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[pubba]

My dad died really horribly last November. I sat by his bed and watched the life shudder out of him. It was fucking awful and I didn't have time to grieve properly. I'm the only son and suddenly I had to deal with the funeral, other family members, solicitors etc etc..

Fast forward to now and I think it's starting to hit me. Post traumatic shock? I don't know.. I'm all alone in Taiwan and just started a new teaching contract. The pay is great, the school is awesome but I'm walking around being gloomy and missing my Dad.

 

[Kevtones]

My dad died really horribly last November. I sat by his bed and watched the life shudder out of him. It was fucking awful and I didn't have time to grieve properly. I'm the only son and suddenly I had to deal with the funeral, other family members, solicitors etc etc..

Fast forward to now and I think it's starting to hit me. Post traumatic shock? I don't know.. I'm all alone in Taiwan and just started a new teaching contract. The pay is great, the school is awesome but I'm walking around being gloomy and missing my Dad.

I'm really sorry man. That sounds difficult to say the least.

 

[Enojado]

My dad died really horribly last November. I sat by his bed and watched the life shudder out of him. It was fucking awful and I didn't have time to grieve properly. I'm the only son and suddenly I had to deal with the funeral, other family members, solicitors etc etc..

Fast forward to now and I think it's starting to hit me. Post traumatic shock? I don't know.. I'm all alone in Taiwan and just started a new teaching contract. The pay is great, the school is awesome but I'm walking around being gloomy and missing my Dad.

Sorry for your loss. Everyone deals with death differently, so you very well could just now be dealing with it.

 

[pubba]

Everyone says it just takes time..I know deep down that this is true. But how much time?

Sometimes I think it would have been easier if he had died suddenly as opposed to watching his body shut down over 9 months. Poor bastard. It's worse because he was such an awesome guy.

Sorry for the misery. Interesting thread, I actually read through it all and really feel for some of you guys.

Another low point: I'm in Taiwan where the women are awesome, but I only get chatted up by old hags or fat chicks.

 

[Talka]

Your random fucks are a short-term solution to the bigger problem - that being you don't know what you want because your life compass is fucked. Any direction seems like a good direction though, as long as it get you away from here.

Randomness aside, keep your chin up. The only moper is you and the sooner you move on the sooner you'll get happier again. I spent nearly a year in severe depression, isolating myself from life-long friends because I was so overcome in losing a girlfriend (3+ years seems even longer at 17). It was the worst time of my life but I learned more about myself than I could've hoped. Take some time to think about what you want and push yourself to grow from this shittiness.

Word up, man.

No real solution, though. Just have to keep doing whatever it takes to get the fuck away from where I am right now. I'll worry about my compass once I'm as far the fuck away as possible.

 

[Kevtones]

Word up, man.

No real solution, though. Just have to keep doing whatever it takes to get the fuck away from where I am right now. I'll worry about my compass once I'm as far the fuck away as possible.

Yeah man, I just hope the best for you. That awkward post-phase can be such a bitch and mindfuck. Highs and lows can come at any time and you're right, the further you push away from that aspect of your life or learn to exhaust it's emotional-hold, the better. Best of luck man ~

 

[gantz85]

Another low point: I'm in Taiwan where the women are awesome, but I only get chatted up by old hags or fat chicks.

If you're a foreigner there are a subsection of them who like foreign dicks. You just have to find them.

But grieve over your dad first, eh.

 

[Ten-Song]

Everyone says it just takes time..I know deep down that this is true. But how much time?

Sometimes I think it would have been easier if he had died suddenly as opposed to watching his body shut down over 9 months. Poor bastard. It's worse because he was such an awesome guy.

Shit, two and a half years since I lost my dad and I’m still a mess over it. Though it was a bit complicated… so I guess here’s my prospective on it:

We weren’t very close, for most of my childhood I only thought of him as a worthless drunk that never cared about me or my family. A year before he passed it finally sunk in that he had tried his best, and that in spite of all his failures, was still proud of bringing me and my siblings into the world. I got a call a few months later, and he’s dying in the hospital, basically having committed suicide.

I’ve suffered with depression my entire life, and during the whole process of setting up the funeral and such, I was just in this weird daze. I wasn’t sad, I didn’t cry, I didn’t eat, sleep. So few people stood up during the service we held for him, that I basically stood up for a long ass time trying to make it seem like it was all worth it, clinging to the few good moments I had shared with him in life. I only realized shortly after that I was speaking for both of us. His end really sort of mirrored me in a twisted way. Depressed, no family to count on, no friends, and as a son, I never really made it any better… so he just… gave up.

