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LadyGAF Advises ManGAF

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Peasant Princess-King said:
Some girls have something personal with sports but some girls want to feel included and may not understand what's going on, but you dont want to have to explain the middle of a great play... so that could cause some disruption. If she is trying to make you do chores then calmly explain to her that it is something you like to do as a hobby, just like im sure she has hobbies that you don't always like and/or appreciate and would really appreciate if you could be left to watch it.

And i know not of this secret cult...
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I get kinda annoyed when I get invited over and he's just watching something/ in a game. I mean, you've asked me to come and spend time with you. Its different if you live together, but if you plan on watching sport while she's over let her know in advance so she can bring something to do in the meantime or plan to come over when you're done. please. There is only so much GSL I can watch in one sitting...

I think another problem is that some women think that since sport is really boring, it can't be that important to you either. Which is why they ask you to do things. If they join you to watch the game together they obviously realise its important to you but if they get bored they are more likely to put the emphasis on the "together" bit and not the "watching the game" bit.
 
Is a man who doesn't like to watch sports more appealing than a guy who does?

Personally, I'd rather watch some art documentary than a football game...
 
shanshan310 said:
I get kinda annoyed when I get invited over and he's just watching something/ in a game. I mean, you've asked me to come and spend time with you. Its different if you live together, but if you plan on watching sport while she's over let her know in advance so she can bring something to do in the meantime or plan to come over when you're done. please. There is only so much GSL I can watch in one sitting...

I think another problem is that some women think that since sport is really boring, it can't be that important to you either. Which is why they ask you to do things. If they join you to watch the game together they obviously realise its important to you but if they get bored they are more likely to put the emphasis on the "together" bit and not the "watching the game" bit.
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There is that too! Didn't even cross my mind.


See I don't mind watching sports as long as its not boring.... Football is awesome and soccer. I don't want to be watching it all day though. Fuck golf and baseball... Can spend my time doing more productive things...
 
Atramental said:
Is a man who doesn't like to watch sports more appealing than a guy who does?

Personally, I'd rather watch some art documentary than a football game...
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Depends on the woman. I am not into sports so it is nice if the guy isn't a sport fanatic.
 
Atramental said:
Is a man who doesn't like to watch sports more appealing than a guy who does?

Personally, I'd rather watch some art documentary than a football game...
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I appreciate that a guy has interests that he can - and will - talk about, that I can find ways to relate to.

I also appreciate that a guy has interests that, by hearing about them, my own horizons are expanded. I can learn from him and he can learn from me.

Does it have to be sports? No. I used to be an athlete, so I can relate to sports. But I also have an English degree, and go to the theatre - live theatre - often as a kid. So...finding a girl who at least shares a conceptual interest in the things you do may be the key.
 
Atramental said:
Is a man who doesn't like to watch sports more appealing than a guy who does?

Personally, I'd rather watch some art documentary than a football game...
Click to expand...

Like anything it just depends on what someone is interested in. If people don't have at least some compatible interests it's harder to keep the relationship going.
 
I was about to post "I could never in a relationship with a girl who is a sports fanatic" because I'm not one myself but... thinking about it, it would be cool and different, I guess.
 
Rooting for a team you wouldn't otherwise care about in a comeback because of your significant other can be pretty fun.
 
I posted this in the dating thread but I wanted LadyGAF's opinion.

Is it a bad thing to be called "safe"? I asked this girl I've been seeing what she liked about and she liked that I was nice and that I was safe.
 
I was told by some girl at the local Carvel that I was the politest person she ever met... wtf? Strange flirting attempt or was she just really really bored at work?

She was cute but sadly, a bit too young for my tastes

I dated a hardcore Yankee fan (to the point where she had a tattoo of the team logo) for a little while, it didn't bother me that she was a big baseball fan, and I even tried to watch a bunch of their games when they won the series in 2009 (hard to do as someone who grew up a casual Met fan). It was just she never really made the effort to entertain any of my interests that bothered me.
 
¿GirlGAF, do you think it's bad when a guy is strong enough to protect you at all times, but sensitive enough to listen when you have things you really need to talk about, and he's also incredibly sexy?
 
johnny_park said:
I posted this in the dating thread but I wanted LadyGAF's opinion.

Is it a bad thing to be called "safe"? I asked this girl I've been seeing what she liked about and she liked that I was nice and that I was safe.
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If she says she likes it, no.
 
Timedog said:
¿GirlGAF, do you think it's bad when a guy is strong enough to protect you at all times, but sensitive enough to listen when you have things you really need to talk about, and he's also incredibly sexy?
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Totally awful, how dare he.

Wait what.
 
djtiesto said:
I was told by some girl at the local Carvel that I was the politest person she ever met... wtf? Strange flirting attempt or was she just really really bored at work?

