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[Mineshaft_Gap]

My boyfriend and I rarely fight. I don't usually ever give him the silent treatment or say "nothing" when there's something.

The rare exception is if he's done something that's hurt my feelings and knows it, but is asking anyway. If you did/said something shitty and I'm having a negative reaction towards it you probably know what you said. So when you ask it just makes angry.

Sometimes I just want to talk about my problems or vent, but I'm not necessarily seeking help in fixing it. I just want to talk to someone. I think guys have a thing where whenever they see a "problem" they feel it's their duty to try to fix it. Sometimes that's helpful but other times that's not really what I need.

 

[todayzee]

It's not usually about torturing you, sometimes it's being frustrated at the fact that we're upset about something so inconsequential and minute in the first place. Sometimes I'm just having one of those days, and I know I shouldn't be taken seriously. So I say nothing because I know I'm being silly and I won't give a shit tomorrow.

This. I get very frustrated when the fellah assumes my grumpy mood is about him. Then step two in the mystery of the mysterious female frustration* is that if we do tell you most guys always go to the very logical, well-intentioned Mr. Fix It mode where you try to helpfully offer things like:

• Perspective
• Possible causes for the trouble
• Possible solutions
• Suggestions on ways not to make the same mistake/encounter the issue ever again

When all we really want is:

1. Sympathy
2. Compassion
3. Backrub and bubble bath

xxoo

 

[Brian Griffin]

Sometimes I just want to talk about my problems or vent, but I'm not necessarily seeking help in fixing it. I just want to talk to someone. I think guys have a thing where whenever they see a "problem" they feel it's their duty to try to fix it. Sometimes that's helpful but other times that's not really what I need.

Most men are problem solvers by nature so that's the first place we go when women start talking about their problems. This is something that men AND women need to understand because it can cause a lot of communication issues.

Men need to understand the women just want to talk sometimes but women need to understand that we aren't all built to hear about problems without thinking of ways to fix them and it can be very frustrating to hear.

 

[nib95]

Ok Lady GAF, I have a question for you. How long in to dating a guy do you have to be before starting to get upset he hasn't told you he loves you yet?

Similarly, how long do you wait for him to commit to marriage, if you love him dearly and want to get married asap, but whilst he loves you, is showing a reluctance and fear to the meagre notion of it. How long is too long?

Thanks ladies! X

 

[shanshan310]

My name always seems to attract attention.

But when you have a society less hell bent on what exactly a man is, you have men open up slightly more then what you have in westernized countries.

To be honest I think the society where it is most acceptable for men to be open about their emotions is the west.

Ok Lady GAF, I have a question for you. How long in to dating a guy do you have to be before starting to get upset he hasn't told you he loves you yet?

I think it really depends on the relationship, and how you actually feel. If she says it first, you'll know that then is a good time. For my bf and I it must have been somewhere around the 4 - 6 month mark, which is probably getting on the long side of things, but don't be one of those couples who starts saying it the minute you're dating - especially in public. It makes break ups that more embarrassing. I have enough girls like that on my facebook to have seen it happen once a month or so -_-

This. I get very frustrated when the fellah assumes my grumpy mood is about him. Then step two in the mystery of the mysterious female frustration* is that if we do tell you most guys always go to the very logical, well-intentioned Mr. Fix It mode where you try to helpfully offer things.
xxoo

On a related note, most guys tend to think a problem always needs an answer, when usually the girl just wants someone to listen.


What do you guys think about PDA? My bf is kinda... well, he doesn't mind holding hands. but he generally won't kiss or hold me in public, especially if friends are around.

 

[yarden24]

I'm 5.7/5.8 and I don't even have to try my game with girls that are taller than 5.4/5.5 or whatever. Really reduces the market.
There is one cool thing about girls that don't care though, usually they have a high confidence and follow their own path (career etc.).

this isnt true, I know plenty of guys who were with girls taller then them.
im 5.8 as well, and anything up too my height is fine, taller then me does bother me though.

 

[TheKyle07]

Sure. You're a good-looking guy.

Just get rid of the moustache. It makes you kinda weasely. You can leave the rest of the stubble, I guess. I feel you have too much hair poofing up in these pics, making your head look disproportionate in shape. And your expressions are kinda smarmy. Not all ladies like that. xD

I need more opinions about this guys moustache. Is stubble with no 'stache really a preferable look here?

Spoiler

(I certainly don't think so).

 

[shanshan310]

I need more opinions about this guys moustache. Is stubble with no 'stache really a preferable look here?

Spoiler

(I certainly don't think so).

I didn't notice the moustache so...

 

[Chinner]

Chinner you got a shout out from Zelda Williams, how does that not contribute to happiness?

getting a shout-out from a minor celebrity surprisingly doesn't give meaning to my life!

