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LGBTQIA+ | OT7 | ~First comes love, then comes marriage~
- Thread starter Kater
- Start date
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I've only recently got in to it so I'm just starting with basic recipes. I bake bread several times a week. I want to start being a bit experimental though and mix it up a bit.
unity of the void
Member
I'm going to a sensory deprivation tank tomorrow! Other than that I wrapped up some image comps for a gig and I'll probably play some FFXIV tonight, we'll see.
unity of the void
Member
I've been enjoying a slower progression play style too. The group that I play with started around mid August but we haven't made it to Heavensward yet. Another friend of mine is going to start playing in November, so we're kind of idling until then.
Escape Goat
Member
I hurt my neck at the gym today. I hope i dont have to back my car out from anywhere. I move like Im wearing a Tim Burton Batman suit.
kitchenmotors
Banned
Make sure you take it easy!
Charles Foster Kane
Rosebud
I came out to my best friend in the most casual way. I was always afraid for him to find out because he sometimes made kind of homophobic remarks.
So he said something homophobic, and I casually said "what if I told you I'm gay?". He backtracked a bit, but acted cool. Then a few days later (today). We started talking, he made an awkward gay joke, and then told me I told him I was. I explained that we're all the same, that we're as varied as straight people, then we started talking and he seems pretty cool about it. I'm glad it turned out this way.
So he said something homophobic, and I casually said "what if I told you I'm gay?". He backtracked a bit, but acted cool. Then a few days later (today). We started talking, he made an awkward gay joke, and then told me I told him I was. I explained that we're all the same, that we're as varied as straight people, then we started talking and he seems pretty cool about it. I'm glad it turned out this way.
Oh be careful!
I also "walk funny" atm. Hurt my back real bad two or so weeks ago. I go around bent in different ways every day
Henchmen21
Banned
Always move your head slowly when trying to peek at hot guys at the gym.
So you look awesome than?
Dead Prince
Banned
every thing is better with a gay joke.
I wish that were true about my parents. My dad in particular appears to be very homophobic, as well as transphobic. My dad is such a swell guy.
My modest contribution for this thread
An Israeli project in which some fine (very close to naked) looking athletes appear in.
An Israeli project in which some fine (very close to naked) looking athletes appear in.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
What comic? I just got Y: The Last Man book 1 but I haven't started it yet. I also got Hawkguy Vol 4 but I also haven't read it yet because I still need to get Hawkguy Vol 3.
I hurt my neck too!
while doing push ups how does that happen where does my head go while pushing up. maybe i should just stop doing push ups -__-
Congrats! Glad it turned out well for you. Hopefully he doesn't avoid you going forward.
Noicee
Spikematic
Member
Hi guys,
So it's Saturday night here and I'm sitting alone in my room and my head's a complete mess. I've been lurking around these parts for several years now and suddenly felt the urge to vent. I'm usually EXTREMELY private about this kind of stuff, but I feel so shitty right now that I don't care. So here I am. Apologies in advance to whomever decides to read my incoherent live journal ramblings that follow.
Quick summary about myself: I'm from around somewhere where it isn't exactly encouraged nor very safe to be not straight. That coupled with very narrow minded mentalities etc, I haven't exactly felt the need to try and experiment, as much as I wanted to. I've only had relationships with girls my entire life, but I've always had this faint longing to try stuff out. Was fairly easy to keep it contained due my location. Also, I'm one of those people who is actually quite content being alone.
That all changed recently. I started traveling quite a bit, both for work and to meet friends (I have a very close and large group of friends all over Europe from my online gaming clans etc). This year, when I was happening to be visiting an EU country (I'd prefer keeping it anonymous) and was lying in my hotel bed one night, I suddenly decided to do something that was not just out of my comfort zone, but something I thought would literally be the last thing I'd ever do. I installed Grindr on my phone. I actually felt dirty the second I did it (no offense to the people here who use it of course) and uninstalled it immediately. The next night, I did it again. The next night, I was like fuck it, and didn't uninstall it. I cautiously started messing around with the app. Whenever I got spooked by something (which was often) I'd literally just shut my phone off. This happened for ages till I decided once again to fuck it and just do something even more out of my comfort zone. It was my last night in that city, so why the fuck not?
