I used atkins to lose weight (Very low-carb diets) and actually the way you feel after doing atkins for a while does make you realise how evil carbs are haha.
Although since I've lost the weight, I now eat a lot of carbs and still manage to keep the weight off since I no longer over-eat every day.
Before: (And I was bigger than this previously but purely demonstrating how Atkins worked for me...)
Looks good regardles, but I also prefer the after pic Looking great!
In my case I have a rather weird appetite. On week days I pretty much never feel hungry until at least 3 p.m., which means I have only two meals most days :x So I guess my carb-heavy diet is not evil enough to make me gain weight. Plus I walk a lot, I'm not sure if that impacts my weight considerably.
Eating is not a problem anymore for me. I'm consistently eating 2000 calories a day and the weight a steadily coming off at a healthy rate (down 50 so far). I usually have enough of a deficit that if I want something "bad" I can enjoy it in moderation.
I just wish I had more dedication to my strength training.
Eating is not a problem anymore for me. I'm consistently eating 2000 calories a day and the weight a steadily coming off at a healthy rate (down 50 so far). I usually have enough of a deficit that if I want something "bad" I can enjoy it in moderation.
I just wish I had more dedication to my strength training.
I want some muscle, but while remaining skinny. I really, really should do something about it, though, it seems like simply wishing it doesn't work at all!
I want some muscle, but while remaining skinny. I really, really should do something about it, though, it seems like simply wishing it doesn't work at all!
I want some muscle, but while remaining skinny. I really, really should do something about it, though, it seems like simply wishing it doesn't work at all!
I can't force myself to eat as much as I should to keep all that mass, apparently.
I'm pretty happy with my flexibility and stamina though. Just wish my strength was a little more visible ;P I would be happy with just a little muscle definition
i saw dallas buyers club this weekend. i highly recommend it!
do any of you guys ever feel a sense of guilt about how easy we have it today, in comparison to gays in previous eras? or, do you feel guilty about not knowing more about gay history?
my bf is in the generation of gays depicted in dallas buyers club (80s) and he has told me awful stories about his childhood and journey to today. he also probably had a much easier time than a lot of others, which is even more depressing.
i just always find myself very upset after seeing a movie like that or reading about those times. i wish there was a class i could take on the subject. i don't want stories of those struggles to be forgotten and my lack of knowledge certainly isn't helping keep those stories alive.
i'm sure there are plenty of you who know a lot more than i (paging mumei). maybe i could be pointed in a direction where i could learn more about it all?
do any of you guys ever feel a sense of guilt about how easy we have it today, in comparison to gays in previous eras? or, do you feel guilty about not knowing more about gay history?
Honestly, no. I obviously don't want to be ignorant about it, but I can't say I go out of my way to learn a ton about it compared to other topics I care about. And nope, why would I feel guilty for "having it easier"? Humanity has been terribly cruel to all kinds of people, I don't think anyone should feel guilty for not being subject to such cruelty.
Sort of. It's less feeling guilty about having it easier than previous gays, and more feeling bad that even as the gay marriage movement is starting gain traction the transgender community is still just as marginalized as ever, even by the gay community. At least that is starting to get some ground with Carmen Carrera and her Victoria's Secret push.
I think I discovered why I was only able to feel that lump on my right testicle part of the time, while other times I couldn't feel it at all.
One month ago, when I visited my doctor, he told me to reexamine myself "in a month" to see if the lump was still there, so I examined myself yesterday and couldn't feel any lump but then I examined myself again today (after rubbing one out a few minutes before >___>) and I could feel the lump again!
When men and women become sexually aroused their bodies increase blood flow to their reproductive organs while the veins around the genitals constrict trapping the blood in the genitals. When this process, known as vasocongestion, occurs in men the penis becomes erect and the testicles engorge with blood causing them to swell to 25-50 percent of their normal size.
I realize now that I could only ever feel the lump when my testicles were engorged (i.e. jerking it before I took a shower and then examining myself afterwards. I didn't do this consciously, mind).
The lump is still there and it feels the same as ever (sort of hard and it starts to ache when I touch it), so obviously I'm still worried, and I do want to go get it checked out again, but I just don't really know how to approach my doctor about this.
"Hey doc, sorry you couldn't feel the lump last time: it wasn't because I was too cold, it was because I wasn't horny enough lol!
Is it a hot doctor? "Hey doc, I need you to arouse me first, THEN check me"
In all seriousness, approach your doctor honestly and clinically.
You can feel a lump, but only are able to feel it during or soon after arousal. It concerns you because it's causing you pain.
You absolutely will not be the first person they've encountered with a problem like this, or at the very least they'll have learnt about it when they studied to be a doctor.
