Or the correct banner for the true Nintendo fans out there:
Kingdom Hearts 3D
Platform: 3DS
Release Date: JP - 3/29/12, US - TBA 2012, Europe - Summer 2012.
Genre: - Best Game Ever
After so many, many years of anticipated waiting, an almost forgotten franchise is revived, as the next explosive entry in the Kingdom Hearts franchise ships to stores near you. With beautiful graphics full of three dimensional pixels, amazing fonts and sound colors that let you see and hear the world in 3D; that's right, Kingdom Hearts 3D is the FIRST Kingdom Hearts that breaks the two dimensional barrier that's held gamers back for so many decades, as they played games in a sad state disconnected from the three dimensional world around them; Kingdom Hearts 3D takes you to the next level of being, a being of the 3rd dimension. If there is only one game that you spend your hard earned money on, Kingdom Hearts 3D is it! And make sure to save just a little more to make up for that Square Enix tax, because without additional taxes, Square Enix would fall into anarchy and great games like Kingdom Hearts 3D would never be made.
Wait, what's that?
Jeff Bridges does not approve of this paid-for-along-with-review-score OT?
But Mr. Bridges, did you know that for ever copy sold of this game, you get a royalty check?
A royalty check you say?
Not only that, but every child that grows up in today's society will get to spend time with a digital version of you, and come to know you as the father they never had. Just take a look at this:
Look at those subtitles! They're not even in English! Kids all around the world will look up to you!
Your in-game image could even begin a new era of distinguished bearded looks in society. Imagine a little child, going to the barber and asking for a "Jeff Bridges Beard". All because he played Kingdom Hearts 3D.
Think about it. This could be the beginning of the flood of Jeff Bridges themed videogames. Blown Away the videogame! Perfect for this era of Call of Duty gamers. The Fisher King! Already sounds like a Doublefine game. Kingdom Hearts 3D will be what starts it all, the Jeff Bridges videogame movement.
So what do you say?
Kingdom Hearts 3D
JEFF BRIDGES APPROVED