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[freenudemacusers]

You haven't lived til you've scrubbed another man's stinky privates, the smell is unavoidable. I should have stuck to being a postman.

haha, my uncle is a nurse, he has told me many a tale of old man balls and unfortunately timed ejaculations.

 

[FStop7]

The key is subtlety.

First, make this comic her desktop background.

Next, slip into this one night before she gets home.

 

[i-Lo]

Start going down on her on a regular basis and be creative. Sooner or later, she should reciprocate.

 

[Devolution]

You haven't lived til you've scrubbed another man's stinky privates, the smell is unavoidable. I should have stuck to being a postman.

Imagine being a woman, our sense of smell is even more acute.

 

[PJV3]

The key is subtlety.

First, make this comic her desktop background.

Next, slip into this one night before she gets home.

This is so crazy it might just work, confusion oral.

 

[Jinfash]

haha, my uncle is a nurse, he has told me many a tale of old man balls and unfortunately timed ejaculations.

MmmHmmm that fishy smell, let me tell you.

 

[bjb]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=508030

Could have mentioned her OCD and such in this OP.

yo....

You gotta learn at some point to have some respect for yourself and just bail out - start over.

 

[Mudkips]

Whipped cream on the penis.

 

[PJV3]

Imagine being a woman, our sense of smell is even more acute.

If a man presented something that smelly to you and expected sex, he needs committing.

 

[ConradCervantes]

Am I ever glad I have the freedom to ask for head without my gf giving me the stink eye. That whole life partner thing means barriers of communication should be lowered, no?

 

[davepoobond]

Why bother? Sex is gross and humans are gross. Get a hobby and jerk it in the bathroom instead.

 

[POWERSPHERE]

Tell her you know she's cheating on you and she's gotta suck herself to freedom. Either she'll like feeling naughty or she will be guilty and need to suck herself to freedom.

 

[Dereck]

Get her to watch Star Trek TNG first.

Cold

 

[Tdog987]

This is what scares me about marriages...sexless marriages

 

[Live Free or Die]

Take her to see a broadway musical.

http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s15e11-broadway-bro-down

 

[akira28]

Next, slip into this one night before she gets home.

I was in a charity bike ride and we had a person in an eagle fursuit. Just there. I guess he/she had something to do with the event.

Now I kinda want one...looked like fun. I just wanted to...touch it.

 

[Cooter]

This is what scares me about marriages...sexless marriages

The absence of sex is just a manifestation of other larger issues.

 

[MoonsaultSlayer]

She doesn't automatically do it as pre-lube for sex? And you guys don't make oral trades? "I do, you do".

 

[LowEndTorque]

Tell her that she's amazing at it and whenever she does it, it drives you crazy and blows your mind. Shortly after making that statement offer to help her with washing dishes or laundry and you're good to go.

 

[PJV3]

This is what scares me about marriages...sexless marriages

it's easy to spice up, swinging, dogging, escorts etc.

 

[OverHeat]

get a mistress. problem solved.

You win this thread, suck it or someone else will.

 

[grimshawish]

Start going down on her on a regular basis and be creative. Sooner or later, she should reciprocate.

Pretty much. Why 69in exists. Mutually assured pleasure.

 

[Shadybiz]

That sucks (heh). My wife does it all the time, no request required. I do the same, of course.

 

[Riggs]

You win this thread, suck it or someone else will.

.

 

[I love Kitties]

That sucks (heh). My wife does it all the time, no request required. I do the same, of course.

I'm his wife. I concur. How else do you keep the flame going. You love each other, right?

 

[FatalT]

How about you go down on her and then tell her to reciprocate. If she doesn't then enjoy your shitty sex life and marriage.

Some people's sex drive goes down as they age, there's not really much you can do about it.
Sure, she could give you pity blowjobs, but do you really want something from another person if she's not really into it?

Viagra? For the second part, who gives a shit. You're getting a blowjob. Fuck.

 

[FatalT]

D-d-d-d-d-dooouuuble post penetration.

 

[entremet]

I'm a married guy-been married 9 years. When my wife and I first met, like many people I'm sure, things were pretty wild.

Fast forward to today, and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. There's never a way to request this without her being offended. But if I don't ask it will never happen.

Anyone able to successfully request this without coming across as desperate or disgusting to your wife/SO?

If you want to get, give.

 

[ElectricBlanketFire]

You have to ASK your WIFE for ORAL?!?!

Man. That sucks (not literally of course).

 

[B-Dubs]

The key is subtlety.

First, make this comic her desktop background.

Next, slip into this one night before she gets home.

That's so crazy it just might work!

 

[Jinfash]

Chris Rock - "... half the women in here are grossed out.. and the other half are in loving relationships!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGmbZ4NortM

While that was a cute video, this is the most relevant Chris Rock clip to this thread. Take heed, OP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIv4phFcAAs

 

[Rhomega Beta]

THE jim.

?

 

[Izayoi]

While that was a cute video, this is the most relevant Chris Rock clip to this thread. Take heed, OP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIv4phFcAAs

Sure you don't mean... take head?

 

[Chance Hale]

Next, slip into this one night before she gets home.

I don't see a pouch though, will she have to de-fin him as well? Seems like too much work on top of the issues.

 

[PJV3]

?

Oh, That Jim.
Makes sense now, he looks like a man who is sucked off regularly.

 

[Terrordactyl]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahh


Maybe that works in Romantic Movie Land, but not in the real world.

Stop right there. I've been married for almost 8 years, and it works this way for me, if you cant communicate about a blowjob I fear for what other actual difficult conversations you aren't communicating about.

 

[bangai-o]

Some people's sex drive goes down as they age, there's not really much you can do about it.
Sure, she could give you pity blowjobs, but do you really want something from another person if she's not really into it?

Or:
http://i.minus.com/ibgntoaXN5U2fw.gif/IMG][/QUOTE]

whats this?

 

[blame space]

imagine what it's like to be a hot chick

 

[SquiddyCracker]

whats this?

Pity blowjob?
It's a pitiful blowjob, given out of pity.

 

[ToxicAdam]

Try bartering. Tell you will trade a full body massage for a oral.

Or just randomly give her full body messages without asking for anything in return. Then on the third one, bring it up.

 

[Alcotholic]

Give her some and she'll more likely return the favor.

 

[Pau]

Not enough suggestions for romantic oral requests.

Hmm. "Love, would you like to have breakfast in bed?" is the best I've got.

 

[Charlie McCarthy]

Pay a pro.

Truth is if she doesn't like it, its not going to be any good anyway. A good pro will give you 'porno' head.

 

[ToxicAdam]

Saddest Handjob in the World

 

[triplestation]

light a candle and put your dick next to it and say baby please suck my dick

 

[blame space]

this is thread title of the year

 

[childplease]

Whip it out, then look her in the eye and start slapping your tongue side to side on the sides of your mouth.

She will get the point and the sheer sexiness of you twirling your tongue around will ensure you get some domesky.

 

[BrightEyedPanic]

light a candle and put your dick next to it and say baby please suck my dick

light your dick like a candle and say "baby, please put it out. with your mouth. pls?"


Also...like 80% of the suggestions in this thread would work for me.

 

[blame space]

i think we all need to take a step back and realize that the louis ck handjob clip was immediately before a divorce took place.

 

[FStop7]

There's also the Sean Connery method http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX8Qqu_WBIc