Aarglefarg
Member
Happy birthday also. 
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LGBTQIA+ | OT7 | ~First comes love, then comes marriage~
- Thread starter Kater
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CornBurrito
Member
Well one of my friends slept with a married dude. I feel like calling her out on it, but what the fuck -_-
Escape Goat
Member
What about it bothers you so much?
CornBurrito
Member
Hmm I'd say what bothers me is that she slept with some guy who she knew was married. I know the argument is "hey he is the one in a committed relationship, not her" but I still find it morally wrong and no argument is really going to change my opinion of it. An alternative argument I see get made is "if it wasn't her, he would have cheated with someone else" but even if that were true I don't really find it a convincing argument. I'm not morally repulsed to break off the friendship, but if she asks for my opinion I'm not going to pretend I find it fine.
Meanwhile she implied that she has feelings for this guy. What exactly is she going to get out of this? Some dude who will divorce his wife for her and then potentially leave her the next time a new piece of fuckmeat comes by? Or will she just be his side bitch for life?
Interesting article, and I kinda agree with what he says there, I've never had a problem with gay characters having stereotypical qualities, so long as it's not done to the point that they become a comic relief character.
Ideally we'd have enough representation to reflect how it is in reality; that gay people come in all sorts of shapes and sizes.
Also, as always with IGN, if you like to keep your brain cells intact steer well clear of the comments.
And happy birthday Henchmen!
Henchmen21
Banned
Thanks again everyone for the bday wishes.
Also Corn it will probably be the later. Most men like that rarely leave their spouses.
Also Corn it will probably be the later. Most men like that rarely leave their spouses.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Well, if that's what he feels like he needs to do, then maybe it's for the best. Best wishes Terri!
CornBurrito
Member
Happy bday.
And yeah, I don't think the dude would leave his wife. Not for her anyway. If I were a cheater like that I'd like to have my cake and it it too. So I think he'll keep cheating and using my friend as a side bitch until he gets caught by the wife. And is that really a good thing for my friend if she has legit feelings for this guy?
Escape Goat
Member
I think your moral objections matter less than her ability to make adult decisions. Shes your friend and you dont want her to get hurt and thats understandable. Persuading her on that basis seems like the friendly thing to do.
CornBurrito
Member
She's my friend so I dont want her to get hurt, but I also don't really condone a friend participating in some morally reprehensible behavior. I think my moral objections are perfectly valid as one of the main driving forces of my objection to her behavior. If I had to put a number, I'd say my desire to say anything is driven 70% by moral objection and 30% by wanting her not hurt.
Mystic Theurge
Member
Happy Birthday, Henchmen21
There's an old saying you might know, it takes two to tango.
CornBurrito
Member
Indeed. I think the cheating husband is the more immoral actor here, since he is the one in the committed relationship. But I don't think that exonerates my friend of all the blame. She didn't have to be the one he cheated on with. Participating in that is immoral in my opinion.
Unless you are implying that the unknowing wife is at fault somehow in this. But even if she were some harpy of a wife who never had sex with her husband I don't think that excuses cheating.
I'm not saying your friend isn't to blame but you need to remember that he's the one in a committed relationship/marriage, as you pointed out above. They are both to blame. But, honestly, unless you know the full story about why he slept with her, it's unfair to judge them too harshly. He could be in an abusive relationship for all you know, and sought affection and intimacy, and found it in the form of your friend/your friend's vagina.
I'm with you. I suppose it depends on what kind of friendship you have with this person, but personally, I appreciate when my friends call me on my shit. It helps me keep my character in line when I'm too deep into a situation to notice when I'm being morally dubious. Also, if she really is emotionally attached to the guy, that's leading to disaster. Better to give her a dose of reality now to prevent being a shoulder to cry on later. (Although you'll probably still have to do the latter.)
CornBurrito
Member
Abusive relationship or no, I don't think it is moral for him to drag my friend into his mess. If he isn't happy in the relationship he needs to leave, not drag others onto his sinking ship. Similarly, if he's seeking affection and intimacy from someone else because his wife gives him none, I really think my friend should not be that person. Lets say someone leaves a car with expensive goods unlocked inside a bad neighborhood while going grocery shopping. You see this happen, and then decide to help yourself to whatever goods are inside the car. "Hey if I didn't take them, someone else would have!" is simply an excuse, but not a particularly great justification for participating in the action.
uhhh i feel u bro but people are not expensive goods in a car unless they are sentient robots or something
edit: my two cents:
i def agree that she prob shouldn't be invested in anything beyond physical, because she'll get hurt, although I also agree that if he wasn't gonna cheat with her, it would have been someone else, and it's not her responsibility to to anything except protect herself physically and mentally if she wants to. She has no obligation to keep this dude from cheating.
That said, if it were my friend, I definitely wouldn't want them to get hurt either, and I'd at least bring it up, and if they choose to reject my advice or not hear me out, then that's their problem.
However, if someone came at me with 'advice' from some kind of moral high ground perspective, I'd probably tell them to fuck off and mind their own business :/ So in conclusion, i'd only say something if you're sincerely interested in making sure that she's safe, and not say anything if you're just gonna be up on a high horse or parade your 'higher' morals or something. My friends do all kinds of shit that I don't necessarily agree with morally, but it's not my place to get all parental and chastise them for it. I might joke with them about it, but ultimately they're gonna do what they're gonna do and an appeal to some kind of better morals isn't the way to stop them.
edit: my two cents:
i def agree that she prob shouldn't be invested in anything beyond physical, because she'll get hurt, although I also agree that if he wasn't gonna cheat with her, it would have been someone else, and it's not her responsibility to to anything except protect herself physically and mentally if she wants to. She has no obligation to keep this dude from cheating.
