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LGBTQIA+ :)OT6(: We’re taking over -- first the alphabet, then the world!

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E

Escape Goat

Member
Kangi said:
Make a friend in an online game, he proceeds to call me a faggot in a "friendly" way.

gnk4jvu.gif
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Did you tell him you dont appreciate that term?
 
D

Dany

Banned
Who bought short shorts? I bought short shorts! :D They're so comfy, though I don't think I'll wear them outside the house anytime soon. This weather staaaanks
 
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DOWN

Banned
justice7.jpg

justice2.jpg
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Justice Joslin
Dany said:
Who bought short shorts? I bought short shorts! :D They're so comfy, though I don't think I'll wear them outside the house anytime soon. This weather staaaanks
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I don't wear shorts anymore but I wish I were going on vacation and then I'd buy some. They feel too casual to me around here and aren't really my favorite style, but there's good occasion for them still in mind.
 
DOWN

DOWN

Banned
Dany said:
Are you always professional? :p must be hard
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A combination of my taste, the advice to only wear shorts outside the city that I took as sound advice, and too many compliments on dressing nice have made me certain that I'm happy without them in the settings I am in. If someone ever told me to join them at the beach, I'd make sure to dress for the occasion. It just doesn't happen. I find my clothes comfortable and it's the way I like to dress, so not hard. I just don't go as casual as most people.
 
M

mantidor

Member
Escape Goat said:
Are your options really that limited? Go find someone who actually wants to be with you.
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I actually met someone and he keeps saying me how much he likes me and wants to be with me... and then disappears! what the hell is wrong with people? D:

I don't know if I should keep insisting to be honest... bah I'm going out with friends screw this pathetic games, I'm done with them.
 
K

Kevyt

Member
Dany said:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GSMIL1E/?tag=neogaf0e-20

Yeah my actual running shorts are also super short, makes it easier to breathe for a jog...when this weather isn't shitty >;/
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Yeah those look really good and they're cheap. I like cheap :p

But same as Pantheon, I would not be able to pull those off. Maybe if I had a body like the model shown there. They look perfect for the beach though.

As for wearing this in public, unless I want to show off my monstrous belly and its multiple layers of fat, I would not wear them.

Oh wait, you have to wear shirts in public, I forgot. lol. Oh man I'm gonna order some then.
 
D

daripad

Member
The only good thing about my body are my legs. They look strong compared to my skinny arms and I still haven't figured out why. That's why I'm losing weight, just to wear tighter jeans so I can show everyone how big they are 😏
 
K

Kevyt

Member
daripad said:
The only good thing about my body are my legs. They look strong compared to my skinny arms and I still haven't figured out why. That's why I'm losing weight, just to wear tighter jeans so I can show everyone how big they are 😏
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If you got 'em show 'em!
 
K

Kevyt

Member
Why are men so beautiful? It's like there's cute guys everywhere and you can't have them all... this saddens me. Have we been cursed? :(
 
M

Masquerader

Member
ab.aeterno said:
Apologies, but I have some late replies to posts I picked out to respond to but haven't had time or energy until now.


Images like this definitely help clarify poly- relationships better. As I get older I find I gain a better intellectual understanding of poly-, even if I don't emotionally understand it. To each their own; whatever makes people happy so long as it's consensual among all partners. But there's a weird sort of anxiety that the subject arouses in me. Truthfully, that I don't feel capable of it emotionally is a source of immense guilt and inner frustration, much the same with feeling no desire for casual hookups. I've often, sometimes intentionally, been made to feel selfish or weird for feeling that way. And sometimes I wonder if it's true. But that's not something I feel up to talking about further.


I know that feeling, though my upbringing wasn't Catholic but rather conservative non-denominational Protestant. Same basic thing, though: sex was never treated as normal nor heathy until I was a teenager and only then as something for married couples. Homosexuality was a sin (though weirdly my parents, or at least my father, are slightly less conservative in that they view it as not a choice but a part of oneself; it breaks down in that it then becomes like alcoholism, in that it's a predisposition that must be suppressed because of God.) So toss in some events I'm not interested in talking about, and being outed not by choice and them not taking it well, and it's left me with a strange and fucked up push/pull relationship with sexuality wherein I'm not a vanilla person but struggle to square that with an upbringing that says sex, let alone gay sex, let alone not vanilla gay sex, is wrong.

