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LGBThread |OT4| We're (still) Here! We're (still) Queer!

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B

Blood Diamonds

Banned
tumblr_n52scuyflV1rzwg3zo1_500.jpg
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dylan o brien and tyler hoechlin at lady gaga's artrave thing lmao

EDIT: IT'S FROM THE MTV MOVIE AWARDS I HAD SO MUCH HOPE
 
M

mantidor

Member
I always find romance in comics so ridiculous heh, maybe not the story (and to be honest I don't know many), but the imagery is hilarious, like that overly heroic, busy background, capes flowing, explotions, and lastly a kiss lol not even soap operas are that corny.
 
R

RatskyWatsky

Hunky Nostradamus
mantidor said:
I always find romance in comics so ridiculous heh, maybe not the story (and to be honest I don't know many), but the imagery is hilarious, like that overly heroic, busy background, capes flowing, explotions, and lastly a kiss lol not even soap operas are that corny.
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Read Saga.
 
H

Hours Left

Member
Why are people always so nice when you can benefit them, but the second you make them confront their own mistakes, it's "all your fault".

:/
 
N

Nohar

Member
Hours Left said:
Why are people always so nice when you can benefit them, but the second you make them confront their own mistakes, it's "all your fault".

:/
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Because some people are self-centered jerks who just want to use others and don't care about the feelings of the people they may hurt in the process. They don't care about their own mistakes, they don't want to atone for them, they don't even want to aknowledge that they did something wrong, because, in their minds, they are always right, and it's far more easier to shift the blame than to accept they screwed up.
 
H

Hours Left

Member
Nohar said:
Because some people are self-centered jerks who just want to use others and don't care about the feelings of the people they may hurt in the process. They don't care about their own mistakes, they don't want to atone for them, they don't even want to aknowledge that they did something wrong, because, in their minds, they are always right, and it's far more easier to shift the blame than to accept they screwed up.
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I'm so over dealing with this kind of garbage. I'm always the sounding board and/or the problem solver, but as soon as it's convenient to lash out or push me aside, that's always what happens. Then they come back pleading when there's something wrong again.

I have a tension knot in my back the size of New Hampshire because of all this junk. It feels like it's crushing my damn lungs.
 
R

Replicant

Member
People in general are assholes. Or maybe just the ones that I know of. I'm tired of always making the first effort, tired of lack reciprocation, and tired of them not caring as much as I do. I think I can count with one hand the amount of people who make as much effort as I do when it comes to interactions. And it's not just limited to dates. The same thing with friendship. Is it too much to expect that people put as much effort as you do?
 
N

Nohar

Member
I have to ask: does "they" refer to your friends, colleagues at work, family or boyfriends? I have a strict policy of cutting off ties with people who revealed themselves to have more negative aspects than positives ones and who have the kind of behaviour you mentioned. When it's friends and boyfriends, it's (relatively) easy, despite the initial emotional impact, and after calming down I have always known that it was the right choice for me, and I never regretted doing so. As for family and colleagues... That's a little more complicated.
 
R

Replicant

Member
Nohar said:
I have to ask: does "they" refer to your friends, colleagues at work, family or boyfriends? I have a strict policy of cutting off ties with people who revealed themselves to have more negative aspects than positives ones and who have the kind of behaviour you mentioned. When it's friends and boyfriends, it's (relatively) easy, despite the initial emotional impact, and after calming down I have always known that it was the right choice for me, and I never regretted doing so. As for family and colleagues... That's a little more complicated.
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In my case, yes. It refers to almost every people I get to know in my life, family excluded although my brother is pretty shitty as well. And yes, I do normally cut ties after I can assess that the majority of our interactions are too one-sided but it gets tiring when it happens all over again. It's like they are so used to being approached by so many people that it never occurred in their mind that sometimes they have to return the favor. Fuck that shit though. I can't deal with that attitude anymore. If I'm going to get to know them, I want them to know that I don't want to be their fanboy. I want to be their friend/equal. And that means reciprocal/mutual interest. If it's not there, then what's the point? Not here anymore for one-sided friendships or relationships.
 