Two weeks after I got back home and sat in my room, I was holding onto something that belonged to him, and it finally hit me… I don’t think I’ve ever cried harder in my entire life.

So now every Christmas, or during his birthday, or during Valentine ’s Day (the day he was taken off life support) I just feel like an absolute mess. Randomly from time to time my own depression wanders into those thoughts as well, beating myself up over all the time lost and such. My brother just recently had a child, and during that day I couldn’t feel happy at all, because all I thought about was that my dad never got to see his granddaughter.

 

[Recon]

In Dec. i was arrested and charged,initially, with 3 counts of armed robbery and 3 counts of unlawful imprisonment. Fast forward to Feb. and at my first court date the ass.prosecutor offered me a plea of 1 count attempted armed robbery and 1 count of attempted kidnapping.Im basically gonna take the deal once my lawyer gets them to cap jail time at 1-year max(which he says is very,very probable). Thats a lot better then 3 counts that were life max and 3 counts that were 15 max. But it still sucks that im going to go away for awhile. While i do accept ownership of the crime...it still sucks..

 

[Kevtones]

In Dec. i was arrested and charged,initially, with 3 counts of armed robbery and 3 counts of unlawful imprisonment. Fast forward to Feb. and at my first court date the ass.prosecutor offered me a plea of 1 count attempted armed robbery and 1 count of attempted kidnapping.Im basically gonna take the deal once my lawyer gets them to cap jail time at 1-year max(which he says is very,very probable). Thats a lot better then 3 counts that were life max and 3 counts that were 15 max. But it still sucks that im going to go away for awhile. While i do accept ownership of the crime...it still sucks..

Ffffffffuuuuuuuck.

 

[Recon]

Ffffffffuuuuuuuck.

Its not all that bad, the career i wanted to go into i can still do(lawyer). Its just gonna be a lot harder, thats all. And i figure 9 months to a year in county jail(which is downtown for me) shouldnt be that hard.

 

[BobFromPikeCreek]

In Dec. i was arrested and charged,initially, with 3 counts of armed robbery and 3 counts of unlawful imprisonment. Fast forward to Feb. and at my first court date the ass.prosecutor offered me a plea of 1 count attempted armed robbery and 1 count of attempted kidnapping.Im basically gonna take the deal once my lawyer gets them to cap jail time at 1-year max(which he says is very,very probable). Thats a lot better then 3 counts that were life max and 3 counts that were 15 max. But it still sucks that im going to go away for awhile. While i do accept ownership of the crime...it still sucks..

goddam

 

[Feral Youth]

Recently released from prison for next to fuck all. Public order offense, section 4. I got greeted by unpaid bills, which sucks, they are all paid off now, but I am skint until April the 1st.

Met a woman after, dumped her after a week probably because I just like being single and quite like my life as it is, but the next day I meet someone I like and ask her out, she says yes, but unfortunately she works nights and it's going to be hard to meet up with her. Same day get asked out, and I say no because I'm interested in the other woman, and now I have regrets.

Just aimless shit really.

 

[Kevtones]

Its not all that bad, the career i wanted to go into i can still do(lawyer). Its just gonna be a lot harder, thats all. And i figure 9 months to a year in county jail(which is downtown for me) shouldnt be that hard.

I guess you'll have time to study (hopefully). The real question is will you continue to post on GAF..?

 

[DevilWillcry]

-One of my best friends is preparing to leave for the army very soon.
-The girl of my dreams turned out to swing the other way.
-I have no idea if or when I will go back to school or what I will be doing with my life.

Meh, things could be worse.

 

[Acid08]

No job- there is almost nothing available here.
School is fucking horrible
Being kicked out of my dads house on May 28th
Flat broke
Have no idea what I'm going to do or where I'm going to go.
Stealing money for drugs.

 

[Kevtones]

Jesus fuck GAF, I'm beginning to think this thread was a bad idea. Any mods feel like locking this haven of sad?

 

[Danielsan]

I turn 21 tomorrow, still a virgin never had a relationship.
At this rate I'll end up being the real 40 year old virgin for sure.
It doesn't help that my social life is a mess and I only go out once or twice a month at best.