She was cute but sadly, a bit too young for my tastes

I dated a hardcore Yankee fan (to the point where she had a tattoo of the team logo) for a little while, it didn't bother me that she was a big baseball fan, and I even tried to watch a bunch of their games when they won the series in 2009 (hard to do as someone who grew up a casual Met fan). It was just she never really made the effort to entertain any of my interests that bothered me.
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Could I date a Yankee's fan? Sure. Would I take every chance I could get to say "Fuck the Yankees"? You bet.
 
johnny_park said:
I posted this in the dating thread but I wanted LadyGAF's opinion.

Is it a bad thing to be called "safe"? I asked this girl I've been seeing what she liked about and she liked that I was nice and that I was safe.
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Safe is not exciting. What you really need to be is a schizo. You have to be crazy and exciting one night and then a nice guy the other when she is in the mood for it.
 
~Kinggi~ said:
Safe is not exciting. What you really need to be is a schizo. You have to be crazy and exciting one night and then a nice guy the other when she is in the mood for it.
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Ha. I don't think it's fair to *ask* an SO to be crazy one moment and then sane the next. I would think it's hard enough just keeping up with someone who goes from nuts to mello in a single meal cycle.
 
The Orange said:
You're still afraid of failure, you just transferred it to a different stage. Getting someone to say yes would be outside of your comfort zone. Don't worry about it, and go with it. Same as with rejection, even if you fail, you learn something.
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Again, what does "Go with it" mean exactly?
 
grap3fruitman said:
Again, what does "Go with it" mean exactly?
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You're uncomfortable with success so you stop trying. To you it's a lose-lose situation. "Go with it" simply means try, even though you're not comfortable with the results.
 
Tkawsome said:
You're uncomfortable with success so you stop trying. To you it's a lose-lose situation. "Go with it" simply means try, even though you're not comfortable with the results.
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And this is where I ultimately fail. I never want to try anything because the results (whether good or bad) of any given situation unnerve me to no end.
 
Atramental said:
And this is where I ultimately fail. I never want to try anything because the results (whether good or bad) of any given situation unnerve me to no end.
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You gotta just say fuck it and let these things play out the way they play, or you can live not knowing and die full of regret at missed opportunities to grow.
 
Atramental said:
And this is where I ultimately fail. I never want to try anything because the results (whether good or bad) of any given situation unnerve me to no end.
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You have to change your thinking about this. Either she says yes or no. Those are the only two results you should care about. Forget about the "maybe"s and the indecisive ones, because they'll only bring you trouble.

Dating becomes incredibly easy and relaxed once you narrow it down to one of two outcomes. No more guessing, no more uncertainty. Nothing to unnerve you.
 
SRG01 said:
Dating becomes incredibly easy and relaxed once you narrow it down to one of two outcomes. No more guessing, no more uncertainty. Nothing to unnerve you.
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You're missing the point. In this line of thinking, both outcomes suck.

She says no she's reenforcing your own self-loathing. She says yes and you're just setting yourself up for a much, much harder fall. The only winning move is not to play.
 
Tkawsome said:
You're missing the point. In this line of thinking, both outcomes suck.

She says no she's reenforcing your own self-loathing. She says yes and you're just setting yourself up for a much, much harder fall. The only winning move is not to play.
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vaX4Q.gif
 
I found this in another thread and thought it might been good to post here:


Captain_Spanky said:
Taken from The Armed Housewife

"If you are uncomfortable with being just friends, then don't be friends at all; pretending to be a woman's friend is lying, and insinuating yourself into her life under false pretenses makes you no better than the asshole boyfriends whom you decry for hurting her over and over. Being a good friend to a woman does not entitle you to her romantic affection."
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shanshan310 said:
I found this in another thread and thought it might been good to post here:
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A couple of things.

1) That quote makes it out like it's almost a bad thing to be friends with a woman. Like the man has to "accept his place". It's possible to be friends with no romantic interest. In cases where the guy develops feelings (and note: it's possible for a guy to enter a friendship with no interest and gradually fall for you) he should either act on them or bail. It doesn't make him a jerk, an asymmetrical friendship just doesn't work.
2) A man who is in the friendzone isn't always an asshole who just wants in you pants. They like you romantically and enjoy the friendship so much they want more. You're either unavailable or unwilling to allow that, so at no point is he lying to you. More misguided.
3) You can't single this guy out for feeling "entitled". True, nobody is entitled to anything, but everyone likes to think they are in the dating world.

Maybe I just don't know these "friendzone" types, but that's what I thought after reading that quote.
 
shanshan310 said:
I found this in another thread and thought it might been good to post here:
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Seems true enough. I don't think there's anything wrong with legitimately being a friend when you initially were trying for something else though. I have friends who are girls that if they ever hit on me I don't know what my reaction would be, but I certainly don't stay friends with them hoping it will happen. I think the quote is a little simplistic in how it views relationships between people, romantic or other.

In other news, coming out of a long relationship back into the single world is.... weird. I dunno I look at things way differently now. It' only been about a month and most of that time has been spent dealing with the breakup, but the few "attempts" that I've made at trying to get back into dating have felt very different. This may also be due to the fact that I started dating my ex at 19 and I'm now 25....
 