As potentially embarrassing as it might be, tell your doctor exactly what you think your symptoms/causes are. A huge cause if incorrect diagnoses is people either being vague about their symptoms, lying to avoid embarrassment, or convincing themselves they have something after looking it up online and only presenting those symptoms at the doctor. Even if you're completely wrong about the potential cause and effect, it might give the doctor/nurse enough of an idea to run some tests, etc. to figure out exactly what the problem is. Trust me, as someone with plenty of friends in med school, they have and will see way more embarrassing/horrifying/unfortunate things that they probably won't even bat an eyelash at that. You'll be fine and the doctor won't think any thing of it except how to take care of your issue
do any of you guys ever feel a sense of guilt about how easy we have it today, in comparison to gays in previous eras? or, do you feel guilty about not knowing more about gay history?
No. I feel very grateful and thankful for the sacrifices they made.
I sort of wish I knew more about GLBT history, but then again I don't really go out of my way to learn about it. I'm no gay history scholar but I do enjoy reading about it whenever I stumble upon it. I find it strange how many American gays my age or younger don't even know about the Stonewall riots. I guess I wish GLBT history was more accessible, and taught more.
yeah, i read some pretty horrific things on some reddit page where people in the medical field talked about the worst things they've seen. i no longer have shame.*
*this is mostly attributed to having spent a few days in the hospital in november.
Barack Obama and Stephen Harper are coming to Toluca, Mexico next week, which is super random. I'm not sure why but that apparently translates into Obama-induced vacations for me! I'll skip work from February 15 to 23. Thanks, Obama!
Barack Obama and Stephen Harper are coming to Toluca, Mexico next week, which is super random. I'm not sure why but that apparently translates into Obama-induced vacations for me! I'll skip work from February 15 to 23. Thanks, Obama!
I used atkins to lose weight (Very low-carb diets) and actually the way you feel after doing atkins for a while does make you realise how evil carbs are haha.
Although since I've lost the weight, I now eat a lot of carbs and still manage to keep the weight off since I no longer over-eat every day.
Before: (And I was bigger than this previously but purely demonstrating how Atkins worked for me...)
It's basically avoiding carbs. IIRC Atkins gradually introduces carbs as you progress, but at first you can't even allow yourself to smell a cupcake, lol. Apparently it works because:
- Carbs are very calorie dense. You're removing soda, cake, potato chips, bread, pasta, pizza, etc. - and mostly everything sweet since some people think even fruit isn't allowed.
- Protein and fat are better at making you feel full, for longer.
- After some time of avoiding carbs, you enter into "ketosis" which is a state of elevated level of "ketone bodies". After about 48 hours of this process, the brain starts burning ketones in order to more directly use the energy from the fat stores that are being depended upon -Wikipedia.
I have mixed feelings about it. Some people at /r/keto are almost cult-like about it and claim calories and working out is irrelevant - that's downright silly, and plenty of people claim that they didn't lose weight on low-carb diets... because they were still over-eating. But if you're smart about it it seems like a rather quick way to lose weight. To me? It'd be torture, though, lol.
I think I discovered why I was only able to feel that lump on my right testicle part of the time, while other times I couldn't feel it at all.
One month ago, when I visited my doctor, he told me to reexamine myself "in a month" to see if the lump was still there, so I examined myself yesterday and couldn't feel any lump but then I examined myself again today (after rubbing one out a few minutes before >___>) and I could feel the lump again!
I realize now that I could only ever feel the lump when my testicles were engorged (i.e. jerking it before I took a shower and then examining myself afterwards. I didn't do this consciously, mind).
The lump is still there and it feels the same as ever (sort of hard and it starts to ache when I touch it), so obviously I'm still worried, and I do want to go get it checked out again, but I just don't really know how to approach my doctor about this.
"Hey doc, sorry you couldn't feel the lump last time: it wasn't because I was too cold, it was because I wasn't horny enough lol!
heh nothing you tell a doctor could surprise him. This is a very important fact that you didn't know so I think you should mention it straight out to him. I've heard of this condition before so while scary stuff like cancer might be out of the question you could still have something that requires attention.
No, lol, he's pretty old and has a sour puss. I'm curious to see what he'll do though - will he tell me to go jack off in the bathroom and then come back into the exam room so he can examine me, or will he just jump straight to an ultrasound?
In all seriousness, approach your doctor honestly and clinically.
You can feel a lump, but only are able to feel it during or soon after arousal. It concerns you because it's causing you pain.
You absolutely will not be the first person they've encountered with a problem like this, or at the very least they'll have learnt about it when they studied to be a doctor.