So I started skimming through the guys in my vicinity and saw one who I immediately thought looked attractive. I have to point out that openly admitting to myself that I was finding a dude attractive was a big thing for me. And then I messaged him. Just when I was about to lose my nerve and delete the app he messaged back. So then we got talking. I think we talked for like 30 mins or so. I admitted to him that this was my first time and I was extremely spooked and he was super nice. I mean EXTREMELY nice. But then it was really late, like 1 or 2 AM I think and I decided it wasn't just meant to be and started saying goodbye to him. Before I was about to go I did something even more out of my comfort zone. I sent him a pic of myself. And then he said something that completely stopped me in my tracks. He said I was gorgeous and that it's too bad I had to go because I was his type. I was NOT expecting that. I know I'm not exactly bad looking but I don't exactly have much self esteem either.
So then I was like ok let's keep in touch via whatsapp maybe. And he agreed. So I left the country but we kept talking on whatsapp. I found out we had other stuff in common, including games and stuff. Ok, this is getting really long so I'll try to speed it up a bit more! He had a holiday coming at work so he decided to visit me at the next country I was going to for work. So we met up, had a fun evening and then went back to the hotel room I had booked for us. And that is the first time I was intimate with a guy. It wasn't exactly the smoothest of experiences, but we both had fun. In the morning, we tried more stuff as well. And then we had a really fun day before I had to leave in the evening.
After we parted, it was sort of understood between us that we were just two guys having fun while I was passing through Europe. But I have no idea wtf happened to me. I'd like to point out I'm not one of those people who is remotely clingy. The complete opposite in fact. And like I mentioned before, I'm perfectly happy being alone most of the time. But something just happened to me after this extremely brief fling. I couldn't stop thinking about him. I mean, it makes me sick that I'm being this pathetic. But I really can't help it...
We still talk on whatsapp. He is extremely nice still, even though I message him quite often. I've even sort of made it clear that I'm kind of smitten with him. But I know there's nothing to be done about that. I just need to get over him. But I can't. I've considered just deleting him off my phone. Go cold turkey. But the thought of that makes me ill. So I just wind up messaging him again. And no, he's not leading me on or anything. He is extremely nice (ok, how many times have I said that so far...) and we have really fun talks sometimes. But still, this is simply not healthy for me. Pining for someone it simply can't work out with. Heck, he's probably already grindering with other people when I'm sitting around here typing about how pathetic I am.
Ok so I'll make a TLDR for all this as well I suppose:
Never been with a dude before, but always wanted to experiment
Met someone during a trip, had a really great time
I can't seem to get over said person and it sucks...
I'm in a country where I can't even fathom exploring other options (although I'm working on moving away permanently, it's just proving to be hard)
I'm not even sure if I want to try stuff with other guys. I still seem to be more interested in girls. It's just HIM who I can't get over. Maybe because it's a first-time-experience crush thing? Dunno...
Once again, sorry for the long post. I am so gonna regret this in the morning...
So it's Saturday night here and I'm sitting alone in my room and my head's a complete mess. I've been lurking around these parts for several years now and suddenly felt the urge to vent. I'm usually EXTREMELY private about this kind of stuff, but I feel so shitty right now that I don't care. So here I am. Apologies in advance to whomever decides to read my incoherent live journal ramblings that follow.
Quick summary about myself: I'm from around somewhere where it isn't exactly encouraged nor very safe to be not straight. That coupled with very narrow minded mentalities etc, I haven't exactly felt the need to try and experiment, as much as I wanted to. I've only had relationships with girls my entire life, but I've always had this faint longing to try stuff out. Was fairly easy to keep it contained due my location. Also, I'm one of those people who is actually quite content being alone.
That all changed recently. I started traveling quite a bit, both for work and to meet friends (I have a very close and large group of friends all over Europe from my online gaming clans etc). This year, when I was happening to be visiting an EU country (I'd prefer keeping it anonymous) and was lying in my hotel bed one night, I suddenly decided to do something that was not just out of my comfort zone, but something I thought would literally be the last thing I'd ever do. I installed Grindr on my phone. I actually felt dirty the second I did it (no offense to the people here who use it of course) and uninstalled it immediately. The next night, I did it again. The next night, I was like fuck it, and didn't uninstall it. I cautiously started messing around with the app. Whenever I got spooked by something (which was often) I'd literally just shut my phone off. This happened for ages till I decided once again to fuck it and just do something even more out of my comfort zone. It was my last night in that city, so why the fuck not?
