Is there ever a romantic way to request oral?

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I haven't read the entire thread, but the correct answer is to get the two of you drunk one night. Probably a wine night, or at some new bar that opened. Remind her how sexy she is, surprise her with a thoughtful gift. And once you're both hot and heavy, lay her on your spaceship and show her the town.
 
EleventhDoctor said:
Sure-but only when SHE'S in the mood. That's the problem. It's like waiting around for a full moon so she can turn into a werewolf. What am I supposed to do the other 29 days of the month.

If she's not interested in sex, she doesn't give me oral "just because". That's the problem.
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So basically the problem is that she only wants to have sex when she actually wants to have sex? You do not have a problem here, you're just being a bit demanding and kind of a jerk. Trust me, I've been in a relationship for the past 14 years and while our sex drives could certainly stand to be a more compatible if she isn't in the mood it stands to reason that she, y'know, isn't in the mood. It's an asshole move to claim that she should blow you as a result. It would be like saying that even though she isn't hungry she should still cook dinner for you. Some people are fine with that and more power to them, but it's perfectly understandable that the majority wouldn't be.
 
worldrevolution said:
It's obvious not everyone's relationship will be like the op's. But there are plenty of married guys who have experienced what the op has. There are also plenty of married couples who have sex 40x a day for 30 years. That's great, but their advice won't work for op. It's not the universal type of advice he needs.
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You are correct, there are plenty of guys in sexually dysfunctional marriages. If your spouse is not interested in sex outside of pity/obligation sex once or twice a month (or less), there is a problem with your relationship. Lots of people just ignore the problem instead of honestly talking about it (with *both* partners being honest) and stay in an unhealthy and usually unhappy relationship until they get divorced or die.

The advice to get in shape and take care of yourself was a good place to start. Lots of times one or both partners in a relationship lose attraction to each other but don't have the courage to say it or don't want to hurt each-others feelings. Being more sexually attractive to your wife is probably the first step to reigniting her sex drive if she's not willing or able to talk about why she isn't interested in sex anymore.
 
SquiddyCracker said:
I want to see a study on the effect marriage has on sex drive (with factors such as children, financial status, and such controlled for).
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Marriage isn't what kills sexual interest, time and repetition do. You can counter the effects of time and repetition, but only if you're willing to communicate and acknowledge problems.
 
The complacent, mediocre, monogamous lifestyle seems so fucking disastrous to me. I don't think I'll ever understand it or want that ever when it comes to the point where you aren't satisfied. Why do people fight to keep a struggling relationship afloat, half the planet is out there waiting for you. And if you're bisexual it's everyone.
 
Angry Fork said:
The complacent, mediocre, monogamous lifestyle seems so fucking disastrous to me. I don't think I'll ever understand it or want that ever when it comes to the point where you aren't satisfied. Why do people fight to keep a struggling relationship afloat, half the planet is out there waiting for you. And if you're bisexual it's everyone.
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Unless they are asexual or unable to perform due to a horrible mechanical bull snafu.
 
Cover your nether regions in whipped cream and/or chocolate sauce.

That's the way to make a request of it, but cleanup's unpleasant if she turns down the offer.
 
commedieu said:
Dude. Stop posting on gaf. You should talk to her about this. Get to why she is offended, as others have said. Women aren't here for us to just toss our cocks in. There is a reason behind all of this, and the solution isn't tricking her to blow you.

If you can't have this conversation with the love of your lIfe, gaf can't help.
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Yeah, this.

Also, this obviously is a troll thread. All the elements are here. Daring OP, people asking a bunch of details, OP ignores it all and post vague one-line shit and then do nothing to explain or clarify the situation.

Also, 9 fucking years married. Looks like OP is a big boy that never grew up. Are you part of the adult world? Come the fuck on.
 
I'm never getting married and I'm never having children. Thanks OP.

It seems dumb but... just talk to her about it.
 
commedieu said:
You guys have problems. And you are unhappyn with your sex life. Which will show up in other ways. Mannerisims, behavior, attitude.

8 year relationship I had was full of fucking, sloppy blow jobs, and pissing on eachoter in the shower. Can't "real world" people. You guys need to have an adult conversation about your sex life.
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Nailed it.
 
"I love the way you look at me with those sparkling eyes when you do it, and your hot wet mouth feels amazing on my schlong.

Plus, I'll take the bins out."
 
Never had a problem, if I want it done (whether to finish or not) she, like myself considers it part of foreplay ........ sometimes I will just let her work on it for awhile before fucking or will blow my load and then we can fuck for good long time (if she is in the mood for that).