As potentially embarrassing as it might be, tell your doctor exactly what you think your symptoms/causes are. A huge cause if incorrect diagnoses is people either being vague about their symptoms, lying to avoid embarrassment, or convincing themselves they have something after looking it up online and only presenting those symptoms at the doctor. Even if you're completely wrong about the potential cause and effect, it might give the doctor/nurse enough of an idea to run some tests, etc. to figure out exactly what the problem is. Trust me, as someone with plenty of friends in med school, they have and will see way more embarrassing/horrifying/unfortunate things that they probably won't even bat an eyelash at that. You'll be fine and the doctor won't think any thing of it except how to take care of your issue
heh nothing you tell a doctor could surprise him. This is a very important fact that you didn't know so I think you should mention it straight out to him. I've heard of this condition before so while scary stuff like cancer might be out of the question you could still have something that requires attention.
Yeah, I guess you guys are right. Nothing I could say could shock a doctor (especially an older one who has lots of experience), but it's going to be pretty uncomfortable since my doc isn't the nicest guy in the world and always looks like he wants to get out of the exam room as quickly as possible.
So well, wow, I don't even know where to begin. I finally decided to go on a date with a guy a few weeks back. For those that don't know, that would be my first ever. It was great, we had a long discussion and sat back enjoying each other's company for several hours.
The only problem was I kept having doubts. As great as he is, he is an atheist, whereas I am a more spiritual person (not religious though). This was the first big concern, because I believe love to have a more timeless aspect whereas he probably does not. This really put a downer on my mood the more time we spent apart. That and his looks. Sadly, I'm a very superficial person. He looked great, like any other person where I could admire their beauty (their smile, hair, eyes, the way they speak, etc). However, I was not physically attracted to him. That should have been the end of it right then and there.
Instead, I sought out advice from my parents. They told me that I'm the only person who could possibly know if he is worth pursuing, but ALSO that meeting him again wouldn't hurt and seeing if things just develop naturally.
So long story short, I met him again yesterday. Kind of a spur of the moment thing. I invited him up to the town I worked at and gave him a bit of a tour, showing him my work/student life, and eventually my apartment. We chilled out for a while talking and whatever. Eventually, I decided to just let go of my insecurities and doubts and kissed him. I liked it so much I went in again. One thing led to another and we started making out. While I enjoyed my first kiss, the following were not nearly as enticing. They were awkward, repetitive, and felt almost passionless. I tried to cover it up and pretend I was enjoying myself.
My roommate then walked in and was like WTF. So he asked if instead we should move to my bedroom, which we did.
Only uncover if you really want to understand the next part.
Making out continued very awkwardly. And then some grinding. And then the clothes came off. That's when I really started wondering what the hell I was doing. I just wasn't attracted. I tried my hardest to make it seem like I was, focusing on the sensations of oral and kissing, but every time I saw him I could just feel this disgust (I feel very awful even using such a word, but I can't think of any other to describe it). I actually kind of felt sick in parts. Regardless I was all in, just letting my body go. I tried my hardest to make it seem like I was enjoying it, focusing primarily on pleasing him. I got him to cum and tasted semen for the first time, probs tmi. Anyways, it took me a long time to join him. I tried focusing on the sensations just to keep my dick hard. Eventually, I had to finish myself off because he grew tired.
Now, imagine if that was your first time: followed by awkward cleanup and walking him to the door.
Here come's the whole point of the post, advice:
Even if you like a person. Even if he is one of the most amazing people you have ever met, and you'd do anything to make him happy. Reevaluate how exactly you feel about that person. Make sure it is really love, and not some fascination or respect you might have for knowing or being friends with a stand-up dude. Make sure you have that deep connection, and are REALLY attracted to him.
Going through that was a nightmare. The funniest part is I finally realized what my parents meant. They want me to not worry about all those feelings I get from meeting someone, and instead just be myself. Don't try to make an impression. Don't try to be someone you're not. Just be yourself, and if it happens it happens. If it doesn't, it was never meant to be. As snappish of a judgement that might sound, it will pay off paying heed to it.
For one, you might avoid awkward sexing for starters. lol
I later found out (later being this evening) that he wasn't over his ex, which I had suspected from the moment I first met him. He was in an emotionally frail state. He apologized and told me that he didn't want me to think he was using me. Whatever that meant. I'm assuming getting back at his boyfriend for moving on too quickly. Regardless, I was happy to hear that the feeling of a lack of passion was very real. It felt good knowing it wasn't just me.
He and I then texted back several times where I encouraged him to open up and share these feelings with me more. To talk, text, chat, whatever. It was killing me to see him be so sad. It was heartbreaking. I wanted to do something to cheer him up. I offered him a shoulder for whenever he needs it (in a nonsexual way). Through those short messages I realized just what it was I loved about him. He is such a sincere, loving guy, that wasn't given the attention he deserved. So special. This was the realization of what it meant to be a friend.
And now we're friends. The end. I hope he never sees this bc he is such an awesome person, and I love him as one of my closest friends now, but I just needed to get that out.
/rant
/advice
PS - I'm sure I don't have everything figured out yet, and still have some things to mull over still.