This whole wall of text was just to explain where I'm coming from when I say that I am in seemingly a similar position and understand some of how you might feel, so feel free to PM me if you ever need someone to talk to. Can't promise I'll be much help though, since I haven't figured all of this out yet either.


As someone who often thought like you do in the last paragraph, to the point I had literally given up all hope on the matter of ever finding someone, ever being capable of feeling those kind of feelings again, or on being worthy of any kind of romantic interest: this thought process is a poisonous pit of bullshit that, like quicksand, will swallow you whole if you don't get out of it.

Because ultimately it is purely destructive nonsense. It is the myopia of hopelessness or depression that tells you that you'll never find someone, nothing more. Listening to it will lead to ruin; you can't just not feel that way of course, trust me, I know. But you can tell yourself things to deal with those emotions and try to see things more clearly. Because trust me, there is someone out there with whom you are compatible, with whom you will find happiness and both give and receive love in equal measure. Don't defeat yourself and remove any chance of you finding this person.

I spent the last many years feeling this way: I will never find someone, I don't deserve anyone, I am broken and unlovable. And all it did was eat away at my heart and extinguish my hope. I gained nothing but lost parts of myself, and felt such unbearable loneliness.

What saved me was becoming a part of this community, after years without knowing any other gay people or having gay friends. Putting myself out there despite my feelings of unworthiness. And in so doing, met people who filled me with positivity when I had none, and found out what I'd accepted as truth was not.

Sorry to ramble, but my point was to use myself to illustrate both why this thinking is wrong and destructive, and how there is hope, even if it can't be seen. Don't give up.

And don't worry about not knowing your dreams or passions; I'm in the same boat right now.

Same as with Masquerader, shoot me a PM if you ever want or need someone to talk to.
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Organised religion sucks. Everything's always wrong. :p
 
U

umop_3pisdn

Member
HippieHobo said:
Why are men so beautiful? It's like there's cute guys everywhere and you can't have them all... this saddens me. Have we been cursed? :(
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You can separate initial sense contact or perception from the feeling of desire, so it's not really a curse in the sense that we have no agency (unless there is some other underlying problem that does diminish our agency). The initial experience of a stimuli is always relatively pure, but in the very next moment we weave it into a narrative of 'I' and 'it' and wanting something. Passions are basically just strong emotional-cognitive phenomena that capture our minds and sort of hold them hostage for a while. If you can stay with just the original pure experience, you're standing apart from passion, even at the same time that it has its hand on your shoulder. It's easier said than done, but that's basically the principle behind the 'antidotes' in Tibetan Buddhism. You're not correcting against a 'vice' by delving into its opposite, you're actually engaging with the 'pure' form of a passion before it gets corrupted by dualism, which is the phase where it's still harmless.
 
K

Kevyt

Member
daripad said:
I can't even get one ;__;
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Kaiser_Glider said:
Story of my life. It sucks. :p
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VegiHam said:
High five bro!
Nobody wants me!
Yay!
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The unlovebles.

umop_3pisdn said:
You can separate initial sense contact or perception from the feeling of desire, so it's not really a curse in the sense that we have no agency (unless there is some other underlying problem that does diminish our agency). The initial experience of a stimuli is always relatively pure, but in the very next moment we weave it into a narrative of 'I' and 'it' and wanting something. Passions are basically just strong emotional-cognitive phenomena that capture our minds and sort of hold them hostage for a while. If you can stay with just the original pure experience, you're standing apart from passion, even at the same time that it has its hand on your shoulder. It's easier said than done, but that's basically the principle behind the 'antidotes' in Tibetan Buddhism. You're not correcting against a 'vice' by delving into its opposite, you're actually engaging with the 'pure' form of a passion before it gets corrupted by dualism, which is the phase where it's still harmless.
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So I can have all the men I want? :D
 
H

Hours Left

Member
I hope everyone has a great weekend! :)

I just checked the forecast and it's supposed to be spring in about a week and a half in my region.

