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LGBTQIA+ | OT7 | ~First comes love, then comes marriage~
- Thread starter Kater
- Start date
- Status
hmmm well he's a bit of a prawn, but it is unusually entertaining in a trashy sort of way!
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
I had a date tonight. I haven't had one for over 9 years. it was nice.
tell us more!
Escape Goat
Member
I... I don't know how to process it. what's a typical first date scenario? I mean, it started out pretty casual. he asked me if I wanna hang out, smoke and drink at the river and I said "ok".
well, he was smoking those tiny weird cigars and was drinking water. and I thought: I guess we won't get drunk and high on weed tonight. :/
then he started sorta bitching about gay culture and how they're all just looking for a quickie. he needs to like somebody, to feel comfortable with a person to have sex. and I thought: I guess I'm not gonna get laid tonight. :/
finally, when I walked him home he kept mentioning his job and how money isn't important, but he doesn't earn enough to afford his own place. that's why he lives with his mom. that was the moment the screaming in my head started.
...it's still screaming.
So guys I have a question. How do you deal with a friend who is pretty two faced? Like they are nice to your face but are pretty rude and say things behind your back to make other people not talk to you? Do you just break it off and not say anything or do you bring it up with them knowing they will say to your face that nothing is wrong and act like the world is fine aka turning a blind eye to any conflict? Kind of dealing with that and I need some guidance there.
Escape Goat
Member
Do you think your life would be worse off without this friend in it? Depending on how invested you are in the friendship I'd at least give him/her the benefit of explaining. Sometimes its best to swallow your pride and open the line of communication before shutting it all down. I did that once and I regret it to this day. I was completely in the right and nobody would ever expect I'd be the one to reconcile but I was too prideful. You don't have to accept his explanation or apology.
If this friend is worth it I'd at least be sure I did what I could to salvage the friendship.
That's the thing tho. I'm not sure he would actually want to truely talk to me about it. He's pretty "nothing is wrong" and avoids having serious talks about things like that. I almost feel like I will waste my time talking to him.
Escape Goat
Member
It all comes down to how much you are invested in this friendship. Until you talk to him you don't know if you could repair the damage. By talking to him you have a very concrete resolution to the whole thing. You don't have anything to lose it seems at this point.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
So you didn't enjoy it? I thought you said it was nice?
Ughh when I come into contact with people like that I usually either avoid them or try to keep them at a distance. Is he a good friend? If so, then I would maybe try to talk to him about it. If not, drop ha
I guess I will go for it. Doesn't hurt to ask.
Nah not a good friend. Just a friend.
yeah, nice, as in nobody died and he wants to see me again.
I have a severe social phobia and was shaking throughout the date. because of it I kind of want to go on another date, get comfortable around people again. it might be less awkward the second time around. it's just really exhausting. :/Sex on the first date is rare. Weed would have been nice though, I agree. Would at least make talking easier.
eh, sex relaxes me, makes the date less awkward. :3
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
yeah, nice, as in nobody died and he wants to see me again.
Well, that's good then! Maybe next time you could offer to bring some beer (or other kind of alcohol) just in case he doesn't have any to bring himself?
is it though
Escape Goat
Member
Ratsky is saving himself for marriage.
Henchmen21
Banned
But he can't wear white!
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Keep watching, there's a reason for it.
I know that sex is a stress reliever. But so is laughing. You could opt to telling jokes and laugh together with your date. Or smoke weed.
I'm just saying that if you don't have the option for sex on the first date that there are always alternatives to make it a better time for you (and him).
Ratsky unlocking all the pants at first sight, I see.is it though
Ratsky "Casanova" Watsky
DOWN
Banned
This is a retail clothing job I do when I'm not at school. It's not sexual tension on my part for sure. Nobody likes him, but we're decent at hiding it. He's on Grindr according to another coworker of mine, which plays into my reasons for never having made any online dating/hook-up profile.what do you work as? im not sure if your statement sounds like sexual tension of not.... might just by my rose wine kicking in
So, I need advice, this girl I'm 'seeing' - we've known each other for a while and, as you all know, we have now took it to the next level. Thing is, I have something huge I need to tell her about me, but I'm worried it may/will be a deal-breaker. It's nothing bad, per se, but it's something I should've told her at the beginning. How does one go about telling her something like this?
CornBurrito
Member
Would kind of help to know what it is. Like its a huge difference if it's "I have an STD" or something like "I murdered a dude once".
Escape Goat
Member
Biforce of Power
you should probably tell her pretty soon. that's kind of a big thing to not mention
Yeah, it's just how do I go about it? I've not mentioned it yet for reasons I do not wish to go in to on here, but yeah.
Escape Goat
Member
You've known each other awhile but she doesn't know you have a kid? Maybe slip it in a conversation sometime. "I have to drop my daughter off at her friends but maybe you'd like to get some yogurt after."
CornBurrito
Member
Have sex with her and if she calls you "daddy" segue into the topic of you having a daughter.
bollywood bro
GasProblem
Member
Lito & Hernando 4ever <3
I just got to the point where they broke up
I HOPE LOVE WINS IN THE END
I HOPE LOVE WINS IN THE END
This probably seems like the most viable option, though I might leave the yoghurt part out.
Awkward.
Urm, I think the fact you have a daughter is way too big of a thing to just slip casually into a conversation, it would likely make her feel like she doesn't know you at all if you are keeping such big things to yourself. You are way past the point of just "casually slipping it into a conversation", that's the kind of thing you'd do on a second date or something.
You're better off just admitting it and telling her and just let her react naturally rather than trying to blindside her with it.
The fact you haven't told her after this long is mystifying to me, as it probably will be to her.
You're better off just admitting it and telling her and just let her react naturally rather than trying to blindside her with it.
The fact you haven't told her after this long is mystifying to me, as it probably will be to her.
Escape Goat
Member
Revealing it casually is the opposite of blindsiding her. Confronting her forces a reaction from her and puts everyone in an awkward position. Thats going to make her feel blindsided.
I'd be a bit offended if someone just slipped something so major into conversation as though it wasn't anything to think about. it's like treating as if it's not even worth mentioning or discussing with your partner and their input
Exactly, at least if he confronts her with it they have chance to talk about it.
slipping it in there is most definitely blindsiding her and not giving her chance to react. It's just "oh, I have a daughter" and that's that.
It just comes across as just trying to avoid the problem, which isn't healthy.
Escape Goat
Member
But he is mentioning it. And if she wants to discuss it then she can open the discussion up. And if she still wants to see him then he can be more comfortable broaching the subject on their next date.
Find a good day. Sit her down and talk to her, mano-a-womano.
Tell her that, sadly, for reasons beyond your control, your daughter is no longer in your life, but because of that, she won't be a factor in your current relationship. And that you feel that your GF deserved to know now before your relationship advances any further.
The important thing is that she begins by sympathizing with you and not feeling like you had something to hide, which is what a casual mention will do to her response.
Tell her that, sadly, for reasons beyond your control, your daughter is no longer in your life, but because of that, she won't be a factor in your current relationship. And that you feel that your GF deserved to know now before your relationship advances any further.
The important thing is that she begins by sympathizing with you and not feeling like you had something to hide, which is what a casual mention will do to her response.
DOWN
Banned
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
B^)
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
DOWN
Banned
Too nervous. I'm an introvert and talking to people I don't know well is hard. I'm told I hide that well, but I don't enjoy that feeling and being around people I don't know, whether in a class or a fast food line or wherever makes me really anxious. But then again, I also don't have any particularly wild desires to chase after, so the plain ones are plenty of challenge.
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