The only problem was I kept having doubts. As great as he is, he is an atheist, whereas I am a more spiritual person (not religious though). This was the first big concern, because I believe love to have a more timeless aspect whereas he probably does not. This really put a downer on my mood the more time we spent apart.
i did read your entire post, but this really stood out to me. maybe you could explain it a more? i'm not sure i understand why it's a downer that he doesn't believe in an afterlife.
also, as underwhelming as your first sexual experience with a guy was, i must tell you that it is pretty common to have a lame first time. even when you're more experienced, the first time with any new individual can be awkward. it sounds like you got into something you didn't want to do in the first place though, so that certainly didn't help.
I asked a guy if he was getting a rose for anyone on Valentines Day (thing we do at our school) and he said yes. I asked who, he smiled and said, "you'll find out on Friday".
I used atkins to lose weight (Very low-carb diets) and actually the way you feel after doing atkins for a while does make you realise how evil carbs are haha.
Although since I've lost the weight, I now eat a lot of carbs and still manage to keep the weight off since I no longer over-eat every day.
Before: (And I was bigger than this previously but purely demonstrating how Atkins worked for me...)
My first time was amazing. Me and this guy seriously had sex for like 4 and a half hours. I always knew I was a naturally sexual person, and that experience just confirmed it for me.
He was significantly older than me (he was 34, I was 22), but he said that it was like I had been having sex for a long time... it just all seemed so natural to me - we've talked about it and honestly, we think we tried everything that night, haha -
oral, penetration, cuddling, etc.
and like I said, it all seemed so natural to me.
I was very lucky that my first time was so amazing. Thankfully, all of my sexual encounters have been very enjoyable and long sessions. I'm sure I'll run into one, though, where we just are not sexually compatible at all.
Today my sister ended up following my blog and I was freaking out so bad lol, but then I remembered once she saw a porn post and unfollowed that person so I rebloged three gay porn gifs and she unfollowed. I feel so relieved now, she didn't know it was my blog.
I can't stand this anymore. I dunno if you guys remember about me complaining about how I just can't bring myself to confess to one of my (probably straight) friends a few months back. Well, I still haven't done it, but I feel like if I was gonna do it I'll have to do it before this Friday.
So, here's what I'm gonna do (if I have the courage to go through with it, at least):
Step 1: Text him saying that I have something important to tell him and to meet me. I feel like just bringing this out of the blue in a regular conversation will just make it seem awkward.
Step 2: When the time comes, I'll say what I want to say, hopefully without incurring a stroke.
Step 3a: Ask him to be my Valentine if he seems... "receptive" after Step 2. Yeah, cheesy, but I really do have strong feelings for him.
Step 3b: If he instead seems to be confused or just outright says "no", ABORT ABORT ABORT. I really do not want to lose my friend over this, which is why I was too afraid to say anything previously.
To be honest, I'm frightened as heck about this. Regardless of the outcome, I've never done this sort of thing before, and if it isn't meant to be then I'd still want us to remain friends. I honestly wonder if I can even go through with this, even though I know that if I don't I'll always regret it. We'll both be graduating with CS degrees this semester, and will soon find ourselves at different parts of the country. It'll be too late by then.
I'd do Step 1 right now, but we both are taking a test tomorrow and I'd rather not let him or me not lose any our focus. So I'm gonna proceed along with this plan on Thursday... I hope.
How do you start not liking yourself? we all thought we were the shit once, usually when little kids, so the reverse process might be hard and long because slowly but steadily society has hammered down those thoughts, but it's not impossible. Just ask what it is that you don't like about yourself and decide to throw it out of the window, or to love it, whatever works best, realistically, if you don't like being gay (hypothetical of course), you can't throw it out of the window, so love it, if you don't like something like your career path you can certainly throw it out of the window, choosing seems difficult but it actually isn't.
I'm no expert but I've improved in self esteem a bit and that line of thought has worked for me.
I think we enter into a funny trap where we try to coerce our mind into complying with our wishes, basically trying to argue our way out of a particular perspective that we've probably had to some degree since we were children, while never really understanding what it is or what function or necessity it has served us all this time or what an alternative would be, which is quite literally treating yourself as an enemy, which isn't a very helpful attitude for a self-esteem problem. Like "you're good at so many things, and lots of people love you. Why can't you see yourself the same way? You suck", that kind of self-talk. I won't say that that's responsible for the problem, but for me it's one big thing that nourishes it. My beginning to even only understand it was preceded by adopting a perspective completely different from my normal mode of 'self-regulating'. It was just for a moment, but that lead me to realize that there was actually an alternative, which is hard if you've been viewing the world through one particular lens for so long that it has fused almost entirely to your faculty of seeing. I assume that's the basis of cognitive therapy, exercising self-control is often necessary, but we probably fail to realize that the self-talk or internal dialogue is disproportionately cruel. I guess that much must be obvious though.