N

Nohar

Member
I see that we had roughly the same experiences.
When I was young and really stupid (though, well, I didn't know better at the time), I had a crush on someone who was incredibly egocentric and petty, and who, in retrospect, treated me like crap, like his "fanboy". It took spending a week together on a trip for me to come to my senses and realize I deserved better (this was a very tedious week). This particular experience opened my eyes on many things, and I learned to respect myself after that.

I learned from my mistakes and now I only keep close people who I know I can trust, who know they can trust me, and with whom I have healthy relationships.
Finding the right people takes time, but it is important to keep in mind that "quality > quantity", something that someone close to me finally understand after she realized that me cutting ties with some of her friends wasn't cruel or harsh, but necessary and healthier. She followed my example after putting up with their betrayals and teen-dramas (well, they are all technically adults around 30 years old, but their behaviour makes you wonder how they can be so old and so childish at the same time) for far too long.
 
R

Replicant

Member
I think the problem is many of them don't realize this unless they are told. But doing that usually activate their defense mode so I'm done trying to verbally explain. So I've now been basically quiet and not initiating any conversation unless they return the favor from the last one. For some people, it's enough to jolt them into realization that if they appreciate our interactions then they also have to make efforts. For others though, JFC, you'd think an adult would realize that interaction is about give and take and not just take take take.
 
V

Vazduh

Member
Replicant said:
JFC, you'd think an adult would realize that interaction is about give and take and not just take take take.
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Sadly, a lot of people are like that.

Certain people I know say that they hate chatting/texting, which, when translated, stands for "I don't mind chatting/texting, but not with you".

I find it fascinating, though, how those same people are suddenly able to send me a fucking essay whenever they feel lonely or have no one else to turn to.
 
Garcia

Garcia

Member
Replicant said:
For others though, JFC, you'd think an adult would realize that interaction is about give and take and not just take take take.
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Take take people are usually narcissists, and narcissists are nothing but permanently whiny children who only appear to look older as they age.
 
Garcia

Garcia

Member
Nohar said:
I learned from my mistakes and now I only keep close people who I know I can trust, who know they can trust me, and with whom I have healthy relationships.
Finding the right people takes time, but it is important to keep in mind that "quality > quantity", something that someone close to me finally understand after she realized that me cutting ties with some of her friends wasn't cruel or harsh, but necessary and healthier. She followed my example after putting up with their betrayals and teen-dramas (well, they are all technically adults around 30 years old, but their behaviour makes you wonder how they can be so old and so childish at the same time) for far too long.
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I applaud you for this, as this is the same mantra I apply to my life. Somehow, you start to grow faster when you cut ties with all the people that kept draining your life away, and by faster I mean in orders of magnitude.
 
N

Natetan

Member
Nohar said:
I see that we had roughly the same experiences.
When I was young and really stupid (though, well, I didn't know better at the time), I had a crush on someone who was incredibly egocentric and petty, and who, in retrospect, treated me like crap, like his "fanboy". It took spending a week together on a trip for me to come to my senses and realize I deserved better (this was a very tedious week). This particular experience opened my eyes on many things, and I learned to respect myself after that.

I learned from my mistakes and now I only keep close people who I know I can trust, who know they can trust me, and with whom I have healthy relationships.
Finding the right people takes time, but it is important to keep in mind that "quality > quantity", something that someone close to me finally understand after she realized that me cutting ties with some of her friends wasn't cruel or harsh, but necessary and healthier. She followed my example after putting up with their betrayals and teen-dramas (well, they are all technically adults around 30 years old, but their behaviour makes you wonder how they can be so old and so childish at the same time) for far too long.
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Wow funny this conversation started when it did because I feel like I have the exact same problem and is why I started this thread.

http://m.neogaf.com/showthread.php?p=110731774#post110731774

I was more or less the fan boy for my 'best friend for like 30 years. I was dumb when I was young and I now realize he never respected me. He never made any effort to hang out with me either, yet I kept up the charade for decades out of some loyalty. It was hard letting that go. It was clear the friendship was about fulfilling my need for a best friend and not someone who was actually my best friend. Not something that is easy to admit to.