That said, if it were my friend, I definitely wouldn't want them to get hurt either, and I'd at least bring it up, and if they choose to reject my advice or not hear me out, then that's their problem.
However, if someone came at me with 'advice' from some kind of moral high ground perspective, I'd probably tell them to fuck off and mind their own business :/ So in conclusion, i'd only say something if you're sincerely interested in making sure that she's safe, and not say anything if you're just gonna be up on a high horse or parade your 'higher' morals or something. My friends do all kinds of shit that I don't necessarily agree with morally, but it's not my place to get all parental and chastise them for it. I might joke with them about it, but ultimately they're gonna do what they're gonna do and an appeal to some kind of better morals isn't the way to stop them.
Thequietone
Member
Happy birthday, Henchman21.
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I got new glasses today. I'm far sighted. I had to keep rescheduling my eye appointment as things kept coming up, so I was glad to get that over with. Here is how I look with them.
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I got new glasses today. I'm far sighted. I had to keep rescheduling my eye appointment as things kept coming up, so I was glad to get that over with. Here is how I look with them.
Escape Goat
Member
Looking good, quietone.
Im watching the breakfast club on cable and the censoring is hilariously bad.
Im watching the breakfast club on cable and the censoring is hilariously bad.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Good ol' Pete Sampras
dat chest tho <3
Hours Left
Member
We have Cherry Coke in Canada now. You don't know how long I've waited for this.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
We have Cherry Coke in Canada now. You don't know how long I've waited for this.
They didn't have Cherry Coke in Canada before?!
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
I mean, they don't even have Cherry Coke in bags???
Prototype Viktor
Member
they haven't had Cherry Coke in bags since the great incident of 1983 with the Pepsi Clear bag inside a bag of experimental Fanta bag
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Is that how Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire?
Hours Left
Member
It had to do with the ingredients in the US formulation that provided the cherry flavor. They were not used (banned?) in Canada. Obviously they've found an alternate method of implementing this. I'm not sure if either of you have been to Canada, but a lot of our junk food tastes quite different compared to the US.
Now we are truly the world's #1 place to be.
I wish, I'd hook it up like an IV.
CornBurrito
Member
I'm not saying people are goods in cars. It is a comparison though. Analogy I think is the proper term.
And the comparison is that someone WILL plunder the car if you don't. Similarly, the husband WILL cheat with someone if it isn't you. But why should YOU be the one to plunder the car? And why should YOU be the one he cheats with? I think the correct action is to leave that to less moral actors, and strive to be a better person.
And she has no obligation to keep the dude from cheating I suppose. But I personally find marriage to be worth protecting and an institution deserving of respect. So many people celebrated the victory of gay marriage, and I in particular was elated because I see marriage as something worth protecting and promoting. I hope that gay culture (and modern straight culture among youths) shifts such that there is a greater respect for marriage. But it seems that the respect isn't quite there yet if people don't see sleeping with a married dude as even the slightest bit wrong.
DOWN
Banned
I think both people are responsible for an affair or cheating if they both knew that one/both of them were in a relationship. Sure, if only one is in a relationship then that person is at greater fault. I don't get the idea of letting the single person who joined in the behavior with the 'unavailable' party off the hook, however.
That said, it's nothing I'd distance myself from friends over alone.
That said, it's nothing I'd distance myself from friends over alone.
CornBurrito
Member
Oh of course not. I still intend to remain friends with her.
Dead Prince
Banned
Oh, this city now has intersection lights like Vienna and other big cities here in Austria depicting a same-sex couple.
Looks like this.
Or that one.
It looks cute and it's a small little reminder that people like we here exist too.
they look the same. except one is skinny, the other one is fat and old looking
kitchenmotors
Banned
I agree with everything you said. Friends can be messy sometimes, I wouldn't distance myself over something like that. People make mistakes and learn from them, usually.
Escape Goat
Member
I don't think thats possible unless you were in a coma.
You'd be surprised what you can do when you're sick, hungover or overworked.
I've done close to 20+ when I was hungover. I love sleep, though.
Nah, one couple wears dresses, the other pants and shirts.
I had a 34 hour shift at the hospital. Medical residencies are a modern form of slavery.
On a side note: Just found out UPS returned my package to sender, and I paid for express delivery. Ugh. I ordered some products from DS Labs because my hair feels weak and thin
Escape Goat
Member
new page, new hottie...you know the rules
I think people purposefully have the 50pp thread just so we have more posts like these.
Henchmen21
Banned
I think people purposefully have the 50pp thread just so we have more posts like these.
Naw we have because 50PPP is the master race.
DOWN
Banned
I make the dumbest mistakes in front of the biggest boss. I'm the smoothest when it's any of the second tier managers, but this top manager makes me so frazzled. He's got a really annoying, cloying voice (not just stereotypically gay like my other manager's voice, just plain annoying), he is way overbearing and hovers around, and he stares too long after a conversation making me super uncomfortable.
what do you work as? im not sure if your statement sounds like sexual tension of not.... might just by my rose wine kicking in
unity of the void
Member
might just by my rose wine kicking in
I'm about to embark on a Chardonnay journey myself, haha. *raises glass*
Escape Goat
Member
I got some cheap merlot from wal mart while doing my grocery shopping the other day.
CornBurrito
Member
Sense8 episode two: ok most of this show isn't dumb but how did the Indian girl do the dance number? She didn't know about it so she would never be able to do that choreography.
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