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LGBTQIA+ | OT7 | ~First comes love, then comes marriage~

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Vazduh

Member
Nope. All of the friends I know who have tried it have ruined theirs. Not to mention that the reason why they opted for open involved a stagnating romance to begin with. So it comes off as a way to spice up the relationship when you don't know how to, so you pick the most tempting, easily accessible route available.

This is what happened to a couple of gays I've talked to. The exact same thing.
 

Kevyt

Member
I thought touching cakes was a euphemism for a lot more than actually just touching.

I thought it meant grabbing someone's butt.

Cake = butt, afaik.

But who knows, kids today and their lingo. Always confusing.

You were thinking about other things eh? Well aren't you a dirty boy. :p
 

sophora

Member
That's definitely sad. :( Hope you find something to do that fills the hole in your heart!

Thanks, just trying to keep myself busy.

So I got a date on Monday, to the museum (again). First date in this new city. Was planning to go alone but the guy loved museums too so why not?

Ouch. Trying to go open relationship during the 5th year must have been hard. I don't know what I would do if my bf asked me this after that long... Try to take some time for yourself, learn new stuff, try some things with friends.

Congrats, museums are quite fun. Mhmm, just been focusing on myself and hanging out with a local friend when I feel lonely.

Sorry to hear that. I don't know the full story (nobody does but you), but it seems you were kind of... mistreated for the last couple of years of your relationship? Sounds like it was a harsh time for you, even before the fifth year. Definitely unhealthy.

Getting over him will most definitely take some time, but ultimately, I hope you realize you're better off without someone like that. AlexMeloche gave you great advice so maybe you could try doing that, if you have the will to do so, of course.

The relationship was a learning experience, just didn't want to let go but I know I deserved better than to be treated how I was in the last two years. If anything I've grown more mature thanks to the experience. Just focusing on stuff I enjoy and improving myself for now and setting some goals I want to do. Though it hits me hard sometimes considering how different my routine has become without him being so embedded into my life. Exercising definitely helps me expend that emotion in a good way at least.
 

3phemeral

Member
This is what happened to a couple of gays I've talked to. The exact same thing.

I forgot to mention, I do kind of know one couple that does it. I know one half of that couple, I mean, and even though he said they're open, I have the impression that it's one-sided and that he keeps his conquests on the DL as much as possible. For all I know, he could actually just be flat-out cheating.

1ksWFY4.gif
 

Haly

One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
I know 2 people who have been in open or semi-open relationships for years. One is an acquaintance and one is a very close friend. I also live in NYC so I gather this isn't uncommon for young adults here.

Or maybe my friends are just implacable predators. Neither of them seem to care very much about settling down so I guess when you have that attitude, and are surrounded by people who also have that attitude, you can play fast and loose with your dating. On the other hand, I have another acquaintance who's anachronistically laser focused on marriage and settling down, so our 20s-30s bracket isn't like one big orgy or anything.
 
I think you have to have quite a bit of self-knowledge about what you actually want. I could see it easily happening that one person wanting it more than the other creates what feels like a tenuous position for the other person so they assent to preserve the relationship in some form. In that situation I think part of the blame falls on the person making the request, because they should probably be able to tell if the other person is really okay with it and prioritize that over their own desires (by considering what is more important to them and either ending the relationship or going along with the other's wishes). I assume in most of the situations where it fails it's due to some kind of immaturity.
 

halfbeast

Banned
Could you guys do an open relationship? I'd probably die if I tried it... I'm too weak for it lol

I couldn't 15 years ago but now it seems like a, how to put it, "liberal" way to keep a relationship going. ironically, my very first relationship was an open one. even though, my ex was a total loon, he had a "healthy" approach on sex. I was visiting a guy I've been chatting for many years in germany. when I was packing my things for the trip my ex gave me a pack of condoms, said it's ok if I end up having sex but to be careful. I laughed and said I'm not gonna do anything, I'm in a relationship! anyway, I ended up having sex with the guy. I told him that when I came back and it turned out he was occasionally doing his ex back then.

it will always sting a bit hearing that. but it felt less severe talking about it.

these days I can't always be there if my partner feels frisky and I don't want something like sexual frustration ruin our relationship, so I do encourage a little play on the side. as long as I'm not kept in the dark.
 