Sorry about putting this in a quote. A friend in need.

Guys and girls, I don't believe that relationships are an exact science, but I still would love to read some thoughts on this, if you have them.

It has been very hard to schedule something with this girl with who I fooled around sometime ago. We have busy and a lot times incompatible schedules due to school and work so it has been postponed week after week, but finally we'll meet. In a couple of days.

I'm interested in her. Not crazy interested but I liked being with her and I want more. It was me who sought for her and it's me who's been actively wanting to arrange a meeting.

She kinda friendzoned me though. I mean, it's clear that she's not crazy about meeting me again - not saying that she doesn't want to, but for her it's just getting a cup of coffee with a pal and talking a bit about what's been up.

As I can see it, I can approach this in two different ways. Either I try and make my best move, or... I dunno how, but I just try to be smooth and cool and just make her a little more interested. Somewhat befriend her, because as off now, we're more like acquaintances than actual friends. I don't know shit about her and she doesn't know shit about me. But we did go through some crazy shit and I do feel very confident with her.

So the thing is, if I don't lvl up this deal on this one shot I have, I'll keep being an acquaintance and will only be seeing her again in a couple of months I bet, which will be pointless.

...this would be so much easier if we could just go for a drink.
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Tkawsome said:
A couple of things.

1) That quote makes it out like it's almost a bad thing to be friends with a woman. Like the man has to "accept his place". It's possible to be friends with no romantic interest. In cases where the guy develops feelings (and note: it's possible for a guy to enter a friendship with no interest and gradually fall for you) he should either act on them or bail. It doesn't make him a jerk, an asymmetrical friendship just doesn't work.
2) A man who is in the friendzone isn't always an asshole who just wants in you pants. They like you romantically and enjoy the friendship so much they want more. You're either unavailable or unwilling to allow that, so at no point is he lying to you. More misguided.
3) You can't single this guy out for feeling "entitled". True, nobody is entitled to anything, but everyone likes to think they are in the dating world.

Maybe I just don't know these "friendzone" types, but that's what I thought after reading that quote.
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Well, they aren't really talking about either people gradually falling in love OR people who are comfortable with just being friends despite having romantic feelings for a person. The point is guys who have no intentions of being friends from the beginning, but pretend to only want that up to the point where they demand "payback" for all the nice things they've been doing for a girl. You can't say this happens in every "friends with romantic feelings" situation, but it DOES happen. No one is saying "guys who are friends with a girl but have romantic feelings for them are rat bastards." One of my good guy friends I know has had romantic feelings for me for years, he told me fairly early on in our friendship too. But I wasn't interested, and he accepted just being friends. We're all okay with that. Because he's comfortable with it, it isn't a problem. He isn't trying to push me or use his friendship as leverage or anything like that. That's what makes it okay, and other situations not.
 
Not a dating question, but even a more basic "Is this creepy?" question:

Went out to happy hour last night with some co-workers. It came out that I was looking to move to a new place soon, and one of them said she was moving too and had found not-too-expensive places in a nearby city, so I should look around that city too. So I'd like to ask her for advice if she knows any more specific areas or communities I could look at, just to help my own research--that's all, honest, I'm not trying to use this as an in (she has a bf), but I'm worried she might think that, like I'm trying to find out where she lives or something. Am I overthinking this?
 
Hey LadyGaf I want a girlfriend. Where do I begin. When I look at girls they always look upset or texting importanter people or listening to music. I feel like if I approach them I will barge into their very important lives.
 
bangladesh said:
Hey LadyGaf I want a girlfriend. Where do I begin. When I look at girls they always look upset or texting importanter people or listening to music. I feel like if I approach them I will barge into their very important lives.
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Maybe change your look. If you just looking at them makes them want to ignore you with their phone then maybe you need to freshen up your style some. Also don't stare constantly at a girl, because that can make them uncomfortable.
 
Londa said:
Maybe change your look. If you just looking at them makes them want to ignore you with their phone then maybe you need to freshen up your style some. Also don't stare constantly at a girl, because that can make them uncomfortable.
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No I am saying that they are like that in general. And it's hard to look away because they are so beautiful. And I don't wanna dress like a TOOL.
 
faceless007 said:
Not a dating question, but even a more basic "Is this creepy?" question:

Went out to happy hour last night with some co-workers. It came out that I was looking to move to a new place soon, and one of them said she was moving too and had found not-too-expensive places in a nearby city, so I should look around that city too. So I'd like to ask her for advice if she knows any more specific areas or communities I could look at, just to help my own research--that's all, honest, I'm not trying to use this as an in (she has a bf), but I'm worried she might think that, like I'm trying to find out where she lives or something. Am I overthinking this?
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you're over thinking it. It's a legitimate question and a good conversation to be had. If she helps you out, then you know she's nice enough to engage and you go on from there. If she doesn't want to help you out and you think that you're creeping her out, then move on and don't worry about it.
 
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