Documentary" :p

As if folks of more european descent NEVER existed in Egypt and actors can't.......act for a part?

I'm sure this reviewer is LIVID that an Irish lass played an Austrian archeologist, a Vietnamese actor played a Chinese kid, and an englishman played a French archeologist. Surely this reviewer makes geographic and racial distinctions for ALL actors....right? RIGHT???
 

Dr. Claus

Banned
I am part of this generation of creators, so what is it that makes them want toa ctively kill and ruin every beloved franchise?

Terminator? He is outclassed by a strong female human-terminator hybrid that looks like she is about to cry at all times.
Star Wars? Insult every last male character while treating Carrie Fisher like a literal jesus allegory (Hey, I like Fisher and wanted her in a more prominent role, but come the fuck on).
Ghostbusters? Men are bad so let's have an all women cast instead while shitting on/dismissing the originals. (Though to be fair, they did rectify that with Afterlife which was legit fantastic).
Lord of the Rings? Make Elrond a beta ass bitch and Galadriel some doey-eyed warrior and the hobbits literal fucking nightmares.

I know many my generation grew up and fell in love with these films, with these franchises - so why are they so adamant about running them into the fucking ground.
 
I think he is referring to the Rings of Power show. Compare movie Elrond to show Elrond and he is waaaaaaaay more passive and chill.

RoP could really use some Agent Smith energy.
Didn't see the show. Can't believe that they did this. Hugo Weawing was perfect. Why would they butcher his character?
 

Melon Husk

Member
Another Cannes review:

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny review: 'Gloomy and depressing' final act​

Harrison Ford and Phoebe Waller-Bridge can't lift a film that is "a depressing reminder of how much livelier his past adventures were", writes Nicholas Barber
it's like fan fiction, a tie-in video game, or a branded theme-park ride, in that it's content to tick off everything you've seen in other Indiana Jones films already, but with little of Spielberg's sparkle.
it does all this in an even gloomier fashion than The Force Awakens did. I'm not sure how many fans want to see Indiana Jones as a broken, helpless old man who cowers in the corner while his patronising goddaughter takes the lead, but that's what we're given, and it's as bleak as it sounds.
★★☆☆☆

Yikes y'all
 

Darkmakaimura

Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Another Cannes review:

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny review: 'Gloomy and depressing' final act​

Harrison Ford and Phoebe Waller-Bridge can't lift a film that is "a depressing reminder of how much livelier his past adventures were", writes Nicholas Barber


★★☆☆☆

Yikes y'all

I'm not sure how many fans want to see Indiana Jones as a broken, helpless old man who cowers in the corner while his patronising goddaughter takes the lead, but that's what we're given, and it's as bleak as it sounds.

Oh damn that last part makes the rumors about this film seem more legit.
 
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thefool

Member
Why is the color grading so extreme? Why does it have to look so "digital"?

Because a ton of stuff in every shot ends up being digital retouched. A plague of modern cinema, even Scorsese Flowers of the Moon seems plagued by it. Post-prod dominance over actual set production.
 

kunonabi

Member
Oh damn that last part makes the rumors about this film seem more legit.
I mean she's been at the forefront of a lot of the marketing material so it shouldn't be a surprise at this point. I don't think the crazier rumors are going to pan out but I'm sure the basic gist of the film trying to pass the torch to her is still going to be the goal.
 

IDKFA

I am Become Bilbo Baggins
Another Cannes review:

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny review: 'Gloomy and depressing' final act​

Harrison Ford and Phoebe Waller-Bridge can't lift a film that is "a depressing reminder of how much livelier his past adventures were", writes Nicholas Barber


★★☆☆☆

Yikes y'all

"I'm not sure how many fans want to see Indiana Jones as a broken, helpless old man who cowers in the corner while his patronising goddaughter takes the lead, but that's what we're given, and it's as bleak as it sounds."

Damn. I think most of us had our doubts this would live up to the original trilogy, but that review makes it sound worse than Crystal Skull.
 

Darkmakaimura

Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Damn. I think most of us had our doubts this would live up to the original trilogy, but that review makes it sound worse than Crystal Skull.
I was actually looking forward to this film but after reading that, it sounds a lot worse than I ever expected.

This generation of creators is just bent on destroying all these old franchises with their ideologies.
 
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