So I started skimming through the guys in my vicinity and saw one who I immediately thought looked attractive. I have to point out that openly admitting to myself that I was finding a dude attractive was a big thing for me. And then I messaged him. Just when I was about to lose my nerve and delete the app he messaged back. So then we got talking. I think we talked for like 30 mins or so. I admitted to him that this was my first time and I was extremely spooked and he was super nice. I mean EXTREMELY nice. But then it was really late, like 1 or 2 AM I think and I decided it wasn't just meant to be and started saying goodbye to him. Before I was about to go I did something even more out of my comfort zone. I sent him a pic of myself. And then he said something that completely stopped me in my tracks. He said I was gorgeous and that it's too bad I had to go because I was his type. I was NOT expecting that. I know I'm not exactly bad looking but I don't exactly have much self esteem either.
So then I was like ok let's keep in touch via whatsapp maybe. And he agreed. So I left the country but we kept talking on whatsapp. I found out we had other stuff in common, including games and stuff. Ok, this is getting really long so I'll try to speed it up a bit more! He had a holiday coming at work so he decided to visit me at the next country I was going to for work. So we met up, had a fun evening and then went back to the hotel room I had booked for us. And that is the first time I was intimate with a guy. It wasn't exactly the smoothest of experiences, but we both had fun. In the morning, we tried more stuff as well. And then we had a really fun day before I had to leave in the evening.
After we parted, it was sort of understood between us that we were just two guys having fun while I was passing through Europe. But I have no idea wtf happened to me. I'd like to point out I'm not one of those people who is remotely clingy. The complete opposite in fact. And like I mentioned before, I'm perfectly happy being alone most of the time. But something just happened to me after this extremely brief fling. I couldn't stop thinking about him. I mean, it makes me sick that I'm being this pathetic. But I really can't help it...
We still talk on whatsapp. He is extremely nice still, even though I message him quite often. I've even sort of made it clear that I'm kind of smitten with him. But I know there's nothing to be done about that. I just need to get over him. But I can't. I've considered just deleting him off my phone. Go cold turkey. But the thought of that makes me ill. So I just wind up messaging him again. And no, he's not leading me on or anything. He is extremely nice (ok, how many times have I said that so far...) and we have really fun talks sometimes. But still, this is simply not healthy for me. Pining for someone it simply can't work out with. Heck, he's probably already grindering with other people when I'm sitting around here typing about how pathetic I am.
Ok so I'll make a TLDR for all this as well I suppose:
Never been with a dude before, but always wanted to experiment
Met someone during a trip, had a really great time
I can't seem to get over said person and it sucks...
I'm in a country where I can't even fathom exploring other options (although I'm working on moving away permanently, it's just proving to be hard)
I'm not even sure if I want to try stuff with other guys. I still seem to be more interested in girls. It's just HIM who I can't get over. Maybe because it's a first-time-experience crush thing? Dunno...
Once again, sorry for the long post. I am so gonna regret this in the morning...
First of all, you're very brave for stepping out of your comfort zone and venting out a bit. It always helps to share your feelings and troubles with others, even if you don't know said others.
To be honest, I don't think I have an amazingly awesome advice that will solve your issues. What I can say is that it's great for you that with all the hardships and worries you had, you managed to follow your gut and tried something else. And you were well rewarded with that, so that's great!
I can't say I understand what you're going through living where you're at, because I feel that would sound pretentious. But it seems like you're working on a solution, getting out of there, so that's good. Even if it will take a little more while, I'm sure being free to make your own choices will be well worth the wait.
About your crash... I know it may not sound like a popular opinion, but at least for now, what I would've done is avoid texting him, since at the moment no good but heartache will come out of it. I'm not saying I'm right, and that it's the best course of action, but that's what I would've done.
Anyway, it's great that you're working towards being yourself
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
I think you should avoid texting him too, man. If a relationship with him is out of the question, I think the best thing to do would be to just quit him cold turkey. Better to rip the band-aid off as quickly as possible...