To risk going into some kind ridiculous 'neurophrenology' tangent or something, I remember reading that our right amygdala (associated with feeling unsafe, threatened, or at an extreme even suicidal ideation) is closely linked to the right hippocampus (which in relation to the left hippocampus is seen as more positive, being associated with approach interest/novelty, art/aesthetics/music/spatial thinking, etc). The left amygdala is supposedly associated with feelings of safety, or at an extreme even joy or bliss, but it's linked to the left hippocampus which is more associated with literal or language based thinking and linear reasoning. I don't know how true this really is, I know the whole 'right brain, left brain' thing isn't really in favor, if it ever was by those in the know. But it's perhaps interesting that these patterns in behavior are possibly more neurological than 'meritological' (a word I may have just made up). Like this stuff happens because a preferred kind of cognitive activity just naturally flows 'downhill' into a closely associated structure just due to a kind of simple brain proximity. I don't really mean to suggest that to encourage fatalism or hopelessness or anything (on the contrary), rather to dispel the sometimes appealing notion that we're this way because something is deeply flawed about us Maybe in most situations there are penalties for viewing the world in any particular way at all, until we learn to strike the right balance, or something. I'm sleep deprived I hope this isn't completely incoherent.
i did read your entire post, but this really stood out to me. maybe you could explain it a more? i'm not sure i understand why it's a downer that he doesn't believe in an afterlife.
also, as underwhelming as your first sexual experience with a guy was, i must tell you that it is pretty common to have a lame first time. even when you're more experienced, the first time with any new individual can be awkward. it sounds like you got into something you didn't want to do in the first place though, so that certainly didn't help.
It's not so much the atheism as it was a reply to a question I asked him. He thought eternity would be boring therefore it shouldn't exist. Whereas I would love a form of eternity where I could at least remember or feel like I could "go to him" or anybody else for that matter long after death. I would have wanted him to be as worried about eternal separation from loved ones as I am, since that is what I'm currently going through. I'm already having a tough time preparing to say goodbye to my dad who has been showing signs of alzheimer's for a while. And I just turned 25. It kills me to even consider never being able to see him again when he does pass.
My first time was amazing. Me and this guy seriously had sex for like 4 and a half hours. I always knew I was a naturally sexual person, and that experience just confirmed it for me.
He was significantly older than me (he was 34, I was 22), but he said that it was like I had been having sex for a long time... it just all seemed so natural to me - we've talked about it and honestly, we think we tried everything that night, haha -
oral, penetration, cuddling, etc.
and like I said, it all seemed so natural to me.
I was very lucky that my first time was so amazing. Thankfully, all of my sexual encounters have been very enjoyable and long sessions. I'm sure I'll run into one, though, where we just are not sexually compatible at all.
The guy I had my partial first with kept asking me if everything was a first for me and swore I was really experienced when it came to lovemaking. I also thought he was lying, and we broke up. So he probs was. lol
I can't stand this anymore. I dunno if you guys remember about me complaining about how I just can't bring myself to confess to one of my (probably straight) friends a few months back. Well, I still haven't done it, but I feel like if I was gonna do it I'll have to do it before this Friday.
So, here's what I'm gonna do (if I have the courage to go through with it, at least):
Step 1: Text him saying that I have something important to tell him and to meet me. I feel like just bringing this out of the blue in a regular conversation will just make it seem awkward.
Step 2: When the time comes, I'll say what I want to say, hopefully without incurring a stroke.
Step 3a: Ask him to be my Valentine if he seems... "receptive" after Step 2. Yeah, cheesy, but I really do have strong feelings for him.
Step 3b: If he instead seems to be confused or just outright says "no", ABORT ABORT ABORT. I really do not want to lose my friend over this, which is why I was too afraid to say anything previously.
To be honest, I'm frightened as heck about this. Regardless of the outcome, I've never done this sort of thing before, and if it isn't meant to be then I'd still want us to remain friends. I honestly wonder if I can even go through with this, even though I know that if I don't I'll always regret it. We'll both be graduating with CS degrees this semester, and will soon find ourselves at different parts of the country. It'll be too late by then.
I'd do Step 1 right now, but we both are taking a test tomorrow and I'd rather not let him or me not lose any our focus. So I'm gonna proceed along with this plan on Thursday... I hope.
So I was ready to hookup with this guy from grindr，he sent me a few hot pics I sent a selfie
and a dick pic
. He was all good. He asked me where I came from， I said Venezuela and a few minutes later the chat disappeared. The asshole blocked me， didn't he?.
I can't stand this anymore. I dunno if you guys remember about me complaining about how I just can't bring myself to confess to one of my (probably straight) friends a few months back. Well, I still haven't done it, but I feel like if I was gonna do it I'll have to do it before this Friday.