*builds a time machine*
 
M

Mr. F

Banned
Hours Left said:
I hope everyone has a great weekend! :)

I just checked the forecast and it's supposed to be spring in about a week and a half in my region.

*builds a time machine*
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:O

I raced to check the 10-day forecast but it's still going to be cold here. Bleh.

Reminds me though that I need to pick up a spring/fall/rain jacket, keep forgetting to buy one every year.
 
U

umop_3pisdn

Member
HippieHobo said:
So I can have all the men I want? :D
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Well, theoretically I guess. The irony (or maybe it should be obvious) is that if you gain equanimity over the passions you become disinterested and realize you don't really need it, the entire problem with passions is they hijack our brain and make us feel like something is so necessary or essential, when really if we could see things clearly we'd know that that isn't at all true.
 
K

Kevyt

Member
Henchmen21 said:
Not till you've eaten your vegetables young man
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I rather eat a vegetarian guy.

daripad said:
*eats a vegetarian (and cute) guy*
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That's what I was thinking.

umop_3pisdn said:
Well, theoretically I guess. The irony (or maybe it should be obvious) is that if you gain equanimity over the passions you become disinterested and realize you don't really need it, the entire problem with passions is they hijack our brain and make us feel like something is so necessary or essential, when really if we could see things clearly we'd know that that isn't at all true.
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So I don't need anyone to be happy? It's hard to grasp this. I feel like I'd be happier if I had a bf and I get so invested in that thought that thinking about my loneliness depresses me. It's almost like I believe strongly that having a SO will solve my anxiety and depression problems but I know that's not necessarily true. I just have to convince myself of this.

Hours Left said:
BlueBadger had another great article about his music published! :D
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Yay! BB is on his path to stardom. :)
 
U

umop_3pisdn

Member
HippieHobo said:
So I don't need anyone to be happy? It's hard to grasp this. I feel like I'd be happier if I had a bf and I get so invested in that thought that thinking about my loneliness depresses me. It's almost like I believe strongly that having a SO will solve my anxiety and depression problems but I know that's not necessarily true. I just have to convince myself of this.
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Romantic relationships have some general value, you're choosing some common values or a general sense of purpose in life, and committing yourself to that, and another person that can share in that with you. It's sort of like how people find meaningful work, only in this case that sense of purpose also involves having meaningful relationships for their own sake and doing this sort of 'work' together or as a sort of team. You're basically choosing a 'family', and I think that can be a really important part of one's personal development or finding general satisfaction in life.

But we're fortunate to have the things that we do have, we don't really need much in the way where becoming fixated on what we don't have will do anything to improve our circumstances. Life itself is kind of a gift, and there's a profound amount of satisfaction we can find just by trying to see life for what it really is in its own self-sufficiency and beauty, instead of always looking elsewhere. We're an extremely instrumental culture, and often we do not realize that we don't really need to do anything but really be where we are, to realize a meaningful degree of happiness.
 
D

Dany

Banned
HippieHobo said:
So I don't need anyone to be happy? It's hard to grasp this. I feel like I'd be happier if I had a bf and I get so invested in that thought that thinking about my loneliness depresses me. It's almost like I believe strongly that having a SO will solve my anxiety and depression problems but I know that's not necessarily true. I just have to convince myself of this.
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What you do is what matters to improve your depression and anxiety problems, not other people. Get outside help if you are cognizant if it is a problem hippie to address it before it grows and grows and becomes unstable.
 
U

umop_3pisdn

Member
If your depression seems to be a product of anxiety (mine is) consider trying tianeptine. Best antidepressant I've ever tried and no one really talks about it because it has barely left France. It's been around since the 1960s and is generally quite safe, and the only weird side effects as far as I know are some indigestion and vivid dreams.
 
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