That's Marvel, right? Man, they got some really good illustrators. I only got a couple of them myself but I really want to get me a collection of at least the Young Avengers comic books.
I haven't heard of Y: The Last Man and what that is about but after looking them up I think it's worth owning them for the cover alone. Nice artwork on the covers.
I was reading and re-reading Mangas online. One Punch Man, One Piece and so on.
Hope your neck gets to feel better soon again.
TheAbsolution
Member
After my first day of work,I can conclude...
That lifeguards are the cutest department though mine isn't too shabby tbh
That lifeguards are the cutest department though mine isn't too shabby tbh
Sweeney Tom
Banned
Don't feel sorry for sharing here. A lot of us know at least some of those feelings, friend. You're really brave for at least giving it a shot. I know how it is to live in a place where there isn't a lot of opportunity for moving on to new (or in my case any) relationships, it sucks, but eventually the situation will get better.
I'd like to say you should try to stay friends with him, but I also agree with Watsky in that if you want to think about staying mentally healthy, it's best to just cut him out altogether and not stay in touch. Maybe let him know before you do it as one last shot and a goodbye simultaneously.
Again, we're all proud of you.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Yep, Marvel. I also want to get Matt Fraction and David Aja's (the author and illustrator of Hawkguy, respectively) take on Iron Fist. I really like their style:
Really, the thing that drew me to the series was the author - Brian K. Vaughan. He's the writer behind one of my favorite currently running series, Saga, and his work on that convinced me to read everything else he's done.
How do you read them online?
CornBurrito
Member
Woaaaaaaahhhh
Phil Ochs was so fucking handsome.
Phil Ochs was so fucking handsome.
I know how it feels too
Congrats on your coming out
He seems to be such a great friend, it's so good that he's not bothered by itCornBurrito
Member
Why am I such a jerk? Like I'm so aware of it but I don't have the desire to really police my behavior and try to actually change. Especially since I'd be changing simply for the sake of other people and not for myself. I just wanna know what along the way in my development made me such a jerk.
TheAbsolution
Member
What do you think you do that makes you a jerk?
CornBurrito
Member
lol have you seen my posts on this site? While for the most part I don't do that IRL, I do sometimes do that IRL. Usually with people I know somewhat better.
Oh, Hawkguy is some spinoff title for Hawkeye then?Yep, Marvel. I also want to get Matt Fraction and David Aja's (the author and illustrator of Hawkguy, respectively) take on Iron Fist. I really like their style:
Really, the thing that drew me to the series was the author - Brian K. Vaughan. He's the writer behind one of my favorite currently running series, Saga, and his work on that convinced me to read everything else he's done.
Need to write those down then. Might get some of them if I have money again for comics.
Can't mention it here I think. I'll send you a PM.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
The Fraction/Aja run was only for 4 TP volumes, and they're all pretty affordable on instocktrades. com.
welcome to the Forever Alone Club! here's a badge and some pamphlets. our next meeting is:
never.
yeah, get over him.
he is. get over him.
it's understandable having those strong feelings, though. reading how taboo homosexuality is in your environment, it's no surprise how exhilarating it must've been for you doing something with another guy. just don't let those feelings overwhelm you.
umop_3pisdn
Member
Idk, sometimes I get the impression you're kind of mentally rigid. It's a cliche but you might need to relax.
Aww, understood. Misunderstood hero humor. I like it. (That dude looks like John Goodman, maybe just coincidence. I still read it in his voice though.)
The Fraction/Aja run was only for 4 TP volumes, and they're all pretty affordable on instocktrades. com.
Thanks for mentioning the site to me.
DOWN
Banned
I got back from party night which i got a little more drunk at but i again should have drank more. Up the dose tomorrow night woo. The birthday boy seemed happy and he appreciated that i gave him cupcakes because he said he always wanted cupcakes as a gift and never got them before.
top o the page panther for ya
top o the page panther for ya
DOWN
Banned
He has a boyfriend lol
Spikematic
Member
Thanks for all the replies guys. You're all right of course, the best course of action is to simply force myself to cut off all contact. I mean, I started going over our whatsapp history and just about every conversation we've had was initiated by me. I wonder if I stop messaging him, will he even notice? Ugh, I'm supposed to have way more self respect than this...