 

[cloudwalking]

brandnew you should be swimming in pussy man. when are you coming to switzerland, we'll hit up some clubs and get you laid!

I don't know what to say about you, man. It's like you have a compulsion that makes you feel like you have to pop into every thread and post something, regardless of whether or not it's garbage. Spoiler alert!

Spoiler

Your posts are garbage.

I think I've seen you use a capital letter once, but it might have just been a couple of dead pixels on my monitor.

ice burn!

 

[CrudeDiatribe]

What do you guys think about PDA? My bf is kinda... well, he doesn't mind holding hands. but he generally won't kiss or hold me in public, especially if friends are around.

It's great! Not full-on make-outs or unsubtle feel-copping, of course. The disadvantage is that people tell you you're a 'cute' couple: stab stab stab.

 

[VGChampion]

Similarly, how long do you wait for him to commit to marriage, if you love him dearly and want to get married asap, but whilst he loves you, is showing a reluctance and fear to the meagre notion of it. How long is too long?

I'm not a lady but I really don't think there is a too long. There's an aunt in my family who never married but has been with her boyfriend my entire life and they're as happy as anyone I know. My friend has been with her boyfriend for six years and is getting married next year. On the other hand, I have a cousin who met her boyfriend and married her within a year so it's all really down to you two.

I'm just taking a huge guess though but if you were born in 1995 I'd say don't rush into marriage.

 

[BladeWorker]

Ok Lady GAF, I have a question for you. How long in to dating a guy do you have to be before starting to get upset he hasn't told you he loves you yet?

Similarly, how long do you wait for him to commit to marriage, if you love him dearly and want to get married asap, but whilst he loves you, is showing a reluctance and fear to the meagre notion of it. How long is too long?

Thanks ladies! X

Different for every girl. What's important is that each communicates how they feel about one another when they feel it. Bottling things up doesn't do a body good.

If you two have dealbreaker deadlines, ultimately that will matter more than whether or not you care for/love each other.

I've seen people wait 18 years to get married, and I've seen people who got married after 6 months. It's not one size fits all.

Talk to each other and be honest with yourself about what your pre-marriage bucket list contains (and it's okay if this changes over time). It might give you an idea as to why you are scared to say the magic words or want to run for the hills at the mere mention of "wedding".

 

[fadetoblack]

PDAs: okay when you're in a large group or the two of you go in a bar. Terrible when you're in a small group or you two + a friend, because it makes it fucking unbearable.

 

[Log4Girlz]

getting a shout-out from a minor celebrity surprisingly doesn't give meaning to my life!

I think she's over 18 man.

 

[clearacell]

What do you guys think about PDA? My bf is kinda... well, he doesn't mind holding hands. but he generally won't kiss or hold me in public, especially if friends are around.

I don't know how it is with your guy, but to me if I'm making out with my g/f in front of my friends I find it kind of rude, especially if I know they are having trouble getting their own woman (which usually is all of them). If you are hanging out with friends, you kinda gotta act like friends at least for that time period.

When it was just me and her, we would be holding hands or my hand on her ass (ass pocket, I should say).

 

[trilobyte]

My boyfriend and I rarely fight. I don't usually ever give him the silent treatment or say "nothing" when there's something.

The rare exception is if he's done something that's hurt my feelings and knows it, but is asking anyway. If you did/said something shitty and I'm having a negative reaction towards it you probably know what you said. So when you ask it just makes angry.

As I guy I can say that 9 times out of 10, we actually DON'T KNOW what we said to hurt you. If we ask "what's wrong" it's mostly likely because we really don't know. It's not that we're insensitive, we're just not hard wired to recognize these things.

 

[Hydranockz]

I don't know how it is with your guy, but to me if I'm making out with my g/f in front of my friends I find it kind of rude, especially if I know they are having trouble getting their own woman (which usually is all of them). If you are hanging out with friends, you kinda gotta act like friends at least for that time period.

When it was just me and her, we would be holding hands or my hand on her ass (ass pocket, I should say).

I fully agree with this. PDAs when you are in a group of friends is not me at all. I have seen far too many PDAs from friends and strangers to feel pretty uncomfortable doing it myself. I'll make sure my gf knows I love her in my own time and way, but I just don't think this should be done by frenching her in front of my friends.

Plus, being the friend/s sitting there while ye eat your faces off is really not fun.

 

[fredrancour]

As I guy I can say that 9 times out of 10, we actually DON'T KNOW what we said to hurt you. If we ask "what's wrong" it's mostly likely because we really don't know. It's not that we're insensitive, we're just not hard wired to recognize these things.