So, here's what I'm gonna do (if I have the courage to go through with it, at least):
Step 1: Text him saying that I have something important to tell him and to meet me. I feel like just bringing this out of the blue in a regular conversation will just make it seem awkward.
Step 2: When the time comes, I'll say what I want to say, hopefully without incurring a stroke.
Step 3a: Ask him to be my Valentine if he seems... "receptive" after Step 2. Yeah, cheesy, but I really do have strong feelings for him.
Step 3b: If he instead seems to be confused or just outright says "no", ABORT ABORT ABORT. I really do not want to lose my friend over this, which is why I was too afraid to say anything previously.
To be honest, I'm frightened as heck about this. Regardless of the outcome, I've never done this sort of thing before, and if it isn't meant to be then I'd still want us to remain friends. I honestly wonder if I can even go through with this, even though I know that if I don't I'll always regret it. We'll both be graduating with CS degrees this semester, and will soon find ourselves at different parts of the country. It'll be too late by then.
I'd do Step 1 right now, but we both are taking a test tomorrow and I'd rather not let him or me not lose any our focus. So I'm gonna proceed along with this plan on Thursday... I hope.
I tend to be pessimistic about these situations, my only advice would be, yup, be very careful and indeed abort as soon as you notice a lack of receptiveness. Is there any particular reason that makes you think he's not straight?
I can't stand this anymore. I dunno if you guys remember about me complaining about how I just can't bring myself to confess to one of my (probably straight) friends a few months back. Well, I still haven't done it, but I feel like if I was gonna do it I'll have to do it before this Friday.
So, here's what I'm gonna do (if I have the courage to go through with it, at least):
Step 1: Text him saying that I have something important to tell him and to meet me. I feel like just bringing this out of the blue in a regular conversation will just make it seem awkward.
Step 2: When the time comes, I'll say what I want to say, hopefully without incurring a stroke.
Step 3a: Ask him to be my Valentine if he seems... "receptive" after Step 2. Yeah, cheesy, but I really do have strong feelings for him.
Step 3b: If he instead seems to be confused or just outright says "no", ABORT ABORT ABORT. I really do not want to lose my friend over this, which is why I was too afraid to say anything previously.
To be honest, I'm frightened as heck about this. Regardless of the outcome, I've never done this sort of thing before, and if it isn't meant to be then I'd still want us to remain friends. I honestly wonder if I can even go through with this, even though I know that if I don't I'll always regret it. We'll both be graduating with CS degrees this semester, and will soon find ourselves at different parts of the country. It'll be too late by then.
I'd do Step 1 right now, but we both are taking a test tomorrow and I'd rather not let him or me not lose any our focus. So I'm gonna proceed along with this plan on Thursday... I hope.
i don't know your friend, but if you're going to do this, you need to be okay with the fact that you might lose the friendship. i'm not even talking about homophobia or anything like that. friendships completely change when one person confesses love to the other. you say that you'll likely be on opposite sides of the country after graduating, so maybe it really isn't a big deal. it's hard to really keep a friendship going with that kind of distance anyway. by the way, i'm not outright saying that you shouldn't do this, especially if it's been tearing you up inside for months not knowing. just don't expect things to be the same afterwards.
if you're committed to doing it, then definitely wait until after the exam. you don't want either of you to be upset before a test.
So I was ready to hookup with this guy from grindr，he sent me a few hot pics I sent a selfie
and a dick pic
. He was all good. He asked me where I came from， I said Venezuela and a few minutes later the chat disappeared. The asshole blocked me， didn't he?.
what the fuck? i don't even understand why someone would do that. if i were you, i'd just laugh it off and not take it personally. i'm not really sure how grindr works either, but it sounds like he blocked you. it could be for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with you (an ex started chatting with him?).
So I was ready to hookup with this guy from grindr，he sent me a few hot pics I sent a selfie
and a dick pic
. He was all good. He asked me where I came from， I said Venezuela and a few minutes later the chat disappeared. The asshole blocked me， didn't he?.
Sounds like he blocked you. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it, that type of app is pretty much based on the physical preference of both individuals and as so many people are generally willing, people can afford to be assholes like the person you mentioned. Also it goes without saying that condoms are going to be absolutely essential (more so than usual that is) if you do end up meeting anybody; I have no actual statistics on this matter, but I imagine the percentage of individuals with STDs are higher on hook-up sites/apps than in the general population (not to be condescending or anything, just something that certainly cannot be emphasized enough). Sorry this didn't work out but clearly you are better off without him, particularly since it's such an inconsequential thing.
No, any professional help is not an option for me unfortunately as I just keep my problems as secret because they all relate to each other and I don't want my father to know about some of them.