So yeah, no more messages! Thanks again guys! Even though I knew what the logical answer was, it was nice hearing it from others.
So yeah, no more messages! Thanks again guys! Even though I knew what the logical answer was, it was nice hearing it from others.
CornBurrito
Member
That apparently wouldn't stop half the people in this thread.
Tbh, your incessant need to assert yourself as morally superior is getting tiring. You don't need to be nice but could you at least do away with shit like this:
CornBurrito
Member
I actually think that on a moral scale I fall pretty normal. I'm no paragon of morality. But I suppose when I am in a community where a large number of people find cheating to be no big deal, it would look like I come off as feeling morally superior. A thief looks good among murderers for example.
It's not just about the opinion in and of itself it is how you convey it, I did say before that I don't think you've ever had a thought which you have not out forward in the most abrasive way imaginable and I stick to that assertion. The reductionist view you've taken regarding cheating means that anything which deviates from what you see as the one and only truth is not just a defending cheating as a practise but tacit approval with the implication of them engaging in it. And when you put forward that thought for basically no reason other than condemning others you come across as a vindictive jerk, which brings me to that post of yours again;
And here I think the crux of it all lies, you seem to think that changing your behaviour for the sake of others is something inherently negative. It's not.
Hypothetical; Is it a negative if a friend of yours stops using the word "gay" as a synonym for bad because of you and your feelings toward it?
Changing (or if you will "policing") you own behaviour due to the way it makes others feel can be a purely empathetic endeavour. I have a friend who doesn't like that I swear so much so I try to swear less (i.e. police my language) around her. It doesn't make me any less me and it makes her feel better when talking to me. Empathy is a wonderful thing which the internet tends to forget.
CornBurrito
Member
That's cool and all, but the cheating that most people in this thread were defending at that time was not some morally ambiguous grey area. It was "I see a hot dude with a boyfriend, who gives a fuck." or "I have a boyfriend but so what, we both cheat on each other."
That's grey?
For someone who talks about empathy I find it hilarious that you'd defend sleeping with someone who is in a committed relationship. Cause yeah, you'd definitely want that to happen to you so it makes sense to do it to other people.
No what I'm saying is there is no black & white, there is no grey. There is people.
People are complicated, they have independent thoughts and they have their own moral compass. Those two may not always align with yours but that is no reason to reduce them to "the enemy" in your mind. Note how I've never said that you're wrong, I'm saying the need for you to assert yourself as right (and the manner in which you do it) in this issue is tiring. Especially when you start dragging statistics from your nether regions and apply it to the people in this thread.
edit:
Uh, thanks for proving my point. I haven't defended cheaters in my posts, but because I don't conform 100% to your one true path I must (in your mind) be defending them.
CornBurrito
Member
I see Game Analyst isn't as crazy as people would make him out to be. Sorry, but I don't buy into this "morality is all relative, you should just follow your own compass and never judge or dictate what other people should follow." Society cannot and does not work that way.
And interesting. Why have I never seen you post this sentiment when we routinely paint opponents of gay marriage/homosexuality, as "the enemy" simply for having a different moral compass?
Morality is relative, that doesn't make it above judgement which is something I didn't suggest. I'm saying that the instant reductionist view of people who don't conform 100% to your world view is what is bad. And to make myself more clear; I'm not talking about people in general, I'm talking specifically about you.
So now I'm defending asshats as well as cheaters? If you're going to continue to take my posts and twist them to the point of absurdity then I'm just going to pop off and continue to watch Narcos. Arguing with you at times is like babysitting an angry, stubborn five year old, no matter what you do or say you're the most evil person in the world.
CornBurrito
Member
But you are reducing them to asshats when they simply have a different moral compass. Why isn't that grey?
You still aren't reading my posts so I'm going to watch Narcos or find an actual five year old to argue with after this if that's ok with you.
Because there is no grey, there is people. People sometimes act as asshats, we as a society* has decided that acting in a homophobic manner is asshat-ish hence the group which does this are asshats. That still somehow doesn't make them people.
Yet again, I'm not saying you're wrong I'm saying that you (and specifically you) are overly reductionist and abrasive when it comes certain moral issues.
*the collective we and society in this case are Swedish.
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