Quoting this because it's so goddamn true. Men naturally think differently than women about many, many things, and on top of that, different individuals can respond to the exact same statement differently even if they are the same gender. Something you found downright insulting could have been completely trivial and forgettable to the guy because it never would have offended him if the roles were reversed. Don't be so arrogant as to assume others know exactly how you feel about everything.

 

[Prax]

Ok Lady GAF, I have a question for you. How long in to dating a guy do you have to be before starting to get upset he hasn't told you he loves you yet?

Similarly, how long do you wait for him to commit to marriage, if you love him dearly and want to get married asap, but whilst he loves you, is showing a reluctance and fear to the meagre notion of it. How long is too long?

Thanks ladies! X

K, I will answer this according to me, and then according to WHAT I THINK the majority of girls are like!

Me: After dating a guy for more than a year, it'd be nice to know if he loves me. I will wait for about 7 years for positive signs of commitment. Over 7 years is too long. Then again, it's me that's the patient and procrastinating one.

Other girls: 4-6 months. You better bring the I love yous! Over 3 years and fear of commitment is a red flag that will lead to fights about it.

I need more opinions about this guys moustache. Is stubble with no 'stache really a preferable look here?

Spoiler

(I certainly don't think so).

My opinion is based on how I would draw a good-looking guy. I would draw stubble. I would not generally draw a moustache. Were I a guy, I would keep the five o'clock shadow, but there's a certain point where the moustache whiskers get too long (esp. at the corners of the mouth) giving off a weasly look.

 

[Always-honest]

Someone break it down to me, WHY is dancing so attractive to a female? I've heard most think there is some correlation between having rhythm and being good in bed and that's why, but I don't think thats the case. So someone 'splain it to me.

It's not attractive. Women dance to wow men. Just look at any man dancing: weird.

 

[Kinitari]

It's not attractive. Women dance to wow men. Just look at any man dancing: weird.

About 85% of the girls I talk to say that a guy who dances well is attractive, I mean... the majority of the girls who post in this thread feel that way too. I don't think it's weird for a guy to dance, or to enjoy dancing!

If you want to try dancing, don't let social stigma hold you back, seriously.

 

[Devolution]

It's not attractive. Women dance to wow men. Just look at any man dancing: weird.

A dude who can salsa is not weird. Plus salsa is a great excuse to touch a woman in places that would normally get you slapped.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

A dude who can salsa is not weird. Plus salsa is a great excuse to touch a woman in places that would normally get you slapped.

Where do you salsa regularly?

 

[Devolution]

Where do you salsa regularly?

I don't. I should. I've watched my friend's parents (and their class) perform. They take classes down at the Community College.

 

[Moobabe]

I don't want to fill in back story or anything - I want a simple gut reaction:

Should I keep trying? Is she worth it? And is trying more just going to hurt me more?

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

I don't. I should. I've watched my friend's parents (and their class) perform. They take classes down at the Community College.

You have to go out of your way to do something you might not even enjoy then. That's probably why so many people are making fun of the dancing suggestions because it's not dancing at a party it's things like salsa that you have to do at a class.

 

[Always-honest]

A dude who can salsa is not weird. Plus salsa is a great excuse to touch a woman in places that would normally get you slapped.

A dude who can salsa is about as horrible as it gets. Especially if he's not from south america.

 

[Devolution]

You have to go out of your way to do something you might not even enjoy then. That's probably why so many people are making fun of the dancing suggestions because it's not dancing at a party it's things like salsa that you have to do at a class.

This idea though that dancing looks weird is funny though. It really doesn't, especially if someone works on being coordinated. Besides if you can display how well you can move your hips and ass, that's a plus.

 

[Wazzim]

I don't want to fill in back story or anything - I want a simple gut reaction:

Should I keep trying? Is she worth it? And is trying more just going to hurt me more?

Bail out.

 

[Always-honest]

About 85% of the girls I talk to say that a guy who dances well is attractive, I mean... the majority of the girls who post in this thread feel that way too. I don't think it's weird for a guy to dance, or to enjoy dancing!

If you want to try dancing, don't let social stigma hold you back, seriously.

It's normal to move to music and enjoy it. It's horrible to look at if it's done to entertain or to seduce.(by a man)

Well, ofcourse that's just my opinion. I realise that.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

This idea though that dancing looks weird is funny though. It really doesn't, especially if someone works on being coordinated. Besides if you can display how well you can move your hips and ass, that's a plus.

It may not when you're in a class but it sure as hell does when you're not. There's no practical use for it at all and it will look incredibly awkward unless you're in a class.

It's normal to move to music and enjoy it. It's horrible to look at if it's done to entertain or to seduce.

Well, ofcourse that's just my opinion. I realise that.

I think it depends on the dancing you're talking about though. Most of the dancing women seem to like is stuff that's not really even dancing.