 

[MrFingers]

Jesus fuck GAF, I'm beginning to think this thread was a bad idea. Any mods feel like locking this haven of sad?

I don't know,It's kind of cathartic reading about other people's shitty lives.

 

[Recon]

I guess you'll have time to study (hopefully). The real question is will you continue to post on GAF..?

Probably not, not sure of the computer access in Jail. I do plan on tons of reading and finally writing the book ive started a dozen times.

 

[KevinCow]

Nothing particularly awful has happened to me lately, though my situation kinda sucks. Turning 21 shortly, still live with my parents, haven't been able to get a job since the one I had for a couple months when I was 19 and got fired from for calling my boss a fucking asshole when he implied that it was my fault my paycheck bounced, feel awful about leeching off my parents because my dad's also been having trouble getting work lately.

Oh, and I'm still depressed, socially awkward, and hate myself, despite a decade of therapy, pills, and mental hospitals, so that's awesome. Haven't made a new friend or even acquaintance in a good six years, also awesome. After pissing off friends in various ways, I'm down to only three, who live a good 30 minutes away and are busy 90% of the time so I hardly ever get to see them. And my love life... well, as I have neither skills with women or any opportunity to meet them, I doubt I'm gonna rectify that situation any time soon. Doesn't help that I'm pretty damn ugly either.

I hate yammering on about how much I hate myself. I went through an emo phase some time ago and drove away several people who actually didn't hate me. But I gotta let it out now and then.

Though on a brighter note, I finally got accepted to do the volunteer work I applied for a month ago.

 

[TOM f'N CRUISE]

my dad was deported back to mexico in january and i miss the poor basturd so much. i went to http://www.immigrationdirect.com/greencard/Green_Card_by_Family_Sponsorship.jsp
but his shit is kinda confusing but it sounds like the thing i should do. anybody here ever had this problem or know anybody who did?

 

[jey_16]

need a job badly, i'm still in uni but its my final year so i should be getting some graduate work next year or even some part time work while i finish....but i'm getting no where, not even interviews

it doesnt help that basically every one i know seems to be doing exceedingly well right now as well

the only good thing is when i look in the mirror....i see one handsome bastard

 

[KR3W]

my dad was deported back to mexico in january and i miss the poor basturd so much. i went to http://www.immigrationdirect.com/greencard/Green_Card_by_Family_Sponsorship.jsp
but his shit is kinda confusing but it sounds like the thing i should do. anybody here ever had this problem or know anybody who did?

Sorry to hear that

Try talking to an attorney that specializes in immigration...that's what my uncle did with his wife, and she got her green card in a couple years.

goddam.

 

[pje122]

Bumping for more.

 

[Raging Spaniard]

Some shit at work kinda sucks, seeing the realities of how marketing and PR affects everything in the games industry.

Other than that and being around 15k (wife+me) in credit card debt and 150k in college loan debt (wife) I cant complain, everything is good otherwise

 

[GoutPatrol]

My rapidshare account was hacked.

 

[natethegreat409]

Let's go!

1.) The only person that I ever loved who wasn't blood related died 5 years ago. Ever since then I've pushed everyone away from me and I have basically no real friends anymore.
2.) The girl who I met back in October and am crazy about has a serious boyfriend, and we're just friends now. We text and see each other for classes every two days, and it drives me crazy.
3.) I'm completely lost in life. I have no clue what I'm doing.
4.) I'm 20 years old and haven't been in a relationship since I was 14.
5.) I feel that everyone dislikes me.
6.) I think I've lost the ability to feel other people's emotions. I can only remember one occasion that I was happy because someone else received good news. My dad had 3 kidney stones while I was gone over spring break, and I didn't not worry about him one bit. What the fuck is wrong with me?
7.) I actively try to do things that will make me miserable.
8.) I want a job, but I'm afraid I will just fail at everything I try to do.
9.) I live in a town where there is nothing to do to meet new people, and it drives me crazy.
10.) Summer is coming, and I completely dread the loneliness that will come with it. I know April will fly by, I will stop seeing #2, and I will have no social interaction until I'm back in school.
11.) Even though I try, I feel I will never be happy again.

 

[Squall5042]

Someone I have feelings for has an amazing life: Super attractive, amazing house, job, and social life, world-travelled, funny and charismatic, charitable with time and money...

It's depressing just knowing him, much less knowing it won't go past anything physical...