Woo, finally have a PS4 (the new model) with The Last of Us and God of War. I skipped the PS3 so this is exciting :) Had a bit of a scare where the Last of Us prologue wouldn't start up, but does now. If any of you gu(a)ys want to add me, my PSN is GasProblem. I'm friendless atm :(
 
So I followed the advice and haven't messaged him all day! And it's fucking killing me. Yes, I'm aware of how cliched and high-school this is and I loathe myself for being this emotionally weak out of nowhere. But I seriously can't help it. Will keep at it though. It's for the best. I mean, he didn't even respond to the last message I sent.

This sucks...

P.S. Sorry again for the livejournal venting.
 

Razmos

Member
Something that really grinds my gears is the diet homophobia/transphobia in comments such as "Why does their sexuality even matter? why is this a big deal? if being gay/trans is normal why are you making such a big deal out of it?" ect ect.

I discovered in another thread that Doctor Who series 9 will have a trans actress in it, so I went and looked it up, and the article title stated that she is the first "transgender actress cast in the show", which is true.

And the comments are a whole bunch of "why does her being trans matter? Why even bring it up?" or some variation.

It's gross how casual it is that whenever LGBT people reach a milestone, no matter how small, people are so ignorant about why it is important. Is it that hard just to have a bit of empathy? christ.
 
Something that really grinds my gears is the diet homophobia/transphobia in comments such as "Why does their sexuality even matter? why is this a big deal? if being gay/trans is normal why are you making such a big deal out of it?" ect ect.

I discovered in another thread that Doctor Who series 9 will have a trans actress in it, so I went and looked it up, and the article title stated that she is the first "transgender actress cast in the show", which is true.

And the comments are a whole bunch of "why does her being trans matter? Why even bring it up?" or some variation.

It's gross how casual it is that whenever LGBT people reach a milestone, no matter how small, people are so ignorant about why it is important. Is it that hard just to have a bit of empathy? christ.

They think they are being empathetic. But really it is the same problem with people who claim to be race blind and then use that belief to talk about how Black History Month shouldn't exist. They might want to act as if race doesn't exist, but other people don't. Similarly, these people want to act faux-enlightened. They see being LGBT as nothing except who you want to fuck, which is a private matter. Since they see don't have a problem with LGBT individuals they then assume nobody else does and that discrimination against LGBT folks doesn't really exist to any serious extent. And thus you can get "why should Gay Pride exist if there's no Straight Pride?" Or you'll get people (even on this forum) who don't get why LGBT people want or demand representation.
 

Razmos

Member
Razmos, have you been watching Hollyoaks lately?
I sometimes give it a watch if my tv is already on that channel. I watch it for the hotties mostly.

I remember when the gay storylines in the show were quite groundbreaking, now EVERYONE is gay or bi or whatever, and it's quite gross how all the gay/bi characters are all cheating on eachother or being slutty ALL the time. I mean the straight characters do it too, but they literally pair up every gay character with every other gay character.


From the bits which I've been watching recently:
  • There was a happy lesbian couple, until one of them went nutso crazy and became a crazed stalker for a married woman
  • A gay married couple (who were randomly paired up because they were the only 2 gay guys in the show) who got involved in drugs or some shit and one of them got HIV and then they split up and now he is fucking a woman and the other guy is now fucking the only bi character who is by the way a pig who sleeps with everyone because he's bi and now the other guy is now cheating on his fake-girlfriend with literally the only OTHER gay guy
  • and there is that gross super-camp guy with the tan who lies and crosses personal boundaries and tries it on with every guy that he can
  • Aaaand there was the kid who found out he liked cross dressing, got disowned by his father, FINALLY got some self-acceptance only to be killed off as soon as he did