 

[Plywood]

I don't want to fill in back story or anything - I want a simple gut reaction:

Should I keep trying? Is she worth it? And is trying more just going to hurt me more?

I answer your question with a question: Waste time or move on?

 

[Moobabe]

Bail out.

I'm not sure what I wanted to hear, or expected to hear, but this does sound sensible

I answer your question with a question: Waste time or move on?

But what happens if turns out to not be a waste of time?

 

[Devolution]

It may not when you're in a class but it sure as hell does when you're not. There's no practical use for it at all and it will look incredibly awkward unless you're in a class.

There's not a practical reason for a lot of interests and hobbies. Do you just eat sleep and shit?

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

There's not a practical reason for a lot of interests and hobbies. Do you just eat sleep and shit?

:lol What? I'm not giving advice that if people want women that they have to start doing x hobby. It's funny that at least some of the girls talk about dancing that guys should do and they don't even themselves. It's just not good advice. You shouldn't be standing in the corner with a scowl on your face but guys shouldn't be running out to taking dancing lessons.

 

[Devolution]

:lol What? I'm not giving advice that if people want women that they have to start doing x hobby. It's funny that at least some of the girls talk about dancing that guys should do and they don't even themselves. It's just not good advice. You shouldn't be standing in the corner with a scowl on your face but guys shouldn't be running out to taking dancing lessons.

I don't think they have to or they should but if they come around asking me for a place to meet women and have a good time, I will make suggestions. Dancing halls and classes are one of those. So are cooking and craft classes. If they don't want to read them or broaden their scope they shouldn't come in here and ask in the first place.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

I don't think they have to or they should but if they come around asking me for a place to meet women and have a good time, I will make suggestions. Dancing halls and classes are one of those. So are cooking and craft classes. If they don't want to read them or broaden their scope they shouldn't come in here and ask in the first place.

But so far none of the women here actually go to dance classes so it can't be that good can it? The whole OP was about dancing and no one seems to even go to it.

 

[Devolution]

But so far none of the women here actually go to dance classes so it can't be that good can it?

Most of the women in here aren't single so what does that tell you?

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Most of the women in here aren't single so what does that tell you?

Nothing at all? So you took a bunch of dance classes before your boyfriend and found him there?

 

[Moobabe]

Bail out.

And literally minutes after you suggested it - here I am, hurt. At least I don't need to bail now eh?

 

[Devolution]

Nothing at all? So you took a bunch of dance classes before your boyfriend and found him there?

Can I ask what the fuck is the point of being pissy about suggestions of places to meet women or interests we know they commonly share? Especially if a guy is telling us he's tapped out in certain scenes?

 

[Kinitari]

What? You don't have to dance like the fucking... Rumba to get girls interested, if you're at a dance bar or a club or a party with dancing, if you're one of the guys who is on the floor dancing with other girls, you have a much better chance than if you're one of the guys sitting at the bar or in some dark corner - plus, you get to dance with girls.

This is at least the message I thought that was being delivered, not... fucking... salsa your way into a girls pants.

 

[slidewinder]

Just take some cooking classes, Zaraki. You can't lose.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Can I ask what the fuck is the point of being pissy about suggestions of places to meet women or interests we know they commonly share? Especially if a guy is telling us he's tapped out in certain scenes?

What? You're the only one that's been angry in pretty much every post, I have no idea why you're being so hostile.

 

[Wazzim]

And literally minutes after you suggested it - here I am, hurt. At least I don't need to bail now eh?

Sucks to hear that mate

 

[Lissar]

But so far none of the women here actually go to dance classes so it can't be that good can it? The whole OP was about dancing and no one seems to even go to it.

Well, I think it really depends on the TYPE of girl you're looking for. Are you looking for the type of girl who would come on a forum like GAF? This forum is, at its heart, a video game forum. Most of the women here aren't going to be much like your average woman. Really what you should take from the whole dancing/cooking class is, what kind of activities does your ideal woman engage in? Think about that, and then go participate in those activities.

While they've said dancing in particular is important, I think it is mostly the quality of putting yourself out there that women are going to find attractive. While I myself really wouldn't notice a guy dancing, there are other ways that show self-confidence that would interest me.

 

[Plywood]

And literally minutes after you suggested it - here I am, hurt. At least I don't need to bail now eh?

Well now you know and now you can move on.

 

[Moobabe]

Sucks to hear that mate

Yeah, I should have been smarter about it. I was so eager to be involved with someone again after I was out of a relationship early last year but I don't know if I was ready or not. Plus she had a boyfriend when I met her.... I'm such an idiot.

Well now you know and now you can move on.

If only I thought as clearly as you - I hate the way I think sometimes.

 

[SteveWinwood]

If only I thought as clearly as you - I hate the way I think sometimes.

Well you were thinking with your dick and not with your brain. So... easy solution there.