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LGBThread |OT4| We're (still) Here! We're (still) Queer!

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B

BlueBadger

Banned
daripad said:
BlueBadger, post your Ash cosplay again hahaha
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Only 'cuz I'm really proud of it!! *blush*

vdHN8P9.jpg
 
H

Haly

One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
Now start walking into walls and checking your helix fossil.
 
R

RatskyWatsky

Hunky Nostradamus
Grakl said:
y u mad tho
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I've found that Froakie fans are the most laid back of the bunch. They usually don't start shit unless chespin fans (I don't think Fennekin has any fans) decide to stir things up by mentioning their shitty starter choice (I guess they feel the need to bring it up so often because they need to convince themselves that they made the right choice hint: they didn't) and then the Froakies feel compelled to try to enlighten the chespins but it's usually to no avail.
 
U

umop_3pisdn

Member
Caladrius said:
I tend to hesitate immensely before finally taking action, mostly because I know it's difficult to undo something, especially when it involves interpersonal relationships. I think having that always in the back of my head leads me to considering things for a very long time, overthinking it and eventually becoming paralyzed because there's too much contradictory reasoning and emotion going into it.

Also, I never mentioned having to move on from a love interest.;p

Though that actually is related to what I've been thinking about lately. I left my first love nearly a year ago and I've been thinking about whether or not that was the right thing to do ever since. How I did it was indisputably wrong (I just cut off contact completely like a putz because I didn't know how to approach the problem), but part of me in the back of my head still wonders if it could have gone somewhere if I had hung in there.

I left him due to a mixture of family problems that made a relationship with me toxic and because of the fact that he was noncommital about a long-distance relationship after nearly 5 years of flirting and social engagement.
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Honestly I'm not sure why it should matter, there's an element of an unexamined value judgement behind that line of reasoning. Most decisions have an aspect of finality to them, it's arguably the entire reason why they're meaningful. You're just using your judgement to move through life like in all other areas of life. I get that there's insecurity in exercising that judgement, but apprehension is either empowering or a burden. This is obviously the latter, and burdens can be fine if we have the capacity to either freely choose them, or own them. What makes this a worthy one?

People are generally resilient and not that self-centered, the worthwhile ones are anyways. Manners are what prevents us from burning bridges. If you're respectful of others it's no longer your responsibility how people take it. Speaking as someone also subject to 'analysis paralysis', overthinking is probably an important factor in you dropping off the face of the planet and responding to that situation in a less than ideal way. You mentally set up a double-bind scenario, and eventually the stress of that becomes such that you just take the easiest path to 'resolve' the imaginary double-bind, which is often ignoring the entirety of the problem. And then the anxiety and guilt resulting from that sabotages even more self-confidence, so you spend turns ignoring that, and it adds even more urgency to the imaginary double bind, so then when it emerges again you're likely to play out a worse form of the same thought processes and make the exact same decision all over again, etc. At least that's how it has been for me. And of course you would, you've left yourself no other options. But being self-honest is an option, and self-forgiveness is an option.

And I never said anything about a love interest, either! In fact I wasn't thinking in those terms at all :p

It's reasonable to doubt things like that, I mean often we don't even understand the motives for why we do what we do. But figuring that out is the key to all of it. Often we have a set of compulsive tendencies that are directly at the root of it, and they can be practically impenetrable, and dismantling them is akin to dismantling an unconscious support system that we didn't even realize we needed, but it's essentially a choice between that and continuing as is. I'm not saying that that's what it is, but filtered through my own experience it kind of seems that way. But if so it can't be forced, you have to be gentle with yourself, and no one can know what's really appropriate for you right now.
 
C

Caladrius

Member
umop_3pisdn said:
Honestly I'm not sure why it should matter, there's an element of an unexamined value judgement behind that line of reasoning. Most decisions have an aspect of finality to them, it's arguably the entire reason why they're meaningful. You're just using your judgement to move through life like in all other areas of life. I get that there's insecurity in exercising that judgement, but apprehension is either empowering or a burden. This is obviously the latter, and burdens can be fine if we have the capacity to either freely choose them, or own them. What makes this a worthy one?