Yeah, the show is an absolute mess right now, and all the good it did for being groundbreaking for LGBT issues has devolved into whatever is racy or shocking

They think they are being empathetic. But really it is the same problem with people who claim to be race blind and then use that belief to talk about how Black History Month shouldn't exist. They might want to act as if race doesn't exist, but other people don't. Similarly, these people want to act faux-enlightened. They see being LGBT as nothing except who you want to fuck, which is a private matter. Since they see don't have a problem with LGBT individuals they then assume nobody else does and that discrimination against LGBT folks doesn't really exist to any serious extent. And thus you can get "why should Gay Pride exist if there's no Straight Pride?" Or you'll get people (even on this forum) who don't get why LGBT people want or demand representation.
Yes! exactly this. It's like some people are so "progressive" that they cross over back into questionable territory again due to not realizing that, no, we are still not 100% equal and we are still fighting for representation and acceptance.

Just because we can marry now doesn't mean we are 100% equal to straight people and should be grateful and not ask for anything else, it's stupid.
 

Symphonia

Banned
Aaaand there was the kid who found out he liked cross dressing, got disowned by his father, FINALLY got some self-acceptance only to be killed off as soon as he did.
This is exactly the one I was going to bring up. I mentioned earlier in the thread about my dad being homophobic and transphobic. Well, him and my mother, for some odd reason, are huge Hollyoaks watchers, so you can imagine his joy in finding a new target in the form of Dylan. I honestly thought the writers did a good job with his story, and his relationship with Trevor was well acted.

Anyway, every time he was on screen, the abuse my dad would come out with - it was vile. He actually jumped out, laughed, and said "HA! That fuckin' tranny fag is dead, thank fuck!" when Dylan died. I looked at him in utter disgust and walked out.

For all the hate it gets, Hollyoaks handles controversial stories brilliantly well.
 

RatskyWatsky

Hunky Nostradamus
I couldn't 15 years ago but now it seems like a, how to put it, "liberal" way to keep a relationship going. ironically, my very first relationship was an open one. even though, my ex was a total loon, he had a "healthy" approach on sex. I was visiting a guy I've been chatting for many years in germany. when I was packing my things for the trip my ex gave me a pack of condoms, said it's ok if I end up having sex but to be careful. I laughed and said I'm not gonna do anything, I'm in a relationship! anyway, I ended up having sex with the guy. I told him that when I came back and it turned out he was occasionally doing his ex back then.

Do you think you had sex with the German guy because your boyfriend gave you permission to, or do you think you would have done it even if he hadn't given you the speech and handed you condoms?

Woo, finally have a PS4 (the new model) with The Last of Us and God of War. I skipped the PS3 so this is exciting :) Had a bit of a scare where the Last of Us prologue wouldn't start up, but does now. If any of you gu(a)ys want to add me, my PSN is GasProblem. I'm friendless atm :(

*jealous*

I really want a PS4 now for some reason. I want to play Final Fantasy 14 and stuff :( sony pls price drop
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
*jealous*

I really want a PS4 now for some reason. I want to play Final Fantasy 14 and stuff :( sony pls price drop

I have a friend who really wants me to get a PS4, but I keep telling him I'm waiting for a price drop and redesign (à la the Slims). I hope it comes soon.
 
I have a friend who really wants me to get a PS4, but I keep telling him I'm waiting for a price drop and redesign (à la the Slims). I hope it comes soon.

Here in Canada the price of the PS4 may be going up again. Was released at 400$CAD, currently at 450$CAD and there's a lot of chance it ends up at 500$CAD around Christmas.

Good thing I only wanna buy a PS3... Let's hope this one fall in price!
 

3phemeral

Member
Do you think you had sex with the German guy because your boyfriend gave you permission to, or do you think you would have done it even if he hadn't given you the speech and handed you condoms?
Yeah. I'm also thinking that under the hypothetical that he didn't cheat, the boyfriend would have still gone off and played around with his ex, right? How would you feel if you had the self control to not fool around with your German friend and then come home, being told that - would you feel the same way?