 

[Raistlin]

- I'm not particularly happy in my career. While I like the people here, and the job is entertaining some of the time, I'm just not fulfilled by it.

- Feel like I'm doing little in my life that has meaning. Nothing I do is impacting the world. blah blah blah

- Bored of the area I live. Not much to do, nor people to meet - relatively.

 

[Solideliquid]

Jesus fuck GAF, I'm beginning to think this thread was a bad idea. Any mods feel like locking this haven of sad?

Want some happy? I figured out which settings I'm happy with on my iphone. It's a new day!

 

[Magik]

- Laid off in December right before Xmas
- Still haven't found a job that is related to my education (Chem Engineer) and from the people who I have talked to in the industry, there will be barely any positions available for the rest of the year due to the shitty Economy
- Mother has mental illness and refuses to see help
- Finding out some of my friends have been talking shit behind my back for years
- Currently experiencing the Quarter-Life crisis where I'm not sure what the hell I want to do with my life
- Not much of a social life

 

[ErasureAcer]

--I have to have oral surgery to remove my two remaining wisdom teeth. At the same time, I have a tooth in the back that they say has a deep cavity that even a root canal won't do wonders for. I do not like losing teeth. This will be my first lost adult tooth, aside from the wisdom teeth.

I'm with ya there. I have my wisdom teeth out and #3 as well. It's not too big a deal. I can still chew on that side. Can't really see that it's missing when I open my mouth either.

Anyways...for me. I've been homeless for the past 72 hours and probably will be a bit longer. I've been staying in the breezeway area of an apartment complex at night and the library during the day. I have no money using the last bit I had to buy a box of crackers last night...which should keep me tied over for another day or two. Sadly...I'm gonna miss LOST tonight too. I haven't missed an episode since I first watched it from like S1E5 or so on. Oh well. Hopefully I can download the viewer on this computer tomorrow and watch it. It could be the last episode I ever see. *cry*

 

[AndresON777]

Unhappiness is a state of mind, I don't even remember it.

 

[crowphoenix]

My life isn't really awful by any stretch of the imagination, but I am having trouble with raising my verbal on the GRE and researching grad schools. But, for the most part I'm happy.

 

[otake]

Besides being out of work for the past 4 months, I recently began to suspect I have runners knee. Running has been one of two things keeping me sane during unemployment and the job I am trying to get requires me to run 1.5 miles in less than 13 minutes.

 

[Retro]

Let's go!
7.) I actively try to do things that will make me miserable.

Oh man, I hate doing that myself. One thing will kind of bother me, and then I start thinking about other depressing things and before I know it I'm a fucking wreck.

 

[otake]

is it too early for beer?

 

[Booser]

Sucks to hear about some genuine problems here, I hope things work out for you guys. Mine seems kinda trivial, I have some good friends, loving family, supportive job etc so I'm grateful.

However Im in love with this girl, she may actually like me but she isnt long broken up with her bf, on top of that another friend of hers has told her he likes her too. She told me that she just wants to be friends with him but doesnt really know what to do. One minute I think things are going well, we've gone on dates, she spent most of sat night in my arms etc - but the next minute I'll learn about something that further complicates things. This means I have to give her more time to sort herself out when all I wanna do is tell her everything I feel, but for her sake I cant. Not yet. The situation is driving me crazy. Not knowing where exactly you stand with someone is terrible. Basically one minute I think she genuinely likes me, the next I feel like Im being used. It's all I can think about.

 

[surrealist]

- A job I was up for, that pays twice the money and half the hours just got filled.

- My current job is going back to a 12 hour shift format. Most likely 5 days a week.

- My exgirlfriend told me to give her a month. It's been over a month.

 

[CrunchyB]

I fell in love with a girl who's been living at my dorm for 1.5 years, we've been friends the entire time. She didn't have the same feelings for me. Which sucked of course, but was not that big of a deal. But then she hooked up 2 weeks later with the slacker new guy who actually lives right next to me(!) And they started getting down to business while I was trying to concentrate learning my (very important) exams on the other side of the wall.

Exams = royally fucked, no pun intended. Lowest point of the past 9 years of my life and I'm 28. Took me a while to get over it. I'm still not very comfortable with the situation.