People are generally resilient and not that self-centered, the worthwhile ones are anyways. Manners are what prevents us from burning bridges. If you're respectful of others it's no longer your responsibility how people take it. Speaking as someone also subject to 'analysis paralysis', overthinking is probably an important factor in you dropping off the face of the planet and responding to that situation in a less than ideal way. You mentally set up a double-bind scenario, and eventually the stress of that becomes such that you just take the easiest path to 'resolve' the imaginary double-bind, which is often ignoring the entirety of the problem. And then the anxiety and guilt resulting from that sabotages even more self-confidence, so you spend turns ignoring that, and it adds even more urgency to the imaginary double bind, so then when it emerges again you're likely to play out a worse form of the same thought processes and make the exact same decision all over again, etc. At least that's how it has been for me. And of course you would, you've left yourself no other options. But being self-honest is an option, and self-forgiveness is an option.

And I never said anything about a love interest, either! In fact I wasn't thinking in those terms at all :p

It's reasonable to doubt things like that, I mean often we don't even understand the motives for why we do what we do. But figuring that out is the key to all of it. Often we have a set of compulsive tendencies that are directly at the root of it, and they can be practically impenetrable, and dismantling them is akin to dismantling an unconscious support system that we didn't even realize we needed, but it's essentially a choice between that and continuing as is. I'm not saying that that's what it is, but filtered through my own experience it kind of seems that way. But if so it can't be forced, you have to be gentle with yourself, and no one can know what's really appropriate for you right now.
Click to expand...

I think that hesitation can be somewhat helpful when one's at a major financial or life crossroads, since one needs to consider everything that can happen with stakes that high. I agree that it probably has no purpose in a personal affair, especially one where I need to accept and bury old decisions as having happened and moving on to something else.

Much of what I do and what a lot of my personal hangups are seem like they're motivated by guilt. That would explain why I keep revisiting old problems long after most people would have left them for dead and second-guessing all of my decisions.

I suppose there really isn't a point in lingering on it (other than as a learning experience for when and how to jump ship), especially since any action at this point could only do more damage. Thanks.
 
R

RM8

Member
Henchmen21 said:
This. Guys there are already threads gaming side to discuss Pokeman, can we keep it confined there?
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There are plenty of recurring non-gay topics in this thread (PopGAF, Pokémon, fitness/health, TV, movies, etc.) and in theory there's a separate thread for all of those - IMHO if people are talking about stuff you don't want to talk about, you should spark a new conversation you actually want to have. Because really, there's so much stuff you can talk about in this thread without going off-topic, and in my opinion it's rude to tell people to stop talking about something without even introducing a new topic.
 
B

BlueBadger

Banned
Rm88~ said:
There are plenty of recurring non-gay topics in this thread (PopGAF, Pokémon, fitness/health, TV, movies, etc.) and in theory there's a separate thread for all of those - IMHO if people are talking about stuff you don't want to talk about, you should spark a new conversation you actually want to have. Because really, there's so much stuff you can talk about in this thread without going off-topic, and in my opinion it's rude to tell people to stop talking about something without even introducing a new topic.
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This. :]

daripad said:
Chubby bunny?
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Yeah it's that challenge where you put a marshmallow in your mouth at a time and try to say the words "chubby bunny" clearly! If you can say it clearly with the most marshmallows in your mouth at a time, you win :O!
 
H

Haly

One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
BlueBadger said:
Yeah it's that challenge where you put a marshmallow in your mouth at a time and try to say the words "chubby bunny" clearly! If you can say it clearly with the most marshmallows in your mouth at a time, you win :O!
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Sounds kawaii as fuck.
 