The gain is due to overeating. I've been doing excersice at least four times a week, though I run less that I used to because I get tired more easily now. Being alone while doing it hasn't been a problem, I like that moment because I can think about stuff while listening to my favorite music and no one interrupts me. Is like having my deserved lonely moment.
I actually planed to finish my weight loss last year to start working out currently but I didn't get to my goal and I'm stuck gaining weight again, so I'd have to lose it again.
Well, in the absence of progessional help, I would certainly consider the 'reward' programme to eating in more manageable amounts which was suggested. Excercise not being an issue is a major positive though, it should be easier to try and tackle the weight that has been put on with your current routine maintained and hopefully you'll be able to return to your previous distances. Ultimately, I think the emphasis placed on your ability to control the situation is important. By focusing on the thoughts that you are 'powerless' to stop it, it may turn into a self-defeating attitude, yet as you've demonstrated with your previous weight-loss, you do have the power to combat it. Similarly, it isn't "weight you'd have to lose again", but "weight to lose"; I know it's probably a semantic difference, but the former is much more negative than the latter, and considering you do want to lose the weight, it shouldn't be viewed in a negative light. Hopefully by continuously focusing on this positive concept, combined with a reward programme to eating more manageable amounts, you'll be able to reach your goal, or at the very least maintain a weight that you are happy with.
EDIT: I've just been made aware of the "Homophobia Debate" on The Saturday Night Live Show from the first of February and while I was not expecting it to reasonable I must admit I'm somewhat embarassed, and appalled, by what I've heard, with charming lines such as "I do not accept as a proposition that anyone who opposes marriage equality, or potentially the propostion that anyone who is apprehensive about marriage equality, or on the side of marriage equality, is someway homophobic" and "If somebone calls you a homophobe, you find it quite upsetting". It defies belief.
For anybody who wants to hear this shameful 'debate', http://www.rte.ie/player/ie/show/10248675/ It is at roughly fifty-five minutes. I beleive you have to be in Ireland to watch, but I imagine it's available to view with something like Hola Unblocker.
So I was ready to hookup with this guy from grindr，he sent me a few hot pics I sent a selfie
and a dick pic
. He was all good. He asked me where I came from， I said Venezuela and a few minutes later the chat disappeared. The asshole blocked me， didn't he?.
Hi everyone, so i know i don't usually post on here-like ever- but this situation really pissed me off the other day, as winners sucks :/ this is in regards to IceDoesntHelp, as they are my partner (as i don't know which to refer to right now-girlfriend or boyfriend- so lets stick with this ) the following is the letter of complaint i wrote to the Winners department of Canada, as the manager of a Winners branch had accused of of stealing clothing. So here we go. Im just extremely upset and needed to have a shared rant. i may have been a little harsh. The "----" are just to hide the date time and place, for safety or any legal reasons/issues i guess
In regards to what happened on February ---, at approximately 7pm at the Winners ----location, I find the matter offending and a defamation of character to say the least. For an employee to infer such heinous behavior after trying on -in the store- and assessing which articles of clothing both my partner and I were going to buy, is unprofessional and insensitive. The implication of stealing has made both of us feel extremely offended and personally besmirched, as even other shoppers who may have heard the conversation, may have gotten the wrong idea from such a statement. Let me ask this, what is the purpose of having ink tags on clothing and tag alarms at the front door if a manager is so freely available to take it upon themselves to single shoppers out within the store for suspected stealing? Of which we would never even think about doing, and have never done before. If we were to walk out of the store with unpaid merchandise, then accusing of stealing would be completely acceptable, and we, as customers, would be in the wrong. However, this was not the case, as we had merely tried on clothing in a fitting room.
My partner is a newly transgendered woman who is in a difficult spot with the physical changes right now, and would like to try on clothing “she” (as I am going to refer to my partner from here on out as), would like to own for later occasions when more progress is made to acceptably pass as a woman. If the question was if she was going to steal the clothing for me, his female counterpart, I am a 5’’4, 165Lb woman, size 11-12 or large in woman’s clothing, and she, a 5’’5, 110Lb size 1-2 in woman’s clothing. My left leg would not even fit into one waist size piece of clothing she was trying on. Initially, when going into the change rooms to try on the clothing, she put the female clothing under a man’s piece of clothing, with all of the hangers on top showing. As you can sympathize with, she was slightly embarrassed and sensitive to the matter as she was dressed in public as a physical man that day, and going into the men’s change room with woman’s clothing is a bold and hard thing to do. There was no problem with presenting the articles, just the awkward sense of judgment from the opposite woman serving us. Because of the manager’s accusation upon returning with all accountable and intact clothing articles, she has felt embarrassed about what happened and is reluctant to try on clothing in the future. She was made to feel wrong, and that in itself is appalling. I do not feel it is necessary to justify why we (as paying customers) would have to indulge all personal information in order to unsuspiciously or normally try on clothing of which was intended to be purchased. Approximately 8 pieces of clothing ranging from dress tops to dresses and pants (of which we were on our way out to purchase) were left at the store because of the manager’s ludicrous statement and assumption.