Past two relationships, oral was considered part of the menu for sex for us both ............. only difference was one was a spitter and one swallowed.

Anal is on the list as well, although that is a sometimes thing.


Just talk about it, be open and frank when it comes to your sex life ..... no point in being shy or awkward about it.
 
It's all in the timing. You have much more chance of it happening if you ask(or just state you want it) in the heat of the moment. The minute you begin bargaining for it, you've lost the game.
 
EleventhDoctor said:
I'm a married guy-been married 9 years. When my wife and I first met, like many people I'm sure, things were pretty wild.

Fast forward to today, and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. There's never a way to request this without her being offended. But if I don't ask it will never happen.

Anyone able to successfully request this without coming across as desperate or disgusting to your wife/SO?
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Dude. Duuuuuuuuuude. I don't know what to say man. It shouldn't be like that.
 
SmokyDave said:
Dude. Duuuuuuuuuude. I don't know what to say man. It shouldn't be like that.
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Ha-you know I went back and re read and I totally worded the situation worse than it is (Goes along with me being horrible at communication), but its all good. It's not as bad as it sounds, but the thread has been hilarious. I love the humorous responses.
 
Erm.. you shouldn't ever have to ask, she should be the one that tears of your jeans to pleasure you. Pleasuring your love shouldn't be an obligation but a treat.
 
Belgand said:
So basically the problem is that she only wants to have sex when she actually wants to have sex? You do not have a problem here, you're just being a bit demanding and kind of a jerk. Trust me, I've been in a relationship for the past 14 years and while our sex drives could certainly stand to be a more compatible if she isn't in the mood it stands to reason that she, y'know, isn't in the mood. It's an asshole move to claim that she should blow you as a result. It would be like saying that even though she isn't hungry she should still cook dinner for you. Some people are fine with that and more power to them, but it's perfectly understandable that the majority wouldn't be.
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If she does only want to have sex very infrequently, and he wants it more often that is a problem for the relationship, for the both of them. It is not just him being demanding. It depends on the frequency of sex and the disparity between their drives.
 
Mister Wilhelm said:
Romantically? That's your problem right there, sad sack.

My advice to you is to man up, hit the gym, and ignore sex. Get in the best shape of your life. Come home sweaty in tight shirts, casually undress in front of your wife, tease her with your body.

She'll take the bait. But when she does, that's when you bust out the rope and handcuffs and dominate her like she never knew she wanted. Make her beg for things, call her names, etc.

I guarantee you if you put the effort in to be more desirable and show personal development, she'll want you more than if you try to ask politely like some pussy-starved husk of an emotionally emaciated boy.
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THIS.
 
Uni on Everything! said:
If she thinks you're desperate or disgusting for asking for a blow job you've got bigger issues to deal with IMO.
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Yeah, gonna go with this.

Been married 7 + years now and while I can't go asking for it every day, when I do it's just a matter of timing it. Lotta times I don't really have to ask, though. Think you guys need to have some serious dialogue about this stuff. There should be as much giving, if not more as there is asking.
 
My BF during our gaming sessions or just hanging out would say stuff like "suck it" every once in a while. It got annoying to the point where I ended up giving him oral at least once every week just so he'd stop saying it...

Dunno if that'd work for you though
 
EleventhDoctor said:
Again I want to clarify that the issue here isn't sex overall-that's fine. But sometimes my wife won't be in the mood for a few days, and like Louis CK says, you just need to open the valve. And if she's not in the mood for sex, it's like everything is off the table. Sorry if it came across earlier like I'm living like a monk.
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Hey, I haven't read the full thread but here's my two cents. I don't know your specific position and I've never been married but from my experience all you need to do is turn them on and they'll do whatever you want. Again, you probably tried this already and it either didn't work because she just didn't want it at the moment and that shit happens, or you're not doing the turning on well enough. But hey, you've been with her for 9 years, you should know her like the back of your hand by now so you should know what turns her on.
 
EleventhDoctor said:
I'm a married guy-been married 9 years. When my wife and I first met, like many people I'm sure, things were pretty wild.

Fast forward to today, and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. There's never a way to request this without her being offended. But if I don't ask it will never happen.

Anyone able to successfully request this without coming across as desperate or disgusting to your wife/SO?
Click to expand...
Offended for pleasuring her man?

She sounds kinda horrible, assuming you do everything that you can to please her.
 
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