D

dragonlife

Member
BlueBadger said:
I only have it on Facebook tbh! well I also have it saved on my computer, of course. LOL! I'm not sure how to share it?
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YouTube, silly man. You can also make the video unlisted so only people with the link can view it. You could then put that link in e-mail tags so only people in this thread can see the link when quoting.
 
B

BlueBadger

Banned
dragonlife said:
YouTube, silly man. You can also make the video unlisted so only people with the link can view it. You could then put that link in e-mail tags so only people in this thread can see the link when quoting.
Click to expand...

I... Is there some kind of step-by-step tutorial for that last part? LOLLL!
 
M

mantidor

Member
The thirst is real.

Last night I let my coworkers take me for a drink, and as always I ended up drinking a lot, we also ended up talking to some guys from the US and I kind of flirted with one of them, I hope my coworkers didn´t find that too awkward heh it's odd how most of my social circle is just straight guys and women.
 
R

RM8

Member
mantidor said:
The thirst is real.

Last night I let my coworkers take me for a drink, and as always I ended up drinking a lot, we also ended up talking to some guys from the US and I kind of flirted with one of them, I hope my coworkers didn´t find that too awkward heh it's odd how most of my social circle is just straight guys and women.
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My social circle has always consisted of straight guys. How do I even change that? I had one gay friend, we met on a dating site. It turned out we just didn't have a lot in common and drifted apart. "We're both homo" doesn't seem like a great way to form a friendship :p
 
B

btkadams

Member
Rm88~ said:
My social circle has always consisted of straight guys. How do I even change that? I had one gay friend, we met on a dating site. It turned out we just didn't have a lot in common and drifted apart. "We're both homo" doesn't seem like a great way to form a friendship :p
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there are some gay gaffers that have what seems like a million gay friends all over the place. i'm not sure how they do it. i talk pretty frequently to dustytruly and i'm still not sure how he meets them all. real life gay circles have eluded me as well. i think i have 5 gay friends that i've hung out with in person, with only maybe 1 that i talk to often.
 
G

Grakl

Member
Rm88~ said:
My social circle has always consisted of straight guys. How do I even change that? I had one gay friend, we met on a dating site. It turned out we just didn't have a lot in common and drifted apart. "We're both homo" doesn't seem like a great way to form a friendship :p
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no reason to try to change it, because like you said - being gay isn't a good reason to become friends with someone else.
 
M

mantidor

Member
Rm88~ said:
My social circle has always consisted of straight guys. How do I even change that? I had one gay friend, we met on a dating site. It turned out we just didn't have a lot in common and drifted apart. "We're both homo" doesn't seem like a great way to form a friendship :p
Click to expand...

heh I have like 1 gay friend, who stopped talking to me because I messed up when drunk, but I don't remember so I have no idea what happened.

I'm also perfectly ok with my friends and I love them very much, but the lack of gay friends is probably the reason I'm still single and have a hard time finding someone. So I personally see it as somewhat of a necessity.
 
V

Via Purifico

Banned
I tried making gay friends so we could go to gay outings and such and it never works out.
The one gay friend I do have here doesn't really talk to me so meh.
I'm good with the friends I have.
 
B

BlueBadger

Banned
btkadams said:
there are some gay gaffers that have what seems like a million gay friends all over the place. i'm not sure how they do it. i talk pretty frequently to dustytruly and i'm still not sure how he meets them all. real life gay circles have eluded me as well. i think i have 5 gay friends that i've hung out with in person, with only maybe 1 that i talk to often.
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I have a grand total of 1 gay friend irl LOL! Most of my really close friends are girls :) I don't mind ya all though I love my friends. The gay community where I am is, generally (but not entirely I'm sure) pretty rotten and superficial anyway.
 
B

Bladenic

Member
BlueBadger said:
Welp I'm officially ready for my birthday in a couple weeks :O!! Thank GAWD it fits LOLL!
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I know I'm late, but this is so cute. Wish I had this when I turned 22 haha. Maybe I can find a 23 shirt for my 23rd birthday haha.

Edit: I got: traditional roles are meaningless

Cool, but
Im a top
 
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