Then there was this other girl which I had a bit of a crush on. I've known her for over a year, but never really talked with her. So I thought, what the heck, it's worth a shot. The next 2 weeks rocked, we talked on the internet all the time, we drank tea together and talked for hours. Awesome. So then I casually asked, hey, can we go cook some dinner together? But she didn't have time, she had a date that night.

Fuck.

We talked the next day. Turns out that she didn't know I was interested in her (she was shocked!) and even though she really likes (and even admires) me, she likes OtherGuy more. OtherGuy is a weird ugly mofo, dunno what he did to seduce her, it must have been good.

Le sigh.

I also have no money. I do have marketable skills, getting a job shouldn't be that hard. I've had good jobs in the past, but I quit because I wanted to concentrate on my study. Now I've wasted half a year. I already had 20k Euro of student debt and am still at least a year from graduating IF I can get my act together. Aargh.

I'm in great health though. That's something, I guess. I'm also not depressed anymore.

 

[NumberTwo]

- I have a fear of driving at an age where it is second nature to most people
- My dad (aged 59) is on dialysis and suffering from gout
- It seems as if that only gay men and women that I'm not attracted to are attracted to me
- My older brother has completely destroyed his life and has had babies with multiple women

 

[Dartastic]

I've had no job for the past four months. I lost my unemployment benefits a month ago. I got a job offer three days ago. I was very excited, as I'm almost out of money and it's very, very hard to find a job here in Portland. They called yesterday to withdraw the offer. I'm quite proper fucked. I'm certainly glad I got my college degree now! =(

 

[Smokey]

My fiancé dumped me for one of my best friend
My parents got a divorce
I lost my job
I developped a bad case of tinnitus and havent had a good night sleep since september
I've having the worst semester in 3 years in college
I lost a friend in Afghanistan

Damn man.

All of those are terrible, especially number 1, 2, 3, and 6.



Best of luck to you

 

[lunarworks]

- I work an average of 15 hours per week at my part time job. The boss there frequently goes away, so there's weeks when I have NO work. My other part time job disappeared when that company vanished amid a scandal.

- No money for anything I want, other than a shoestring budget night out once every week or two.

- The job market sucks, and the jobs that are out there require skills I don't have.

- My college graduation is still in limbo. (Missing one course credit.)

- My attention span is at an all-time low, so I can't get anything done. It's also hard to focus on stuff I enjoy, like games. Plus, I've been battling depression again.

- Outside of my girlfriend (and the occasional heavy drama involved), I have no social life. I live in the suburbs, and entering new social circles here is virtually impossible. I love the time I spend in the city, but I'm constantly running around, which makes things difficult.

- My commute is a triangle of suck. My home, my office, and my girlfriend, with a two hour travel time between any two of them. That eats up way more time than is healthy. Plus, I don't have a car, so I have to depend on the hourly train schedule, which can easily be missed.

- Just had two teeth out last week, and I've been suffering from a cold.


Basically, I feel like I'm stuck in a pit I can't get out of.

 

[Zoe]

Besides being out of work for the past 4 months, I recently began to suspect I have runners knee. Running has been one of two things keeping me sane during unemployment and the job I am trying to get requires me to run 1.5 miles in less than 13 minutes.

Wow, what kind of job requires you to run?

 

[otake]

Wow, what kind of job requires you to run?

Many government jobs require you to be physically fit. PT tests are involved.

 

[half a moon]

Just got told i was going to be laid off 10 minutes ago.

My last day of work is March 31st.

I live with my dad and I'm still in college, so I'll be alright. But, I have bills worth 400$ a month...

 

[Silent Death]

In Dec. i was arrested and charged,initially, with 3 counts of armed robbery and 3 counts of unlawful imprisonment. Fast forward to Feb. and at my first court date the ass.prosecutor offered me a plea of 1 count attempted armed robbery and 1 count of attempted kidnapping.Im basically gonna take the deal once my lawyer gets them to cap jail time at 1-year max(which he says is very,very probable). Thats a lot better then 3 counts that were life max and 3 counts that were 15 max. But it still sucks that im going to go away for awhile. While i do accept ownership of the crime...it still sucks..

Yeah it sucks that you will be out in a year, when you should be rotting in a cell for a lot longer.

 

[nomster]

Its not all that bad, the career i wanted to go into i can still do(lawyer). Its just gonna be a lot harder, thats all.

I'd start working on the speech you're going to give to the character and fitness committee. They're tough enough on kids that just have a couple of MIPs, who knows what they'll do to you.