I mean, why wouldn't he just come out and say "I'm going to fool around with my ex while you're gone. Is that cool?" Just seems so cowardly to choose that moment, just before you fly out to drop a bomb like that just so you don't have to deal with any potential emotional repercussion.
 

halfbeast

Banned
Do you think you had sex with the German guy because your boyfriend gave you permission to, or do you think you would have done it even if he hadn't given you the speech and handed you condoms?

hard to say. I told him about what my ex said, so he knew it would've been ok. I usually don't make the first step, if I didn't get the ok from my ex and the german guy would've started something anyway, I'd probably let it happen.

back then things were a bit confusing and scary. I didn't have my teen years to figure out my sexuality and it was only a couple of months when my parents declared me as practically dead. I was already going to hell so I might as well enjoy the ride. :)
 

Veeboy

Member
So, I'm home for Labor Day weekend and my parents got a new dog over the summer and this is the first time I've met him. He apparently hates me since whenever I am anywhere near him (like just being in the same room) he starts barking. I wouldn't be bothered by this except for the fact that he keeps waking me and my parents up at night because he hears me upstairs. So that's how my weekends going. Sleep deprived because of an overactive chihuahua mix.

Woo, finally have a PS4 (the new model) with The Last of Us and God of War. I skipped the PS3 so this is exciting :) Had a bit of a scare where the Last of Us prologue wouldn't start up, but does now. If any of you gu(a)ys want to add me, my PSN is GasProblem. I'm friendless atm :(
You can add me (VeeboyTaire) if you want, but be warned that I rarely use any social systems on my consoles.
I want a PS4 for sure soon.

Also a Wii U only for Smash, Mario Kart, and Hyrule Warriors. Just fun party games.
The lack of mention of Bayonetta 2 and DKC:TF alone is just

yQqN0ui.gif
 

RatskyWatsky

Hunky Nostradamus
I have a friend who really wants me to get a PS4, but I keep telling him I'm waiting for a price drop and redesign (à la the Slims). I hope it comes soon.

I'm hoping to get a PS4 eventually, but I'm in no rush :3

I want a PS4 for sure soon.

Let's all get PS4's so we can have massive lgbtgaf fun times!

I mean, why wouldn't he just come out and say "I'm going to fool around with my ex while you're gone. Is that cool?" Just seems so cowardly to choose that moment, just before you fly out to drop a bomb like that just so you don't have to deal with any potential emotional repercussion.

Yeah, it definitely seems to me like he was fishing for approval in a cowardly "I don't mind if you have sex with other people...*hint hint* now tell me it's okay to do the same!" kind of way. He should have just been square with halfbeast and told him plainly what he was really after.
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
You should all buy a Wii U for Splatoon and SMT x FE too once that comes out.

I have a Wii U and Splatoon, but I've yet to put any serious time into it. Not sure I'm into random online matches. I wouldn't mind doing Squad Battles, but I don't have any close friends who own it.

Definitely excited for SMT x FE.
 

Veeboy

Member
I haven't purchased Splatoon yet, I feel like a bad Wii U owner.
I haven't either. We can be bad Wii U owners together.

I've abstained mostly since I rarely play online, but the game does look right up my alley so I'll probably eventually pick it up.
 
I got disconnected a lot playing Splatoon and the novelty has kinda worn off, playing against random strangers just isn't much fun. Nowadays I only use my Wii U for Mario Kart when I have some friends come over, at least until Fatal Frame comes out....

I think using the gamepad as the camera will only add more suspense to the game.
Can't wait for jumpscares on my pad !!
 
I listened to the Best New Track on Pitchfork and was like... this is too far above me. Can't do it.

I sort of 'trained' myself on autechre, which can be even more strange (Confield, lol). I think the trick is just to listen to it with headphones reclining in a chair with your eyes closed, do that for a bit and eventually it 'clicks' and you might end up with a way of challenging your musical appreciation abilities a little more than normal. That or there's secret mind-control signals in the music and they gradually gestate in your mind and seize control of your personality.
 
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