In short, this situation has made us out to feel attacked and vulnerable, and was far from a simple statement. It has left us extremely and deeply offended, embarrassed, and quite frankly, pissed off, and we now have absolutely no intention of returning to any winners location of which we were previously happily paying customers.
I am extremely upset-livid in fact-and would like something done to make up for the upsetting dense and inapt behaviors and approach in which the manager had accused us. My strong wording and livid stance arise from the situation in which your customer service employee has invoked. My partner is now distraught and offended, and so am i. This matter is unacceptable in my eyes and I will be so inclined to take this matter further if nothing is resolved or done to help the situation. I expect nothing less.
It was definitely weird since he said it was up to me (if we should meet). Anyway it's cool. I was talking to another guy who I thought was cute and "No NSA. Not into one nighters".
That was nice for a change. He said he's going away tomorrow so I doubt we'll meet but I told him to let me know if he wanted to hang around.
How do you start not liking yourself? we all thought we were the shit once, usually when little kids, so the reverse process might be hard and long because slowly but steadily society has hammered down those thoughts, but it's not impossible. Just ask what it is that you don't like about yourself and decide to throw it out of the window, or to love it, whatever works best, realistically, if you don't like being gay (hypothetical of course), you can't throw it out of the window, so love it, if you don't like something like your career path you can certainly throw it out of the window, choosing seems difficult but it actually isn't.
I'm no expert but I've improved in self esteem a bit and that line of thought has worked for me.
I think we enter into a funny trap where we try to coerce our mind into complying with our wishes, basically trying to argue our way out of a particular perspective that we've probably had to some degree since we were children, while never really understanding what it is or what function or necessity it has served us all this time or what an alternative would be, which is quite literally treating yourself as an enemy, which isn't a very helpful attitude for a self-esteem problem. Like "you're good at so many things, and lots of people love you. Why can't you see yourself the same way? You suck", that kind of self-talk. I won't say that that's responsible for the problem, but for me it's one big thing that nourishes it. My beginning to even only understand it was preceded by adopting a perspective completely different from my normal mode of 'self-regulating'. It was just for a moment, but that lead me to realize that there was actually an alternative, which is hard if you've been viewing the world through one particular lens for so long that it has fused almost entirely to your faculty of seeing. I assume that's the basis of cognitive therapy, exercising self-control is often necessary, but we probably fail to realize that the self-talk or internal dialogue is disproportionately cruel. I guess that much must be obvious though.
To risk going into some kind ridiculous 'neurophrenology' tangent or something, I remember reading that our right amygdala (associated with feeling unsafe, threatened, or at an extreme even suicidal ideation) is closely linked to the right hippocampus (which in relation to the left hippocampus is seen as more positive, being associated with approach interest/novelty, art/aesthetics/music/spatial thinking, etc). The left amygdala is supposedly associated with feelings of safety, or at an extreme even joy or bliss, but it's linked to the left hippocampus which is more associated with literal or language based thinking and linear reasoning. I don't know how true this really is, I know the whole 'right brain, left brain' thing isn't really in favor, if it ever was by those in the know. But it's perhaps interesting that these patterns in behavior are possibly more neurological than 'meritological' (a word I may have just made up). Like this stuff happens because a preferred kind of cognitive activity just naturally flows 'downhill' into a closely associated structure just due to a kind of simple brain proximity. I don't really mean to suggest that to encourage fatalism or hopelessness or anything (on the contrary), rather to dispel the sometimes appealing notion that we're this way because something is deeply flawed about us Maybe in most situations there are penalties for viewing the world in any particular way at all, until we learn to strike the right balance, or something. I'm sleep deprived I hope this isn't completely incoherent.
I can honestly say that I have no idea about his orientation. I can't detect things like that. The only "clue" I have is that he implied that he is single (we were talking about Valentine's Day the other day, I said that I have no Valentine because I'm "forever alone", and he replied with a "yeah" in a way that meant "me too"), which struck me as odd because he's a very attractive guy who would easily find a date if he tried. Although, he may just not be interested in finding any sort of relationship so that he can focus on his schoolwork and such.
Anyways, a slight change of plans. I think that instead of doing Step 2, I'll skip right to giving him a Valentine's Day gift when I meet up with him. To be honest, I'm horrible at explaining myself to others, and actions speak louder than words here. Giving him that gift would tell him all that he needs to know, hopefully.
And if he doesn't accept the gift as a Valentine, then I'll just give it to him as a present from a friend. That should at least keep things mellow between us.
Looking great!