Anyway, you guys are all correct, it's about having an equal, yet it's so hard to get that. I don't think I ever have actually. Seems like you have to beforend people you aren't really interested in (and keep it that way) or else keep going down the fanboy route. If you start to care about someone you didn't care about they will inversely take you place and start to be one sided jerks. A friend of mine at work did this. He texted me to go for a drink just the two of us, so I was pumped thinking he was reciprocating, yet it was all just a setup to borrow money from me. Feels bad man :( It's so easy for me to fall into that fanboy role too since I've done it for so long. So hard to put up the self respect barrier, ha.

And since this the gay thread, I think it's why I'm so uncomfortable being a bottom in a relationship. I much prefer having both people be versatile because I want my partner to be my equal and share that experience. I don't want to be the bottom because most of the tops I've known or fallen for are jerks and want to be in control and don't care what I want.
 
D

Delio

Member
mantidor said:
I always find romance in comics so ridiculous heh, maybe not the story (and to be honest I don't know many), but the imagery is hilarious, like that overly heroic, busy background, capes flowing, explotions, and lastly a kiss lol not even soap operas are that corny.
Click to expand...

astonishingxmen_51_cover.jpg


main.jpg
 
Garcia

Garcia

Member
Natetan said:
Anyway, you guys are all correct, it's about having an equal, yet it's so hard to get that. I don't think I ever have actually.
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It's not hard to find people who reciprocate the friendship. The hard part is accepting that you have been admitting toxic people into your life and then moving on to cut ties with them (even relatives or family members, if that's the case).

Never settle for less than equals, else you will be walking the same path over and over again. Much better to be on your own than surrounded by people who will only take advantage of you on the first opportunity. Once you learn how to set boundaries, finding people who will positively affect your life won't be difficult.
 
N

Natetan

Member
Garcia said:
It's not hard to find people who reciprocate the friendship. The hard part is accepting that you have been admitting toxic people into your life and then moving on to cut ties with them (even relatives or family members, if that's the case).

Never settle for less than equals, else you will be walking the same path over and over again. Much better to be on your own than surrounded by people who will only take advantage of you on the first opportunity. Once you learn how to set boundaries, finding people who will positively affect your life won't be difficult.
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Yeah, you're absolutely right. I did a lot of cutting last year actually. Pretty much stopped talking to my 'best friend' and a couple of other people who dont treat me well. I am quite a bit on my own now though and it is a bit isolating i guess. I still feel like getting people I respect or want in my life to treat me as equals is difficult. Yeah I can slog along with people I'm not all that concerned with. Seems like the instant I desire something to happen, then it will by definition not happen or otherwise not be possible.

Anyway, perhaps I'm getting a bit off topic here...
 
B

Blood Diamonds

Banned
My Sister is probably moving out because of my parents.
the only person who I felt I was growing closer with in this family... and she's leaving..

All because she arrived drunk on Saturday and now they're calling her a slut and an alcoholic. I haven't even come out to her yet and I felt like I was finally getting comfortable with telling her. Sigh.
 
D

daripad

Member
I overreact everything but your parents are even worse than me, wtf?

Come out to her regardless, I think she knows already
 
B

Blood Diamonds

Banned
daripad said:
I overreact everything but your parents are even worse than me, wtf?

Come out to her regardless, I think she knows already
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The best part was when my mom said she would prefer if my sister told her she was pregnant than to see her show up drunk
this is like??the stupidest shit i've ever heard??? it's up there with the time she told me "Do you know what being Gay is? You have sex with men!"

Anyway... yeah I think she knows.. I mean I sing Lana del Rey songs in front of her so...
 
R

Replicant

Member
YoungBlade said:
?the stupidest shit i've ever heard??? it's up there with the time she told me "Do you know what being Gay is? You have sex with men!"
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This will never not be hilarious. It sounds like she tries to make it sound unappealing but to me that description is a complete and utter turn-on.
 
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